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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 8 to 32 of 32. Go back in thread:
Posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 4:24:12
In reply to How do you know they were 16 years old? (nm), posted by hrtlm on June 29, 2002, at 3:24:02
I guessed at that as well as their height. The police didn't seem to mind, and most others gave descriptions that ranged from 15-17. As if I needed to explain that to you. Thanks so much for your concern.
beardy
Posted by KB on June 29, 2002, at 11:50:06
In reply to Robbed at gunpoint today., posted by beardedlady on June 28, 2002, at 18:49:12
How scary! But you must have handled the situation well since nobody got hurt . . .
Posted by judy1 on June 29, 2002, at 12:16:44
In reply to Robbed at gunpoint today., posted by beardedlady on June 28, 2002, at 18:49:12
What a terrible thing to happen- I am so glad you and your family are okay. I want to make sure you work this out with your therapist- that was a very frightening thing to happen, please don't minimize it and realize you went through a traumatic event and need to process it. Take care of yourself beardy- judy
Posted by ShelliR on June 29, 2002, at 13:33:31
In reply to Re: Robbed at gunpoint today. » beardedlady, posted by judy1 on June 29, 2002, at 12:16:44
I'm so sorry. I'm glad you weren't hurt but how tramatic that they had a gun and you had to go through such fear. .
I agree with Judy that you must talk about it.
Just because you didn't get physicaly hurt, this was still a horrible thing to happen and it's not surprising that you are numb.Be very gentle toward yourself.
Shelli
Posted by NikkiT2 on June 29, 2002, at 14:20:03
In reply to Robbed at gunpoint today., posted by beardedlady on June 28, 2002, at 18:49:12
How terrifying... take care of yourself..
nikki x
Posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 14:22:34
In reply to Re: Robbed at gunpoint today. » beardedlady » judy1, posted by ShelliR on June 29, 2002, at 13:33:31
I haven't talked about it yet with my therapist and won't get a chance to for at least another week, as I leave for vacation Monday. But I am very angry right now. I am less numb but still a little clumsy. I don't think I was afraid until I had to turn my back to them and walk away, but my knees weren't shaking then. My legs felt a little like lead, and all I could think about were my daughter and husband and trying to keep them safe from these two.
Lots of people saw this pair running yesterday, so we think we might get them soon.
I want to kill them both. I really do. I'd like to shoot them and put their bodies somewhere. And I think I could do it and sleep like a baby. I have always thought I could kill anyone who abused a child or an animal. It's probably a terrible thing to say, but my hatred for those who terrorize others--including the folks at Enron and Worldcom--is deep.
angry beardy
Posted by IsoM on June 29, 2002, at 14:28:11
In reply to thanks, all., posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 14:22:34
I might be different but I think anger is a good healthy reaction to such situations. I know I'd feel a mix of fear & confusion initially but I HATE people who harm others. My anger is unreal so I empathise completely with you.
Posted by SandraDee on June 29, 2002, at 16:25:50
In reply to thanks, all., posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 14:22:34
I really am sorry Beardy... I hope that you didn't get the wrong idea from my post... sometimes my attempt to use humor to difuse things blows up in my face. I hope you took my post for what it was worth, since you don't really know me. :) Good thoughts and happy vacation-ing to you!
Posted by Lou Pilder on June 29, 2002, at 16:48:11
In reply to thanks, all., posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 14:22:34
Beadedlady,
It's so hard to keep kosher on the road.
Lou
Posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 17:45:58
In reply to Leaving for vacation » beardedlady, posted by Lou Pilder on June 29, 2002, at 16:48:11
Posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 17:47:20
In reply to Really sorry Beardy » beardedlady, posted by SandraDee on June 29, 2002, at 16:25:50
No need to apologize. Thanks for the good wishes.
beardy
Posted by Lou Pilder on June 29, 2002, at 17:48:22
In reply to Like I'd keep kosher. (nm) » Lou Pilder, posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 17:45:58
Posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 19:16:45
In reply to where are you going to vacation? (nm) » beardedlady, posted by Lou Pilder on June 29, 2002, at 17:48:22
I'm going to the beach, but....
beardy
Posted by Lou Pilder on June 29, 2002, at 19:24:48
In reply to Lou, did you notice I was robbed at gunpoint? » Lou Pilder, posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 19:16:45
Beardedlady,
Yes, I did notice that you were robbed at gunpoint. The good news , though, was that you were unharmed.
Although I have never met you, I have a notion that you handled the experiance with calm and emerged unscathed. I have also been threatened by a man with a knife at my face and once also by a man with a gun. I know what you went through. I hope that you dissipate the terror that you encountered and have a very nice vacation at the beach. If you are going through Cincinnati, Let me know and we will give pizza chants together.
Lou
Posted by judy1 on June 29, 2002, at 20:12:06
In reply to thanks, all., posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 14:22:34
If I had been in your situation and emerged with your healthy anger, I think my therapist would pin a medal on me. I've posted before the 3 responses to fear- fight, flight or freeze. I definitely am a freeze person, but I strongly admire your 'fight' response. It still doesn't dismiss the need to process this however, and I truly hope when you are back from your trip that you work with your therapist (and let us know how you are doing). Take care, judy
Posted by beardedlady on June 30, 2002, at 6:06:32
In reply to Re: Lou, did you notice I was robbed at gunpoint? » Lou Pilder » beardedlady, posted by Lou Pilder on June 29, 2002, at 19:24:48
Lou is right. I am unharmed--physically. Though I think I have some emotions to deal with now.
He may also be right in a bigger way--and Judy, too. I have slept soundly and peacefully since this happened. I have not had bad nightmares. And when I have awakened at my usual 2:00 a.m. "bad time to wake up," I have fallen right back to sleep. When there is a real problem, I seem to pull through more than when I am worried about worry.
And a final thing. I am afraid I am not responding to this properly. I am not terrified. I am trying to find this terror, trying to be frightened by the recurring vision of these two scary things, but I am not able to feel it. This is why I have said I'm numb. There's no panic or horror. And that's what I don't get. I am a panic and horror person.
Oh, boy. Most people would be thrilled to have emerged this way. And I suppose I am glad not to be haunted or terrorized or panic stricken. I guess I'm just confused as to why I'm not.
I spent last week in a hot tent with my husband and daughter. I fell asleep immediately and took a sleeping pill every day at 2:00 a.m., when I woke up. I just took it to keep myself unstressed. I didn't want to lie there from 2:00 on and be tired the next day, so I didn't even wait to see if I'd fall asleep.
I got home and haven't needed a pill, even after this. Don't you think it's strange? Any explanations?
beardy
P.S. Lou, I'm going to a place we call Ocean Sh*tty. It's a crappy little beach resort for mostly obnoxious Marylanders where I go with my parents to be treated like a child for a week: watch fireworks from the 15th floor of their nice condo; play scrabble with my mom; lie on the beach, read, and people watch; get a massage and pedicure; exercise in beach air; and be treated by my Dad to nice dinners, frozen mudslides, and a new wardrobe! It is truly a relaxing vacation, which I now need. Last time I was driving through it in 1985. Before that, it was 1971, when my family moved from Indianapolis back to Baltimore. But I will surely look you up if I get there.
Posted by katekite on June 30, 2002, at 9:45:33
In reply to what Lou and Judy said, posted by beardedlady on June 30, 2002, at 6:06:32
Well hell -- I'm really sorry this happened to you Beardy. I would be really angry too. Actually I am faintly angry.
Hope the police get them before you do.
kate
Posted by Lini on June 30, 2002, at 20:43:57
In reply to thanks, all., posted by beardedlady on June 29, 2002, at 14:22:34
what a psychological mess for you to deal with, I am sorry to read about this happening to you.
One of my very "zen" friends always manages to say "this happened for a reason, what do you think you will have learned from this experience." Usually she pisses me off, but after some time, I always do end up discovering something that I have learned about myself from dealing with a situation like this. Maybe that will be true for you. Regardless, I wish you well on your vacation. Mudslides!
-L
Posted by krazy kat on July 1, 2002, at 11:28:54
In reply to what Lou and Judy said, posted by beardedlady on June 30, 2002, at 6:06:32
bl:
I'm really sorry this happened. I haven't been through this. Was your husband supportive?
I would be angry, too (I think). I'm fairly certain of the latter reaction because that's what my reaction to things in NYC was (things like a cab driver trying to drive off with my friends' luggage on Sat. :). That is nothing compared to your experience, of course.
Does it matter which reaction we have? Except perhaps flight or anger Are better because they are energy and we can turn them into something else if we try?
Take care.
- kk
Posted by fi on July 1, 2002, at 13:07:43
In reply to Robbed at gunpoint today., posted by beardedlady on June 28, 2002, at 18:49:12
I am so sorry about that- it sound terrifying. You have absolutely every right to be furious, including murderous fantasies!
I was attacked once- only got hand slightly cut when I wouldnt let go of my handbag, and didnt see knife so I didnt realise any danger till it was over (a few seconds). At the time I was furious- how *dare* he steal my bag!
Later I was very stressed and jumpy (I think its called 'hyperviligant' and its entirely normal). Then back to furious...
I hope they are caught but I also hope they dont come anywhere near you.
Fi
Posted by fi on July 1, 2002, at 13:18:02
In reply to what Lou and Judy said, posted by beardedlady on June 30, 2002, at 6:06:32
Sorry- I should have read all your posts before sending off my last post. I would add, having read this one, that there isnt any 'right' way to react. I dont why it may be happening as it is, but there could be an element of reality about it-you were in danger, but you arent any more. In reality, there is nothing for you to be scared of right now.
But who knows- aint psychological stuff complex! If you can allow yourself to be plain relieved that this is how you are reacting, that would be good?
Fi
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 1, 2002, at 20:13:36
In reply to Robbed at gunpoint today., posted by beardedlady on June 28, 2002, at 18:49:12
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 1, 2002, at 20:14:16
In reply to Robbed at gunpoint today., posted by beardedlady on June 28, 2002, at 18:49:12
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 4, 2002, at 3:15:46
In reply to what Lou and Judy said, posted by beardedlady on June 30, 2002, at 6:06:32
>
> And a final thing. I am afraid I am not responding to this properly. I am not terrified. I am trying to find this terror, trying to be frightened by the recurring vision of these two scary things, but I am not able to feel it. This is why I have said I'm numb. There's no panic or horror. And that's what I don't get. I am a panic and horror person.
>I hope vacation has been fun . . .
Are you still feeling numb?
Y'know, I have two takes on that reaction:
1. Cortisol can have a 'numbing' effect on our emotions. The stress of what you went through could still be numbing you out. Eventually, it may wear off and you may find yourself able to process emotions from the event.
2. I was always a worry wart. One of my biggest fears for life, since I was a kid and witnessed an accident, was getting hit by a car. So, 2 years ago, when I got hit by a car while crossing the street, it was like I was ready for it. (I was relatively unhurt, btw.) Somewhere, some part of me had been ready for it all along. It was functioning when things were going great that was scarier for me; then I _had_ a reason to worry.
Okay, dash back out to the beach and enjoy . . . :D
Posted by Angel Girl on July 5, 2002, at 15:46:38
In reply to what Lou and Judy said, posted by beardedlady on June 30, 2002, at 6:06:32
Bearded Lady
I'm very sorry to hear that you were subjected to this senseless traumatic experience. Emotional pain can be far worse than physical pain. I don't think there is any one right way to react to any trauma. Your mind will deal with it the best it knows how. Maybe in time your feelings will change. Like Judy, I would 'freeze'. I am unable to defend myself when my life or well being is threatened. I know this from experience. I can not yell or scream or even move. I am frozen in place and totally unable to move. Probably the worst way to react as that leaves me totally open with no defence without a rescuer.
You may feel numb now, but therapy may bring out other feelings. I understand your anger as well. I don't feel anger when faced with a trauma, I feel fear, a complete paralyzing fear. No matter how each of us reacts, it's normal. There is no right way or wrong way. I don't think you should question why you feel the way you do instead of how you 'think' you should feel.
I'm glad that your daughter was far enough behind to not have been involved in a physical way and her life not in danger. I'm very sorry that you have been subjected to this senseless act. Try not to force yourself to feel something that you don't. Therapy wil help you with this.
I hope that your vacation time does not get clouded with memories from this and you are able to relax and enjoy it. It doesn't sound like the 'ocean 'sh#$@' to me. It sounds absolutely wonderful.
Sending cyber hugs your way.
Angel Girl
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