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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on December 18, 2009, at 21:13:57
My therapist wasn't at his best, and looked a bit sleepy.
So I surprised him by kneeling on the floor in front of me and saying "Lookit!" (Which is the command I use to my dog to pay attention.)
I'd told him before of the ongoing fantasy, so he was surprised but amused and congratulated me for acting on it. And of course he apologized.
:)
Posted by Dinah on December 18, 2009, at 23:49:27
In reply to I acted on a fantasy in therapy, posted by Dinah on December 18, 2009, at 21:13:57
in front of him, of course.
That must be some sort of freudian slip. I'll have to think on its meaning.
Posted by workinprogress on December 19, 2009, at 3:03:41
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy, posted by Dinah on December 18, 2009, at 23:49:27
Dinah...
First, that is awesome, I love it! I'm so proud of you for just saying what you were thinking... and calling him on it. I'm trying to get better at that- and humor never hurts- but it's hard, humor or not.
As for the slip, I'm not sure, I'm not usually very good at figuring that stuff out. But something did pop into my head. Could be totally off-base. But, if it were ME.... obviously an important distinction, because you aren't me.... Anyway, if it were me I'd think the "me" part could mean that there was some part of me that wasn't "paying attention or connecting. Probably that I was intellectualizing, not paying attention to my feelings- which means people on the receiving end don't engage to the same extent.
As my T would say... feedback (which I wasn't there so it's not really feedback, more speculation) is just feedback. If it fits, great- if it doesn't- throw it away. Only you know.
I do want to hear what you think it means... if anything.
WIP
Posted by Dinah on December 19, 2009, at 8:07:11
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy, posted by workinprogress on December 19, 2009, at 3:03:41
Now you see, that's what my therapist loves about Babble.
I wasn't thinking in that direction at all, but as soon as you said it I realized that you were right.
I'm not letting him off the hook for not being there or anything. But related to my post above, I have been in my head an awful lot, and I noticed myself that the session had become a recitation of the week's events. What suddenly came back to me is that I was not at all connected to *him* and some of the things he said in session had indicated he realized that.
Maybe the impulsive acting out of a fantasy I'd already described to him was my way of getting his focus and my focus recentered.
The fantasy isn't always about telling him to focus on me. Sometimes it's about sitting at his feet and laying my head against his knee. Maybe having him lightly stroke my hair. Obviously that one I won't act out because I'm way too old for my head to be at the proper height. :) And I'm reasonably sure he wouldn't consider it appropriate to stroke my hair.
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 19, 2009, at 19:25:14
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy » workinprogress, posted by Dinah on December 19, 2009, at 8:07:11
That's great, Dinah. I wish I'd have thought of it over this past year when there were so many times I didn't have T's full attention.
You just amaze me with your trust in your T (because it seems to me being able to do that means you trust him a lot) and your ability to see yourself so clearly. Thank you so much for what you bring to Babbleland.
Posted by workinprogress on December 20, 2009, at 1:57:48
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy » workinprogress, posted by Dinah on December 19, 2009, at 8:07:11
Dinah,
Awesome, I'm so glad it fit for you. It's a subject that I've been giving a lot of thought and therapy time to lately, so it was on my mind. I've been worried about my therapist not connecting to me as much- worrying that something in our relationship, how she feels about me has changed. In reality, it's me projecting my fear and/or not connecting to her. We're still sorting through it, but it's been a really fruitful conversation.
And yeah, probably the stroking of the hair wouldn't be appropriate. I have a little fantasy of laying my head in my T's lap in the same way, like a kid would curled up next to you on the couch... complete with hair stroking. I guess there's something really tender and loving about that.
Still super impressed you did it though. Probably was good for both of you!
WIP
> Now you see, that's what my therapist loves about Babble.
>
> I wasn't thinking in that direction at all, but as soon as you said it I realized that you were right.
>
> I'm not letting him off the hook for not being there or anything. But related to my post above, I have been in my head an awful lot, and I noticed myself that the session had become a recitation of the week's events. What suddenly came back to me is that I was not at all connected to *him* and some of the things he said in session had indicated he realized that.
>
> Maybe the impulsive acting out of a fantasy I'd already described to him was my way of getting his focus and my focus recentered.
>
> The fantasy isn't always about telling him to focus on me. Sometimes it's about sitting at his feet and laying my head against his knee. Maybe having him lightly stroke my hair. Obviously that one I won't act out because I'm way too old for my head to be at the proper height. :) And I'm reasonably sure he wouldn't consider it appropriate to stroke my hair.
Posted by Dinah on December 21, 2009, at 22:08:28
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on December 19, 2009, at 19:25:14
It happens too often with my therapist. I blame myself of course. I mean, I know it's his job to stay awake and focused, and it's not my job to be entertaining. But there is the theory then there's the practice.
Was what I did all that unusual?
Posted by Dinah on December 21, 2009, at 22:13:03
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy » Dinah, posted by workinprogress on December 20, 2009, at 1:57:48
I'm guessing the hair stroking works better in fantasies than real life anyway. :)
It sounds as if you're in one of those deepening phases of therapy. I'm glad it's going well.
Posted by workinprogress on December 22, 2009, at 0:29:47
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy » workinprogress, posted by Dinah on December 21, 2009, at 22:13:03
Dinah. Yes, I agree on the fantasy better than reality.
On the second thought.... Yes, I suppose I am- if regressing, being really intense/volatile emotionally, etc, is deepening. Not sure I'd say it's going well. And I wrote a ton here about that and then realized I was hijacking your thread, so I cut it and will start a new one, but would love your input.
xo
WIP> I'm guessing the hair stroking works better in fantasies than real life anyway. :)
>
> It sounds as if you're in one of those deepening phases of therapy. I'm glad it's going well.
Posted by Dinah on December 22, 2009, at 12:14:27
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on December 21, 2009, at 22:08:28
Therapist says it was extraordinary and *did* take a lot of trust.
I told him if I knew that, I'd have never done it.
He said that ignorance was bliss, and that he was glad I did.
Perhaps my lack of understanding of why it was all that unusual reflects something about the level of trust I do feel in my therapy.
Posted by Dinah on December 22, 2009, at 12:17:10
In reply to Re: I acted on a fantasy in therapy » Dinah, posted by workinprogress on December 22, 2009, at 0:29:47
I'm glad you did post about your therapy. :) I will certainly look at it.
Don't worry about thread hijacking with me. Threads used to take all kinds of twists and turns at Babble. Now they tend to stay on track, and I sort of miss the old days.
But I think perhaps I have the minority view on that.
Posted by Dinah on December 22, 2009, at 12:17:51
In reply to Hmmm..., posted by Dinah on December 22, 2009, at 12:14:27
Bold...
He said it was bold, that was the word he used.
I don't think I'd have done it if I thought of it as bold. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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