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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 59. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rzip on February 9, 2001, at 23:24:03
Dr. Bob,
I noticed a dressing trend among psychiatrists...they usually like to wear a dark or light blue shirt with an accompanying tie. Why is that?
- Rzip
Posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 0:23:32
In reply to Dr. Bob: Why do psychiatrists wear blue shirts?, posted by Rzip on February 9, 2001, at 23:24:03
R Zip
You've got the short and sweet down pat!
Your friend
Willow
Posted by pat123 on February 10, 2001, at 1:31:09
In reply to Dr. Bob: Why do psychiatrists wear blue shirts?, posted by Rzip on February 9, 2001, at 23:24:03
You asked the question "why don't most of you take me seriously ?"; if this post is like the others I can see why. There is no logic here. Given that there are hundreds of thousands of psychiatrists
there is no way you have seen enough to spot a trend. Blue is a very common color, and goes with everything.pat
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 10, 2001, at 2:17:14
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob: Why do psychiatrists wear blue shirts, posted by pat123 on February 10, 2001, at 1:31:09
> There is no logic here.
Please, you wouldn't want someone to say there's no logic in your post, would you?
Maybe we wear blue a lot because we deal so much with depression? :-)
Bob
Posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 9:00:47
In reply to Dr. Bob: Why do psychiatrists wear blue shirts?, posted by Rzip on February 9, 2001, at 23:24:03
In the 3 years that I have seen him, my psychiatrist always has worn a white shirt -- short-sleeve in the summer and long-sleve in the winter. Once in awhile he'll wear a white shirt with thin brown stripes. I have never seen him wear a tie or even a sweater when it's cold. I can't imagine how many white shirts he must have...or maybe he only has two and wears one in the summer and one in the winter.
There are two pairs of corduroy trousers (black and green), and otherwise it's chinos (dark brown, black, khaki, olive). There are three pairs of shoes -- two brown and one black. (I know these well because I find myself staring down a lot when he asks me hard questions and I focus on the shoelaces and socks and on the cuffs of the trousers.)
Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 11:50:59
In reply to maybe they don't, posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 9:00:47
> I know these well because I find myself staring down a lot when he asks me hard questions and I focus on the shoelaces and socks and on the cuffs of the trousers.
That is so cool. I usually stare at the bookcase beside my therapist's chair. There is also a large window behind the bookcase, so I like to stare off into the night also. I do not usually look at my therapist's face. Sometimes, I focus on his midsection. I think he wears a white shirt also.
I also think that there is something to the trend of not wearing white in the hospital. Perhaps the psychiatrists do not want patients to associate them with ER doctors. Blue looks very professional, but also casual. Semi-formal? I do think brown is another favorite shirt color for the psychiatrists. I also think that staff who works in crisis situations like to wear T-shirts. That way, the patient would not be able to grab onto any of the staff's cuffings, buttons, etc. when they are being rebellious. The T-shirt concept is actually documented.
- Rzip
Posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 12:52:14
In reply to Free associating, and blanking out » allisonm, posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 11:50:59
I used to have a window until he moved his office. Now in addition to the shoes et al, I also stare at bookcases on two different walls. Usually stare at the bookcases if the question isn't as hard as a shoelace question. I can tell when books have been added or moved from week to week. The carpet also is good, but I tend toward the bookcases. I do look him in the eye, but were I to meet him outside of his office, I might identify him by his shoes more easily than by his face. His face sometimes changes and looks different to me from week to week than what I anticipate (or my idea of what he looks like gets distorted between visits, is probably more accurate).
Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 13:57:24
In reply to Re: Free associating, and blanking out, posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 12:52:14
> His face sometimes changes and looks different to me from week to week than what I anticipate (or my idea of what he looks like gets distorted between visits, is probably more accurate).
I know exactly what you mean. I used to think that my old therapist was threatening and mean between visits. Of course, she wasn't in reality. She was just very straightforward and that scared me. Clients do have a tendency to identify their therapist with someone personal in their life, don't they? I wonder how the therapist deal with all the misplaced negative projection. Maybe they think, thank goodness, I get paid for this abuse? But then, after a while, the therapist will get burnouts. Hmm...how do a therapist last in the professional for so long?
- Rzip
Posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 14:51:28
In reply to Re: Free associating, and blanking out » allisonm, posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 13:57:24
Clients do have a tendency to identify their therapist with someone personal in their life, don't they?
I haven't. Neither he himself nor the distorted view remind me of anyone.
Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 15:09:43
In reply to Re: Free associating, and blanking out, posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 14:51:28
Allisonm,
> I haven't. Neither he himself nor the distorted view remind me of anyone.
I am sorry, I was't referring to you specifically. I was making a generalization. Personally, I do identify my former therapist with an ideal maternal figure. Or just a mentor. But she did not want to meet with me outside session. I wanted to chit chat with her in a cafe. But she had her professional guidelines :-( I was so upset that she couldn't be a friend to me that for a long time, I did not want to see any therapist. So that's my story.
- Rzip
Posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 16:22:03
In reply to Identification » allisonm, posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 15:09:43
my opinion, though it is regarding a psychologist. (I have only met one psychiatrist and I can't remember what he looked like or was wearing, though I do remember that his personality was such that I suspect he needed counselling more than myself.)
My psychologist always wears shirts and sweaters in shades of pink to burgundy. He also wears dark cords and no tie. Perhaps cords are the relaxed professional look?
I do resent it when he acts chummy like we're close friends. Here's my reasoning. He prods for information of a personal nature, stuff that I may have never shared even with my closest friends or family. So of course feelings of friendship are almost assumed; therefor I feel it is his job to keep the relationship at a detached level.
Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 17:17:31
In reply to May I add ..., posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 16:22:03
Willow,
> He also wears dark cords and no tie. Perhaps cords are the relaxed professional look?
What is a cord? I never seen one.
> I do resent it when he acts chummy like we're close friends. Here's my reasoning. He prods for information of a personal nature, stuff that I may have never shared even with my closest friends or family. So of course feelings of friendship are almost assumed; therefor I feel it is his job to keep the relationship at a detached level.
Have you tried bring the resentment issue up in session. I find that the very few times that I have brought up those aspects about my therapist that bother me, it moves the relationship forward a notch. I sort of think of it as crossing a bridge, a step closer to the other side of the rainbow.
- Rzip
Posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 18:13:38
In reply to Re: May I add ... » willow, posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 17:17:31
"What is a cord? I never seen one."
My neck of the woods cords is short for cordorouy pants or a measurement for wood. ;) (And perhaps for the spelling impaired too!)
"Have you tried bring the resentment issue up in session."
Yes, over another issue though. I was upset with him because my family doctor had said my latest flair was depression and he hadn't mentioned it. This actually made me suspicious of him, like what else is he hiding. I figure I'm paying him, so I might as well get the whole truth, right? Now he's gone on a diagnosis kick trying to find one that fits me. If I agree with him I argue that I already knew that what am I paying him for and if I don't agree with him I poke insults at his intelligence. Just at the last session I acknowledged to him that I was aware of the fact that I throw these insults at him and I'm working at not doing it. (Maybe I'm not I get pleasure from it, I'm probably a little kid at heart.) Whenever he makes chummy remarks I throw in a poke if I can think of one.
Regarding why anyone would ever want to do this for a living, I had asked my husband this after a couple of sessions. He replied that it is the challenge. Not for me, I would be weeping or ranting more than the client!
Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 19:01:14
In reply to Re: May I add ..., posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 18:13:38
>Whenever he makes chummy remarks I throw in a poke if I can think of one.
I bet my therapist (former and current) wish that I can be so interactive with them. For me, I have trouble voicing what is bothering me. I would stew on it. I need to get up the courage to verbalize more in session. But it is anxiety provoking and I get scared :-(
> Regarding why anyone would ever want to do this for a living, I had asked my husband this after a couple of sessions. He replied that it is the challenge. Not for me, I would be weeping or ranting more than the client!
The challenge and the geniune vision to reach out and help those in need, probably. Someone once told me that after a while, all a doctor/professional can focus on is the mission to help others. The glory of having a M.D., or a Ph.D wears off. So, I guess at that stage, you either burnout and go work in a company; or you stick around and really start to make a difference.
- Rzip
Posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 20:50:12
In reply to Re: May I add ..., posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 18:13:38
I think my pdoc stays distant when things are going badly with me. He keeps his voice low and quiet. He gets warmer and more friendly when we are really able to talk -- when I'm not in a bad way. Another thing I have noticed is that he has been reacting with more emotion when things happen to me or when people do rotten things, and even voices opinions about whatever it is -- usually sarcastic toward the other party. I am always kind of surprised. He also tends to explain more of where he is going in a conversation when I start questioning his questions instead of just asking me to bear with the line of questioning.
Posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 21:21:48
In reply to Re: May I add ..., posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 20:50:12
"I think my pdoc stays distant when things are going badly with me."
Doesn't that bother you? My best friend plus my husband, both told me I'm suppose to talk about everything to the psych. So finally I open up and tell him about some disturbing thoughts that I have had since a teenager. I can't control when they pop-up. They use to cause me quite a bit of anxiety, but by now I'm so use to it I learn to bide my time and they go away. I wanted some feedback. Nothing! I want to push for an answer but am more scared of how I'll look. I guess that is sortof how RZip feels?
I think when someone is having a hard time they need reassurance, etc.
RZip you have a double whammy! Have you ever tried writing down what you want to talk about prior to a session and then read from it to get started? You won't have to make eye-contact. It may help. You could even imagine you're here with all you cyber-pals chatting. You're not shy with us.
Posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 21:32:48
In reply to I know what you mean, but ..., posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 21:21:48
My pdoc is very nice and reassuring when things are bad. He just isn't as open and warm. I would have a hard time talking about these things, although we seem to have come to a better understanding lately because he wasn't understanding my anger and irritability at certain lines of questioning. We've cleared that up, tho.
Posted by shellie on February 10, 2001, at 21:41:57
In reply to Re: May I add ..., posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 20:50:12
Interesting to hear all this male therapist and pdoc talk. My pdoc and my therapist (PhD) are both women and dress very differently. Probably a lot more variation when looking at how women shrinks dress. My therapist is pretty consistent in her style:blacks with reds, fushias and purples; sweaters or short jackets and skirts in the winter; light short sleeve sweaters and skirts in the summer with more whites and flowers. Always stockings with low heals. And Zrip, almost never blue (which I think has more to do with chosing colors that flatter her, rather than the color blue itself). With my pdoc I never know what to expect from a navy suit to a short tank-like dress and sandels.
I kind of like it that my therapist is consistent--when she looks different (e.g., once a brown checked jacket, or cuts her hair) I get thrown off and have to recover before I start the session.) It's also interesting to me that I never even entertained the thought of picking a male therapist, whereas with docs in general (besides my gyn), I don't care either way. Shellie
Posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 21:57:26
In reply to Re: May I add ..., posted by shellie on February 10, 2001, at 21:41:57
I tried to find a woman psychologist, since I had seen one as a teenager and I just preferred it. I'm uncomfortable discussing sexual issues with a man. (My husbands not a problem and yes he is a man.) And in reality sexuality is a real part of us, just look at all the posts on the other board concerning it!
I'm getting better with being more open. I had a dream where this guy propositioned me, I turned him down and explained it had nothing to do with him but I had other stuff going on. When I woke up I thought "Wow, if I knew it was a dream I would have went for it!"
I'm glad the lines of communication are going good with you Allisonm, because I think I waste alot of time trying to figure out were my psych is coming from.
Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 22:20:04
In reply to Re: May I add ..., posted by allisonm on February 10, 2001, at 20:50:12
> I think my pdoc stays distant when things are going badly with me. He keeps his voice low and quiet. He gets warmer and more friendly when we are really able to talk -- when I'm not in a bad way. Another thing I have noticed is that he has been reacting with more emotion when things happen to me or when people do rotten things, and even voices opinions about whatever it is -- usually sarcastic toward the other party. I am always kind of surprised. He also tends to explain more of where he is going in a conversation when I start questioning his questions instead of just asking me to bear with the line of questioning.
My current therapist nods his head a lot. And he goes "Ahmm", "Ahmm", like so. A lot. He lets me talk...he is really quiet at those moments.
I think he frowns when I talk about pouring candle wax on my hand (in the past). Thank goodness I do not do that any longer. Although I am finding myself burning some candles again. There is still that urge to dip my finger into the hot wax. The pain is kind of satisifying momentarily. But I know from past experience that it is not good to my mental state in the long run.
He kind lets me talk, when I do talk. I always wonder what goes on in his head during those moments. I really like him. He is funny. He's gentle and have a good sense of humor. He's good at dramatizing things, acting things out. He makes me laugh. I love it. Great chemistry between us.
- Rzip
Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 23:02:55
In reply to I know what you mean, but ..., posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 21:21:48
Allisonm,
> Doesn't that bother you? My best friend plus my husband, both told me I'm suppose to talk about everything to the psych. So finally I open up and tell him about some disturbing thoughts that I have had since a teenager. I wanted some feedback. Nothing!
Two thoughts come to my mind:
1) Take it as a complement that your therapist considers you insightful enough to figure things out for yourself. He wants you to figure out solutions and insights on your own, using him as a medium. Makes you wonder why pay him, uh? I guess you pay him for the safe and comfort setting that his session provides. The silence just tells you that he thinks you are quite intelligent :-)
2) The downside could be that he is not ready to make any conclusions. He is still piecing things together. He wants to avoid making wrong interpretations (if he is a good therapist).Personally, I hate the silences also. But I also do not want to push my therapist to make a rushed interpretation. Afterall, I take my therapist's findings/words very seriously to heart.
> I want to push for an answer but am more scared of how I'll look. I guess that is sort of how RZip feels?
I do not really have any pressing thoughts that I want to share. Usually, I do not want to share much. To be truthful, I did not even want to see a therapist. But my former therapist nagged me time and time again. After a while, I felt so bad that my former therapist cared so much, so I called up my current therapist as a gesture of appreciation to her.
Yes, I do have a lot of anxieties. But, I am not intune enough to really understand what I am anxious about. Fortunately, I really get along with my current therapist-- so we'll see. I have my fingers crossed as I venture (again) into the bumpy waters.
> I think when someone is having a hard time they need reassurance, etc.I agree. That's what I imagine my current therapist doing outside session. In my imagination, he comes to my aid, like a white knight in shining armor.
> RZip you have a double whammy!
What you mean?
> Have you ever tried writing down what you want to talk about prior to a session and then read from it to get started?
Thank you Allisonm for mentioning this tactic. You are right that I won't have to make eye-contact. And it certainly did help in the past.
This format worked well with my very first therapist (I am on my third one right now). Right now, I want to push myself to communicate more verbally. I feel comfortable doing that...but then again, no pressing matter has come into my mind right now. We are not there yet. I just got back into weekly sessions last week. I actually called today to cancel Monday's appt. because I am sick. I cough when I talk. I think talking irrates my trachea/bronchi airway. So, I have a physical reason to cancel the appt. I kind of feel bad about it because I actually was looking forward to the Monday session. I feel comfortable with this therapist.
> You're not shy with us.
:-)_________________________________________________
Now, Allisonm...I think that you should definitely bring up your discomfort with the "blankness" of your therapist when you internally so desires him to comfort you. At least let him know that you feel anxiety-provoked by it. Widen the communication channel, you know.Perhaps, it just ain't his style. Does not fit his personality to be gentle and warm. Then, you will feel more reassured knowing that it does not have anything to do with you. Which in turn will allow you to be even more revealing in session. More productive, faster results...cut down the expenses.
- Rzip
Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 23:13:14
In reply to Re: I know what you mean, but ... » willow, posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 23:02:55
> Allisonm,
>
> > Doesn't that bother you? My best friend plus my husband, both told me I'm suppose to talk about everything to the psych. So finally I open up and tell him about some disturbing thoughts that I have had since a teenager. I wanted some feedback. Nothing!
>
> Two thoughts come to my mind:
> 1) Take it as a complement that your therapist considers you insightful enough to figure things out for yourself. He wants you to figure out solutions and insights on your own, using him as a medium. Makes you wonder why pay him, uh? I guess you pay him for the safe and comfort setting that his session provides. The silence just tells you that he thinks you are quite intelligent :-)
> 2) The downside could be that he is not ready to make any conclusions. He is still piecing things together. He wants to avoid making wrong interpretations (if he is a good therapist).
>
> Personally, I hate the silences also. But I also do not want to push my therapist to make a rushed interpretation. Afterall, I take my therapist's findings/words very seriously to heart.
>
> > I want to push for an answer but am more scared of how I'll look. I guess that is sort of how RZip feels?
>
> I do not really have any pressing thoughts that I want to share. Usually, I do not want to share much. To be truthful, I did not even want to see a therapist. But my former therapist nagged me time and time again. After a while, I felt so bad that my former therapist cared so much, so I called up my current therapist as a gesture of appreciation to her.
>
> Yes, I do have a lot of anxieties. But, I am not intune enough to really understand what I am anxious about. Fortunately, I really get along with my current therapist-- so we'll see. I have my fingers crossed as I venture (again) into the bumpy waters.
>
>
> > I think when someone is having a hard time they need reassurance, etc.
>
> I agree. That's what I imagine my current therapist doing outside session. In my imagination, he comes to my aid, like a white knight in shining armor.
>
> > RZip you have a double whammy!
>
> What you mean?
>
> > Have you ever tried writing down what you want to talk about prior to a session and then read from it to get started?
>
> Thank you Allisonm for mentioning this tactic. You are right that I won't have to make eye-contact. And it certainly did help in the past.
>
> This format worked well with my very first therapist (I am on my third one right now). Right now, I want to push myself to communicate more verbally. I feel comfortable doing that...but then again, no pressing matter has come into my mind right now. We are not there yet. I just got back into weekly sessions last week. I actually called today to cancel Monday's appt. because I am sick. I cough when I talk. I think talking irrates my trachea/bronchi airway. So, I have a physical reason to cancel the appt. I kind of feel bad about it because I actually was looking forward to the Monday session. I feel comfortable with this therapist.
>
>
> > You're not shy with us.
> :-)
>
> _________________________________________________
> Now, Allisonm...I think that you should definitely bring up your discomfort with the "blankness" of your therapist when you internally so desires him to comfort you. At least let him know that you feel anxiety-provoked by it. Widen the communication channel, you know.
>
> Perhaps, it just ain't his style. Does not fit his personality to be gentle and warm. Then, you will feel more reassured knowing that it does not have anything to do with you. Which in turn will allow you to be even more revealing in session. More productive, faster results...cut down the expenses.
>
> - Rzip
Posted by willow on February 11, 2001, at 0:39:57
In reply to Sorry Willow, I put the wrong name on the post (np, posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 23:13:14
RZip
By double whammy I meant: You're wanting or needing assistance, but are uncomfortable to talk.
Concerning not wanting to see a therapist right now, this is understandable considering your feelings were hurt previously. And the unknown reason for the anxiety, have you tried any medications for this? I suspect this is a symptom of your body not psychological. Sorta like when you haven't ate for awhile and start to get edgy or whatever.
Okay concerning me being insightful about myself, probably not. I wasn't big on analyzing things. Once I started seeing the psych though I started to analyze everyone's motives. I think it was getting on people's nerves. :) I wonder if anyone else had done this, it was fun for awhile, like a new toy!
It's not that he's not compassionate that's the problem, the problem is that he is. It's almost confusing. I start thinking of him as a friend, though in reality he really isn't. Does that make any sense?
Willow
Posted by pat123 on February 11, 2001, at 0:55:20
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob: Why do psychiatrists wear blue shirts, posted by pat123 on February 10, 2001, at 1:31:09
> You asked the question "why don't most of you take me seriously ?";
Opps ! It seems I took your post too seriously or at face value and missed the humor. I wish I had
just waited till another had posted and then the light bulb would of gone on, I'm sure. I'm really sorry for what I said, Rzip. I took your post in a way that you did not intend.Pat
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 11, 2001, at 7:24:15
In reply to You guys are lucky ..., posted by willow on February 10, 2001, at 21:57:26
You're lucky just to be able to see a psychologist!!! I've azsked to see one, or at least atherapist, and I ahve a 6 month wait at least!!!
Its a 9 month wait for the day hospital!!! great eh!N
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