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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Verloren on December 23, 2009, at 12:53:21
I woke up this morning in a good mood. The sun is shining but more importantly, I'm seeing my T tonight and that usually makes my day sunny just by itself.
However, this afternoon I was overcome with a feeling that something bad had happened to her and I would not be able to see her again. I starting crying at the thought of it and how unprepared I am if something did suddenly happen to her. Does anyone else get this way or am I just losing it?
I'm becoming strangely paranoid about this. I even called her office to confirm our appointment time (but really to make sure she was there and okay).
I even worry that she'll get a cold and have to miss an appointment. I worry about her driving in the snow. I even worry that something will happen to her parents and she will need to take time off. It's so selfish, I realize that but I can't stop myself from worrying.
Should I tell her I worry for her safety? I was like this before with my ex. When we first moved in together, I was certain everyday that he would be injured and not come home that evening. My paranoia became too much for him.
I don't know how to stop worrying about her like this since I never conquered these fears before.
-Verloren
Posted by Helana on December 23, 2009, at 13:39:38
In reply to Worried about my T, posted by Verloren on December 23, 2009, at 12:53:21
I would tell your T exactly what you posted so you can discuss it and learn what it means to you. It sounds like you worry about her not being there for you and feeling abandoned/neglected...but you're the expert :) Talk to her about it and I bet it'll help ease the worry/fear...maybe not right away, but talk about it as much as you need to and through time it'll ease the worry/fear.
:)
Posted by blahblahblah on December 23, 2009, at 23:05:52
In reply to Re: Worried about my T, posted by Helana on December 23, 2009, at 13:39:38
i used to have the same feelings with my t. i would worry that she would have something else more important, but with myself i found that it was because i felt guilty talking to her when she may have bad things going on in her life. i only got out of it by her changing and seeming to focus only on her own stuff. i think you should just talk to her bout it. the best thing to do.
Posted by Dinah on December 24, 2009, at 9:00:50
In reply to Worried about my T, posted by Verloren on December 23, 2009, at 12:53:21
It has happened to me with my therapist, and with others. I have OCD, so occasionally I get thoughts like that.
I can't say I've never checked to make sure over the years. I have found excuses to make sure my therapist is alive and well. I also still briefly wonder if my therapist is involved whenever some traffic accident with injuries is reported on the news.
But part of how I handle my fears is to externalize them a bit. I try to think of it as "I am having these thoughts that my therapist is not ok, and urges to check on him." Instead of "I am afraid something's happened to my therapist." Thinking of them as intrusive thoughts and fears helps me separate enough from them to insert some logical thoughts in there. I don't know if that would be helpful for you, but it has been helpful for me.
Also, I don't know if this holds true for you, but for me I've learned that I tend to have these thoughts more often when I'm not feeling secure in the therapeutic relationship. When I fear being abandoned, I tend to cling and worry. For example, this time of year is a time when many therapy clients are temporarily abandoned while therapists go on holiday. My brain would kind of latch onto that, and think of all the ways I could be abandoned, then I'd get those fears.
Posted by Verloren on December 24, 2009, at 15:24:48
In reply to Re: Worried about my T » Verloren, posted by Dinah on December 24, 2009, at 9:00:50
Very good food for thought Dinah. I had not considered that the cause of this worry could actually be my fear that something may cause the therapy relationship to end. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Lately, with everything that has been going on, I am feeling a bit shaky like she might abandon me or think she can't handle my whole suitcase of issues.
I also get especially clingy when I really care for someone and don't want to lose them because I haven't developed coping skills to deal with people exiting my life.
I will try your externalizing technique. I think it would be very helpful.
Thanks for the positive feedback!
-Verloren
Posted by rnny on December 28, 2009, at 16:37:43
In reply to Worried about my T, posted by Verloren on December 23, 2009, at 12:53:21
Yes, tell her. I used to have such feelings about my T that retired. Not fears for her safety but in between sessions bursting into tears that she was going to be retiring. Even while driving!!
This is the end of the thread.
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