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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:06:20
ok now i think i may have made my whole life up. I have posted about my old roomates and how they keep hurting me. well is it in my head. Am i the equivalent to the CIA is after me? Am i making up that my roomates are purposely doing this to me? A mutual friend of ours tells me that i am only doing this for attention and its partly my fault for talking about my depression so much. after that conversation i tried hanging myself with a cable wire. but thewood wouldnt hold me. anybody know where i can get cyanide pills. (half kidding)
Posted by Lou Pilder on March 20, 2002, at 14:38:22
In reply to CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:06:20
LiLi80'
I am taking your suicide attempt seriously unless you respond to the contrary.
Please respond.
Lou
Posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:39:50
In reply to Re: CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts » LiLi80, posted by Lou Pilder on March 20, 2002, at 14:38:22
i take it seriously but it doesnt mean anything
Posted by ELA on March 20, 2002, at 14:41:57
In reply to CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:06:20
Don't listen to what this mutual friend said to you. Whether you made it up or not, if it causes you pain then it's a valid thing and you need to talk about it. No-one here is going to judge you or think less of you as most of us have probably done the same thing at times in the past, I know I have.
Please don't try suicide again. I know it's rich coming from me in the pit of despair I'm currently in but there's always a better alternative. This board is one of them. The people here are great, they understand and they can help just by being non-judgemental listeners (readers).
I hope things get better for you and remember it's what you feel that counts. Good luck and please look after yourself.
Emma.x
Posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:48:39
In reply to CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:06:20
i will be suicidal until i get it right, i am not dilussional and think my life will suddenly get better or that it takes time, my socalled wont come back my exbf ignores me still, the school or those bitches wont admit what they are doing. and no one gets why i dont want to take medication anymore. (hello its not working) my insurance co says they will give me DBT, then the DBT person says its her personal choice for me to give up the only therapist that i like so that she can get paid twice for only doing DBT, when she will tell the insurance that she is also my therapist. but she wont let me talk about anything but DBT therefore aall my problems are not getting dealt with. life's a bitch then you die.
Posted by Lou Pilder on March 20, 2002, at 15:07:57
In reply to whatever, posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:48:39
LiLi
"untill I get it right" What is it that you must "get right?"
Lou
Posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 15:19:38
In reply to Re: whatever » LiLi80, posted by Lou Pilder on March 20, 2002, at 15:07:57
most peopl dont get better they just get poor from paying doctors to treat them. its all about insurance and who can make you feel crazy and look crazy until you actually kill yourself. Nodody tries to help, they just keep pushing til you cant take it anymore. Most attempts arent for attention, they just didnt get it right. Believe it or not its very hard to kill yourself without the right tools. you need something to hang from or the right LD50, which is hard to figure out. and nobody wants to be in more pain than they are in, so gun shot is not an option for me. besides theres that whole what if i live bit in peoples minds. i dont have a facsination with death and an afterlife. I hope there isnt one. I just dont like my life and what keeps happening to me. dont get all but its not worth it. i've heard it before. thats not why i come to this board, i dont come for advice or help. i come to bitch and have company that knows what i am going thru
Posted by Lou Pilder on March 20, 2002, at 15:28:39
In reply to Lou and anybody else, posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 15:19:38
LiLi
Keep telling us. I too have been in the pit of dispair and thought that death would be preffered to life. I know that place. And there are other paths that you can travel on. I am only asking you to seek and perhaps find your way out of your dispair. My path may not be the same path as others and I believe that evryone will be shown their own path. There is a way out of your dispair. Keep telling us.
Lou
Posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 15:31:23
In reply to Re: Lou and anybody else » LiLi80, posted by Lou Pilder on March 20, 2002, at 15:28:39
Posted by Penny on March 20, 2002, at 15:39:24
In reply to Lou and anybody else, posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 15:19:38
Lili,
Wish I could say I don't understand, but I do. Especially right now. So, no advice from me, just understanding...
Penny
Posted by Lou Pilder on March 20, 2002, at 15:40:36
In reply to thanks for your concern (nm) » Lou Pilder, posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 15:31:23
LiLi;
When I started my path to overcomming, the first thing that I had to do was to forgive evryone that had done harm to me. And there were a lot of people in my life that had harmed me. And I wanted revenge against those people. I also realised that I had done harm to people. When I forgave them, then I was forgiven. I did find out later that there is a great justice in the universe and that all vengence will be done. But it was explained to me on my Path that the vengence dooer is God and that I am to leave all vengence to Him. For I was told, "Vengence is mine." says the Lord.
Lou
Posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 15:42:48
In reply to Re: thanks for your concern » LiLi80, posted by Lou Pilder on March 20, 2002, at 15:40:36
Posted by Cass on March 20, 2002, at 17:20:41
In reply to Re: CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts » LiLi80, posted by ELA on March 20, 2002, at 14:41:57
Lil,
Why do you think your roommates are trying to hurt you? It may or may not be paranoia. It's not like we live in a perfect world; people do try to hurt each other. Your suspician may be valid. What is going on? Talking about depression is a very helpful thing to do; if they are burnt out on it, talk to someone else who will listen. Talk and talk. It's good for you. As for the suicide attempt, it sounds very, very serious, and I am very concerned about you. How are you feeling now? Do you have another plan to commit suicide? Keep posting.
Peace to you,
Cass
Posted by trouble on March 20, 2002, at 20:36:19
In reply to CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:06:20
Hey Lilli, I know you're not looking for answers, you're too smart for that, but you are so doggone charming and bratlike that you've got the maternal engine busting my gut.
> ok now i think i may have made my whole life up. I have posted about my old roomates and how they keep hurting me.
well is it in my head. Am i the equivalent to the CIA is after me? Am i making up that my roomates are purposely doing this to me? A mutual friend of ours tells me that i am only doing this for attention and its partly my fault for talking about my depression so much.>> after that conversation i tried hanging
myself with a cable wire.Right here, help me make the connection in the post, what was it in there that caused the suicide attempt?
*Did you feel misunderstood by the bitch? Bitches misunderstand hon, it's their stock in trade, anger is a reasonable response to being misunderstood, anger at them, not yourself.
*Did you feel guilty for seeking attention? Please drop this one into the acid vat of your mind immediately and never give it another thought. Seek attention, Lilli, my god, get all the attention you can, (w/out ending up in prison of course)
*Was the attempt a result of an accumulation of all the family, insurance, b/f, therapy problems? What's happening here is skewed thinking, none of this shit is going to matter a year from now, but when we're feeling so overwhelmed by our current problems that the only answer seems to be to off yourself it's crucial to get on the phone or PBchat and talk to someone, you need another perspective to help you see the light.One last thing, oh dear, this is some of that theoretical bullshit I could get myself pimp-slapped for spewing around here, but no one's forcing anyone to read my psychotic reactions and carburator dung, or whatever it's presently characterized as.
The female-to-female dynamic is riddled w/ unacknowledged landmines up the ASS and one that strikes me is perhaps these girls are penalizing you for your refusal to merge w/ them. Similarity is a huge and IMO hugely fucked up value among females, and they can get viperish in their demands for it. A fun way to assess if you are being consumed by a spider-woman is to reply to her character critiques w/ "This sounds like one of the many differences between you and me," and check the reaction. Let that reaction inform your decision regarding the amount of power yu want to give her. It's up to you. So, how much power are you willing to give this person, Lilli, who NEEDS you to be LIKE HER AS IF SHE WAS THE STANDARD OF NORMALITY? Is she? You want to be like these people? Keep differentiating, girl, militant autonomy is cool and sexy, why, the very definition of sexy IS rebellion, test the theory, dear, see if you can name one sexy person who isn't rebellious, and while yer at it tell the b/f to go fuck himself there are plenty fine men around who find non-merging women the hottest of the hot. Go get 'em, child.
Aunt Bea
Posted by ST on March 24, 2002, at 4:05:08
In reply to CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:06:20
Someone else said this as well, but it doesn't matter if you were "imagining things" or not. You're in pain. And yes, it DOES get better. And meds can work - don't give up on them yet.
Stop trying to kill yourself, dammit! We need your posts!Sarah
Posted by Zo on March 25, 2002, at 5:06:11
In reply to CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:06:20
Posted by Analine on March 25, 2002, at 17:57:08
In reply to CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by LiLi80 on March 20, 2002, at 14:06:20
LiLi,
So many of us (including me) think the world is so much better for you being in it. It sounds disgustingly chirpy, but it is true nonetheless.
The smallest things we do can have such a large affect on others...your posts thread has affected me deeply and we don't even know each other :). Don't you think it's amazing that you can touch another person's life from so far away?
I'm sure I speak for everybody when I say that I care deeply about how you are doing, so stay with us :)
Lots of love,
ana
Posted by IsoM on March 25, 2002, at 19:22:25
In reply to Re: CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by Analine on March 25, 2002, at 17:57:08
It's true that these posts can have a great effect on others & why not? It consists of written words just like books & stories are & people acknowledge that stories & novels can affect them profoundly for good or bad. And those words aren't even written directly to us like this forum does.
Why shouldn't a smaller community of troubled, intelligent, humourous, insightful, varied people who understand better how we feel than most family members, be a strong positive force? Few of us ever plan on meeting the people who's books we read. This is far more interactive than good writers influencing us, even if we never do meet each other face-to-face. And we honestly do care for each other - we have a connection that we don't want broken.
Posted by Penny on March 25, 2002, at 22:39:36
In reply to Re: CIA complex? tried to hang myself, my neck hurts , posted by Analine on March 25, 2002, at 17:57:08
Posted by Zo on March 26, 2002, at 18:29:51
In reply to Re: Our posts affecting others » Analine, posted by IsoM on March 25, 2002, at 19:22:25
This is the end of the thread.
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