![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Moonshadow on October 19, 2009, at 20:43:51
So.... Anyone record their therapy sessions and not tell their T?
Posted by BayLeaf on October 19, 2009, at 21:27:35
In reply to Recording session- in secret, posted by Moonshadow on October 19, 2009, at 20:43:51
Wow, never. IMO that would be a violation of the therapeutic relationship. If someone wants a recording, why not ask?
Posted by Dinah on October 19, 2009, at 21:50:18
In reply to Recording session- in secret, posted by Moonshadow on October 19, 2009, at 20:43:51
I've been tempted. But I never have. I guess I was too afraid that it would damage our relationship.
What are the feelings that prompt the desire? Are you wanting to keep a piece of your therapist? Or are you confused about what's happening in session?
What do you think your therapist would say if you asked?
Posted by Moonshadow on October 20, 2009, at 7:27:10
In reply to Re: Recording session- in secret » Moonshadow, posted by Dinah on October 19, 2009, at 21:50:18
I have a hard time remembering the session. I think it would be helpful to have it to listen to, but I'm afraid to ask for fear of sounding creepy. Of course, the idea of doing it secretly sounds creepy as well.
It's definately not about wanting a piece of her. I don't have warm feelings towards her. She's smart, very matter of fact. Not warm. And I'm actually liking that. My old T I would have wanted to record for her voice. This T, I want her wisdom. She gives great insight, but I lose half of it when I walk out the door.
Of course I'm way too chicken to ask to record sessions,, but I think it is a bit too weird to sneak a recorder in my bag.
Posted by Dinah on October 20, 2009, at 8:10:35
In reply to Re: Recording session- in secret » Dinah, posted by Moonshadow on October 20, 2009, at 7:27:10
> She gives great insight, but I lose half of it when I walk out the door.
I can understand where you might not want to start off with asking to record, especially if you haven't been seeing her long enough to be totally comfortable in your relationship.
But maybe you could tell her what you said above, and see what develops in the conversation?
Posted by MAxime on October 20, 2009, at 16:19:50
In reply to Re: Recording session- in secret » Dinah, posted by Moonshadow on October 20, 2009, at 7:27:10
Your reasons for wanted to record the session sound rational and normal. I don't think she would have a problem with it if you told her those reasons.
Posted by moonshadow on October 20, 2009, at 17:36:05
In reply to Re: Recording session- in secret » Moonshadow, posted by MAxime on October 20, 2009, at 16:19:50
Yeah, it would seem easy. Just ask. But I can't bring myself to do it, hence the contemplating doing it in secret. I am afraid of being seen as the 'weird' patient, or she'd try to get to some deep issue about why I want to record her. And really, the reasons are pretty shallow.
I also wonder, is there value in **not** recording it, like the mind will remember what's truly important, and that what I remember is a part of psychotherapy, part of my subconscious?
I'm surprised that no one has done this, or thought about it. I feel kind of weird now. :D
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on October 20, 2009, at 21:55:07
In reply to Re: Recording session- in secret » MAxime, posted by moonshadow on October 20, 2009, at 17:36:05
Don't feel weird for thinking about it--I think similar questions have been asked here before.
BUT, I would strongly caution you against doing it. Imagine how violated your T would feel if she found out. She might even decide that she could no longer work with you. And I think it would be realtively easy to find out--tapes have a tendency to whine, hiss, and click (trust me on this, I have done a lot of recording). Also, if you are concealing the tape, I would think the quality would be poor.
I would suspect that your T would not let you tape--primarily for liability reasons. But, on the other hand, many clients take notes in session. Might that be a good option for you?
Best,
EEP.S. Just re-read this and maybe a high tech digital recorder wouldn't make noise, but still I'd really caution you against it.
Posted by 10derHeart on October 21, 2009, at 0:00:09
In reply to Re: Recording session- in secret » MAxime, posted by moonshadow on October 20, 2009, at 17:36:05
Hi Moonshadow,
I don't have time to elaborate right now, but I will come back and do that as soon as I can manage to... I did want to say you are not that weird. I record all of my sessions. Have been on and off, for several years now. My T. knows and has no problem at all. He knows and appears to understand about therapy amnesia. But after a long time where I didn't record, i did start to record phone sessions (we are geographically separated now) **without** telling him (Lord only knows what I was thinking....too embarrassed to admit I still needed/wannted to...?) Did that for about 3 sessions - then felt so guilty, I did tell him. He was NOT pleased, though we have been together 5 years, and he had agreed to allow it before, and does allow it again now. It was the lack of respect and trust I showed by doing it secretly those few times. This caused a painful incident a couple months back, where he was angry and hurt, too. We got past it, but it sucked and I hate to this day I chose to do that without asking first. Integrity and trust are everything to me, not to mention discussing it and my profuse apologies were soooo uncomfortable for both of us.
I really, really hope you don't do it secretly. She will not likely think you are weird, just for asking. She can always say no, and even that should be a valuable conversation. Anyway...I can expand more, another time.
Posted by jane d on October 21, 2009, at 0:15:49
In reply to Recording session- in secret, posted by Moonshadow on October 19, 2009, at 20:43:51
I do understand your reasons for wanting a recording. I also often forget stuff. The big issue, as already pointed out, is that this would be a huge breech of trust. If my therapist recorded me without permission our relationship would be over. Immediately. Your therapist might feel the same way. So ask. You have nothing to lose by asking.
Also, it's very illegal in some places. You would have to check the laws of your own state to find out whether it's illegal where you are. The terms you are interested in are one party vs two party consent.
Posted by muffled on October 21, 2009, at 21:12:33
In reply to Re: Recording session- in secret, posted by jane d on October 21, 2009, at 0:15:49
I taped once w/old t and she didn't know.
I felt so guilty I had to tell her. She was unhappy.
She never said no, but never said yes either, so i didn't tape.
New T says yes to taping and I think she appreciates why I tape. She herself will ask if I am taping sometimes cuz I am not very present, and she says , well at least you can hear this on your tape if your not hearing it now !
Not all T's will allow taping. I guess for them it feels risky. Also taping is not good for all clients.
At this point it is good for me.
I think taping in secret undermines the honesty that should be there in the theraputic relationship.
Where is the trust? Two way street.
Good luck.
M
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.