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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Your brief definition ..
Posted by Phil on May 6, 2002, at 12:20:09
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Posted by sid on May 6, 2002, at 12:24:29
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 6, 2002, at 13:38:57
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Posted by beardedlady on May 6, 2002, at 14:08:09
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Posted by IsoM on May 6, 2002, at 14:14:33
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Wish I could be brief but I'll try my best.
Love is caring, wanting to care, sharing, laughing together, crying together, dreaming together, working together, snuggling together, burping together, all sorts of doing things together, both saying the same thing at the same time, a look in a crowd that says everything (no words need to be exchanged), both oohing & aahing over shared joys.
But love is being comfortable & happy enough with each other not to have to do everything together, being happy while still alone & separate from that person. Love can make you one with another, but even alone, you still are one without them. You enjoy being with them but you don't NEED to be with them. Your life was complete before you met them & will be even if they do go (through death or whatever).
And love is putting their needs over your wants, & knowing for an absolute certainty, that they'll do the same for you.
All this is why I'm now alone & single. I was totally alone before, when I wasn't single. This feels far preferrable.
Posted by IsoM on May 6, 2002, at 14:19:15
In reply to First illusion, then disillusion. (nm) » CtrlAlt n Del, posted by sid on May 6, 2002, at 12:24:29
Sid, I read in another post about how people think they need to make you "see the light" & get into a relationship. You're just fine the way you are. I prefer being alone too. I'm never lonely, never bored, have lots to do & know I'm not limiting myself in what I'd like to do because someone else doesn't want me to. A person who's single & is happy with themself is stronger than those who don't feel 'complete' till they have someone. I think many feel threatened by a happy, single person. They're not happy alone but often are unhappy with who they chose too.
Posted by kid_A on May 6, 2002, at 14:44:30
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Posted by beardedlady on May 6, 2002, at 15:01:23
In reply to Re: Anyone. explain to me what you think love is..... » CtrlAlt n Del, posted by IsoM on May 6, 2002, at 14:14:33
> Love is ...burping together...(This is not specifically for you, IsoM; it's sort of for everyone.)
I admit that burping together symbolizes that two people feel comfortable with each other. But this is the part that often ruins love for me and others. When my husband and I are having problems, I often attribute them to the ugly side of us--the burping and farting, the toilet habits, the nose picking, the immodesty.
I don't want to see my loved one as a smelly, uncivilized pig. Every once in awhile, we go on gross diets--no more gross stuff. We close the door when we're peeing, and we try to leave the room to hock a loogie. (Did I spell loogie right?)
I know it's funny, but it's true. We've been together nineteen years, so I'd have to say it works.
burpin' beardy : )>
Posted by IsoM on May 6, 2002, at 15:07:23
In reply to love is...burping together...?, posted by beardedlady on May 6, 2002, at 15:01:23
Notice I just mentioned burping, not farting (though sometimes they sneak out anyway)?
I agree that love should include feeling comfortable around each other, but not to the point where you can't show common decent manners & care less how they perceive you. A burp isn't too unseemingly. I like the idea of someone caring enough to still make themself attractive for each other & still acting like a gentleman or a lady, not because it's an act but because that's what they really are.
Posted by fiona on May 6, 2002, at 15:13:11
In reply to Re: love is...burping together...? » beardedlady, posted by IsoM on May 6, 2002, at 15:07:23
Posted by Zo on May 6, 2002, at 17:04:30
In reply to Re:being able to cut their toenails (nm), posted by fiona on May 6, 2002, at 15:13:11
Posted by rainbowlight on May 6, 2002, at 18:50:21
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
I think love is feeling that when your loved one has left the room, they have taken half your soul with them. I also believe that it is sticking by someone through thick and thin, even when the other person is sick, jobless, disabled. I think love is putting in hard work so that you can be and give all that you can to the one you love.
And when I question who I love, I always ask myself this: If a moving train was coming barreling down the tracks, would I jump in front of it to save the one I love? If my answer is yes, than it's real. (Silly, simple, but rings true for me!)
Posted by Angel Girl on May 6, 2002, at 21:17:02
In reply to Re: Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by rainbowlight on May 6, 2002, at 18:50:21
I wouldn't know. I've never had it.
Angel Girl
Posted by shar on May 6, 2002, at 23:27:00
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Reading this part of Kid A's post gave me a response to what I think love is: (this is not about Kid A! It's what Kid A's words made me think of in light of my own experiences.)
"And come here baby, put your head on my shoulder and tell me all about your day because I really do want to hear about it and you can call me any time of the day or night and even though that one time I told you I was too tired to talk I promise that next time I'll be there for you, for whatever you need."
Oh, you want to talk now? Well, yeah, I did say I'd be here for you. Go ahead.
Hey, baby...oh, you want to tell me how your day went...it's not about that problem you've been having at work is it? No, no that's ok, tell me anyway.
Hi. oh, well, I really can't talk now. This is a bad time. But it's not that I'm now here for you baby. I'll always be here for you, like I said.
Yeah? Oh. Can I finish watching the TV movie first? I've seen it before, but it's a really good one. I'll call you.
Shit, angel, I really meant to call. I'm sorry, you know I always want to be there for you. Well, a couple of the guys are here right now.
Hmmm, I guess it has been a while since we've been in touch.......I've been having fun just hanging out with the guys. Oh, you were worried about me? Oh, shit, I'm sorry, honey, you know I always want to be there for you.
End of scenario/relationship.
Posted by sid on May 7, 2002, at 0:21:02
In reply to being alone... » sid, posted by IsoM on May 6, 2002, at 14:19:15
Thanks IsoM. I'm not alone... thinking that way!
How are you? I did not connect for a while due to yet another move (back to Mom's for a while) and I got lazy reconnecting the computer. There's one thing I absolutely hate doing alone: packing and moving.
This thing about me preferring to be single: it's really been disrupting lately, how people try to get into my business, are impolite and inconsiderate, just because I am single and they think there's something wrong with me. I'm sometimes amazed at how rude and cruel people are - as if I was some reject. I've lost friends over this and I will lose some more, undoubtedly.
There's a point where I start asking myself why I'm not like everyone else. Then I think: because I'm me, period. Others don't like that answer though. Whatever - it's their loss. I'm great to hang around with and they push me away because of their prejudice, their fears and their shortcomings (like preferring to be in a crummy relationship than being alone because they can't cope with... themselves, I guess). How do I know I'm great to hang around with? I'm often alone and I'm never bored! I entertain myself just fine, no drugs involved! :-)
Good for you for doing the same. I do think I am stronger than most people and also, much freeer (3 e's ?). And happier too. I don't spend my life trying to please others, although I like to do that sometimes, but it's not a 24/7 thing. If I realize I do more for others than they do for me, I can readjust easily, while people who depend on others too much will end up spending all their energy on fueling a relationship that's gone anyway.
I'm thinking of changing docs actually. First, 4 weeks ago, she thought I was borderline, gave me a brochure about a place that could help me, she said. I called there, they were almost insulted that my pdoc didn't call instead - I don't have a pdoc. Then they gave me some info. As it turns out, I would need a firm diagnostic by a pdoc, and they treat "severe" borderline cases only. By severe thay mean: people who attempted suicide at least once and is in danger of doing it again. People who went to prison because of their disorder, people who were hospitalized, etc. I don't correspond to any of that. Than the lady said the number one thing in borderline people is that they can't stand being alone... Hello, doc, I prefer to be alone !
Then last week, she gives me crap because I went to the movies alone and I don't want a boyfriend in my life. I don't go to her for therapy, just for the prescription. I'm all done for now in therapy, I'm fed up with it. I've changed in some ways, and other things are just me - if I change that I might as well get a lobotomy. The fact that she doesn't like my opinions on different things doesn't mean I have a mental disorder or illness. I find her behavior reproachable and rather non-professional. If she ever mentions all this again I'll just tell her it's really none of her business. And I need to find the guts to tell her that lately she's been rude and antagonistic for the heck of it and that I don't appreciate it at all. I was so happy to have been to this movie. It was somewhat cathartic (story of sexual abuse resolved in it, unlike mine which remains unresolved because nobody in my family has ever defended me - the movie is "Monsoon Wedding"). I wanted to tell her that and instead she started giving me a hard time because I never go to the movies with anyone.
Well, thanks again - in my times of doubt it's nice to see I'm not the only "twisted one" around. I'm referring to the fact that nowadays it's cool to be anything (sex-wise) except single and celibate - that's really reproachable, apparently.
- sid
Posted by Manda on May 7, 2002, at 12:27:13
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
Posted by sid on May 7, 2002, at 13:44:43
In reply to Love is... pulling a tick out of his armpit (nm), posted by Manda on May 7, 2002, at 12:27:13
Posted by Zo on May 7, 2002, at 21:18:17
In reply to Love is... pulling a tick out of his armpit (nm), posted by Manda on May 7, 2002, at 12:27:13
Posted by cmcdougall on May 8, 2002, at 19:41:55
In reply to Anyone. explain to me what you think love is....., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 6, 2002, at 12:15:30
"we come to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly".
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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