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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by whiterabbit on May 11, 2003, at 11:58:04
I hope Dr. Bob doesn't put me on notice for not being civil to myself but man, am I dumb. How many times do I have to be taught the same lesson?
I hope this is the last time I have to learn this particular lesson.After my STBEH (soon-to-be ex-husband) had a heart attack last week, I brought everything to the hospital that I could think of to make him comfortable - clean clothes, toiletries, newspapers, magazines, decent coffee, mints, etc.
When he was discharged on Thursday, I drove him home from the hospital. I cleaned up his room and changed the sheets on his bed. Then I drove to the store and picked up his prescriptions and some groceries. I made him a healthy dinner and even brought him juice and hot chocolate before he went to bed.In the morning when I got up, he was gone. All of his friends called looking for him since he was supposed to be off work and at home resting, so obviously he was with his girlfriend. Yesterday he did the same...left early and came home late, without an explaination or a thank-you for anything I had done. I don't know what I expected, but I feel like the Queen of All Fools.
8-(
Posted by leeran on May 11, 2003, at 12:31:09
In reply to All Hail To The Queen Of Fools, posted by whiterabbit on May 11, 2003, at 11:58:04
When I was going through my first divorce a friend of mine told me the story of the dog with a crooked tail: You can tape the tail into place for a while, and it straightens out - but eventually, after the tape comes off, it reverts back to its crooked shape.
This is what came to mind as I read your post.
The "good thing" is (IMO) this: you did the right thing. You took the high road. You are a person of character and integrity who is, unfortunately, dealing with someone who appears to be going through a time of having little (or none) of either.
I'm so sorry, Gracie, that you've had to go through yet another disappointing situation with this person. I have always said the following about my ex-husband "he never fails to disappoint." It sounds like your husband falls in this category as well.
Posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 12:44:16
In reply to All Hail To The Queen Of Fools, posted by whiterabbit on May 11, 2003, at 11:58:04
It doesn't make you a fool.
You did what you thought was right. How he reacted doesn't change that. What you do is what you do. What others do is what others do. Don't let him change that. Then he'd really win.
Posted by Snoozy on May 11, 2003, at 14:49:04
In reply to All Hail To The Queen Of Fools, posted by whiterabbit on May 11, 2003, at 11:58:04
The greatest challenge is to be compassionate toward people who don't seem to merit it. If I hadn't already sensed your compassion in your posts, your actions certainly let me know how extraordinary it is.
Just think how overdrawn this man is at the karma bank :) Debtors prison maybe?
Posted by justyourlaugh on May 11, 2003, at 15:57:19
In reply to All Hail To The Queen Of Fools, posted by whiterabbit on May 11, 2003, at 11:58:04
feel bad for the"ass" but not the one who powders it..
j
Posted by horridmonster on May 11, 2003, at 19:29:55
In reply to All Hail To The Queen Of Fools, posted by whiterabbit on May 11, 2003, at 11:58:04
not a fool - you have shown that despite all of what is being thrown your way, you are capable of loving another being. And now it is time for that person you are loving to be you. When the heck does he get out for good? Any way that can be rushed along? You need the space he's taking up for YOU. Because as entertaining as the stories about his behavior are, and no matter how much this is an opportunity for the world to see how generous of soul you are, it's time for you. What's the schedule for his exit? Has this been discussed yet? I guarentee he won't want it to be as soon as you do- it might not feel like you are being nice but please be aware as you push him toward the door (That i hope you change the lock on) that you ARE being nice. To the person who will learn to take the niceness: YOU. It might not always be comfortable - it will certainly upset his majesty and it sounds like he's not used to being upset - but it's time to move him along. I don't mean throw him out and change the key behind his back, i mean set up a time he needs to be out by. And stick to it.
Sorry - i don't mean to give advice. You seem to be doing really really well. What ever you do will be the right thing because it will be your decision. I just want to let you know you are NOT a fool (Although i like fools!) and I also want to thank you for sharing all of what you're going through with us out here in cyber land. You're showing me it is possible to meet up with the challenges of life with humour, strength, and Grace.
-Horrid Monster
Posted by noa on May 11, 2003, at 19:41:23
In reply to Re: All Hail To The Queen Of Fools, posted by horridmonster on May 11, 2003, at 19:29:55
Gracie, jerk tho he may be, I guess in the time of crisis you did what you felt was right, and it was a good thing to do. But you can also decide not to the next time, if something comes up.
You ain't no fool--just a giving person.
Posted by WorryGirl on May 12, 2003, at 12:54:02
In reply to All Hail To The Queen Of Fools, posted by whiterabbit on May 11, 2003, at 11:58:04
> I hope Dr. Bob doesn't put me on notice for not being civil to myself but man, am I dumb. How many times do I have to be taught the same lesson?
> I hope this is the last time I have to learn this particular lesson.
>
> After my STBEH (soon-to-be ex-husband) had a heart attack last week, I brought everything to the hospital that I could think of to make him comfortable - clean clothes, toiletries, newspapers, magazines, decent coffee, mints, etc.
> When he was discharged on Thursday, I drove him home from the hospital. I cleaned up his room and changed the sheets on his bed. Then I drove to the store and picked up his prescriptions and some groceries. I made him a healthy dinner and even brought him juice and hot chocolate before he went to bed.
>
> In the morning when I got up, he was gone. All of his friends called looking for him since he was supposed to be off work and at home resting, so obviously he was with his girlfriend. Yesterday he did the same...left early and came home late, without an explaination or a thank-you for anything I had done. I don't know what I expected, but I feel like the Queen of All Fools.
>
> 8-(Gracie,
Bless you for your kindness. You did the right thing. Don't ever feel badly for doing that.
He is just being a bonafide S.O.B. If he is seeing someone else, she will get the pleasure of finding out eventually.
I'm sorry sweetie.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 13, 2003, at 0:06:05
In reply to Re: All Hail To The goodness » whiterabbit, posted by justyourlaugh on May 11, 2003, at 15:57:19
> feel bad for the"*ss" but not the one who powders it..
Sorry to be such a prude, but please don't use language that could offend others, thanks.
Bob
PS: Follow-ups regarding posting policies, and complaints about posts, should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Posted by whiterabbit on May 13, 2003, at 15:28:14
In reply to Re: please be civil » justyourlaugh, posted by Dr. Bob on May 13, 2003, at 0:06:05
Just wanted to point out, while we're standing here in the corner, that I usually go out of my way to not offend, even if I am a little rough around the edges.
-gracie
This is the end of the thread.
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