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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AKC on July 15, 2001, at 16:27:02
I continue to do well. In fact, from an understanding point, I have had one of the most productive weeks ever, demonstrated to some extent by my many posts on this page. I would like to share a little more of my personal insights, if you would not mind.
I think I pointed out in a earlier post on this concept of taking blame for what happened as a child. As I have discussed this with a close friend, I have decided that there are three basic roles a child might play -- taking blame for what happens around them as a child, trying to fix what happens around them as a child, or just not fitting in at all as a child. I am in that last category.
The more I thought about this, I came to realize that there was a specific point, I think I was 12, when I realized I was completely in control (I thought) of my life. I stole some money from my sister. My sister discovered it and went to my mother. My mother confronted me - of course, I denied it. My dad was out of town - my mom did nothing more until he returned. He confronted me, I continued to deny it. He yelled, threatened me with my life, etc., etc. Finally, I admitted it. I got one of the worse beatings I ever received - not for stealing, but for lying.
Now from that I took a life long lesson - I was stupid - I got caught - who else in the house would have stole the money (my brothers no longer lived there). And from that point on, any time I got "caught," I was to blame - even when it was really not my fault. For instance, with my depression and anxiety. Or my weight gain, or any of the many struggles I have had. I have been on this quest for absolute perfection - and I think I can trace it back to that moment. This truly has been an ahah moment for me. I'll see what my therapist thinks tomorrow.
For of course, I want to figure out why I can't get it right, right now. Why is it so hard to eat properly and not too much? I know all the "rules" for eating - you know that stuff about eating your fruits and vegetables and not too many fatty things. And getting enough exercise and plenty of sleep and drinking enough water and not too much caffeine (my elixer of life is Diet Dr. Pepper!). And not watching too much tv. And following my budget and calling my mother and saying my pleases and thank yous. And it goes on and on and on. I still have these rigid rules I want to live by. How do I work to those things that can make my life better (just from a health perspective - take the excessive weight - I am about 100 pounds overweight) and not be living under a life that must be perfect?
So while I am having an ahah moment, I still have a long way to go.
Thanks for letting me share.
Your resident hounddog.
Posted by lissa on July 15, 2001, at 18:18:21
In reply to Other than fatigue (and a little mental dullness), posted by AKC on July 15, 2001, at 16:27:02
> For of course, I want to figure out why I can't get it right, right now. Why is it so hard to eat properly and not too much? I know all the "rules" for eating - you know that stuff about eating your fruits and vegetables and not too many fatty things. And getting enough exercise and plenty of sleep and drinking enough water and not too much caffeine (my elixer of life is Diet Dr. Pepper!). And not watching too much tv. And following my budget and calling my mother and saying my pleases and thank yous. And it goes on and on and on. I still have these rigid rules I want to live by. How do I work to those things that can make my life better (just from a health perspective - take the excessive weight - I am about 100 pounds overweight) and not be living under a life that must be perfect?um, I dunno. I can say the sorts of stuff I did. Bought doughnuts, neglected to call my family, glared instead of saying thank you, gave people a piece of my mind, wore garish clothing, dyed my hair odd colors ... and no one really noticed. No one thought I was a pig with the occasional coffee and a doughnut. If I earned an odd look or two, I smiled widely. With weight, I am young so I say easy come, easy go. As people get older, I know it can get harder. But, indulge. Go nuts. Have your fun. Then go on your diet or whatever.
> Your resident hounddog.you ain't nothin' but a hounddog
cryin' all the time ...
well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
so ... well, I don't care if you can catch rabbits (and no brownie points with me if you drink dr. pepper or call your momma).
Posted by susan C on July 15, 2001, at 19:55:44
In reply to Re: Other than fatigue (and a little mental dullness), posted by lissa on July 15, 2001, at 18:18:21
>
> > For of course, I want to figure out why I can't get it right, right now. Why is it so hard to eat properly and not too much? I know all the "rules" for eating - you know that stuff about eating your fruits and vegetables and not too many fatty things. And getting enough exercise and plenty of sleep and drinking enough water and not too much caffeine (my elixer of life is Diet Dr. Pepper!). And not watching too much tv. And following my budget and calling my mother and saying my pleases and thank yous. And it goes on and on and on. I still have these rigid rules I want to live by. How do I work to those things that can make my life better (just from a health perspective - take the excessive weight - I am about 100 pounds overweight) and not be living under a life that must be perfect?
>
> um, I dunno. I can say the sorts of stuff I did. Bought doughnuts, neglected to call my family, glared instead of saying thank you, gave people a piece of my mind, wore garish clothing, dyed my hair odd colors ... and no one really noticed. No one thought I was a pig with the occasional coffee and a doughnut. If I earned an odd look or two, I smiled widely. With weight, I am young so I say easy come, easy go. As people get older, I know it can get harder. But, indulge. Go nuts. Have your fun. Then go on your diet or whatever.
>
>
> > Your resident hounddog.
>
> you ain't nothin' but a hounddog
> cryin' all the time ...
> well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
> so ... well, I don't care if you can catch rabbits (and no brownie points with me if you drink dr. pepper or call your momma).AKC American Kennel Club? lol. That is a good one, did I get it right?
Posted by AKC on July 15, 2001, at 21:22:14
In reply to Re: Other than fatigue (and a little mental dullness), posted by susan C on July 15, 2001, at 19:55:44
>
> AKC American Kennel Club? lol. That is a good one, did I get it right?People are always assuming that AKC stands for that - it is actually my initials - but I figure, what the hell - I love dogs - own two - so I can just be a hound dog!
Posted by AKC on July 15, 2001, at 21:23:50
In reply to Re: Other than fatigue (and a little mental dullness), posted by lissa on July 15, 2001, at 18:18:21
> wore garish clothing, dyed my hair odd colors .. and no one really noticed.
I would only notice to say more power to you.
Posted by susan C on July 15, 2001, at 22:43:47
In reply to Hound dogs and all » susan C, posted by AKC on July 15, 2001, at 21:22:14
> >
> > AKC American Kennel Club? lol. That is a good one, did I get it right?
>
> People are always assuming that AKC stands for that - it is actually my initials - but I figure, what the hell - I love dogs - own two - so I can just be a hound dog!I realized my initials say sicl sickl cycle...
Posted by Willow on July 15, 2001, at 23:15:33
In reply to Other than fatigue (and a little mental dullness), posted by AKC on July 15, 2001, at 16:27:02
Let me first state that the first and only psychiatrist I've seen said that I had no insight. So if my comments are way off base I have a legit excuse.
Perhaps AK it's your way of having some control. Like saying up yours to others trying to control your life, by others I don't neccessarily mean just people but also things like appointments etc. Does this make any sense?
My psychologist is big on anxiety, so perhaps for this reason now I like to blame everything on anxiety. Check out some web-sites on GAD, gerneralized anxiety disorder. It can cause the fatigue and difficulty concentrating, plus other things.
And then my thinking without any interference from professionals is that we're all different. I too like dogs. They all have different personalities. Some really enjoy food, you can't keep the dish full all day or they'll overeat, so with them you give measured amounts at regular intervals. Then you have ones like me running around too busy running around in circles that they can't be bothered to eat. Which dog is normal? What is normal?
Reminds me of my grandmother. She was complaining about someone. I don't know if it was their clothes or a particular mannerism. My answer, imagine how boring this world would be if we were all the same!
Regarding the weight, it may be something you will be challenged by all your life. Just keep the neccesities in the house. None of the empty calories. And most importantly don't let it rule you.
BEST WISHES
Willowps hound dogs are good friends. easygoing and always looking for fun. in my youth i probably looked like a terrier, but now i coloured my hair with miss clariol and turned into a tramp
This is the end of the thread.
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