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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 24 to 48 of 48. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on October 13, 2002, at 3:50:04
In reply to Re: Well, bust my buffers! » GabbiX2, posted by Dinah on October 12, 2002, at 15:10:43
Hi Gabbi,
I re-sent my emails to you. Did you get them this time? If your mailbox still isn't accepting my mail (pout) maybe you'd like to arrange a time to come to Yahoo Open chat?
Dinah
Posted by GabbiX2 on October 13, 2002, at 13:25:57
In reply to Re: Gabbi's mail, posted by Dinah on October 13, 2002, at 3:50:04
I'm sorry.
I'm at the end of my tether.
I've been tossed away like garbage again
and can't find any solace anywhere.
I could try p.b open I don't feel much can help.
I sent you my dad's e-mail address if you don't mind sending your mail again.
Sorry to bother.
I'm so lost
Posted by Dinah on October 13, 2002, at 13:32:12
In reply to help Dinah., posted by GabbiX2 on October 13, 2002, at 13:25:57
Gabbi, can you make it to Open now? I can be there. Just let me know here, and I'll pop in.
Sorry your email isn't working. :(
Dinah
Posted by Dinah on October 13, 2002, at 13:35:42
In reply to Re: help Dinah. » GabbiX2, posted by Dinah on October 13, 2002, at 13:32:12
Let me know if you have trouble getting in.
Posted by GabbiX2 on October 13, 2002, at 13:36:03
In reply to Re: help Dinah. » GabbiX2, posted by Dinah on October 13, 2002, at 13:32:12
okay i'll try now.
Posted by GabbiX2 on October 13, 2002, at 22:02:42
In reply to Re: help Dinah., posted by GabbiX2 on October 13, 2002, at 13:36:03
Hey Dinah.
Thanks. I don't know if you got my e-mails.
I'm afraid my computer has developed a mind of its own again.
I'm recieving a few, some of sent have been misdirected. I haven't recieved yours though.
This afternoon I felt absolutely normal.
Its kind of irritating because I must need a mood stabilizer, obviously I'm capable of putting things in perspective. Its just inconsistant.
Thanks again
I wish I could learn not to trust people.
How do you do that when its reflexive?
Do you know?
Posted by Dinah on October 14, 2002, at 7:16:16
In reply to Re: help Dinah., posted by GabbiX2 on October 13, 2002, at 22:02:42
Hi Gabbi,
I am so glad you felt better yesterday afternoon! Maybe the Effexor withdrawal is wearing off a bit. I haven't gotten any emails from you since we chatted.
I'm afraid I can't help you with the trust issue. My problems run in the other direction. It is very hard for me to trust anyone. It took over 5 years for me to trust my therapist.
I hope you continue to feel better today.
Dinah
Posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 8:36:28
In reply to Re: help Dinah., posted by Dinah on October 14, 2002, at 7:16:16
and that my friends weren't real
They were just inmy imagination and that he didn't like my picture and that My mom should put me out of my misery cause I'm psychotic.I don't quite know how to handle someone confirming everything I don't like aobut myself
except I know that my friends are real I thinkthis really hurts
Posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 8:50:56
In reply to he said I was a loser., posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 8:36:28
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Posted by Dinah on October 14, 2002, at 9:08:10
In reply to he said I was a loser., posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 8:36:28
Well, I pinched myself so I know *I'm* real.
Does it matter what he says? Other than it hurts. And it's okay to hurt. It's natural to hurt. But who you are doesn't depend on what anyone says about you. Not him, not me.
Look down inside Gabbi. I'll bet you see kindness and generosity. I'll bet you see charm and humor. Maybe you see some things you don't like as well. I think we all do. And that's okay. We're all works in progress.
But let him and what he says about you go, Gabbi. There's no real point in dwelling on any of it. It doesn't make anything any better. Grieve and move on, Gabbi. See it as a learning experience. I hate to see you beat yourself up with this. I know it's easier said than done, and I know it's your life and your choice. But I just don't see any benefit to you in thinking about it.
You felt well yesterday, and you will feel well again. It just takes time.
Take care, sweetie.
Dinah
Posted by SandraDee on October 14, 2002, at 10:14:17
In reply to Re: Gabbi, posted by Dinah on October 14, 2002, at 9:08:10
I have been gone the whole weekend. Got away (6 hours away) from the house/kids and everything. I went to a friends/boss' birthday party. It was so fun and I was so glad to get back last night and snuggle my kids. I kept thinking I would send you a postcard from there but just didn't even have a chance, we were way out in the boonies on a farm. I found out I am NOT a farm girl. I'd much rather have my daughter wake me up at 6:30 than a rooster wake me up at 7:30am. Although it's only 8am and I'm ready to get outta here again. With all those weird sounds a 3 yr old feels she has to make - or should I say screech. I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. I have also emailed you - hope you got my email. And I mailed you another little card - hope you get that soon too. Keep on hangin' on. So many people care about you - even if we seem invisible - we are real and the thoughts and feelings we feel about you are real. We can't all be wrong about feeling your kindness and warmth and just overall sweetness, can we now? I want you over for Thanksgiving Dinner! :)
big bear hugs,
me
Posted by Tabßitha on October 14, 2002, at 13:53:42
In reply to he said I was a loser., posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 8:36:28
Gabbi, I emailed you. But, Dinah's post reminds me of some Lenny and Squiggy...
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you pinch us, do we not say "Ow"?
I used to love that for some reason.
Posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 18:27:54
In reply to Re: pinching, posted by Tabßitha on October 14, 2002, at 13:53:42
Of course why on earth would I need to imagine friends when I have a headless beatle to keep me company!
Things are slowly being put back into perspective. Slowwwwlllyyyy
Tabitha I'm sorry about not keeping contact.
Its something that has lost me friends.
No matter how often I'm told, and I mean YEARS
it never sinks in that people may value my company.
So whenever I cancel plans or don't return phone calls I always assume the other person is relieved, not disappointed.
When I'm a bit more together I can remind myself that I have been told I'm not true.
But when my spirits are down I go on 'automatic'I'm so sorry
You are very important to me.
Posted by shar on October 15, 2002, at 0:52:41
In reply to Re: pinching » Tabßitha, posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 18:27:54
ok, I get so Mad reading about parents (or anybody for that matter) who plow through other people and their feelings without regard to the damage they do.
Tell yer dad fer me, I gotcher loser Right Here....
Arrgghh. I will be angry on your behalf until you feel good enough not to believe that BS!!
I'm real enough, not imaginary, and He has not made any points with me by hurting you! Phooey on that, don't buy it. It may be hard but you have to listen....start listening....to someone else, somewhere else that will give you life affirming messages.
It is the VERY least you deserve (we all deserve!), and you deserve common decency as well. What bull!
Shar
Posted by Tabßitha on October 15, 2002, at 1:02:40
In reply to Re: pinching » Tabßitha, posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 18:27:54
Thanks for saying that, I'm touched. It didn't occur to me that you might be thinking people would prefer NOT to hear from you when you're down. With me though, I'd much rather hear that someone's mad at me, or just not feeling social, or too busy to make contact, or whatever. I always take sudden silence as rejection. I've gotten into trouble with this before.
Posted by Dinah on October 15, 2002, at 6:43:17
In reply to Re: pinching » GabbiX2, posted by Tabßitha on October 15, 2002, at 1:02:40
I have a tendency to do that with silence too, Tabitha. And with a lot of other things as well. I tend to see rejection just about everywhere.
I do think that's one area where therapy has helped a bit. My therapist has patiently worked with my automatic thoughts in that area. I still feel that way, but then force myself to correct those thoughts and try again. Well, sometimes anyway. And sometimes is better than I used to do.
But I think I've substituted it with extra sensitivity to rejection from my therapist. I tell you Tabitha, this stuff is really like Whack the Mole. Fix one thing and another thing pops up. I think I'm preprogrammed for a certain amount of neuroticism.
Well, today's another day and I'm going to try again.
Dinah
Posted by SandraDee on October 15, 2002, at 9:30:04
In reply to Re: pinching » GabbiX2, posted by Tabßitha on October 15, 2002, at 1:02:40
I take it that way too Tabitha, and it's hard to break that since it's a common and simple assumption to make. Several emails/chat then pow nothing - so what happened? Was it something I said?? hahaha Just rehashing it over in your mind can send ya spinning. With Gabbi I have learned it's different - she clams up when she's in crisis mode, but I guess likes to hear from us, just doesn't feel like replying. For me - it's hard to keep emailing and stuff when you get no responses back, but I think it does get through and I would hope she'd say "quit emailing me" or "slow down" if she wanted me to. :)
Posted by Dinah on October 15, 2002, at 9:32:53
In reply to Re: pinching » Tabßitha, posted by GabbiX2 on October 14, 2002, at 18:27:54
Hi Gabbi,
I'm still able to get your emails, even if you aren't getting mine. And I'm glad you are feeling a bit more perspective. It takes time, you know. I know when I have a meltdown, there are days I start to feel better, and then a while later I feel more solidly better, more internally stable.
I still wish I could mail you my therapist. :( As long as you promised to mail him back twice a week.
Dinah
Posted by gabbix2 on October 15, 2002, at 22:45:38
In reply to GG, tell dad..., posted by shar on October 15, 2002, at 0:52:41
Thank-you for being angry on my behalf
and understanding why i can't be right now
go girl
Posted by gabbix2 on October 15, 2002, at 22:50:25
In reply to Re: pinching » GabbiX2, posted by Dinah on October 15, 2002, at 9:32:53
a heartfelt apology for all the concern and worry
its such a selfish thing and i wish more than anything to stop bringing people down with me
I made a promise i am staying here though, I honestly don't get why
i won't break it
so no matter what that's never to be a worry
i'm sorry i didn't say that before
and sorry doesn't mean much without trying to change and not be so selfish and I am trying,
the results may not show for a while
but i am trying
Posted by Dinah on October 16, 2002, at 8:47:10
In reply to hey, posted by gabbix2 on October 15, 2002, at 22:50:25
Gabbi, I want you to quit thinking of yourself like that. Effexor does strange things to people sometimes and withdrawals can cause tremendous upheaval. Add relationship woes, and it's no wonder that you were so distressed.
I'm really glad you've made a promise to yourself to stick around and are going to keep it.
But don't worry about the selfish stuff. Because of the nature of the site, sometimes we give more and sometimes we need more. Everyone understands that. And you give plenty when you can, Gabbi. That's why people care enough to want to give as much as they can when you need it.
Take care,
Dinah
Posted by gabbix2 on October 16, 2002, at 17:23:22
In reply to Re: hey » gabbix2, posted by Dinah on October 16, 2002, at 8:47:10
Thank-you Dinah I will try some good things have happened I feel fortunate.
I as you suggested "put my pdocs feet to the fire"
or actually asked him point blank what he was trying to accomplish by not giving me a mood stabilizer, as I've never been worse even before ANY medication and that the hippocratic oath states "above all do no harm." I felt like a made for t.v movie heroine with that sophistry, but it was effective.
I got a prescription for depekote, if it helps I'll be glad but also furious that I wasn't given it earlier..My p.s.w also has been my personal 'yoda'
she is incredible, schizophrenic which she is able to manage soley with exercise, and a low dose of Celexa.
She's known several people who've been sent home from the hospital worse off (as I was, in Aug) and killed themselves.
Therefore is a staunch advocate, and understands the agony of being yelled at while you're in crisis by tired family members who bear the resulting burden. She's aside from that, EXTREMELY intelligent, witty and interesting.
A blessing to me, on all fronts.
So many unsung hero's among us.
Posted by gabbix2 on October 16, 2002, at 17:28:38
In reply to Dinah lovely,, posted by gabbix2 on October 16, 2002, at 17:23:22
In case there had been an inference that I had overdosed, I hadn't. I wanted to make that clear, I made the promise that I wouldn't months ago. I felt as bad as I ever have but no
I simply cursed having made the bloody promise!
Thats how I know I can keep it too. This was the test.
This hospitalization was because of my Effexor
"demon possession."
Posted by Tabßitha on October 16, 2002, at 22:58:50
In reply to P.S. esp. Tabitha, posted by gabbix2 on October 16, 2002, at 17:28:38
That's great Gabbi. I hope you give yourself big kudos for surviving that "worst ever" feeling without hurting yourself.
Posted by gabbix2 on October 17, 2002, at 1:32:58
In reply to Re: P.S. esp. Tabitha » gabbix2, posted by Tabßitha on October 16, 2002, at 22:58:50
Ah Thanks Tabitha,
Sadly, no, I'm afraid I'm stuck at "Hey I'm alive dammit you don't exactly expect me to progress now do you"?In time...
I'll gladly borrow your Kudo's though, for now.
This is the end of the thread.
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