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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tina on August 29, 2002, at 11:45:31
Whenever I talk about suicide, it's inevitable that someone will say "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" and it makes me angry. My problems are NOT temporary. They are real, they are forever. Permanent.
Things I have done that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Things I haven't done.....people I've hurt, mistakes I've made, time I've wasted.....
The depression and anxiety will always be there, slowly sucking all the life out of me. There is no cure for a depression that is caused by the very air I breathe. There is no cure for anxiety that rages from every site my eyes behold and every feeling that is stirred within me. I have nothing and no one.
I take it back......I don't want to die, I want to have never been born.
Posted by Medusa on August 29, 2002, at 12:02:10
In reply to So lonely------it'll never change, posted by tina on August 29, 2002, at 11:45:31
"don't want to die, I want to have never been born"
you said it, girl. I'm all about that.
It looks like depression and anxiety will indeed be with us forever. So will a kind of loneliness.
But these change, in flavor if not in intensity or amount. I'm just as lonely as I was ten years ago when I was singler than single, but it's a different kind of lonely. Sometimes it's sadder to be lonely when you have people who are around and want their being around to make you not lonely.
The trick I'm looking for now is how to get some good out of life alongside all the lousy bits.
M
Posted by jay on August 29, 2002, at 16:42:15
In reply to So lonely------it'll never change, posted by tina on August 29, 2002, at 11:45:31
Tina:I don't know if this can be of help right now, but have you been following our thread about dating and such above? Maybe it's the last thing from your mind...but sometimes just even talking about it can distract our minds. Maybe I am *waaayyy* off base here. Please check it out....even just to look.
(And yes..I Am THE "Lonely Guy"..period..lol!)
Jay
Posted by tina on August 29, 2002, at 17:17:36
In reply to Re: So lonely------it'll never change » tina, posted by jay on August 29, 2002, at 16:42:15
thanks for the idea Jay but I'm married. I think that makes my lonliness feel even worse. Knowing that my husband has no clue what's going on with me. He'll never understand. He knows I go to therapy and has bought my meds for me in the past but he really just doesn't understand depression. I've never been able to make him understand. I don't even feel like I can talk to him anymore.
thanks though. Concentrating on the troubles of others usually helps but this time, the downward spiral is stronger. Everytime is lower than the last time. I think I have dirt piling at my feet this time.
I'm sorry about your dating woes.
Posted by Medusa on August 30, 2002, at 0:11:15
In reply to Re: So lonely------it'll never change » jay, posted by tina on August 29, 2002, at 17:17:36
Tina, just because you've ordered doesn't mean you can't read the menu! seriously, if you theorize a bit about the social stuff instead of feeling it - would that help?
About a DH not understanding ... is yours at all motivated to learn more? Mine understood nothing at all in the beginning ... and with time he started dx-ing his own clients (he's a lawyer) - his understanding of depression improved his connection with certain clients who were out of work for injuries.
Mine still doesn't 'get' it, in a lot of ways ... he's suffered low-grade depression himself in the past year, situation-based. Not the same as clinical. But this makes it harder for him to be there for me.
sorry, I'm rambling. I also feel desperately lonely much of the time.
M
Posted by trouble on September 5, 2002, at 12:45:44
In reply to So lonely------it'll never change, posted by tina on August 29, 2002, at 11:45:31
> Whenever I talk about suicide, it's inevitable that someone will say "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" and it makes me angry. My problems are NOT temporary. They are real, they are forever. Permanent.
> Things I have done that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Things I haven't done.....people I've hurt, mistakes I've made, time I've wasted.....
> The depression and anxiety will always be there, slowly sucking all the life out of me. There is no cure for a depression that is caused by the very air I breathe. There is no cure for anxiety that rages from every site my eyes behold and every feeling that is stirred within me. I have nothing and no one.
> I take it back......I don't want to die, I want to have never been born.
>Tina,
These words are beautiful, absolutely breathtaking. When you come out of this, and I promise you will, you will heal others by the very fact of your experience, which will show in your face and gestures. This feels good.
I hear God speaking to me in your message, don't you?
We are not alone, please keep posting, eventually your strength and power will emerge.trouble
This is the end of the thread.
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