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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on October 26, 2006, at 21:33:11
That's right, I criticized my T today. Started off the session with it. Had a big tantrum, ended up being hauled out of the room in a wheelbarrow, and she fired me.
Not really.
I really did say something critical to her about last week's session, and we talked about it. The criticism was about the whole pdoc/meds thing. I was certainly upset, nothing she said was wrong, but I felt invalidated. I told her that. I told her I think I really wanted at least a little of the, "Yes, of course you're frightened, but you made the appointment, you didn't cancel, you went through with it all. That's very brave of you. And now let's talk about what you have to work on so you stop doing that."
What was so funny, is that at the end of that section of the talk, she said, "And bringing this up was very brave of you."
It wasn't nearly as frightening as it might have been six months ago, either. Well, maybe it was more frightening than it would have been then, since I wouldn't have said anything about it six months ago... ;-) Guess that's a sign of progress, huh? It's a sign that I'm learning to trust her more. I already trust her at a certain level, but I know I still have that bit that holds back. I think saying something critical to her is a sign that that bit is starting to thaw a bit.
In fact, we talked a lot about trust today. Mostly about the new pdoc. She asked if I was any less frightened after seeing him a second time. Honestly? Not so's you'd notice... But I can feel that I'm starting to want to trust him, there's a bit of a thaw involved there, too.
You know, I think that may have been the part that I didn't manage to put into words today: I don't want to give my trust to this doctor, any more than I wanted to give my trust to my T. She earned my trust. I want him to earn my trust, too. And frankly? I don't think that's too much to ask.
Wow. That sounded as though I meant it. That almost convinced me that I thought I deserved it...
Posted by Daisym on October 26, 2006, at 23:55:12
In reply to I criticized my T today, posted by Racer on October 26, 2006, at 21:33:11
you go girl! Only...having met you, I just can't picture you in a wheelbarrow. :)
I think speaking up does mean you are trusting her more and more. And that relationship will help you built emotional muscle to stand up to other people, eventually. Or not be so frightened of wanting or needing something from anyone. You have every right to want/need/demand/whatever...and you are worth it!
I'm proud of you. Lots of hard work this week.
Posted by SatinDoll on October 27, 2006, at 20:04:04
In reply to Re: I criticized my T today » Racer, posted by Daisym on October 26, 2006, at 23:55:12
Good Job racer! I like what Daisy said. ;-) It takes trust to do what you did. A very good sign.
Posted by Dinah on October 28, 2006, at 11:41:41
In reply to I criticized my T today, posted by Racer on October 26, 2006, at 21:33:11
I think that's real progress. And I'm sure she saw it that way too.
My therapist would probably consider it progress if I ceased to criticize him. :)
Although honestly, I give him both positive and negative feedback. (Gee, that sounds so sterile and workmanlike. The negative feedback usually comes with sulking or anger, and the positive with sniffling.)
Posted by Racer on October 28, 2006, at 15:58:33
In reply to Re: I criticized my T today » Racer, posted by Daisym on October 26, 2006, at 23:55:12
> Only...having met you, I just can't picture you in a wheelbarrow. :)
How about a little red Radio Flyer wagon?
>
> Or not be so frightened of wanting or needing something from anyone. You have every right to want/need/demand/whatever...and you are worth it!
>You know, I'm very glad you mentioned this aspect. It's one that I hadn't thought of. You're right, in this case, I did tell her what I wanted/needed from her, as well as telling her she didn't give it to me.
That's actually quite frightening for me to consider. I guess I know what we can talk about next session, huh?
Thank you very, very much for pointing that out. I'm not sure my T would have caught that, either, and I think it's very important.
This is the end of the thread.
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