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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tabitha on June 24, 2003, at 1:47:17
Please let me whine, I do it instead of calling HIM...
I don't have the right kind of friends-- all mine are the kind where if I call them, they're not home, and they call back in a week, or a month, and if I tell them my problems once I feel like it's my quota for problems for the year. Not such a good system when one is feeling-- under the weather.
the irony, I just lost the boyfriend because he was too needy for me-- now I'm needy, and it's tempting to call HIM, because he loves to comfort me when I'm needy, because then he can throw it at me later-- see how I was there for you, now you have to be there for me, though his needy times come all the time, oftener and oftener, til they crowd out the happy times.
the last time I wanted to break up -- he actually fought for me, actually changed my mind, this time he thinks I'm going to break up, though it's not on my mind, so he dumps me to prevent it. I suppose he reads my heart, not my mind. It's true, my heart went cold from being told so many times-- I don't love enough, I don't give enough. I saw the future, stretching out, this litany repeated how many more times? the energy and anger driving it, not my doing. Nothing to do with me. I just get to be in its way. Who is it that doesn't love enough? Whoever it is, I refuse to wear its face.
I admit, I'm not the right partner for someone who needs frequent emotional nursing. I like for there to be more good times than bad. I want my partner to be OK most of the time. If I play nursemaid/therapist too much, the attraction goes -poof!-. I can't do it.
Posted by Sabina on June 24, 2003, at 2:01:48
In reply to Pardon me, more pain and complainin' here., posted by Tabitha on June 24, 2003, at 1:47:17
"I just lost the boyfriend because he was too needy for me-- now I'm needy, and it's tempting to call HIM, because he loves to comfort me when I'm needy, because then he can throw it at me later-- see how I was there for you, now you have to be there for me, though his needy times come all the time, oftener and oftener, til they crowd out the happy times".
Tabitha,
I have lived through this part, and sister, I'd wear mittens and sit on my hands to keep from dialing that phone if I were you. It's an ugly cycle. Talk to your friends here for your temporary neediness fix?
Bina
Posted by Tabitha on June 24, 2003, at 2:38:36
In reply to Re: Pardon me, more pain and complainin' here. » Tabitha, posted by Sabina on June 24, 2003, at 2:01:48
thanks Bina, I've been thru the breakup/makeup merry go round before, only once with this guy, I didn't call tonight, and tomorrow night's therapy, I'll make it, I will. if I recall, the terrible compulsion only lasts a week or so.. hope hope hope..
Posted by Greg on June 24, 2003, at 3:35:54
In reply to Pardon me, more pain and complainin' here., posted by Tabitha on June 24, 2003, at 1:47:17
Hey Tabs,
I don't remember you saying...does he have some form of a depressive disorder or do you see his actions now as an insecurity issue?
Please tell me to butt out if I'm being too nosey.
Greg
Posted by Tabitha on June 24, 2003, at 14:02:52
In reply to Re: Pardon me, more pain and complainin' here. » Tabitha, posted by Greg on June 24, 2003, at 3:35:54
oh, he's got a little mood disorder going, but is totally resistant to psychiatry and meds. It didn't seem such an issue at first, but IMO he could use some chemical support. he's generally been either a little too up or pretty down, not much in the middle.
Posted by Tabitha on June 24, 2003, at 14:05:50
In reply to Pardon me, more pain and complainin' here., posted by Tabitha on June 24, 2003, at 1:47:17
I woke this morning actually feeling relieved it's over and glad to be single again. Maybe it's a temporary happiness bubble, but I'll take it. Ahh, feels good to feel halfway good again.
This is the end of the thread.
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