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Sorry Willow, I put the wrong name on the post (np

Posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 23:13:14

In reply to Re: I know what you mean, but ... » willow, posted by Rzip on February 10, 2001, at 23:02:55

> Allisonm,
>
> > Doesn't that bother you? My best friend plus my husband, both told me I'm suppose to talk about everything to the psych. So finally I open up and tell him about some disturbing thoughts that I have had since a teenager. I wanted some feedback. Nothing!
>
> Two thoughts come to my mind:
> 1) Take it as a complement that your therapist considers you insightful enough to figure things out for yourself. He wants you to figure out solutions and insights on your own, using him as a medium. Makes you wonder why pay him, uh? I guess you pay him for the safe and comfort setting that his session provides. The silence just tells you that he thinks you are quite intelligent :-)
> 2) The downside could be that he is not ready to make any conclusions. He is still piecing things together. He wants to avoid making wrong interpretations (if he is a good therapist).
>
> Personally, I hate the silences also. But I also do not want to push my therapist to make a rushed interpretation. Afterall, I take my therapist's findings/words very seriously to heart.
>
> > I want to push for an answer but am more scared of how I'll look. I guess that is sort of how RZip feels?
>
> I do not really have any pressing thoughts that I want to share. Usually, I do not want to share much. To be truthful, I did not even want to see a therapist. But my former therapist nagged me time and time again. After a while, I felt so bad that my former therapist cared so much, so I called up my current therapist as a gesture of appreciation to her.
>
> Yes, I do have a lot of anxieties. But, I am not intune enough to really understand what I am anxious about. Fortunately, I really get along with my current therapist-- so we'll see. I have my fingers crossed as I venture (again) into the bumpy waters.
>
>
> > I think when someone is having a hard time they need reassurance, etc.
>
> I agree. That's what I imagine my current therapist doing outside session. In my imagination, he comes to my aid, like a white knight in shining armor.
>
> > RZip you have a double whammy!
>
> What you mean?
>
> > Have you ever tried writing down what you want to talk about prior to a session and then read from it to get started?
>
> Thank you Allisonm for mentioning this tactic. You are right that I won't have to make eye-contact. And it certainly did help in the past.
>
> This format worked well with my very first therapist (I am on my third one right now). Right now, I want to push myself to communicate more verbally. I feel comfortable doing that...but then again, no pressing matter has come into my mind right now. We are not there yet. I just got back into weekly sessions last week. I actually called today to cancel Monday's appt. because I am sick. I cough when I talk. I think talking irrates my trachea/bronchi airway. So, I have a physical reason to cancel the appt. I kind of feel bad about it because I actually was looking forward to the Monday session. I feel comfortable with this therapist.
>
>
> > You're not shy with us.
> :-)
>
> _________________________________________________
> Now, Allisonm...I think that you should definitely bring up your discomfort with the "blankness" of your therapist when you internally so desires him to comfort you. At least let him know that you feel anxiety-provoked by it. Widen the communication channel, you know.
>
> Perhaps, it just ain't his style. Does not fit his personality to be gentle and warm. Then, you will feel more reassured knowing that it does not have anything to do with you. Which in turn will allow you to be even more revealing in session. More productive, faster results...cut down the expenses.
>
> - Rzip


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poster:Rzip thread:4509
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