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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by catmint on January 27, 2010, at 0:33:17
I don't know why it's gotten so bad. I'm 43, committed to alternative treatments for BP2, tried every med out there, it's been a crazy ride. I'm clean and sober, no tobacco either, just a couple cups of coffee in the morning. I'm burned out on my job, am a single mother of a 17 yr. old.
I get really sad most days, and hopeless, I hate the way I look and feel, am having issues with aging. I have no friends, I tend to be really negative and cynical because that is how I cope. How do people my age deal with life? I can't imaging anyone wanting to have a relationship with me, I'm so down, I sleep too much.
I'm afraid to get back on meds again, I get really manic and self destructive.
I'm having a really bad winter.
Thanks for reading.
Posted by Sigismund on January 27, 2010, at 1:03:38
In reply to anyone have issues with low self-esteem?, posted by catmint on January 27, 2010, at 0:33:17
>How do people my age deal with life? I can't imaging anyone wanting to have a relationship with me, I'm so down, I sleep too much.
I try to turn it into humour....Beckett, Dostoevsky, that sort of thing. I try to find dignity in not being conventionally cheerful. Sometimes I can feel I'm almost part of the human race...well, today was a good day.
Can you find that part of you that finds life and consciousness really objectionable?
Start from there.Yeah, I dunno. It's difficult.
Posted by catmint on January 27, 2010, at 1:19:57
In reply to Re: anyone have issues with low self-esteem?, posted by Sigismund on January 27, 2010, at 1:03:38
Thanks so much for you response. I am intrigued by what you are suggesting. i.e. I can really relate to what you said. Any suggestions in reading material I would love. I really feel alone, like everywhere I look people are either stressed and miserable looking or hopped up and overly cheeful. I unfortuanaly most of the time fall into the former catagory. I have at times feelings of joy but they are VERY short-lived.
I get what you're saying, better to not take oneself too seriously, but I guess my main issue is this mid-life horrible feeling.
Again, thanks, I feel better when someone can relate.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on January 27, 2010, at 10:14:04
In reply to Re: anyone have issues with low self-esteem?, posted by Sigismund on January 27, 2010, at 1:03:38
Hey, sweetie: I am 63! Live is all about choices. What do you want to do/have?
If you could do anything and know you couldn't fail, what would it be?
I won a scholarship at aage 60 (for what I have overcome in my life), and am back in school...written my memoir (Ghost Child to Triumph---from a child with no voice, to someone wo speaks up against injustice), and my book of poetry: Sanctuary of the Soul (poems of anguish, healing, hope, comfort and celebration). Moderator of an abused survivors group, etc., etc......so much more. Why? Because I think we are all here for a purpose and that is to make a difference.
My ultimate goal is to appear on Oprah; been writing for TEN years.
I say all of this (not to depress you, LOL) but to let you know you (we) can do almost anything we want to. Unfortunately, no one is waiting around to push or help us.
I overcame a childhood of poverty, abuse, etc...a 31 marriage of abuse and abuse by a church....I was determined to make something positive come from the ashes.
Have you been in counseling? Do the things you like/love......make friends, etc.
Hugs, Sassy
We should live as every day is our last, because some day it will be. There is a book or article on "Mindfulness"--Living in the moment, etc., it might help.
Posted by Dinah on January 27, 2010, at 10:29:26
In reply to anyone have issues with low self-esteem?, posted by catmint on January 27, 2010, at 0:33:17
I admit that I'm having trouble with approaching fifty. So much so that I've been saying I'm fifty for a couple of years now. I hate the face that looks back in the mirror. And the body. I feel no sense of ownership of it at all.
I also have a lot of social anxiety.
I suppose what comes to mind is what we were taught as parents. Self esteem comes from a sense of self efficacy. I saw a bit of that myself when I built a bookshelf, or soldered for the first time. I figured if I could solder, I could do anything.
Is there something you are good at? Or something you've always wanted to try? Better yet, is it something you can do with a group? It is so much easier to be with others when you have an exterior focus of attention.
If you're too depressed to do those things, maybe there's a different medication or a different combination of medications that could help you some.
Posted by catmint on January 28, 2010, at 0:19:34
In reply to Re: anyone have issues with low self-esteem? » catmint, posted by Dinah on January 27, 2010, at 10:29:26
Sassy, Dinah, thank you so much for your kind words.
>>It is so much easier to be with others when you have an exterior focus of attention.
I have thought about going to a knitting group. I do like to knit, that's about it these days, besides keeping my house clean and tidy, which is really a blessing. I suppose I am domestically inclined and am ok with that, a garden would be great, but for now a little bit of dirt outside my door works.
The sun came out today for the first time in a week and I feel better, although my self image continues to suffer, maybe it's a simple as changing my hair,
I know I succumb to the pressures of society to look a certain way, i wish I didn't and could accept the way I am aging. I don't spend much time with anyone except for my son, and I wish we laughed more, I hope I get out of this funk soon.
Posted by Sigismund on January 28, 2010, at 1:24:14
In reply to anyone have issues with low self-esteem?, posted by catmint on January 27, 2010, at 0:33:17
You don't sound negative and cynical. You sound apologetic. I would suggest you bolster your shy negativity and cynicism with some anger. 43 might be said to be the beginning of the downhill slide, although it would be possible to take that as a comfort, I guess (*joke*!)
So, anyway I was looking for something to help augment (as people do round here) your cynicism and negativity and came across this from EM Cioran
>The "west" - what curse has fallen upon it that at the term of its trajectory it produces only these businessmen, these shopkeepers, these racketeers with their blank stares and atrophied smiles... is it with such vermin as this that a civilization so delicate and so complex must come to an end?
Posted by softheprairie on January 28, 2010, at 7:18:31
In reply to anyone have issues with low self-esteem?, posted by catmint on January 27, 2010, at 0:33:17
This is a little cheesy, but I felt a boost to my self esteem when I took the VIA (stands for "values in action") survey, a free online test that tells you your top character strengths in order. http://www.viacharacter.org/ It is from a pretty recent school of psychological thought that focuses on the good things about you.
They came up with 24 positive characteristics we have in varying degrees, and focus on your top ones. If I recall correctly, my top one was "love of learning," and I was lowest in "optimism," lol, which is not surprising for a depressed person.
I took it ? maybe around 8 months ago. You do have to give them your email, and I have gotten a few (just a few) emails since, from them, trying to get me to sign up for their programs that cost money, but just ignore those. I have been meaning, since I got my results, to make a list of their good traits and put it in alphabetical order, to not make some look more important that others, and hang it up where I can glance at it periodically, to get the warm fuzzy feeling that I do have a good supply of many of those characteristics. But, I keep putting off making that list.P.S. I saw the recent PBS miniseries "This Emotional Life," and it showed this test/survey being used at West Point.
This is the end of the thread.
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