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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Wildflower on December 3, 2003, at 10:53:58
Sorry for the flurry of recent posts. I really feel like I'm sliding downhill. :'-(
I just got out of a meeting with my manager who cautioned me about my recent work habits (coming in late, not performing like I used to, lack of enthusiasm, etc.). Well, heck if he had insomnia and depression something tells me that he'd be ineffective too! I so much wanted to tell him about my situation but I don't trust him enough. I work for a fairly large company and they are constantly laying people off. I don't want to give them any reason to let me go. Trust me, they'd do almost anything to save money.
Is anyone else's work life suffering? How do you handle it?
Posted by Penny on December 3, 2003, at 11:26:17
In reply to Losing control of life - struggling at work, posted by Wildflower on December 3, 2003, at 10:53:58
> Is anyone else's work life suffering? How do you handle it?
I'm not handling it very well, unfortunately. I was just getting ready to post a "How can I learn to like my job?" request for help, but you beat me to the punch!
My boss hasn't said much to me about my poor job performance, and perhaps he isn't paying much attention, but I, too, am consistently late for work and my performance is suffering due to depression, poor quality sleep, anxiety, etc. He knows some of what's going on, though I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I was in the hospital (and, thus, out of work) for a week this summer, so I kinda' had to tell him something, and I'm not a good liar. He was very supportive, and he continues to be understanding, but I fear that he is going to reach his limit of patience with me in the near future, and then what???
Which, of course, doesn't help matters.
At my last job, my boss knew what was going on with me, and I don't think it was a good thing for him to know, but when I was having to leave work every week for therapy, he had to be told something. Same thing now - I'm seeing my T twice a week, and on Thursdays it's after work, so I don't have to leave early, but on Tuesdays it's in the afternoon, so I do have to leave early. I just make sure to mark it on my timesheet - what else can I do???
But, back to the problem at hand - how can we be productive at work while struggling with just plain living? I don't know, Wildflower. I really wish I did, but I don't. May I ask - do you *like* your job? I am doing what I was trained to do - I work in PR, and my degree is in this field, but I hate it. I hate sitting behind a desk. I'm too tempted to surf the net or play games or whatever I can do to keep from actually working. I have so much to do, and I find it all so darn tedious. To other people, when I tell them what I do, my job might sound interesting. And when I was first hired here, it sounded interesting. And it's not that I don't have the skills or the talent to do my job - I just don't have the motivation. Truly - I'm not sure if it would be different with any other job in any other field. I'm hoping it will be, as I'm planning to change careers, but I'm afraid my motivation will still wane.
So, what to do? I'll be interested to hear from other folks about how to regain control of our jobs, about how to learn to like or *at least* tolerate, or *at the very least* DO our jobs adequately.
My T recommended a book on procrastination, but I can't say it's been that helpful in motivating me. It's not that I don't care...well, maybe it is...but even the fear of losing my job isn't enough to make me work harder. Maybe I'm just lazy...
P
Posted by zenn4 on December 3, 2003, at 12:35:10
In reply to Re: Losing control of life - struggling at work ?Wildflower, posted by Penny on December 3, 2003, at 11:26:17
Working while under several stressors, such as yours is not going to make for a happy workplace. When I get stressed out, I am fortunate enough to be able to just leave, although this is starting to "get out of hand" sometimes. I think mainly, the first question is, do you really need this job? If your answer is like mine, a yes, then keeping it is of utmost importance. I like my independence that I wouldn't have on SSI or something other than that. But, your job may not be your passion. That takes time and preserverance, which can only be found when you are in good space. I say try to hang in there, it's tough but sometimes little stress relievers (mini yoga at your desk, going out for a walk) can make a big difference.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 3, 2003, at 23:10:31
In reply to Losing control of life - struggling at work, posted by Wildflower on December 3, 2003, at 10:53:58
Wildflower,
I truly feel for you, I know how stressfull that can be. I don't think that there is any answer that can fit everyone's situation though.
About a year and a half ago, I was working as an engineer. I had just been through a divorce. After a suicide attempt, I was hospitalized. I got back to work, and three days later I was laid off. It was an honest thing, they laid off my entire department.
Shortly after that (real big surprise here) I made another attempt, and went to the hospital again. When I got back, I started to see a local psychiatrist. (My former employer was fantastic in that they kept my insurance coverage for a while.) He suggested that I not look for another job, and file for SSDI.
Being considered legally disabled was a huge blow to me. I had lost my job, I lost my ability to work, and after some psychotic symptoms (hallucinations), I no longer drive.
I know though, that this won't always be the case. I have a number of different diagnoses, and they won't all last forever. The DID, and BPD will go away, or at least be something that I can learn to handle with consistent work and following the exercises, etc. that my therapist recommends.
I'm also bipolar. That won't go away, but if I watch my symptoms and keep taking my meds, it probably won't rear it's ugly head.
So.... what am I saying? I guess this: Follow the advice of your professionals; if they tell you it's time to take a break, then give that serious consideration.
Let your boss know that the appointments are not optional, but maybe you could come to a compromise; is there a therapist close to where you work. If there is, (unless you've a lot of time invested with the current one) then maybe you could have your therapy while taking less time off of work. I used to have an appointment before work. That might not work for everyone, as sometimes you can be upset when you leave, but it might be worth considering.
There is an awfull lot to think about, but let your boss know that you are working on the problem. That way, you acknowledge to your boss that you've heard his concern, and you are doing something about it. If his problem is just the hours away from work, maybe you can arrange to make up the hours on another day. If he is upset about breaking up your day, then maybe the appointment can be moved.
I think that the only serious trouble is when the manager informs you of a concern, and his concern is ignored. If you had to take say one two days off per week, they that probably can't be resolved, but if you work with your manager you can work it out.
I have a friend, that for quite a few months, lost a great deal of time. Her psychiatrist wrote to her employer, explaining her condition, the accomodations that were needed, and the expected duration. Her employer made those accomodations, the correct regimen of meds was found, and she still has her job.
It can be done, but I think you really need to keep your employer in the loop.
The last thing is to remember that your health is the first thing. If your job is getting in the way of getting better, you're not doing anyone a favor by continuing. Likewise, leaving a job when you don't really need to can cause it's own problems.
Please take care and do the right thing for you. I'm certain that you can figure it out.
Dee.
This is the end of the thread.
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