![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on November 23, 2007, at 17:22:11
Today was an absolutely dismal session. He was obviously sleepy. I was at my most soporific, somewhat monotone and incoherent as I searched for words to describe some inner experience. He kept repeating back to me what I'd said, and getting it completely wrong. Not in meaning, but in actual words. I tried to talk louder, he tried to listen harder. He says it's not only that I talk softly but there's something about the timbre of my voice. So now I'm trying to listen to my timbre. Is it possible to hear one's own timbre? He says when I get excited about something I talk louder and it's ok. My husband says when I get excited about something I talk too loud and it's not ok at all.
Then it suddenly occurred to me that this might be it. This might be *the* session where we finally run out of things to talk about.
He laughed and said this was an example of my all or none way of thinking sometimes. Which I thought was rather unfair. It might be an example of my catastrophic thinking. But not of all or none thinking I don't think?
As we left he said, and I think he was teasing, that if we had nothing to talk about next Tuesday or Friday I could start to worry. I know he meant that well, but suddenly I'm positive that I won't be able to think of a thing to say.
It's not impossible after all. By now he's heard my stories often enough to remember them. He knows everyone in my life as well as I do, at least from my perspective. And he could find his way on a day trip through my brain without much trouble.
It's not like I'm feeling great. I'm not. I got upset with my mother Monday, and it seems to have triggered some sort of chemical chain reaction. I've mostly been able to put out of my mind what happened, and even my concerns about the future. But my stimulation level hasn't really declined, and of course that always sort of snowballs. So it's not that I'm feeling great.
Boy, I hope this was just a really bad session and I can think of something to say on Tuesday.
Posted by Dinah on November 23, 2007, at 17:25:30
In reply to Out of things to talk about?, posted by Dinah on November 23, 2007, at 17:22:11
Towards the end, I lamented that I must be boring and he said I should *never* (emphasis his) think I'm boring. I grinned and coaxed that surely sometimes I'm boring? And he grinned and chose not to respond.
Posted by JoniS on November 23, 2007, at 22:30:12
In reply to Re: Out of things to talk about?, posted by Dinah on November 23, 2007, at 17:25:30
I bet you'll have things to say next week. My T sometimes says "we dont have to talk about anything if you dont want to..." but then it seems like he usually asks me a question to get a discussion going. Anyway, sometimes I think you just have those low energy, low interaction sessions. Dont you guess thats what this was? It's happened to me 3 or 4 times in the last 4.1/2 years.
take care
Posted by Daisym on November 23, 2007, at 22:49:24
In reply to Out of things to talk about?, posted by Dinah on November 23, 2007, at 17:22:11
Your post made me smile...not because I don't see how scary it could be to feel like you have nothing left to say but because it re-enforces this picture I have of the two of you - like an old married couple sometimes.
And just like that old couple, there are times when you can finish each other's sentences, so-to-speak. It is OK that he knows you so well. I think he provides stability and support around the up and downs of daily life. If life hasn't thrown any curve balls right now, that is a good thing!
You use to have a pile of index cards...what happened to those? I find I can talk about my kids and being a mom (I orginally typed being my mom -- hmmmm) and that always takes us places. Or we talk about books - one of my favorite subjects!
You'll get through this. I'm sure of it.
Posted by star008 on November 23, 2007, at 23:40:53
In reply to Re: Out of things to talk about? » Dinah, posted by Daisym on November 23, 2007, at 22:49:24
Dinah,
Having nothing to say happens sometimes. It always makes me feel like I am wasting time. Between his low energy and yours it is no surprise that it went that way..There will be things to talk about. You have your mother and your future on your mind now so there is something to talk about if you want to. Sometimes I just get so tired of talking about me and all my stuff. You will have a better session. Try not to worry about it..It is normal and it happens sometimes. Not fun.. but
Posted by Dinah on November 24, 2007, at 0:11:09
In reply to Re: Out of things to talk about? » Dinah, posted by JoniS on November 23, 2007, at 22:30:12
I suppose that is it. My therapist took responsibility for it, but I think I get frustrated sometimes. With myself.
I haven't felt really well this week. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so weird about this.
Posted by Dinah on November 24, 2007, at 0:17:57
In reply to Re: Out of things to talk about? » Dinah, posted by Daisym on November 23, 2007, at 22:49:24
It was kind of funny. When I took out the index cards a while back, it was like they had no relation to me at all. I know at one time they seemed like huge issues. But now I just smile at them.
I suppose if I felt that comfortable old shoe feeling I wouldn't be upset. That's kind of a nice shared feeling.
Instead it felt like a thousand missed meetings. That he didn't hear me was one thing. That he guessed so miserably at what I said didn't make me feel like I was really understood. Like he had been misunderstanding for forever.
I suppose it was just today. I have such a rotten memory.
Posted by Dinah on November 24, 2007, at 0:22:34
In reply to Re: Out of things to talk about?, posted by star008 on November 23, 2007, at 23:40:53
If I'm lucky I'll never remember my mother or the future. Hopefully the problem will contain its own solution, when it finally presents itself. There's something to be said for Scarlett's deciding to worry about it tomorrow. :)
I do have a sense of impending doom tonight, but I think it's related to things in the more immediate future. Sometimes I get so angry with myself for being foolish. It's like I wake up from a dream.
Posted by star008 on November 24, 2007, at 1:20:30
In reply to Re: Out of things to talk about? » star008, posted by Dinah on November 24, 2007, at 0:22:34
You are not being foolish Dinah.. you are just feeling and thinking.. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think .. I wish there was an easy way out of all of this but there isn't. That is the reality. Hang in there, it will pass.. It always does..hugs
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.