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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
So, as I posted earlier, I've been feeling quite abysmal lately.
I've also had some really terrible things happen within the past week.
1. Niece got very sick
2. Discovered a large mass in the abdomen of one my oldest and most precious cats.
3. Best friend started having major health issues (think cancer, multiple sclerosis)However, as each of those things has surfaced, been dealt with and come to some sort of temporary resolution, it's odd - but I feel better. I would have thought I would have just taken to the bed, never to rise again. However, just the opposite has happened. I'm on the upswing.
I think it is because it has taken the swirling blackness and given it form. It is now something tangible rather than the morass of grief. It differentiated.
So, is a treatment for being down somehow managing to find more down?
Somehow I doubt it, but here I am feeling much better.
It's an interesting turn of the beast for sure.
Seldom.
Posted by raisinb on February 3, 2009, at 21:38:54
In reply to Differentiating sadness, posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
I am so sorry. That's a lot to process all at once, and I certainly understand how hard it is when a beloved pet is sick.
As for your reaction, it sounds like progress to me.
I think that one of the things that happens as we get further in therapy is that we can feel sad--terribly sad, grieve--over things, yet still be able to live our lives.
Posted by obsidian on February 3, 2009, at 23:07:27
In reply to Differentiating sadness, posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
hmmm...interesting
I am so sorry all this is happening in your life right now.
Sometimes I get put on "active duty"...I know the enemy, and I am headed toward it, to manage it somehow, my energy is directed..-random thoughts
sending healing vibes toward your loved ones...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by Sigismund on February 4, 2009, at 1:46:36
In reply to Differentiating sadness, posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
I heard of a person whose depression resolved at the advent of her leukemia (as it would).
Or as Marx said 'The only cure for mental pain is physical pain'.
Which would lead to unthinkable treatments, or could explain some of those we have.
Posted by onceupon on February 4, 2009, at 9:40:56
In reply to Differentiating sadness, posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
"So, is a treatment for being down somehow managing to find more down?"
Maybe, as you said, a treatment is finding a more specific down. Or maybe it's about personifying grief, depression, whatever. Then again, probably not.
I'm sorry you've been saddled with so much grief. But I'm glad that it sounds like you're managing well.
Posted by Phillipa on February 4, 2009, at 10:13:35
In reply to Re: Differentiating sadness, posted by onceupon on February 4, 2009, at 9:40:56
Just throwing this out there is it possible you're experiencing denial? Those are horrible loses. I kind of did the same thing when Son lost eyesight I was happy he wasn't dead instead? love Phillipa
Posted by Recently on February 4, 2009, at 10:24:37
In reply to Differentiating sadness, posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
>
> I think it is because it has taken the swirling blackness and given it form. It is now something tangible rather than the morass of grief. It differentiated.
>
>This makes a lot of sense to me... The form appearing from the morass. But I'm really sorry you have to be going through these tough situations. It's so painful to watch loved ones suffer...
Recently
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2009, at 10:32:26
In reply to Differentiating sadness, posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
> I think it is because it has taken the swirling blackness and given it form. It is now something tangible rather than the morass of grief. It differentiated.
I think that is definitely possible.
> So, is a treatment for being down somehow managing to find more down?
You mean like the old saw that the cure for a headache is a hurting your hand?
Hmmm... I've always thought that once the immediate shock is past, you'd end up with a headache and a throbbing hand.
Still, gating is a well accepted neurological phenomenon. (Is that the right term? It came to me without thinking, but now I'm left wondering where on earth I heard it.)
I find that when something tangible is going on, I often do detach myself enough that I feel better. So maybe that's what's going on? A low level dissociation that allows you to turn outward to address the issues? And by the time it ends, the original sad feelings may have passed.
I think that's how enthusiasms work... Endless games of bubbles encourages a mild state of dissociation.
I'm sorry about your cat. Is there anything they can do? I know that you'll make her as comfortable and happy as possible.
I'm sorry about your best friend and niece too. I hope things go well with them.
Posted by raisinb on February 4, 2009, at 11:29:26
In reply to Re: Differentiating sadness, posted by Sigismund on February 4, 2009, at 1:46:36
Big crises often have paradoxical effects on me. A few years ago I totaled a car I accidentally had let the insurance lapse on. I still had about 20,000 left to pay on it and the repairs would've cost 10.
This doesn't compare to the losses you're experiencing at all. But I remember that I felt extremely calm afterwards--as if it had clarified for me who I was and what was truly important to me. I almost felt lucky that it had happened.
Of course, that was just a car--an expensive one, but not a comparable thing to a best friend and a deeply loved pet and a niece. But I've read about that paradoxical response to crisis in books--Marsha Linehan, in particular--and I wonder if it's a common human phenomenon.
I hope you're still doing okay.
Posted by gabbette on February 4, 2009, at 16:58:49
In reply to Differentiating sadness, posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
That's how it works for me.
Part of the hell of depression is that it exists
despite circumstance. It's why I get so frustrated when people say "What have you got to be depressed about?"
That's the problem.. if there was good reason it wouldn't be so frightening.
A few years ago we had an earthquake and it made me giddy, because it gave me a reason for my anxiety.In Andrew Solomons book "The Noonday Demon"
he mentions that some people with anxiety disorders take up skydiving or other nerve wracking adventures just to make the anxiety reasonable.
I guess it can be the same for depression.
What a twisted thing to have to have to do though mess with your own head.
"Hey I'll get a divorce just so my circumstances match my mood" : )
Posted by seldomseen on February 4, 2009, at 19:38:45
In reply to Differentiating sadness, posted by seldomseen on February 3, 2009, at 21:00:04
Of course, I deal a lot in hematology, so that is probably not as odd as it comes across.
Blood, when it leaves the heart, does so under a lot of pressure. The vasculature then branches and branches until finally the blood reaches a capillary bed. In the capillaries, there is such extensive branching, the pressure of the blood dissipates. Blood then begins to return to the heart, where it gets repressurized, only to dissapate again.
I think these current events have functioned like a capillary bed for sadness. With each each, the grief branched and dissipated. I think it was about dispersion.
I wish I could say that what was happening is like a river flowing through a delta, then ultimately discharging into the open ocean, never to return. But it's not. I think this is a closed system. With endless cycles of pressurization and discharge.
I will admit that therapy and meds (my hair is actually not hair any longer, but crystalline prozac I suspect) have helped to dampen the system somewhat, but I'm clearly not out of it yet.
Thanks for all of your posts.
Seldom.
Posted by Phillipa on February 4, 2009, at 20:21:47
In reply to Re: Differentiating sadness, posted by Dinah on February 4, 2009, at 10:32:26
Dinah the Gate's theory learned that in school. Interesting. Seems to be accurate. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2009, at 21:07:47
In reply to I'm beginning to think of it like blood., posted by seldomseen on February 4, 2009, at 19:38:45
I like that imagery.
My favorite science teacher taught us about using imagery to fight pain, etc. And I've been trying to teach my son.
Since you're familiar with that system, and since the imagery feels right to you, do you think you can use imagery to help you with those feelings in the future?
I always pictured anxiety as being electrical in nature. While I'm hampered by a lack of knowledge of currents, I try to use imagery that involves channeling, controlling, and disbursing the electricity.
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2009, at 21:08:41
In reply to Re: Differentiating sadness » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on February 4, 2009, at 20:21:47
Glad to hear it. If I hadn't been rushed this morning I'd have done a quick google to make sure I was making any sense at all. :)
Posted by seldomseen on February 4, 2009, at 22:03:08
In reply to Re: I'm beginning to think of it like blood. » seldomseen, posted by Dinah on February 4, 2009, at 21:07:47
It actually has helped, immensely to be honest. The imagery of the blood really helps to provide a familar theoretical framework on which to hang my depression. I've brought it into my realm of expertise. It helps.
The image of the river and the delta is so comforting to me. I guess to maintain my new therapeutic "frame" I should move my entire operation to Tulane :)
Unfortunately, my therapist today practically poop-pooed the whole concept.
But I don't really care, I distracted him with a dream for him to interpret and that kept him busy for a better part of the session (really, it was like a toddler with a set of keys). I don't have to convince him of something that is helping me.
Seldom
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2009, at 22:25:08
In reply to Re: I'm beginning to think of it like blood. » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on February 4, 2009, at 22:03:08
:-)
What a healthy attitude!
Perhaps your therapist just doesn't have the knowledge of the field necessary for him to appreciate the idea.
Posted by Recently on February 4, 2009, at 22:26:44
In reply to I'm beginning to think of it like blood., posted by seldomseen on February 4, 2009, at 19:38:45
This blood metaphor really appeals to me. It makes a lot of sense.
Thanks for sharing.Recently
This is the end of the thread.
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