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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by oeps7 on November 6, 2003, at 9:00:47
Hi Kara,
Just thought I'd ask how your situation is going. I have been away from the board for a ay and wanted to check on you.
Mary
Posted by kara lynne on November 6, 2003, at 15:24:11
In reply to Karalynne, posted by oeps7 on November 6, 2003, at 9:00:47
Hi Mary,
You lifted my spirits by leaving that message--it helps not to feel so adrift and alone. I want to find more support --maybe a group of some kind, but I can't seem to zone in on the right one.I'm still living in my ashtray, avoiding The Enemy. The kid saw me today (luckily I was with a friend) and just glared and smoked. I'm trying to kind of meditate on the situation so I can get to a clearer state of mind, rather than walking around in a sea of reactive fear. I vascillate between thinking I've done something terribly wrong by calling the landlord, to feeling justified and that it was the right, unvictimized move to make. My friend said they are the ones who are wronging me here, and I lose sight of that.
I read your post again where you said it's not uncool to dislike smoke and noise in my home. Thanks, that's exactly what the situation is--nothing more, nothing less. But with four of them smoking it might just be an impossible situation, especially now that I don't have the kid even pretending to do me any favors. I hate having to be afraid to walk out of my own apt. I'd have preferred the landlord hadn't gone over there saying I said the kid's girlfriend lived there, but maybe if she'd spoken to me I wouldn't have said anything. However, since the landlord visited she has mysteriously disappeared...
Thanks again for thinking of me. How is life treating you and your fiancee'? I'd like to hear if you feel like talking.
Kara
Posted by oeps7 on November 6, 2003, at 15:54:34
In reply to Re: Karalynne, posted by kara lynne on November 6, 2003, at 15:24:11
Hi Kara,
You should definitely not feel bad about speaking up for yourself. I know what it's like to be kept up by noise and it is terrible! I use to have a broom handle I would bang on their ceiling with. Once the guy had locked his room and had his alarm clock blaring music when he wasn't even there.
When someone doesn't smoke the smell of smoke is terrible and you should not have to be subjected to it. Here in NYC you can't smoke anywhere now -imagine if your neighbors lived here lol :). Do not feel guilty or uncool-this has nothing to do with being cool.
I know it's tough being there alone-please be careful - just remember you have many people to support you and who care about you. When the time comes you will find the right guy - I know I went through a lot of bad ones until I found a great guy. Things are good here. I still struggle with my depressing days. I had read one of your earlier posts and I can relate to your school situation - I had a similar problem with father, it was several years ago though - I graduated college in 91'.
Things will get better for you, keep strong.
Take Care,
Mary
I won't be on the board until tomorrow morning again - because I write from work - so if you want to write I will write you back tomorrow. Be strong Kara :O)
Posted by kara lynne on November 6, 2003, at 19:14:45
In reply to Re: Karalynne, posted by oeps7 on November 6, 2003, at 15:54:34
I can't believe it--I'm not the only one! I used to live in a flat in San Francisco. Above me were two very heavy Latino women who wore stiletto heels and danced to Salsa music on the hardwood floors, while their husbands blasted the television and the toddler ran tirelessly to and fro--at all hours of the day and night. My ceiling had holes in it from the broomstick, and my brother will never let me live that down. I remember trying to reason with one of the women who said 'they didn't wear gym shoes', like I did. They must have slept in those stillettos.
Ah life.
No smoking in New York? I can't believe it. Especially since Sarah Jessica is constantly lighting up on Sex and The City.
Thank you so much for the encouraging words--the ex is having big parties all weekend long and I'm trying not to dwell on it. I can't wait until I have someone new in my life to obsess about...
Thanks Mary
Posted by fallsfall on November 6, 2003, at 22:10:57
In reply to Re: Karalynne, posted by kara lynne on November 6, 2003, at 19:14:45
Posted by kara lynne on November 7, 2003, at 0:17:55
In reply to Don't call him, Kara Lynne (it rhymes!) (nm) » kara lynne, posted by fallsfall on November 6, 2003, at 22:10:57
Arrgh. I was good until I wasn't, and now I'm not. Tis the eve of his event. Why the frig should I care? This man gave me nothing. Nothing. So he's having an event: his house will look good, his friends will look good, his books will look good. There will be famous people and writers--who will look good, and make him look good by attending. At the end of the day, that's enough for him.
And if the worst thing I can think of happens, then he will find someone looking particularly good, making him look even better, and they will make good looking love. And maybe they will get together and look good for months, or years. Maybe he will marry her instantly--doesn't that always happen? The guy stays with the kara figure forever until they break up and then he immediately marries someone half her age?
So that happens, all tonight. And? What have I missed--a lifetime of people telling each other how good they look and how brilliant and famous they all are? Hmm, I could go either way here. This could either make me severely plummet or knock some sense into me.
Posted by oeps7 on November 7, 2003, at 12:42:12
In reply to Then whom shall I call, Fallsfall?, posted by kara lynne on November 7, 2003, at 0:17:55
Just be good to yourself. Sounds like he wasn't such a great guy. Is there anything you can do for yourself while this event is going on?
Who cares about the famous people telling each other how successful they are, most are blowing steam. Many of them are sooo phony.
There will be someone who really loves you and will be understanding. Don't settle for less, who cares about his book, many people write books :). Maybe you should write a book about your experiences. Be good to yourself Kara.
Mary
Posted by sienna on November 9, 2003, at 17:32:15
In reply to Then whom shall I call, Fallsfall?, posted by kara lynne on November 7, 2003, at 0:17:55
hi again kara lynne,
i know what you mean. i feel like its all so absurd (not you, but the whole dating game) and
ridiculous. this guy sounds like hes not worth your time anyway. that probably doesnt help, i mean my guy isnt worth my time but it doesnt mean i wouldnt waste it on him anyway if he could just meet some simple baseline requirements.oh i wish i had good advice, but really the only thing i can think of is to go and splurge on a really good bottle of wine and watch "Charlies Angels" or some other kick *ss girl movie.
Sienna
Posted by fallsfall on November 9, 2003, at 20:34:36
In reply to Then whom shall I call, Fallsfall?, posted by kara lynne on November 7, 2003, at 0:17:55
Call me.
Posted by kara lynne on November 9, 2003, at 23:16:01
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call, Fallsfall? » kara lynne, posted by sienna on November 9, 2003, at 17:32:15
"...watch "Charlies Angels" ..."
I would but his best friend is in it. I had to sit through the premiere of that movie when we were together.
But surely I can find another one.
Posted by kara lynne on November 9, 2003, at 23:16:43
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call, Fallsfall? » kara lynne, posted by fallsfall on November 9, 2003, at 20:34:36
Ok. :)
Posted by sienna on November 9, 2003, at 23:40:39
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call,/ sienna, posted by kara lynne on November 9, 2003, at 23:16:01
Hmm Tank Girl??
Sienna who is familiar with people who work with film too
Posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 1:37:18
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call,/ sienna » kara lynne, posted by sienna on November 9, 2003, at 23:40:39
Poor thing.
Maybe we know each other! I had to go a wrap party for that movie. Were you at any?
Posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 1:46:06
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call,/ sienna, posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 1:37:18
Sorry--that came out not sounding how I meant it. I thought you said you worked in film so maybe you would go to those things, but knowing people who do you'd have as much reason as I would to be there. That was an incredibly uncomfortable event for me--all those events were. I remember feeling ok at one of them, when my medication mercifully worked for a couple of moments. I almost acted like a normal person--not that I was among many of them.
Posted by sienna on November 10, 2003, at 9:18:07
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call,/ sienna, posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 1:46:06
kara lynne,
i dont work in film, but i know some people who do. they do special effects amongst other things.
I know what you mean about the industry and its parties. And ive really only just brushed the surface.
You are fascinating to me. I think we probaboly have a lot in common. my email
is sienna_babble at yahoo dot com
sometimes i dont check it for a long time though so if you ever write there you might want to post and say you sent me mail. =)Sienna
Posted by sienna on November 10, 2003, at 9:19:44
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call,/ sienna » kara lynne, posted by sienna on November 10, 2003, at 9:18:07
OOPS that would be siennababble with no underscore.
=)
SIenna
Posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 12:42:15
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call,/ sienna, posted by sienna on November 10, 2003, at 9:19:44
Thanks!
And I realized I forgot the most important question of all even though this is the wrong thread: What kind of shoes were they?
On Sex and the City the other day (where I take all my advice from) Carrie said 'The path of a single woman can be a difficult one to walk. That's why sometimes we need a very good pair of shoes to do it in.'
(Or a very cute shoe salesman.)
Posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 16:34:17
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call,/ sienna, posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 12:42:15
Where are you? Just wanted to say hello.
Posted by sienna on November 10, 2003, at 23:14:43
In reply to Re: Then whom shall I call,/ sienna, posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 12:42:15
hehe, that is too funny.
you know, sometimes i really miss tv. but i just dont have the time to really invest and so i feel like its a waste to pay for cable... for me just cuz i never get a chance to watch it. though i guess as much time as i spend on the internet..... hmmm.
Sienna
Posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 23:49:21
In reply to Brown Pumas =) » kara lynne, posted by sienna on November 10, 2003, at 23:14:43
Oh it's much better that you don't. Do you think I'm proud of the fact that Bewitched is the high point of my day?
I just saw above that you were interested in linguistics--I'm really fascinated by the origins of language too. A much better use of your time to read those books...
Posted by sienna on November 10, 2003, at 23:56:13
In reply to Re: Brown Pumas =), posted by kara lynne on November 10, 2003, at 23:49:21
well, hehe, sometimes i really wish i could just sit down and relax and watch something. Sometimes the highlight of my day is rolling over and turning off the alarm realizeing i have *nowhere* to be at all today and can just hide in bed and read fiction. Its really not that much better, hehe. Luckily I have no one to impress now hehe.
Sienna
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