![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 20:38:52
can't say that I'm pouting in the corner again, just sitting here with that dumb look on my face. You know the one where everything is kinda ... numb, I guess is the word. I really don't know.
Anyway I need a ton of good laughs so that my face doesn't crack or fall off.
Please!!!
Willow
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on July 29, 2001, at 21:14:27
In reply to Could use some humour ..., posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 20:38:52
> can't say that I'm pouting in the corner again, just sitting here with that dumb look on my face. You know the one where everything is kinda ... numb, I guess is the word. I really don't know.
>
> Anyway I need a ton of good laughs so that my face doesn't crack or fall off.
>
> Please!!!
> WillowHi Willow,
Well, I'll try this one out on you. You know
Al Gore, the great environmentalist. Well
one day he was trekking through the great
Northwest with about 5 other people when
he got lost. They sent out a rescue party
who searched for him for 8 days. When they
finally found him, they noticed that he
had been eating some spotted owl. Nobody
prosecuted him for this. After a few days
back in Washington, some reporter came up
to him and said, "Hey, Mr. Gore!". "Yep",
said Gore. "Can you tell me what spotted
owl tastes like?" "Well,", Gore said, "let
me see......have you ever tried bald eagle?"Let me know if you thought that was funny.
Glenn
Posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 21:51:54
In reply to Re: Could use some humour ... » Willow, posted by Glenn Fagelson on July 29, 2001, at 21:14:27
I think I'll need about two hours worth of laughs.
Here's one I don't know if I've shared it before: Why should a woman get married and make one man miserable for the rest of his life, when she can stay single and make a lot of men happy?
Corny I guess, but it suits the mood I'm in.
Willow
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on July 29, 2001, at 22:29:35
In reply to Keep them coming ...., posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 21:51:54
> I think I'll need about two hours worth of laughs.
>
> Here's one I don't know if I've shared it before: Why should a woman get married and make one man miserable for the rest of his life, when she can stay single and make a lot of men happy?
>
> Corny I guess, but it suits the mood I'm in.
>
> WillowYes,I do understand, Willow!
Did you hear the one about
the penquin and the magician? Everytime the
magician went through his act, the penquin
would tell the audience all the magician's
secrets. This infuriated the magician. One
day, they were both on a boat performing
for an audience when the boat crashed and
split into pieces. The magician and the
penquin managed to float to an island; they
didn't talk to each other for 4 days. Then,
all of a sudden, the penquin said, "Okay,..
what did you do with the boat?".Glenn
Posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 22:30:37
In reply to Keep them coming ...., posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 21:51:54
I'm not sure if it's funny, but here goes:
http://toronto.globaltv.com/ca/news/stories/news-89240620010727-070745.html
Beggar Sues Ontario Over Disability Benefits
Ministry Threatened To Cut Off Benefits After Learning Man Also Begged On Street For Spare Change
OTTAWA, 8:52 a.m. EDT July 27, 2001 --By Michael Petrou, The Ottawa Citizen
David Coffey, the Ottawa man who faces the loss of his disability pension because he begs for change on the streets, has hired lawyers and is preparing to sue the provincial government.
Yesterday the Citizen reported the Ministry of Community and Social Services threatened to cut off Coffey's payments after it found out he makes between $20 and $100 a day begging.
Officials sent Coffey a letter and demanded his bank statements and a record of his begging income for the last three years.
They ordered him to bring these records to a meeting and warned: "If you do not attend and do not call, your Income Support may be suspended."
At the time, Coffey threatened to retain a lawyer. Yesterday he made good on the threat. Coffey has hired Sara Karges and Edward Masters, lawyers at the Ottawa firm, Burke-Robertson.
"What I'm going to say is I would like to sue them for megabucks," Coffey said.
Masters said he has not spoken with Coffey about the possibility of suing the province, but said his goal is to ensure Coffey keeps his disability payments, which he receives because he has epilepsy.
"I see him out on the street all the time. He's a very pleasant guy," Masters said. "I figured here's an opportunity to take what I already know to help someone who seems to be in a jam."
Masters said Coffey's legal costs will be covered by Legal Aid Ontario.
He said he's confident Coffey's disability payments will not be cut off.
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on July 29, 2001, at 22:37:10
In reply to Here's one ..., posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 22:30:37
> I'm not sure if it's funny, but here goes:
>
> http://toronto.globaltv.com/ca/news/stories/news-89240620010727-070745.html
>
> Beggar Sues Ontario Over Disability Benefits
> Ministry Threatened To Cut Off Benefits After Learning Man Also Begged On Street For Spare Change
> OTTAWA, 8:52 a.m. EDT July 27, 2001 --
>
> By Michael Petrou, The Ottawa Citizen
>
> David Coffey, the Ottawa man who faces the loss of his disability pension because he begs for change on the streets, has hired lawyers and is preparing to sue the provincial government.
>
> Yesterday the Citizen reported the Ministry of Community and Social Services threatened to cut off Coffey's payments after it found out he makes between $20 and $100 a day begging.
>
> Officials sent Coffey a letter and demanded his bank statements and a record of his begging income for the last three years.
>
> They ordered him to bring these records to a meeting and warned: "If you do not attend and do not call, your Income Support may be suspended."
>
> At the time, Coffey threatened to retain a lawyer. Yesterday he made good on the threat. Coffey has hired Sara Karges and Edward Masters, lawyers at the Ottawa firm, Burke-Robertson.
>
> "What I'm going to say is I would like to sue them for megabucks," Coffey said.
>
> Masters said he has not spoken with Coffey about the possibility of suing the province, but said his goal is to ensure Coffey keeps his disability payments, which he receives because he has epilepsy.
>
> "I see him out on the street all the time. He's a very pleasant guy," Masters said. "I figured here's an opportunity to take what I already know to help someone who seems to be in a jam."
>
> Masters said Coffey's legal costs will be covered by Legal Aid Ontario.
>
> He said he's confident Coffey's disability payments will not be cut off.That is funny!
Posted by mila on July 29, 2001, at 22:38:57
In reply to Keep them coming ...., posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 21:51:54
The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it - sometimes three.
Alexandre Dumas
Posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 22:44:42
In reply to Re: Keep them coming ...., posted by mila on July 29, 2001, at 22:38:57
Thanks guys! I'm still a little teary eyed, but I guess I should try to get some sleep.
Tired Weeping Willow
Posted by sar on July 29, 2001, at 22:52:10
In reply to Re: Keep them coming ...., posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 22:44:42
www.theonion.com
they archive, so it's many hours of entertainment.
i read it in the morning and it makes me howl so much my parents think that i'm still drunk.
hugs,
sar
Posted by kazoo on July 30, 2001, at 1:01:35
In reply to Could use some humour ..., posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 20:38:52
> Anyway I need a ton of good laughs ...
These have been kicking around for a while, but in case you haven't seen them, have a laugh on me, my dear :-)
Proverbs
********
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 15:21:18
In reply to Re: Could use some humour ... or humor » Willow, posted by kazoo on July 30, 2001, at 1:01:35
Kazoo, my dearest
I thought I would never hear this endearment from you again.
Friendship entails both give and take, why do you never answer my questions???
NYC, does this mean New York City? ...are you a New Yorker?
Your (one and only?) Wood Sprite
Whispering Willowps where did you learn to spell
Posted by Wendy B. on July 30, 2001, at 20:35:25
In reply to humm or, posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 15:21:18
> Kazoo, my dearest
>
> I thought I would never hear this endearment from you again.
>
> Friendship entails both give and take, why do you never answer my questions???
>
> NYC, does this mean New York City? ...are you a New Yorker?
>
> Your (one and only?) Wood Sprite
> Whispering Willow
>
> ps where did you learn to spell
< ------------------------- >
Willow -You're a VERY bad girl for flirting with the Kazz so brazenly out here in babble-land...
********Joke:
"What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess and an Italian American Princess?"
"Uhhh.... I dunno... What IS the difference?"
"With the Jewish American Princess, the jewelery is real but the orgasms are fake..."
(Ba dum dum...)
****
I can't tell jokes well, does this translate?
I was told this one by a guy who wanted to go to bed with me basically the first night I met him, at a bar... He knew, of course, that I was an Italian American Princess! Va va voom...!
Oh, errr... We didn't end up "doing it"...
Savin' the va vooms for the real thing, when the real thing comes along, IF it does.
xoxo to everybody,
Wendy
PS: Opinions in this e-mail do not necessarily represent those of the Management.
PPS: Sorry to all you jewish amer. princesses out there... it's just a joke...
Posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 21:11:07
In reply to Re: humm or » Willow, posted by Wendy B. on July 30, 2001, at 20:35:25
> You're a VERY bad girl for flirting with the Kazz so brazenly out here in babble-land...
I've blocked two hours on the couch to discuss this obsessive compulsion. I can't help myself, it feels toooo gooooood!
An excellent joke!
Posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 22:03:55
In reply to Re: humm or, posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 21:11:07
worse.
Highest Bidder Will Name Child
Parents Allowing Corporate Bidder To Name Child
NEW YORK, 7:45 p.m. EDT July 26, 2001 -- How much is your child's name worth?
NewsChannel5 reports that a New York couple hopes to get $500,000 for their baby's name.
They're allowing the highest corporate bidder on eBay to name their child.
The baby could be named "Pepsi" or "Frito" or the name of many other products from a manufacturer willing to pay the couple's asking price.
The parents said that they do have some standards though.
They won't let their baby boy be named after cigarettes or guns.
http://toronto.globaltv.com/sh/technology/stories/national-technology-89111420010726-130751.html
Posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 22:05:07
In reply to For all those who think their parents are the ..., posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 22:03:55
> worse.
>
> Highest Bidder Will Name Child
> Parents Allowing Corporate Bidder To Name Child
>
>
> NEW YORK, 7:45 p.m. EDT July 26, 2001 -- How much is your child's name worth?
>
>
>
> NewsChannel5 reports that a New York couple hopes to get $500,000 for their baby's name.
>
> They're allowing the highest corporate bidder on eBay to name their child.
>
> The baby could be named "Pepsi" or "Frito" or the name of many other products from a manufacturer willing to pay the couple's asking price.
>
> The parents said that they do have some standards though.
>
> They won't let their baby boy be named after cigarettes or guns.
>
> http://toronto.globaltv.com/sh/technology/stories/national-technology-89111420010726-130751.html
Posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 22:11:13
In reply to Kazoo you short of money! Look up ^^ (np), posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 22:05:07
The mummies appear to have been children sacrificed to the gods and buried "in full ceremonial garb with lots of artifacts, a high honour," McKenney said.
For the whole story:
http://toronto.globaltv.com/ca/technology/stories/technology-88784420010724-190722.html
Posted by kazoo on July 31, 2001, at 0:30:34
In reply to humm or, posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 15:21:18
> Kazoo, my dearest
>
> I thought I would never hear this endearment from you again.
>
> Friendship entails both give and take, why do you never answer my questions???
>
> NYC, does this mean New York City? ...are you a New Yorker?
>
> Your (one and only?) Wood Sprite
> Whispering Willow
>
> ps where did you learn to spell^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Who? Me?
Peaches and Cream, my dear ...
kazooeroni
Posted by kazoo on July 31, 2001, at 0:35:32
In reply to For all those who think their parents are the ..., posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 22:03:55
> Highest Bidder Will Name Child
> Parents Allowing Corporate Bidder To Name Child^^^^^^^^^^^
This is the worse form of child abuse I have ever seen, and affirms the need for retroactive abortions, starting with the parents.
This has got to be a joke of some kind.Did someone say "exploitation"?
Horrible, horrible ...
kazoots
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