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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 16, 2011, at 19:11:48
New T is fine, but I still don't feel connected to her. She is trying so hard to find tools that will work to get me over this hump.
I tried the energy exercise she gave me last week, but it felt like I was choking. I think my triple warmer doesn't want me to relax. So tonight she decided we'd start learning the EMDR. All I had to do was think of a safe place while she sat next to me and then follow her fingers with my eyes.
The only problem is that my safe place is MY T and her office. And the minute I tried to put myself there, I started crying.
Exercise over. I feel like a total failure.
Posted by annierose on June 16, 2011, at 20:45:48
In reply to I feel like I'm flunking therapy, posted by TherapyGirl on June 16, 2011, at 19:11:48
I like how she keeps trying to reach you in any way that she knows how. Grief is a long process and it's been just over a year (?). Remember, she can never replace your "t", she'll have to find a new place in your heart if you open it just a bit to let her in.
Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2011, at 20:50:38
In reply to I feel like I'm flunking therapy, posted by TherapyGirl on June 16, 2011, at 19:11:48
Besides, what's a failure about that? EMDR and hypnosis both did diddly for me. Crying while imagining your safe place, or feeling choked during an energy exercise is a response, which is more than I had.
So you're succeeding in therapy!
Which isn't to say that this therapy is necessarily a good fit for you. It might or might not be. Connection might or might not come. I can see where seeing someone try really hard might be a bit disconcerting. When you first saw her, I remember that you had a really good feeling about her. Do you think she has perfected her opening at the expense of her ongoing skills? Do you think that you might now know her well enough to be upset that she's not *your* therapist? That kind of connection takes years to develop.
Do you remember your therapy a few months in with her? At that early stage, what sort of feelings did you have about her?
Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2011, at 20:53:55
In reply to Re: I feel like I'm flunking therapy, posted by annierose on June 16, 2011, at 20:45:48
I like Annierose's thoughts on the topic. I like so few mental health professionals that I likely give up way too soon. I disliked T2 immediately, but with T3 it took longer for negative feelings to grow.
I think maybe I have a bad attitude. Pay me no mind.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 16, 2011, at 21:33:33
In reply to Re: I feel like I'm flunking therapy, posted by annierose on June 16, 2011, at 20:45:48
I hope that happens. She said today that she thought I wasn't ready to proceed and that the relationship is the most important part of therapy and that we should just concentrate on that for a while and try again when I trust her more.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 16, 2011, at 21:35:33
In reply to I was told there would be no grading :) » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on June 16, 2011, at 20:50:38
Thanks, Dinah.
You make some good points. I feel bad for her that she's trying so hard and I'm giving her squat. She does seem to understand that I'm really trying.
I like her fine, but how could this 3-month relationship compare to my 25+-year one? Ever? All I really want is for my T to come back and she's not going to do that.
It's not fair to new T and it's really not fair to me because I think I may be able to make some progress here if I can just get over myself. And my T.
Sigh.
This is the end of the thread.
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