![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 38. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 13:50:40
Yeah, I couldn't believe she said that but what he did to me was so wrong. So many things. She said no of it was my fault, it was all his.
Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 13:54:06
In reply to My T says he deserves a little humilation, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 13:50:40
Oh, I forgot who, in case anyone was wondering.... my first T
Posted by LadyBug on February 13, 2009, at 15:58:31
In reply to My T says he deserves a little humilation, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 13:50:40
I'm so glad your T gave you affirmation of how you were treated and how wrong it was.
He's the Slime Dog here!!!!!!!Hugs
LadyBug
Posted by rskontos on February 13, 2009, at 16:13:52
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation » SlugSlimersSoSlided, posted by LadyBug on February 13, 2009, at 15:58:31
SSSS,
I truly hope this new t, can finally help you to understand that your first t, was a slime ball and that you were the innocent. He knew better. I say he needs to walk the plank!!!!
You need to let new T help you re-write your inner dialogue with yourself about that old T. It pains me that you still let him hurt you! Only because it seems hard for you to grasp he is too blame.
But I am thrilled she is willing to call a spade a spade and a slime ball a slime ball. Your other T sort of tipped toed around this didn't he. Now you got really affirmation. (besides us)
((((((((((SSSS)))))))))
rsk
Posted by wittgensteinz on February 13, 2009, at 16:51:11
In reply to My T says he deserves a little humilation, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 13:50:40
It sounds like you got some much needed validation. I think Rsk is right - ex-ex-T is the slime-ball not you - isn't it time to stop blaming yourself and choose a new name?
I hope new T can help you move on and stop letting him hurt you.
Witti
Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 18:17:30
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation, posted by wittgensteinz on February 13, 2009, at 16:51:11
Thanks Witti,
My T is so trying to get me to see I wasn't the one at fault for what he did, she says I have the victim guilt thing going on that is common . She says even if I liked the attention at the time, the kind of attention he was giving me was very unethical. He should have known better than to prey on my vulnerabilities.
I am only about 25% believing her, she says I am carrying way too much of HIS responsibility, I am trying to get to 100%.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 18:20:31
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation, posted by wittgensteinz on February 13, 2009, at 16:51:11
How's this name?
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 18:27:20
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation/SSSS, posted by rskontos on February 13, 2009, at 16:13:52
Hi Rk,
Sometimes YOU sound SO much like my T. lol She almost said exactly what you did, that it is hard to let go the pain he caused me maybe because I am blaming myself for what happened. Plus I got so many warning from here and from many, but I didn't listen to anyone, especially to my own gut feeling.
She talks so much about re-writing my inner dialogue with so many things.
When I read your response this is what comes up from my past, something we talked about in my last session.
Somewhere during my growing up, I saw my mom for what she was, and didn't take on the blame for me getting abused. But with my old T, I am holding on to some of the blame. Did ya see the lightbulb going on? lol
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 18:29:36
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation » SlugSlimersSoSlided, posted by LadyBug on February 13, 2009, at 15:58:31
I am trying to believe my T, it is hard, but she is probably right. Maybe that is why I am hanging on to this so much?
I am glad you are around even if you aren't in therapy, you offer a wealth of info for others around here, and of course your wonderful support!
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 20:42:07
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation » LadyBug, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 18:29:36
Song lyrics that make me think of him now
Kelly Clarkson, "Gone"
"Gone"What you see's not what you get
With you there's just no measurement
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there
Your eyes they sparkle
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain
You washed away the best of me
You don't careYou know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You were wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already goneSometimes shattered
Never open
Nothing matters
When you're broken
That was me whenever I was with you
Always ending
Always over
Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster
I am breaking
That habit
TodayYou know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You were wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already goneThere is nothing you can say
Sorry doesn't cut it, babe
Take the hit and walk away
'Cause I'm gone
Doesn't matter what you do
It's what you did that's hurting you
All I needed was the truth
Now I'm gone*and*
Boots Made For Walking, Nancy Sintra
These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that you�ll never get burnt.
Ha! I just found me a brand new box of matches yeah
and what he know you ain't HAD time to learn.Are you ready boots? Start walkin'!
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 21:28:11
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 20:42:07
"If you died, I wouldn't come to your funeral."
"I am yelling at you because you are not listening to me"
"I don't care about you"
"Let me show you my magic card trick."
"You need to find a boy toy."
"Have an affair with somebody already married, it is better."
"Try mushrooms instead of LSD"
"My wife doesn't do that in bed."
"I'm a better father than a husband."
"I lied to my daughter by telling her that her mom was a virgin when we got married"
"marriage is a crap shoot"
"I have bad breath at night"
"i want to lose 20lbs."
"I don't dance in public because my family makes fun of me"
"I don't sing either in public"
"wanna hear me play stairway to heaven on the guitar"
"Stupid religious people annoy me."
"I like to mess with those religious people that come to my door"
"I smoked a lot of things in college."
"Wanna see me juggle?"
" I will probably have to survive just on social security when I retire"
"wanna see my daughter's picture"
"I smoked pot for a government study."
"I used to be a streaker."
"When streaking,it took away the inhibition with girls, I got to see what they had, and I liked it"
"I used to pick up girl at college with my opera T-shirt"
"I had to leave my alcoholic friends, in order not to become like them"
"I hate those digital prostate exams."
"The *ssh*l* should be a one way only"
" I thought my lack of erections were due to my wife yelling at me and being overweight, but it was due to a lack of testosterone, so now I use cream.
"Wanna see my surgery leg scars."
"Look at my certificates on the wall."
"I like that buzzed feeling from drinking."
"I don't know why when I see a trumpet player,
I always think of you."
"Thanks for telling me to plant a trumpet vine, it
reminds me of you when I water it."
"I make a mean pot of chili."
"Wanna see my childhood photo's"
"You were talking to my best friend at the gym."
"My horniest is not as bad as it used to be."
"I'm tired of eating at Tippecanoe on New Years with my wife."
"When we got horny in college, we just did it, we didn't do oral sex."
" I left my girlfriend like a coward by writing her a letter."
"Wanna see my picture of my old grade school crush?"
"Look at this picture of where I grew up, where I used to play basketball."
"It sucks I can't have a social relationship with you, I don't feel
that way about most of my clients either."
"You are cute."
"I missed you at the gym today."
"Some girls are dumber than a box of rocks."
"I am taking off work for my colonospsy."
"You would like the drugs they give you during a colonospy"
" I don't think of myself as a psychologist at a party, I am just trying to pick up the girl with the big t*ts at the bar"
"My sister had a big bag of pot on the table at home,
when the cops came to my house."
"In high school I always wondered why the girls wouldn't pick me to date."
" I like to show off to the girls on how I knew my way around downtown Chicago"
"I learned how to play , Body and Soul on the piano."
"After my bad trip at the lake, I stopped using LSD."
"If I am dying, I want to have some LSD again."
"My daughter is spending her summer playing beer pong"
"My brother is a untreated alcoholic"
"My brother drives a stupid Jeep"
"Wanna read my brother's book about using EMDR and connecting with dead people?
"My brother used to get really bad athlete's feet"
"My mom used to ream out my dad in therapy"
"My conception was a mistake"
" I used to snoop in my parents bedroom all the time"
"My sister suffers from depression all her life"
"My older sister has the same B-day as you"
"My younger sister didn't want to have anything to do with my kid, but now she wants everyone to pay attention to hers"
"I am an indulgent parent"
"My parents had a horrible marriage"
"wanna see my parents in Life magazine?"
"I think a southern accent is so sexy"
"having your toenails done is so frivolous"
"my wife gets mad when I talk to some women"
"did you see the newspaper article where I was called a local hero?"
"I am cheap"
" I am not a dog person"
"I have a mouse phobia"
"fireworks freak me out"
"I don't have a very good chest, but my legs are good"
"I almost broke my HS record in swimming"
"I am a very good swimmer"
" I know a lot about basketball"
"you can meet me after the Sunburst with a cup of water"
"can I come over for your Polish X-mas dinner"
"I really hate stupid people"
"I am a very good liar"
"some people should die and not have babies to stop their gene pool from multiplying"
"Just put on a movie for the kids and masturbate for a couple of hours in another room"
"men always think of being with another women when they are having sex with their wife"
"Everyone has a sexual hangup"
"We all think about how things would be if we married someone else"
"I don't believe in transference"
Posted by jammerlich on February 13, 2009, at 21:37:42
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation » wittgensteinz, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 18:20:31
I mean, full disclosure and all that jazz. Just curious.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 21:42:55
In reply to Did you tell your T about the Sh*t List Thingy? » HappyChaiTea, posted by jammerlich on February 13, 2009, at 21:37:42
Yes
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 22:35:00
In reply to Did you tell your T about the Sh*t List Thingy? » HappyChaiTea, posted by jammerlich on February 13, 2009, at 21:37:42
My T has read this sh*t list above, why do you ask?
She feels I am justified in defending myself.
Posted by wittgensteinz on February 14, 2009, at 5:29:40
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation » wittgensteinz, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 18:20:31
Now that's much better :) - I hope you don't feel like you have to be happy but I don't get the feeling that calling yourself a 'slug' is being true to yourself (understatement) - just be yourself and be fair to yourself and leave those slugs behind.
Witti
Posted by wittgensteinz on February 14, 2009, at 5:34:52
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation » wittgensteinz, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 18:17:30
I think the desire to be special, to be loved is very strong (innate?) - of course you were vulnerable in your relationship with that man and it's not your fault. It wouldn't have been your fault had you asked him to say those things even or if you'd done your very best to encourage him (please note, I'm not saying you did this) - it's his responsibility to keep boundaries and be professional. You did nothing wrong. Hopefully in time you will believe it and internalise it.
Witti
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 14, 2009, at 8:12:48
In reply to Re: My T says he deserves a little humilation » SlugSlimersSoSlided, posted by wittgensteinz on February 14, 2009, at 5:34:52
Thanks Witti,
I salted those slugs for now. lol I trying hard to believe everyone and my T that what my T did was his fault, his responsibility.
Some people ask me well didn't you need this to feel better about yourself, etc. I have heard it all, and it puts the responsibility on me, like I asked for it. When will the world stop blaming the victim in things? The thing is most victims do blame themselves so when people say comments like this, it just brings even more shame on the victims.
I just wish I didn't feel so much pain, maybe it felt good at the time, but the pain now is not worth it at all. That is why T's shouldn't do these things, there are no short term fixes, they need to be ethical.
Intellectually I get it, but emotionally I am struggling so much to believe it wasn't my fault. I feel we were both adults, blah blah blah, but we were not equal, he was my T.
Sorry for my rambling Witti....
Thank you for your support Witti
Posted by jammerlich on February 14, 2009, at 8:32:03
In reply to Re: Did you tell your T about the Sh*t List Thingy? » jammerlich, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 21:42:55
Is that the "humiliation" of which you spoke? For him and then some? Busy, busy it seems.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 14, 2009, at 9:30:26
In reply to Re: Did you tell your T about the Sh*t List Thingy? » HappyChaiTea, posted by jammerlich on February 14, 2009, at 8:32:03
Thanks for your support Jammer. Don't you remember the good times we had in Chicago, where you taught me to take shots of tequila at that Spanish restaurant and those banana desserts. lol At least "I" didn't feel you up.lol
I don't have a lot of time, but I will defend myself against the sh*tty people in the world who go around and hurt others and myself, I just won't roll over and play dead, and do the poor me thing. If people give me sh*t, I will give it right back to them, more quality sh*t in fact. If they don't like it, then they need to quit giving out servings. So yeah, my T is proud I am holding those accountable for the things they have done. We have talked extensively about this. We talked about unethical stuff T's do, and I am taking a stand against it.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 14, 2009, at 9:44:36
In reply to Re: Did you tell your T about the Sh*t List Thingy? » jammerlich, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 14, 2009, at 9:30:26
Kinda reminds me of an old friend who didn't like her roommate, and sent out a ton of magazines requests in her name. How she felt the pleasure of when her roommate was getting all those bills for magazines she didn't order. Tampering with the US mail and everything and it felt good to her. Yeah, a lot of people like to give people a good dose of their own medicine from time to time, it is those who pretend to be innocent are the ones to watch out for.
Posted by jammerlich on February 15, 2009, at 11:11:41
In reply to Re: Did you tell your T about the Sh*t List Thingy? » jammerlich, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 14, 2009, at 9:30:26
What I meant and what I think you may have inferred seem to be two different things.
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 15, 2009, at 14:41:38
In reply to To Clarify » HappyChaiTea, posted by jammerlich on February 15, 2009, at 11:11:41
I have no idea what you are talking about now or earlier. This thread was about my current T supporting me in seeing that what my 1st T did was wrong, anything other than this, I have no idea what you are talking about. Could you please explain what your post are asking me?
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 15, 2009, at 14:56:49
In reply to To Clarify » HappyChaiTea, posted by jammerlich on February 15, 2009, at 11:11:41
Plus my postings are pretty direct in meaning,at least I thought they were. I don't think there are any inferment to be had. Your posts are the one's that don't make any sense to me pertaining to what the subject is. I am confused... So do you not support what my lady T says, that what my 1st T did to me was my fault? Do you not agree that he deserves any grief about the unethical stuff he did? I am trying to figure out if you are being supportive of me and my T or not, it is hard to tell. We don't post to each so much anymore and have lost touch so I have no idea what you are trying to convey to me.
I believe my first post in the thread tells what I am talking about pretty clearly, or doesn't it?
What don't you understand, maybe someone here can explain it better? Plus you know the story about my first T, you were here at Babble after me.
Posted by jammerlich on February 15, 2009, at 15:04:05
In reply to Re: To Clarify, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 15, 2009, at 14:41:38
I'd be more than happy to refresh your memory; however, doing so here would require posting links which, I'm quite sure, would be considered uncivil. As would babblemailing them to you, I think; though I'd need deputy input to be absolutely sure about that. If you'd like to send me an email address via babblemail, I could send you the links that way. Happy to help in any way I can!
Posted by no_rose_garden on February 15, 2009, at 15:06:30
In reply to His disosures--*triggers* I am so glad I fired him, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 13, 2009, at 21:28:11
He said all these things chai?
Some of them seem ok (depending on context, of course)...but some of them not so much :/I know i've said this before, but I'm glad you have new T :) I know you are too.
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