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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Wittgenstein on December 19, 2007, at 4:29:35
Since my session yesterday I've been feeling weird - sad, mourning feelings :(
I've been really busy the last days looking after my new puppy. I love her to bits but I was so preoccupied that I forgot my T had scheduled my session an hour earlier (he had some builders doing some work at his house). Anyway, I turned up at the normal time - completely forgot. As I got to his front door I realised. I asked him if I should go away - apologised - he was clearly quite busy. He told me to wait for him - let me sit in his room and said he'd be back in a bit. I felt really awkward though. I could hear him and his wife and the builders in the garden and hoped they wouldn't look in and see me sitting there :(
Anyway, after about 15 minutes he came back and we had a session anyway. I felt so distracted and actually a bit sick. It's my penultimate session before Christmas and it sucks to have mucked it up. He said some really nice things to me that made me feel very nice but I left feeling so sad and have done since. I'm beginning to realise that he does believe and understand me - it's a lovely feeling - something for the first time with anyone - but it's so much to take in and now we have the holidays - I feel really attached and needy toward him at the moment and the last thing I want is to have a break for a couple of weeks.
Some months ago, I read a couple of books about borderline parents and one book had a big impact on me - 'Understanding the Borderline Mother'. He wanted to read it to understand why it had such an effect (after reading it I was very low and nearly hospitalised). I finally let him borrow the book and he read it the last week. I was scared he would find me ridiculous or that he wouldn't see the significance of it or how much it related to my experiences but he understood exactly and has said so many validating things the last sessions. He's always said he believes me and knows what really happened - it has always been covered up - but now I have to take in what he says and it's too overwhelming.
Witti
Posted by I need a hug on December 19, 2007, at 4:59:52
In reply to Feeling weird, posted by Wittgenstein on December 19, 2007, at 4:29:35
Witti,
It sounds like you have a wonderful T. The fact that he took the time to read your book is so touching. I know it's not much but try taking things one day at a time. I know it's overwhelming. My T quit her job and it took me seven months before I saw her again. Trust me, I know how you feel. Hang in there. HUGS
Posted by rskontos on December 19, 2007, at 8:26:26
In reply to Feeling weird, posted by Wittgenstein on December 19, 2007, at 4:29:35
Witti, I think he is a beautiful man and lovely T. to read your book I am impressed and wowed. I like him. I understand though how you now have to take that in and it is hard. But like Hugs said just digest it a little at a him. He does get you and the job he is doing. He needed to see if he could get what about the book made you feel so desparate. And he did. That is something.
Just hearing this story makes me feel like crying but a happy cry like there are Ts out there that do get it. Nice people out there. So you might need the break to really think about all he is too you and to really feel it inside yourself. It will be hard but so worth it.
You found a real winner T. ((((((((((Witti)))))))))))))
rsk
Posted by lovelorn on December 19, 2007, at 9:19:08
In reply to Feeling weird, posted by Wittgenstein on December 19, 2007, at 4:29:35
>but I left feeling so sad and have done since. I'm beginning to realise that he does believe and understand me...
There's been many a time I've walked out of my therapy sessions and have been sadder than when I went in, sometimes lasting for days or weeks.
There is something about sharing our sadness with someone that permits the feeling to be expressed in full, probably because we may, for the first time, not feel so alone with it. As my T said recently, she notices that I am able to stay with or hold the sad feelings longer/better and that is supposed to be a sign of progress. It doesn't feel like it, but there you go. It does get better eventually.
Posted by muffled on December 19, 2007, at 12:15:36
In reply to Feeling weird, posted by Wittgenstein on December 19, 2007, at 4:29:35
>but now I have to take in what he says and it's too overwhelming.
*ya, like babblers say...baby steps.
I am there too.
Don't want to accept reality.
But the validating DOES feel good.
Ya, my T away awhile too :-(
Take good care,
M
Posted by Wittgenstein on December 20, 2007, at 1:47:47
In reply to Re: Feeling weird, posted by I need a hug on December 19, 2007, at 4:59:52
That must have been extremely difficult - 7 months is such a long time. Do you still see the same T? How did you end up seeing her again?
Thanks for your kind words.
Witti
Posted by Wittgenstein on December 20, 2007, at 1:52:20
In reply to Re: Feeling weird » Wittgenstein, posted by rskontos on December 19, 2007, at 8:26:26
Thanks Rskontos - I love him very much - it's just at the same time I find it hard when people go out of their way for me. I sent him a mail yesterday to thank him. He usually replies to my mails within a few hours but this time no reply so now I'm nagging. I'll see him tomorrow though - then we've got a break. Perhaps your right, perhaps it's a good thing but I will miss him.
Witti
Posted by Wittgenstein on December 20, 2007, at 1:56:11
In reply to Re: Feeling weird » Wittgenstein, posted by lovelorn on December 19, 2007, at 9:19:08
I think you're right Lovelorn. My T said something like that last time - that letting the truth be seen can be very painful but in the end the truth is always better and once digested it gives a new freedom.
I hope you have a good Christmas.
Witti
Posted by Wittgenstein on December 20, 2007, at 1:58:23
In reply to Re: Feeling weird » Wittgenstein, posted by muffled on December 19, 2007, at 12:15:36
Thanks Muffled. I hope you manage ok while your T is away. I've lived a long time under an illusion and now that is shattered - should be a good thing - I guess in the end it will be.
((((hugs))))
Witti
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