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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:04:27
..especially personal information?It makes me feel horrible.
I hate it.
Posted by Nadezda on October 6, 2008, at 16:17:23
In reply to How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:04:27
It depends on the information
Nadezda
Posted by Annierose on October 6, 2008, at 16:21:31
In reply to Re: How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Nadezda on October 6, 2008, at 16:17:23
I do think it depends on what they are disclosing.
My t does not disclose much about herself. The times she has it has been appropriate and did not make me feel uncomfortable.What is he/she telling you that is making you feel uncomfortable?
Posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:30:16
In reply to Re: How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Annierose on October 6, 2008, at 16:21:31
Diclosing everything...family life, family holidays, extended family information, etc etc
me=no family (foster kid) so how is this helping me? I feel horrible. Is it supposed to bring something up? Cause it sucks.
Posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:31:27
In reply to How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:04:27
Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2008, at 16:52:56
In reply to How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:04:27
Do you tell him?
Maybe he'd explain his thinking. And if he wasn't thinking, maybe it would prompt him to start.
Posted by rskontos on October 6, 2008, at 17:19:27
In reply to How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:04:27
LT, mine has only disclosed when I ask. And I only asked after 10 months of therapy. I really don't want to know too much. He did not disclose much, I asked things sometimes when I am really troubled and it helps me put things in perspective. Like the discussion here about if a t should go through therapy. I never asked him but somehow one day I did. And he has, and says a good t should have therapy to really believe in it and understand it.
If my t, good too much into telling me his personal stuff I would get uncomfortable. I need him to be a t. I understand. Tell him. I would. It is hard but necessary.
Take care,
sorry you feel so bad.
rsk
Posted by Annierose on October 6, 2008, at 17:42:16
In reply to Re: How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:30:16
I would definitely feel uncomfortable with knowing all that personal information. It's nicer knowing that my therapist lives in her office.
I know this is hard, but I think it's important. Try to bring up this topic. You can approach it from a neutral position ... "I'm always so surprised when you tell me personal information. I always thought therapist did not disclose personal information." And wait for his response. If the conversation continues, you can let him know how uncomfortable it makes you feel and WHY.
Posted by lemonaide on October 6, 2008, at 17:43:08
In reply to Re: How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing? » Looney Tunes, posted by rskontos on October 6, 2008, at 17:19:27
For me now, I really don't want to know anything. It seems it just causes me to think about them and not myself. My new T said she was going to keep the boundary on that because both of my other T's told me way too much and it did effect my therapy, sometimes good but when it was bad, it was really bad.
I understand how his family activities would make you feel bad, I am not sure why he did that, the only way to know is to ask him and tell him how you feel. That is what therapy is all about. Let us know how your next appointment goes.
Posted by lucie lu on October 6, 2008, at 23:27:26
In reply to How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:04:27
LT,
The thing that surprises me is that you two seem so unattuned to each other in regard to this. Does he really not know that you don't like to hear these details? Could he be trying to help you feel more open or comfortable sharing with another person, even though it may not be working for you? In any case, I agree with the others that you really have to just tell him. It's your nickel, you know, and you should not need to be made to feel so uncomfortable by his unsolicited self-disclosures in your therapy.
Lucie
Posted by Wittgensteinz on October 7, 2008, at 3:20:58
In reply to Re: How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:30:16
LT,
I can see why this could be distressing/upsetting for you. I wonder whether your T is doing it for a therapeutic reason or not - I think you do just need to ask him this and explain how it makes you feel. I think it could open up something very beneficial to you both.
I'm sorry this is happening - I very much doubt he is meaning to hurt you in this way.
As for my T - I think he discloses a lot but the things he shares are usually triggered by a comment or question from me. Only occasionally will he share something unprompted and it usually has a clear relevance to the topic. I quite like the disclosure because it makes me feel reassured/safe with him - safe in the knowledge that he is in good health and happy - for me that's important. Every now and again he will safe something that clearly illustrates his own death anxiety and that makes me feel uncomfortable. He's uncomfortable with his age - he finds himself very old - at one point I remarked something like "those are your words not mine" when he included a comment about his age in one of his interpretations, and he admitted that they were.
Hope you're able to talk through this issue with your T.
Witti
Posted by antigua3 on October 7, 2008, at 7:46:26
In reply to How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:04:27
My T will answer anything I ask and often brings up her own things. Last week she told me she was an open book and I could ask her anything. I didn't realize what the trigger was, but I casually mentioned a clock she had in her office that was set to European time. It dawned on both of us that I was afraid she was going to leave me and move to Europe, just as my mother did when I was a teenager, which was a terrible experience for me. That clock has been sitting there for years, but I never made the connection and neither did she. We will work on that now, so if you can let your T know why it bothers you, you can make progess, no matter what the reasons are.
On the other hand, I don't want to know anything personal about my pdoc. It would be way too painful. He discloses very little, which is good for me.
good luck, and tell your T that it is bothering you. Their lives may look perfect, but I assure you they are not.
antigua
Posted by healing928 on October 7, 2008, at 20:28:51
In reply to How do you feel about Therapist Disclosing?, posted by Looney Tunes on October 6, 2008, at 16:04:27
I thin it depends on the relationship, and the t. I had issues with my t, and told him his disclosing hurt me, but it was I wanted my hubby to be more like my therapist. Now I think it is a part of my connection with my t, and that has helped me grow and really be me for the first time in my life.
My t told me he can't be a fake, so if something in his life is relevant he will disclose.
This is the end of the thread.
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