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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 18:06:39
This is a question I can't ask many places, but this is a relatively safe anonymous place. For those of you who remember any of my posts, do they sound odd or do I communicate my ideas in an idiosyncratic way?
I actually have a reason for asking. I always have trouble socially. Of course, my appearance is not apparent here, but some of the other mistakes I might be making may be.
I don't think I have the intestinal fortitude for group therapy, but if any of you have any suggestions, I would be appreciative.
Posted by susan C on December 11, 2001, at 18:53:02
In reply to Am I odd?, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 18:06:39
> This is a question I can't ask many places, but this is a relatively safe anonymous place.
Yes, I agree, it is anony-mouse
>For those of you who remember any of my posts, do they sound odd or do I communicate my ideas in an idiosyncratic way?
No, but i will go check and report back in triplicate.
> I actually have a reason for asking. I always have trouble socially. Of course, my appearance is not apparent here, but some of the other mistakes I might be making may be.Again, I will go look and I also recommend a consultation with dr eamer. There maybe a waiting list, so you may need to consult with one of her est em ed collegues, perhaps dr W. Willow mdphdabcxyz or dr k. kat phdmdqrst in the interummm umm
I am only the director of the laboratory mice
> I don't think I have the intestinal fortitude for group therapy,
>but if any of you have any suggestions, I would be appreciative.I do not participate in group activities either...tho beginning to post here is kind of like it, maybe.
You are certainly welcome to come to Open and chat. Evenings are best time to find someone, especially weekends. It is kinda nice, because you can or cannot participate if you want, and no body can see you, and you can take your time to respond, if you want to. It takes a bit to register, but just follow the directions. If you have problems come back here and ask. (the preceeding paragraph was actually seri-mouse)
Senior Lab Mouse with a magnifying glass
sc
Posted by dreamer on December 11, 2001, at 19:12:42
In reply to Am I odd?, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 18:06:39
Can't remember your posts......but I look back at mine sometimes and question my own sanity tis a good mental diary.
Just keep posting with not a worry the men in white coats can't get you here.Can they Bobby(married?)boy...don't worry I have a new doc obbsession:-)
Dr. Eamer oddity specialist
Posted by IsoM on December 11, 2001, at 19:41:12
In reply to Am I odd?, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 18:06:39
I haven't been here or posting long enough to "know" you but I went back & by doing a search, read over lots of your old posts.
To me you sound exceptionally clear. Perhaps what others may consider odd is your clarity of how you feel & your ability to express it. What it means is you're not average (i.e. boring & drab). Here's a quote from one post of yours:
"I have the feeling that the best parts of who I am come from the same personality characteristics that make me over-anxious and too easily stimulated. I am not saying that anxiety causes me to be a better person, just that as with many people, my best qualities are the flip side of my worst qualities."So many people can't even say what their characteristics are, let alone define any as positive or negative. The difference you may feel probably has more to do with the family & friends around you. They may be wonderful people, but some people despite some very sweet qualities have persoanlities so shallow that just scratching their surface & you've gone as deep as you can.
Your personality, I'd guess, goes much, much deeper. They're out of their depths with you.
An Extra: my oldest son has always had problems & never fit among his peers. He was always thought quite odd. He's now a computer programmer & the others at his work place are unusually bright people with a wide range of interests. He's now found others who are like him & he fits in & is so happy.
********************************************************************************************
> This is a question I can't ask many places, but this is a relatively safe anonymous place. For those of you who remember any of my posts, do they sound odd or do I communicate my ideas in an idiosyncratic way?
> I actually have a reason for asking. I always have trouble socially. Of course, my appearance is not apparent here, but some of the other mistakes I might be making may be.
> I don't think I have the intestinal fortitude for group therapy, but if any of you have any suggestions, I would be appreciative.
Posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 20:12:49
In reply to Re: Am I odd? » Dinah, posted by IsoM on December 11, 2001, at 19:41:12
Thanks for going to the trouble to look up my posts, IsoM.
My husband tells me all the time that I am odd, as in fact do relative strangers in Sunday School, etc. And my therapist has implied it by giving information to my old pdoc who described me as schizotypal.
I don't know if it bothers me to be considered odd. Maybe it does sometimes. I was just wondering if the assessment was accurate and if so how obvious it is - would someone be able to tell right away or would they need to know me a while?
Thanks again.
Posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 20:17:45
In reply to Re: What an odd question, posted by dreamer on December 11, 2001, at 19:12:42
I know it's an odd question. I suppose it is the kind of feedback I would get in group, which is the very reason I would never go to group. It would be very hard to ask that question in person.
Thanks for the suggestion of the Open chat. I signed up, but whether or not my OCD will allow me to participate will depend on the mood of the day. Sometimes it lets me post here, sometimes not.
Posted by dreamer on December 11, 2001, at 20:39:19
In reply to Re: What an odd question - dreamer susan C, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 20:17:45
> I know it's an odd question. I suppose it is the kind of feedback I would get in group, which is the very reason I would never go to group. It would be very hard to ask that question in person.
> Thanks for the suggestion of the Open chat. I signed up, but whether or not my OCD will allow me to participate will depend on the mood of the day. Sometimes it lets me post here, sometimes not.Dinah....sorry I'm stupid , silly today I didn't mean for the thread title to be taken seriously.
I don't think your odd at all(also looked at few threads) maybe odd to the norms who never question themselves or life.
Be yourself . I know being your-self in certain moods and situations isn't comfortable at all.dreamer....reclusive who doesn't fit in anywhere but fits snuggly-well in her shoes.
Posted by mist on December 11, 2001, at 20:47:47
In reply to Re: Am I odd? » IsoM, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 20:12:49
> My husband tells me all the time that I am odd, as in fact do relative strangers in Sunday School, etc. And my therapist has implied it by giving information to my old pdoc who described me as schizotypal.
Dinah,
Have they told you specifically which behaviors or traits of yours they consider "odd?" Have you asked? For example, I'm very shy and often nervous around people, and because of that avoid people a lot. Some think that's strange. They aren't familiar with problems like social anxiety and social phobia (or even personality traits like introversion, it seems).
I know I've read some of your posts before and I don't remember thinking there was anything odd about you. -mist
Posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 20:51:50
In reply to Re: Dinah, posted by dreamer on December 11, 2001, at 20:39:19
Certainly no offense taken.
I know it is a loaded question. In fact I never would have had the courage to answer a question like the one I asked. So thanks for having the courage to respond. (Warm smile)
Posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 21:04:51
In reply to Re: Am I odd? » Dinah, posted by mist on December 11, 2001, at 20:47:47
> Have they told you specifically which behaviors or traits of yours they consider "odd?" Have you asked?
My husband says I use over-elaborate language and arcane expressions so that no one knows what I'm talking about, and that I challenge commonly held beliefs, making people uncomfortable. I sometimes embarass the heck out of him. As best I remember, my therapist has said that I can be both overly literal and overly metaphorical and that I have "constricted affect". I have no idea that I'm being odd at all.
There was an enormously kind woman at church that could say "Dinah, you're weird" and make it sound so warm and accepting. Now that's a gift. She moved and I really miss her.
Posted by susan C on December 11, 2001, at 22:24:19
In reply to Re: Am I odd? » mist, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 21:04:51
> > Have they told you specifically which behaviors or traits of yours they consider "odd?" Have you asked?
>
> My husband says I use over-elaborate language and arcane expressions so that no one knows what I'm talking about, and that I challenge commonly held beliefs, making people uncomfortable. I sometimes embarass the heck out of him. As best I remember, my therapist has said that I can be both overly literal and overly metaphorical and that I have "constricted affect". I have no idea that I'm being odd at all.
> There was an enormously kind woman at church that could say "Dinah, you're weird" and make it sound so warm and accepting. Now that's a gift. She moved and I really miss her.Dinah, I could have written what you wrote above...this is one of the reasons i keep reading PB and PBS and PBO.
(warm hug)
from a furry mouse
sc
Posted by IsoM on December 12, 2001, at 2:20:40
In reply to Re: Am I odd? » IsoM, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 20:12:49
No, no! Dinah, if talking with arcane language & using metaphorical expressions is odd, then there's many great writers & poets that are odd. Sheesh, how boring do people need to be to have others think them normal?
Many have told us that our whole family is odd because we really enjoy out-of-the-usual things. It's just due to our family's reading & culture. We tend to use a much larger vocabulary than most & have far-ranching interests in many & varied fields. I just think most people while good-hearted, are boring. I've learned to be quiet about my opinions of others so no one will think me arrogant instead.
To me, you sound like a very interesting person that would be neat to get to know better. If some others don't think so, that's their disadvantage not yours.
> Thanks for going to the trouble to look up my posts, IsoM.
> My husband tells me all the time that I am odd, as in fact do relative strangers in Sunday School, etc. And my therapist has implied it by giving information to my old pdoc who described me as schizotypal.
> I don't know if it bothers me to be considered odd. Maybe it does sometimes. I was just wondering if the assessment was accurate and if so how obvious it is - would someone be able to tell right away or would they need to know me a while?
> Thanks again.
Posted by Anna Laura on December 12, 2001, at 3:32:47
In reply to Am I odd?, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 18:06:39
> This is a question I can't ask many places, but this is a relatively safe anonymous place. For those of you who remember any of my posts, do they sound odd or do I communicate my ideas in an idiosyncratic way?
> I actually have a reason for asking. I always have trouble socially. Of course, my appearance is not apparent here, but some of the other mistakes I might be making may be.
> I don't think I have the intestinal fortitude for group therapy, but if any of you have any suggestions, I would be appreciative.Dinah, i don't think you're odd AT ALL. Having troubles socially doesn't necessarely implies you're odd. If you may i'll tell you my story .
Since i don't know you i'll talk about my personal experience which might be similar to yours.
I used to have troubles socially also. I used to be a cheerful person when i wasn't depressed, always telling jokes,making people laugh their ass off ; i was a brilliant story teller: people got involved with my anedoctes etc...but i somehow lacked part of social skills which most people would take for granted such as being assertive, that's why i began to feel uncomfortable at one point of the relationship : i could never say "no" or show my anger or disappointment whatsoever. The start up was excellent, i made a good impression at first but people would draw away from me at the end; i couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I felt like someone threw a evil spell on me since i was a small child. My "bad trip ideation" was the following: "people like me at first because they don't know me, but as soon as they find out what's behind the mask, they run away : the reason why they do so it's because deep inside of me i'm pathetic". Besides that, as people found out i never complained and was willing to fit any of their needs, they would often take advantage of the situation unloading their anger and frustration on me.
I didn't really felt like a victim though cause i somehow felt obscurely guilty and responsable for that to happen as i wasn't being honest with them: i would say "don't worry, it's o.k." when i was angry or annoyed: i lacked the nerve to be honest after all;
besides that, i was often self-absorbed, never being able to put myself in to the other peoples' shoes. I thought that fitting people needs was a good thing to do and felt altruistic: i was fooling myself instead, since i couldn't realize i was doing that for myself cause i was afraid to loose approval. Sometimes people would feel deceived; some other times couldn't understand my behaviour and thought i was kind of crazy.
I was putting myself under constant pressure, always striving for approval; i was afraid to loose friends and left alone; besides that, deep inside of me i somehow felt there was something terribly wrong with me: i wasn't like the other people and thought i'd never be. Strangely, i felt uncomfortable and pleased at the same time since deep inside of me i've always felt "special" and different from other people: i often had day dreaming thoughts of omnipotence and revenge, so i thought i was given tit for tat as people rejected me. Shame, confusion, guilt, omnipotence and resentment were roller-coastering, putting me in a severe distress emotional state .
Things grew better as i met a guy i was comfortable with: i felt accepted for the first time in my life; i must say i worke hard on myself before i came accross that guy; a zen motto says approximately: "when the pupil is ready, the teacher shows up".
I finally felt i had nothing to hide and that we could fight and make peace without treathening our relationship, and show the deepest thoughts and feelings, even the bad or silliest ones and still love and respect each other. As i experienced that, i began to function more and more "normally" on the social level. Omnipotence feelings faded out as i was realizing i was a valuable person no matter what: i didn't need to feel special cause i was special. I took more then ten years to feel socially normal, and i'm stil battling with it.
Posted by mair on December 12, 2001, at 7:16:37
In reply to Re: Am I odd? » mist, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 21:04:51
> >
> "My husband says I use over-elaborate language and arcane expressions so that no one knows what I'm talking about,"Maybe you just don't hang around with as literate a crowd as you find here. (-: Frankly I've always thought that you were one of the more articulate clear-thinking people on the Board, and because of that I tend to gravitate to your posts. Why is it that the traits you're describing don't just make you endearingly idiosyncratic, albeit maybe a little harder to get to know
Mair
Posted by Krazy Kat on December 12, 2001, at 8:03:48
In reply to Re: Am I odd?, posted by susan C on December 11, 2001, at 22:24:19
I, too, could have written this. Yes, I think we depressives and manic depressives are odd. Your posts make perfect sense to me, but then I imagine we're somewhat similar.
I loved your post around Halloween about being a knight instead of a princess because they had all the fun. Would some people find that odd? Probably.
I have learned to ask other people a lot about themselves in social situations, and to avoid politics, religion, etc. except with really good friends. For one thing, we tend to be more intelligent than others and that may make some people uncomfortable. (Being bold and bragging for once. ;))
And think how a non-creative person sees a creative one - we must seem loony. "I can feel the air" or "Look at all the pretty colors." ;)
I have found that I do not connect with many people. Sometimes this makes me sad and lonely. But the people I do connect with usually become lifelong friends.
Just be you, and if you're caught in an uncomfortable social situation, I would just be quiet and observe. And tell your husband to lighten up!
- K.
Posted by Krazy Kat on December 12, 2001, at 8:05:28
In reply to Re: Dinah, posted by dreamer on December 11, 2001, at 20:39:19
dreamer:
if your shoes are too tight, then your head will explode...
- kat
p.s. when rather manic the other night, I wrote about you in my journal. hmmm... good things of course.
Posted by Dinah on December 12, 2001, at 9:10:19
In reply to Am I odd?, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 18:06:39
Thank you everyone for the kind words. I needed that. I guess that since we are working on my trying to connect with others in therapy right now, feeling odd bothers me a bit more right now than usual. Plus, in my overly analytical way, I think I'm trying to break down the impediments to my connecting with others into manageable parts. And my therapist only sees my "Dinah with therapist" self, so he has limited usefulness in this regard.
Thanks again,
Dinah
Posted by JohnDoenut on December 12, 2001, at 12:22:48
In reply to Re: Am I odd? Thanks all., posted by Dinah on December 12, 2001, at 9:10:19
I liked Anna Laura's story. Thats so true that at the point you finally find one person to love and accept you as you are, then it makes all the difference in the world in our relationship to other people and the world and how we conduct and percieve ourselves.
Dinah, embrace your "oddness". Surround yourself with people that care about and accept you. Let the others just melt away.
JohnD
Posted by susan C on December 12, 2001, at 16:41:02
In reply to Am I odd?, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2001, at 18:06:39
what wonderful posts you have collected dinah. It got me thinking and i was curious to know what other words people have collected about themselves.
Mouse with labels
Posted by dreamer on December 12, 2001, at 21:40:25
In reply to Re: Dinah » dreamer, posted by Krazy Kat on December 12, 2001, at 8:05:28
> dreamer:
>
> if your shoes are too tight, then your head will explode...
>
> - kat
>
> p.s. when rather manic the other night, I wrote about you in my journal. hmmm... good things of course.
Posted by Krazy Kat on December 12, 2001, at 21:53:26
In reply to Dr. K.K they'll say we're in love :-), posted by dreamer on December 12, 2001, at 21:40:25
And that's just fine. How are you my dear dreamer? I've been on chat for a little while but it's acting up again and threw me off.
Posted by dreamer on December 13, 2001, at 20:02:46
In reply to Re: Dr. K.K they'll say we're in love :-) » dreamer, posted by Krazy Kat on December 12, 2001, at 21:53:26
> And that's just fine. How are you my dear dreamer? I've been on chat for a little while but it's acting up again and threw me off.
Dear K,
Euphoric loved up bigtime wish I could bottle it and share it, I have plenty . MMMmm I now these times don't last but I think maybe this one will cause my life is slowly improving getting help with finding a home from a charity I stumbled across. My flatemates sick of me! spends time with his girlyfriend and I'm left to melt into my own realities.
Depression seems a foreign land that I've no wish to visit and I'm keeping an eye on the tide so as not to drift towards it. Had a big manic surge but managed to stop it before it got dangerous by benzos and messing with med dosage.ENOUGH BOUT ME !!!
How was your holiday , refreshing? How are YOU feeling.
Got to watch out for that centrifugal force in chat , informed doctor Bobbyboy but he and Ivan Goldberg are helping Dr.Eamer fix the temporal lobes by the power of thought....better go I'm switching to silly mode.Lovables..dreamer
Posted by jay on December 15, 2001, at 11:28:18
In reply to Re: What an odd question, posted by dreamer on December 11, 2001, at 19:12:42
Posted by IsoM on December 15, 2001, at 14:50:30
In reply to Isn't itoddtoaskanoddquestionaboutbeingodd?:-) (nm) » dreamer, posted by jay on December 15, 2001, at 11:28:18
Not at all!! Don't you think it odder not to ask a question about being so-called normal??? :)
Posted by dreamer on December 15, 2001, at 15:38:00
In reply to Re: Isn't itoddtoaskanoddquestionaboutbeingodd?:-) » jay, posted by IsoM on December 15, 2001, at 14:50:30
Does anyone else speak frukkit?
It's a lovely fruity language kinda rolls off the tongue with a crisp woody flavour and aaaahhhh subtle hint of cherry blossom.Sorry folks this crazy mood could go on and on and on .....Me a fine eggzample to all as to what happenz when you ain't stabilised or pasturised, take yer pick.
äÐÅÀÌÅÐ
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