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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on December 20, 2006, at 20:54:04
I miss my T so much. I want to have Christmas with him and I want him to take care of me. I would be really good so he wouldn't get mad at me. And I want him to tuck me in at night, and sing me a song. I just like him so much. I miss him so much, and it hasn't even been a week since I saw him. I keep having bad dreams about my mom and I want him to be there in the middle of the night to give me a hug and tell me it's going to be ok. I miss him.
sunnydays
Posted by 10derHeart on December 21, 2006, at 0:34:26
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on December 20, 2006, at 20:54:04
Your post made me cry. You're so honest about this toipc, and it's also pretty brave to write it so plainly here. Weird how when I can totally relate to the 'little' feelings and missing my T. (every day) in what you say, at the same time, I also see in you (but NOT me, of course) this courage to admit it all and long for it and be sad and say you're sad. Big, adult, brave stuff, all mixed in with that little girl who just wants to rest, relax, snuggle, quit thinking and have someone totally safe love her.
<sigh> or maybe that's just all *my* stuff. But I sure do think I can understand your emotions. It's an ache that's like no other ache.
And what's my excuse? I saw my T. 12 hours ago...yet it can feel like forever and hurts even more the days when they are sooooo exta-kind and gentle, ya' know? Maybe I should ask him to be meaner so I won't hate to leave and miss him so much? Hah - like he could do it. I feel silly, but then posts like yours make me feel like others really do go through this and really do get it. Thank you for that.
Wish I could help. Hope you find comfort and the bad dreams go away. Do you have anything of his? Or can you call and listen to his message, if he has one? Those things help me a little. Sounds like a few of us need Camp Comfort or something like muffled's cave....but I'm stubborn...I want all our T's there, too....
Not to be funny, 'cause I don't think it is at all, but the expression, "T's - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em," keeps running through my head tonight. Maybe 'cause earlier I was bad....I......[[whispers]] shhhhhhhhhhhh
....don't tell....but I ....................drove by T's house. Haven't done that one in months, but tonight....{shrug} I saw his car. I saw his Christmas lights (very beautiful) Looked all warm and inviting. Felt both better and worse if that's possible. Cried off and on driving home. sheesh...I'm definitely not feeling much over 5 or 6 inside lately.
It's so hard sometimes.
Posted by LadyBug on December 21, 2006, at 1:57:44
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on December 20, 2006, at 20:54:04
I can feel how much you miss him. I wish you could have him with you to tuck you in and hug you when you have a bad dream. Do you get to see him before or between the Holiday's? I chose to see my T 2 times this week, yesterday and tomorrow. It's because she is taking all of next week off and the other reason is the last 2 times I've left her office I've been so down, sad and in tears. I needed to tell her that and try and talk about why before it's 2 weeks till I see her again.
I want to go spend Christmas with my T also. I would love to be one of her kids, even if they are all grown. I'd love to be at her house sitting in front of the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate, visiting and feeling connected. We'd be in our Christmas jammies of course, she could buy them. Flannel pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt to match. Some soft, comfy, warm slippers to match. Christmas music makes me depressed so I don't think we could have any music on. I've had some really sad Christmas memories of not so long ago and I've struggled every year since. This year seems better than some I've had. but Christmas time to me is so SAD!!!!! I want to cry sometimes when I think of it. It shouldn't be this way. I'm glad I have kids even though they're not little anymore, to make it fun for me. Otherwise I don't even think I'd put up a tree or any decorations or do a dang bit of shopping!!! Except for myself, my parents, and my sister!
I hope you can find some comfort in your thoughts of your T and somehow hold on to those until you see him again. I know it's hard and it hurts so very much. Talk about this longing with him so you can understand it.
I wish I could reach out and comfort you cuz I know just how you feel.
LadyBug
Posted by sunnydays on December 21, 2006, at 9:00:28
In reply to Re: i miss my T » sunnydays, posted by 10derHeart on December 21, 2006, at 0:34:26
> Your post made me cry.
**** Well, you're post almost made me cry, except in the morning you pretty much have to hit me over the head with a board to make me cry - the little feelings are much much stronger at night.
You're so honest about this toipc, and it's also pretty brave to write it so plainly here.
**** Thanks for saying that. I never thought about it, but I guess maybe I could see it if it were someone else... (I have trouble accepting compliments for me)
Weird how when I can totally relate to the 'little' feelings and missing my T. (every day) in what you say, at the same time, I also see in you (but NOT me, of course) this courage to admit it all and long for it and be sad and say you're sad. Big, adult, brave stuff, all mixed in with that little girl who just wants to rest, relax, snuggle, quit thinking and have someone totally safe love her.
**** Wow. That's the part that really almost makes me cry. I never thought of it like that. It makes me feel better if I don't seem entirely little and young, because I really want to act like an adult, it just doesn't happen sometimes.
>
> <sigh> or maybe that's just all *my* stuff. But I sure do think I can understand your emotions. It's an ache that's like no other ache.
>**** No, I think you understand it perfectly. An ache is exactly what it is.
> And what's my excuse? I saw my T. 12 hours ago...yet it can feel like forever and hurts even more the days when they are sooooo exta-kind and gentle, ya' know?
**** Yeah. I was kind of hoping for a really nice session before he left, but it didn't happen. It was alright, but I couldn't settle down to talk about any one thing - I was so nervous about leaving. But maybe it would have made it harder anyway.
Maybe I should ask him to be meaner so I won't hate to leave and miss him so much? Hah - like he could do it. I feel silly, but then posts like yours make me feel like others really do go through this and really do get it. Thank you for that.
**** The same goes for you. I go through lots of times when I think I must be the world's biggest idiot and that no one else could possibly understand.
>
> Wish I could help. Hope you find comfort and the bad dreams go away. Do you have anything of his?**** Yeah, a little stone that's like one of those shiny ones you might put in the bottom of a vase, but I'm afraid it's losing its magic a little. But I'm scared to bring it back in because maybe I'm not supposed to still have it, and maybe he'll take it back.
Or can you call and listen to his message, if he has one? Those things help me a little. Sounds like a few of us need Camp Comfort or something like muffled's cave....but I'm stubborn...I want all our T's there, too....
**** Yeah, I was posting with wishingstar about Camp Comfort somewhere above, but I don't want a substitute T, I want my T there. The message doesn't help much, because it doesn't sound like him to me. He sounds a little nervous.
>
> Not to be funny, 'cause I don't think it is at all, but the expression, "T's - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em," keeps running through my head tonight. Maybe 'cause earlier I was bad....I......[[whispers]] shhhhhhhhhhhh
> ....don't tell....but I ....................
>
> drove by T's house. Haven't done that one in months, but tonight....{shrug} I saw his car. I saw his Christmas lights (very beautiful) Looked all warm and inviting. Felt both better and worse if that's possible. Cried off and on driving home. sheesh...I'm definitely not feeling much over 5 or 6 inside lately.
>
> It's so hard sometimes.*** I don't think it's bad at all. It's not like you went to the front door and asked to live there. Enjoy the warm feeling.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on December 21, 2006, at 13:58:47
In reply to Re: i miss my T, posted by LadyBug on December 21, 2006, at 1:57:44
Thank you Ladybug. I'm in a bit of a hurry so I can't respond as well as I would like, but I wanted you to know that your reply is much much much appreciated. No, I don't get to see my T over break at all, as I'm a college student and I have to leave and go home, plus he's off for two weeks. I can email though and he'll check his email at least once.
Thanks,
sunnydays
Posted by happykat on December 21, 2006, at 16:45:52
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on December 20, 2006, at 20:54:04
>>> I miss my T so much.<<<
**Me too! :(
>>>I want him to tuck me in at night, and sing me a song.<<<
**Very sweet. All the posts on this thread are moving. It goes right to the heart of how much our t's mean to us.
>>>I keep having bad dreams about my mom and I want him to be there in the middle of the night to give me a hug and tell me it's going to be ok.<<<
**I'm sorry. Bad dreams suck!
**Wishing you good, happy, sweet, therapist filled dreams for the holidays! : )
regards,
happykat
Posted by Poet on December 21, 2006, at 18:26:42
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on December 20, 2006, at 20:54:04
Hi Sunnydays,
My T is off this week, but is back next week, and I'm very grateful for it. I know she needs breaks from work (don't you just hate it that we are their work, I know I do...) I hope her and her family are having a great Hanukkah, and maybe when she lights a candle she'll think of me.
I hope your T thinks of you, and that the next two weeks fly by.
Take Care.
Poet
Posted by sunnydays on December 21, 2006, at 18:56:44
In reply to Re: i miss my T » sunnydays, posted by happykat on December 21, 2006, at 16:45:52
Posted by sunnydays on December 21, 2006, at 19:00:14
In reply to Re: i miss my T » sunnydays, posted by Poet on December 21, 2006, at 18:26:42
I definitely hate it that we are their work. I want to feel like I'm the highlight of his life -but of course it's probably better if his family is the highlight. Unfortunately, my break is longer than his, so I still have almost a full month before I see him, but hopefully it'll be ok. I'm doing alright tonight, but I'm afraid, since I fly home tomorrow morning. My dad keeps complaining to me that Christmas spirit will be up to us because the rest of my family isn't in the spirit. So it'll be difficult, but I think I can do it. Thanks Poet.
sunnydays
Posted by canadagirl on December 22, 2006, at 23:11:09
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on December 20, 2006, at 20:54:04
That just goes to show the value of the relationship you have with him. It's normal to miss someone who you care about so much and who gives you kindness and compassion at least some of the time. Perfectly normal to miss him. I hope you can find strength over the holidays.
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2006, at 10:27:36
In reply to Re: i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on December 21, 2006, at 19:00:14
Oh take care SD.
Hope Christmas goes Ok.
Its such a hard time of year.
Muffled
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