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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 20:17:02
Well, I'm not even sure how to begin this post. I've dealt with depression as well as paranoia, took zoloft,haldol and ativan for a while a number of years ago.
Since November I've been taking zoloft again and am not sure that it's really helping. I'm taking 50mg, but when I bump it up to 75mg I begin to feel bad. I'm taking about 1mg of ativan before bed to help with sleep. At the same time, I'm
unemployed, in debt, and just in general very unhappy. And I go through periods of extreme paranoia--I've traced this at times to lack of sleep and food, but when I'm in that state, it's difficult
to 'remember' that these are precipitating factors. But even when I correct this recently, I still find myself very ill at ease.
Today I participated in an anti-war march and found myself, my socially anxious self, surrounded by thousands of people.
And I felt as though I didn't deserve to be there, that if people knew my innermost secrets that noone would tolerate my presence.
What's more I sometimes feel as though people DO know these secrets.
I realize that I'm rambling, but I'm just unhappy and ashamed and find myself thinking more and more about suicide. Don't know what more to say.
Posted by Phil on January 18, 2003, at 21:06:39
In reply to Paranoid, posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 20:17:02
> Well, I'm not even sure how to begin this post. I've dealt with depression as well as paranoia, took zoloft,haldol and ativan for a while a number of years ago.
> Since November I've been taking zoloft again and am not sure that it's really helping. I'm taking 50mg, but when I bump it up to 75mg I begin to feel bad.>>>Try another SSRI, Z may not work as well the second time. You sound like a good candidate for Paxil. Helps social phobia, etc.
I'm taking about 1mg of ativan before bed to help with sleep. At the same time, I'm
> unemployed, in debt, and just in general very unhappy. And I go through periods of extreme paranoia--I've traced this at times to lack of sleep and food, but when I'm in that state, it's difficult
> to 'remember' that these are precipitating factors. But even when I correct this recently, I still find myself very ill at ease.>>>I would also suggest Klonopin to strongly consider with your doctor.
> Today I participated in an anti-war march and found myself, my socially anxious self, surrounded by thousands of people.
> And I felt as though I didn't deserve to be there, that if people knew my innermost secrets that noone would tolerate my presence.
> What's more I sometimes feel as though people DO know these secrets.>>>That's common. People out in the world all wear a game face. You are looking at their faces and comparing that to how you 'feel' inside. Chances are, others are doing that while looking at you.
There was a book out years ago called, I think, "The Imposter Syndrome". We often see our identity of an imposter (I can't believe I'm marketing manager, I wonder how long I can fool people. But your company obviously believes in you.) Visualization helps me with those feelings. See the outcome of a job interview as very successful in your mind and burn that image into your unconscious.
It also helps me, since I'm not very flexible in life, to try to imagine the interview and prepare myself for anything. Will I interveiw in a conference room, restaurant, big office, small office with one person, 3 people...
In short, I prepare my responses to whatever situation I might find myself in.
I used to be afraid to go to restaurants in my early 20's, you know, with a date. I always saw people "staring at me." It wasn't till I realized that if I focused my attention on the poor woman who was out with me that I no longer looked around at others. Nobody was staring at me, I was staring at them. : )
Focus on getting a job and you'll be surprised what you can do.
I know a few guys my age, 49.75, that quit good paying stressful high tech jobs, before the bust.
They took jobs like cashier at a convenience store, part time cabbie and for now are happy and know they'll get by.
The world is full of options and you are obviously someone who cares so don't give up.
Everytime suicide crosses your mind, give us 25 push-ups. If you ruminate, you'll be very fit.Phil
Posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 21:39:09
In reply to Re: Paranoid, posted by Phil on January 18, 2003, at 21:06:39
Thanks for the reply. I'll search the PsychoBabble
archive for Klonopin info.
One of my sisters suggested the same about Zoloft as she
had experienced that it quit working the second time through for her.
She suggested ad, which I forget at the moment-- family genetics might
respond similarly.
25 pushup idea is a good one-- my arms would be enormous by now.
Posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 21:41:38
In reply to Re: Paranoid, posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 21:39:09
>
> She suggested ad, which I forget at the moment-- family genetics might
> respond similarly.
>Should have written "a different ad"
Posted by Phil on January 18, 2003, at 22:09:09
In reply to Re: Paranoid, posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 21:41:38
Going with what works for her could give you a better chance of success.
Let us know what her suggestion is, if you want.
If everyone did pushups for suicidal thinking, we would be able to spot other pushuppers. When we talked, suicide would be mentioned and you would have to finish your conversation both doing pushups.
Posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 23:56:24
In reply to Re: Paranoid, posted by Phil on January 18, 2003, at 22:09:09
>
> Let us know what her suggestion is, if you want.I think it was Celexa.
> If everyone did pushups for suicidal thinking, we would be able to spot other pushuppers. When we talked, suicide would be mentioned and you would have to finish your conversation both doing pushups.
Or perhaps because we talked we'd be less inclined towards suicide.
Posted by Phil on January 19, 2003, at 0:17:55
In reply to Re: Paranoid, posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 23:56:24
> >
> > Let us know what her suggestion is, if you want.
>
> I think it was Celexa.
>>>>Celexa was better than most for me. Talk it over w/ your doc. Celexa has fewer side effects than Paxil for most people.
> > If everyone did pushups for suicidal thinking, we would be able to spot other pushuppers. When we talked, suicide would be mentioned and you would have to finish your conversation both doing pushups.
>
> Or perhaps because we talked we'd be less inclined towards suicide.
>>>>I hope everyone gets a chance to read that. : )
Posted by jay on January 19, 2003, at 7:21:25
In reply to Paranoid, posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 20:17:02
> Well, I'm not even sure how to begin this post. I've dealt with depression as well as paranoia, took zoloft,haldol and ativan for a while a number of years ago.
> Since November I've been taking zoloft again and am not sure that it's really helping.
<polite snippage>Hello:
If you aren't getting much, or any, relief from Zoloft, don't be afraid to ask for a different antidepressant. Some people swear by Zoloft...others have a really tough time with it, and I was one of those.
If Zoloft is healping a bit, you can always ask to try augmenting with another med, and one from a different class (like a tricyclic) may make a big difference.
I found Zoloft a bit helpful at first taking it, but I became a 'social wreck' after being on it for a few months. I was always fatigued, with very bad nerves...very nervous. I felt much like you did in a crowd of people.
Make sure you tell your prescribing doctor all about your feelings/and/or med issues.
Best wishes....
Jay
Posted by carry on January 19, 2003, at 19:26:17
In reply to Re: Paranoid » agencypanic, posted by jay on January 19, 2003, at 7:21:25
I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Ask the doctor about the Zoloft, Paxil or Wellbutrin might work out better for you. I have times when I am in a crowd and think people are starring at me and know what I am thinking. It is a very hard thing to go through. That is one of the reasons I do not get out much, because I am afraid I will go through this. I know it shouldn't keep me in but it does. I try to pray when I am in the situation but I can't seem to get in enough control to do it....hang in there...you will get through this....carry
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