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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 8 to 32 of 32. Go back in thread:
Posted by star008 on January 19, 2008, at 15:43:14
In reply to What happened???, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 13:53:03
Muffled,,
Don't take the bad feelings out on yourself. It is not your fault that the board has been strange lately. I am afraid I might get hurt. The post that bothered you bothered me alot too and I think others didn't like it much either so you are not alone there.
What else is going on?? did you get triggered?? I am sorry muffs.. Things will get better. I think it a phase..babbled must go through its sucky and not so sucky times?
Posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 16:00:54
In reply to What happened???, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 13:53:03
Well I'm here I guess. For better or worse. Life is odd sometimes, and safety is damn hard thing to come by. It's what we live in though.
But, overall, I think it's pretty good here.
I'm listening to an Alanis Morissette remix of Seal's CRAZY.
"Never gonna survive
unless
we are a little crazy"That just about sums it up I think.
Love to you.
Seldom.
Posted by Happyflower on January 19, 2008, at 17:30:44
In reply to What happened???, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 13:53:03
Maybe it has to be the strictness of the rules and for blocks, especially the ones that make no sense and the issues surrounding them start on administration, but never get resolved. Dr. Bob just evaporates or forgets, so I have given up, why should I put in my time when things don't change to make them better. Plus now there is the threat of getting blocked for a new rule that nobody new, that is until someone gets blocked for it.
Maybe it has to do with the searchablity of this site on search engines, especially since the barchive goes back years.
With a smaller private group, we are able to talk more in depth and personal without the worry of it being public, with out the worry of blocks too.We work problems out ourselves, we are adults anyway. I don't see how one small group would impact babble as much as what has happened with the regards of blocks and the hacker. It just isn't safe anymore to post your intimate details of your life on a public message board, especially one that keeps archives forever. I don't feel safe, and I have been hurt very much here, and some of my apologies go un- forgiven.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 19, 2008, at 17:55:01
In reply to What happened???, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 13:53:03
two separate issues? 1) what happens to babble and 2) what happens to muffled's (real life identity).
or are they the same?
I'm sorry you are feeling so hurt. I feel hurt too. Et tu, Brute?
kinda like that, without all the Shakespearean drama...I probably caused some hurt too. For that I am sorry.It's hard sometimes when we babblers have only the written word. So much goes unsaid. Those posts that we pour our heart out into and then delete out of self-censorious caution... The way we choose to reveal ourselves on the boards, in emails, in real life-- are they the same person?
Some of the issues I grapple with, anyways.
-Ll
Posted by Happyflower on January 19, 2008, at 18:16:32
In reply to What happened???, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 13:53:03
I am kinda wondering if this thread is being sensitive to all babblers? I guess what comes around goes around.
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 18:39:18
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by frida on January 19, 2008, at 13:58:19
> I don't post much, many times i wish i could and i've started writing mnay times, but then i can't...
*yeah...
> but i wanted to say that maybe some posters lately have felt a little hurt, understandably so...
*well that does seem to happen from time to time...but usu some understanding is achieved, but sometimes not.
Maybe its just too sensitive a topic our T's.
And I think traditionally this board WAS a place where we could express our angst about our T's. So maybe its not a good topic to discuss the whys, at least not here......> And when you are feeling vulnerable and in need of reassurance, it can be hard to read.
*It was hard. But there have been hard topics here before..I dunno why this was extra triggering for so many. Including me. It was kinda sneakily triggery to me.
> i hope you can feel safe again soon.
*I dunno. I hope so.
> sending safe hugs if ok
> Frida*Thx Frida, back atcha ((( Frida )))
M
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 18:40:22
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by RealMe on January 19, 2008, at 14:53:03
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 18:41:21
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by sunnydays on January 19, 2008, at 15:10:41
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 18:46:40
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by LadyBug on January 19, 2008, at 15:40:14
Hard times :-(
I'm SO sorry.
Wish I could say something clever to help you...
If it helps to vent on babble, do so. If you feel ok doing it that is...
Thinking of you, hoping things work out as best they can.
You DO have a VERY exteemly large plate full. And T away on top of it.
Hard times.
Hang in there LB. I send you good thots/prayers.
Hope some better times can come sooner.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 18:47:49
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by star008 on January 19, 2008, at 15:43:14
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 18:50:20
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by seldomseen on January 19, 2008, at 16:00:54
> Well I'm here I guess. For better or worse. Life is odd sometimes, and safety is damn hard thing to come by. It's what we live in though.
*your right, and wise, as usual :-)
> But, overall, I think it's pretty good here.*yes, you are right. I have had ALOT of good from this board. More good than bad by far.
> I'm listening to an Alanis Morissette remix of Seal's CRAZY.
> "Never gonna survive
> unless
> we are a little crazy"*;-)
> That just about sums it up I think.*YUP!!!
> Love to you.*and you too. Thanks.
Muffled
Posted by sunnydays on January 19, 2008, at 19:00:43
In reply to Re: What happened???, posted by Happyflower on January 19, 2008, at 17:30:44
You know... I believe this site has always been searchable. I don't think anything has changed in terms of safety in that regard. *Perceived* safety, perhaps, but not actual safety. Personally, that is not my main concern. My concern is with not feeling posting here is safe for me at the moment. My feelings are very fragile, so sometimes I read things into posts that may be perfectly innocent and straightforward that aren't even there. I have a hugely critical voice inside myself, and sometimes I need to protect myself from things that are likely to make it worse. That doesn't mean anything at all about individual posters or the board in general, just that my feelings are easily hurt at the moment. Hopefully others here can relate to that.
Blocks I think for the most part protect us on this site. I know others disagree. And sometimes I disagree with specific blocks. But Dr. Bob is just one human being and I think he does the best he can to be fair and consistent.
My T would tell me to stop reading this site tonight I bet (he doesn't know about Babble at all, but I bet he would tell me to stop for tonight). But unfortunately it's a great way to fill my time. I've kind of exhausted my other hobbies (crafts) for tonight. God I am a pathetic college student. These better not be the best years of my life, because I don't think there's anything to live for if they are (to clarify: I'm not suicidal at all, just feeling rather hopeless about myself and my future tonight).
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 19:10:02
In reply to Re: What happened???, posted by Happyflower on January 19, 2008, at 17:30:44
> Maybe it has to be the strictness of the rules and for blocks,
*that has definately been a challenge for me...yet I return....good people here..
>why should I put in my time when things don't change to make them better. Plus now there is the threat of getting blocked for a new rule that nobody new, that is until someone gets blocked for it.*What do you mean 'put in time?', you mean post? A chance I guess I am willing to take....though when I get blocked, I WILL be very upset. But I come back....good people here.
I know you are upset by this site HF, yet you too keep returning/reading?.......just like me :-)> Maybe it has to do with the searchablity of this site on search engines, especially since the barchive goes back years.
*Sigh it is SO hard to search, I wish it was easier...
> With a smaller private group, we are able to talk more in depth and personal without the worry of it being public, with out the worry of blocks too.
*I guess we just differ here. I LIKE that its public and open. Thats how I came to be here. I think our posts HELP other people IRL as they read here. Helps them to feel less alone in their struggles. I talk in depth and personal to my T. If its in 'public', then its for all to see, and I am OK w/that really. It is what feels 'safer' to me. But thats what makes the world go round, all us different people.
> We work problems out ourselves, we are adults anyway.*Sigh....I wish I could just talk and work out probs....but again, I do that w/T. Again, I like a broad pool to read my ideas etc and therefore more likely one of them will 'get' it, or NOT! but usu lotsa sympathy out there!
And I am hoping babblers are adults!!! OMG, depending on where I am at, my language can be pretty atrocious! Sigh....now you kinda freaking me? D'ya think kids would be on babble????>I don't see how one small group would impact babble as much as what has happened with the regards of blocks and the hacker. It just isn't safe anymore to post your intimate details of your life on a public message board, especially one that keeps archives forever. I don't feel safe, and I have been hurt very much here, and some of my apologies go un- forgiven.
*I don't think one small group impacts babble particularly, its just impactful when its brought up as being ONLY for certain people that its hurtful/divisive. I like that babble is open to all, though thats a challenge at times. So I guess I should stop complaining cuz with openess comes everything, so I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too!
Yeah, we all been hurt or trigger here I think at various times. We are a sensitive bunch. I am sorry you still struggle as far as relations go :-( Maybe with time things will improve?
Nice to see you HF.
Take care.
M
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 19:19:05
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 19, 2008, at 17:55:01
> two separate issues? 1) what happens to babble and 2) what happens to muffled's (real life identity).
> or are they the same?*I'm not sure what you mean??? Babble affects me IRL for sure. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does. Just it IS real to me, the people are so real, and I hurt for them. I wish so bad I could somehow make it better for those that struggle so hard, and yet are SUCH kind people. I just have enjoyed and its been helpful for me to share here, and to read other peoples 'stuff' too. And I have met so many good people here.
> I'm sorry you are feeling so hurt. I feel hurt too. Et tu, Brute?* sorry you hurt too ((LL))
> kinda like that, without all the Shakespearean drama...I probably caused some hurt too. For that I am sorry.
*I don't think people MEAN to hurt, just sometimes it happens I think. The human condition.
> It's hard sometimes when we babblers have only the written word. So much goes unsaid. Those posts that we pour our heart out into and then delete out of self-censorious caution... The way we choose to reveal ourselves on the boards, in emails, in real life-- are they the same person?*I dunno. For me, I have more than just me, so for me, I see it that what I write, what I say, etc ALL come from me, they are ALL parts of this body that is me. So yes, they are all "muffled", or so I am told...LOL!!! But....where DOES the gas come out if an Ikid f*rts......good question! ;-o ;-)!!!
> Some of the issues I grapple with, anyways.
*Thx for sharing Llurpyloo.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 19:20:12
In reply to Re: What happened???, posted by Happyflower on January 19, 2008, at 18:16:32
> I am kinda wondering if this thread is being sensitive to all babblers? I guess what comes around goes around.
*sigh, it IS a challenge this written word.
Take care,
M
Posted by LadyBug on January 19, 2008, at 20:33:53
In reply to Oh ((((((( Ladybug ))))))) » LadyBug, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 18:46:40
Thanks so much muffled!
That means so much to me!!!!
(((((((MUFFLED)))))))
LadyBug
Posted by Happyflower on January 19, 2008, at 21:07:51
In reply to Re: What happened??? » Happyflower, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 19:10:02
> >why should I put in my time when things don't hange to make them better. Plus now there is the threat of getting blocked for a new rule that nobody new, that is until someone gets blocked for it.
>
> *What do you mean 'put in time?', you mean post?***I spend a lot of time on admin. trying for change, supporting others who wish to do the same, even getting blocked to show a point. I have only seen things get worse with the strictness of the rules.
I know you are upset by this site HF, yet you too keep returning/reading?.......just like me :-)
***I miss some of the friends here who I have been talking to for 3 years, I do care about them, and that is why it is hard to leave. But sometimes you have to weigh the options, I also get hurt too.> > Maybe it has to do with the searchablity of this site on search engines, especially since the barchive goes back years.
>
> *Sigh it is SO hard to search, I wish it was easier...***When I search under Google for happyflower, 3 of my posts come up that I have made on babble on the 1st page.
> With a smaller private group, we are able to talk more in depth and personal without the worry of it being public, with out the worry of blocks too.
> *I guess we just differ here. I LIKE that its public and open. Thats how I came to be here. I think our posts HELP other people IRL as they read here. Helps them to feel less alone in their struggles.***The thing is Muffy, it isn't all in the public, there is a lot of things that happen off this site, so not all conversations is in the open.
I talk in depth and personal to my T. If its in 'public', then its for all to see, and I am OK w/that really. It is what feels 'safer' to me. But thats what makes the world go round, all us different people.
*** That is good you do that with your T but sometimes our T's can't be there for us all the time, and it is nice to talk to people about in depth things that some of don't feel comfortable talking about on a public board where thousands of people can see.
> > We work problems out ourselves, we are adults anyway.
>
> *Sigh....I wish I could just talk and work out probs....but again, I do that w/T. Again, I like a broad pool to read my ideas etc and therefore more likely one of them will 'get' it, or NOT! but usu lotsa sympathy out there!***I have found I am able to be myself off the boards , so in doing so, I find others much more supportive and helpful because they don't have to risk getting blocked, they can be honest.
> And I am hoping babblers are adults!!! OMG, depending on where I am at, my language can be pretty atrocious! Sigh....now you kinda freaking me? D'ya think kids would be on babble????
***I am sure kids do read Babble, they do other mental health sites.
>I don't see how one small group would impact babble as much as what has happened with the regards of blocks and the hacker. It just isn't safe anymore to post your intimate details of your life on a public message board, especially one that keeps archives forever. I don't feel safe, and I have been hurt very much here, and some of my apologies go un- forgiven.
>
> *I don't think one small group impacts babble particularly, its just impactful when its brought up as being ONLY for certain people that its hurtful/divisive.***I think the only place I have read it being brought up is in this post. Some of us feel closer to one another and have developed a friendship here, I don't see anything wrong with that if we want to continue that friendship more in depth.
I like that babble is open to all, though thats a challenge at times.
***But not everyone is accepted here though and even though babble is a public forum, there still are divisions of people.
> Yeah, we all been hurt or trigger here I think at various times. We are a sensitive bunch. I am sorry you still struggle as far as relations go :-( Maybe with time things will improve?
***I will still continue to post stuff, but not deeply personal stuff that can be used to identify me or used against me in my future. The net is a scary thing, and things you write about now, you just might not want the world to know 10 years later. If there were not old archives, it would feel safer to open up more, but knowing it will be here "forever", makes me and others uncomfortable.
> Nice to see you HF.
> Take care.
> M
>
>
Posted by RealMe on January 20, 2008, at 0:22:29
In reply to Be safe. (nm) » RealMe, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 18:40:22
I will be okay, and you be okay too.
RealMe
Posted by ClearSkies on January 20, 2008, at 8:33:48
In reply to What happened???, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 13:53:03
I think that what I've seen since I've been posting, (that would be 2003) is a dynamic change in the population, as people come and go in the community. Some of us stay and have been distraught at the comings (not usually) and goings (most often) of the posters. The longer I'm here the more I see a pattern of the people who remain throughout those changes, noticing them, remarking on them, and grieving those changes. I think it's natural and normal to have these changes happen, and also to be upset by them.
The other thing that has happened has been an evolution of the guidelines, which, overwhelmingly (to me) has had a positive influence on how the boards run. If you take a look back in the archives to 2003 I think you see maybe more flaming going on, more people being hurt unintentionally by flying debris of escalating threads, as passions rose. This has almost entirely disappeared with the implementation of the "notification" button, which took all the complaints, and most of the resolutions, off the boards altogether.
It makes for a quieter place.
I personally don't do a lot of communication via babblemail, by choice. Same with chat, where I've had some unfortunate experiences. The more private the communication vector, the greater the risk for miscommunication, perhaps? And so, the change there has been in how I've decided to communicate with others here, which is mostly by posting. And at any time, if someone has chosen to take their communication with me to that less visible place (chat or babblemail), it's entirely MY choice to say, "I'm not comfortable with this." And I quite often do. Either by leaving the chat room, or by not replying to b-mails.
But mostly, I see babble as an organic place, always changing, always growing, never static. That's one of the things that I actually love about it; that it's not just black words on a vanilla screen. So we can mourn the changes we see here, or we can embrace them.
That's my take on it, anyway.
Posted by 10derHeart on January 20, 2008, at 13:25:33
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by ClearSkies on January 20, 2008, at 8:33:48
Posted by RealMe on January 20, 2008, at 14:11:33
In reply to Re: What happened??? » muffled, posted by ClearSkies on January 20, 2008, at 8:33:48
That sounds like a really good way of handling things, but I personally don't think everyone does that. I have not at times, and now I just feel better not saying much of anything to anyone. I have said things and done things that have been misinterpreted, and people have written me back channel so to speak and said things, sometimes informative and sometimes misinformation, and so I am choosing not to be here or anywhere much at all. Too much stress in my life, and I don't need more from any group. Thanks.
RealMe
Posted by llurpsienoodle on January 20, 2008, at 20:27:41
In reply to Re: What happened??? » ClearSkies, posted by RealMe on January 20, 2008, at 14:11:33
> That sounds like a really good way of handling things, but I personally don't think everyone does that. I have not at times, and now I just feel better not saying much of anything to anyone. I have said things and done things that have been misinterpreted, and people have written me back channel so to speak and said things, sometimes informative and sometimes misinformation, and so I am choosing not to be here or anywhere much at all. Too much stress in my life, and I don't need more from any group. Thanks.
Realme, you have contributed a LOT to babble, and I wish that we could support you right now. It has truly been a pleasure to get to know you better. Maybe you can start another thread about things that trigger you, and we can start a "realme safety thread", and you can talk about things that help and hurt you. You have given so much, and I wish there was some way to give back.
-Ll
>
> RealMe
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 22, 2008, at 17:49:15
In reply to What happened???, posted by muffled on January 19, 2008, at 13:53:03
You make some great points. I'm not sure how to get there, but I have noticed the difference, too. I think it's hard to do a board like this where people can get so triggered so easily (myself definitely included) and where people, obviously, don't always agree on things. Maybe if we all try to remember to treat each other with respect, even when we disagree, which I have always known you to do. And to try to pass by threads that are triggering to us. I don't know -- I wish I could fix it.
Posted by RealMe on January 23, 2008, at 22:37:01
In reply to Re: What happened??? » RealMe, posted by llurpsienoodle on January 20, 2008, at 20:27:41
Thanks lurpsie, but I don't think anyone would wants anything to do with me including me. I am not doing well, and I think people expect better from me. I have my problems like everyone else and so I think I just need to shut up here and everywhere and try to work on what the H is wrong with me with my T. Thanks for your concern. My nasty part has been coming out more with T and others, and I don't want to say anymore. Plus I found out Monday that I have memory deficits - did some testing and have actual damage from ECT. This is the first I have said anything to anyone. So, I think it best for me to keep silent for now. what with the dissociating and memory and disorientation problems, well I need to minimize contacts for now. thanks.
RealMe
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 24, 2008, at 7:34:02
In reply to Re: What happened??? » llurpsienoodle, posted by RealMe on January 23, 2008, at 22:37:01
Whenever you're ready, you will be welcome here. In the meanwhile, I hope you have a safe recovery, as it sounds like you're still in a recovery phase. Take extra good care of yourself and take some time off by all means if that's what is needed.
-Ll
This is the end of the thread.
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