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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 13 to 37 of 37. Go back in thread:
Posted by muffled on September 25, 2006, at 15:25:33
In reply to :-( So this is the thing...., posted by muffled on September 24, 2006, at 18:47:18
I dunno what to do.
I think I got appt. tomorrow?
Not 100% sure. I was gonna confirm when my T called.
But then I start thinking, she had left me a message last time and I got scared to call back(a diff. story), so I sent her a fax saying sorry I didn't call back.
So THEN I go to appt, and it was weird, cuz she asked me if I got her message, I said yes, thats what the fax was about. So I dunno why she asked if I got her message? Mebbe she was wanting an apology face to face? I dunno?
So mebbe she didn't call this time cuz she was mad bout last time? Seems a bit of a stretch.....
Yet our last session we spent the whole time pretty much talking about why I was being a turtle bout things, and how it was ok to ask people for stuff. So I'd asked her to do something for me and she said ok, and she would call me back about it, but she hasn't....
So mebbe she mad????????????????????????????
WHY wouldn't she call me back?
HOW could she forget???????????????
I DON'T understand??????????????
I am confused????????????
I scared to call.
I dunno what to do?
Show up?
What if there's no appt? Then I will feel extra stupid and will have to punish myself somehow.
Even if I show up, what to say?
I AM SO FREAKING STUPID.
I am going in circles.
I am tired cuz I been sick. Thats not helping either.
I just wish someone would tell me what to do and I'll just do it cuz I got myself all mixed up now.
My T says stuff, but her actions don't follow.
Mebbe I confused for no reason.
STUPID me.
Now you all know why I think I must be wrecking my T.
Cuz I so dumb about stuff.
TELL ME WHAT TO DO?
I can't even cry, cuz I don't know how.
Freak.
Mufflefreak
Posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 15:30:12
In reply to so you wanna know bout STUPID???**RANT**:-(, posted by muffled on September 25, 2006, at 15:25:33
You are not a freak! Is it too late just to call to confirm? You are reading too much into this, really, you know your T cares. now say it! believe it!
Or happyflower will come over there and give you a kick in the butt! LOL or a hug which ever you rather have. Sorry I feel a little crazy today.
I am getting a cold, does airborn work? Need to by some kleenex. poopy darn
Posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 15:33:47
In reply to Re: so you wanna know bout STUPID???**RANT**:-(, posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 15:30:12
Posted by muffled on September 25, 2006, at 15:52:12
In reply to A loving kick of course, I couldn't ever hurt you (nm), posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 15:33:47
Ha HF you don't scare me! LOL.
I have a cold too. Yuk.
Toothache too. Yuk.
So meeb I am being ridiculous.
I proly wasn't very clear.
Lotsa times I don't think I am.
I know what I want to get across, but I don't say it right.
I just proly trying to blame T, when its no doubt my fault.
I am SO annoying.
Sigh.
I don't feel so good either.
Well mebbe I'll just get a good nights sleep and see what happens.
Thanks HF
Posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 16:51:57
In reply to Re: A loving kick of course, I couldn't ever hurt you » happyflower, posted by muffled on September 25, 2006, at 15:52:12
Yup! Get some sleep, I just woke up from a mini nap. (so beware I am getting my boots on on! )
If you can call her, just confirm, maybe before you go. It is a two way relationship, sometimes we have to kick their butts or call them if they forget. Just don't take it personally, it probably has nothing to do with you, she just had a brain f*rt, thats all. ;-) (don't we all?) LOL
Let us know how it goes, of course! I wish I was seeing my T this week! 1 week to go tomorrow! And you know what muffy, you make a whole lot more sense than a lot a people I know. Be strong! Be you!
((((Muffy) and a kick in the pants too! (don't know the symbol for that! LOL)
Posted by muffled on September 25, 2006, at 18:13:13
In reply to Re: A loving kick of course, I couldn't ever hurt you, posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 16:51:57
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 25, 2006, at 19:15:55
In reply to Re: A loving kick of course, I couldn't ever hurt you, posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 16:51:57
Muffled,
I just read this thread from top to bottom in one fell swoop.I LOVE the story about girl and T. I think that you narrate one possible ending, but there are a lot of possible endings. I'm not sure that the story is over yet, anyways.
I'm sorry that you can't figure out a way to confirm your appt for tomorrow. How about you wait until super-late- maybe midnight. And you write out a script:
"Hi, this is Muffled. I can't remember whether I have an appt at X oclock tomorrow. I am planning to come for my session at X oclock unless I hear otherwise from you. I look forward to seeing you later. Thanks. (click)"
I think you could have a really interesting chat about this story. Let me know how it goes. :)
And Happyflower- she's hilarious. I think I'd rather be on the "hug" side of happyflower than the "gentlykicking" side of happyflower. Plus, I heard she's athletic, and stuff. *YiKeS!*
I would love to have a Happyflower-Muffled-Lindenbluete (others too!) happy hour with mocktails and a cool bartender.
sigh...
that's what a girl needs sometime, huh?
Posted by muffled on September 25, 2006, at 20:08:37
In reply to Muffy, you're so cute, posted by Lindenblüte on September 25, 2006, at 19:15:55
Posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 20:48:33
In reply to HA! A cool BUFF bartender!!! LOL (nm) » Lindenblüte, posted by muffled on September 25, 2006, at 20:08:37
yeah with sexy legs too!
Posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 21:26:22
In reply to Re: HA! A cool BUFF bartender!!! LOL, posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 20:48:33
The bluest eyes that you have ever felt looking deeply into your eyes, the look, the look that he wants nobody but you! Yeah, I will have a double of that! LOL damn, I need to get laid someday, I am pathetic
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 26, 2006, at 8:04:10
In reply to AND!, posted by happyflower on September 25, 2006, at 21:26:22
We could nominate someone for bartender?
Mufflie- I'm totally hijacking your thread- you want me to create my own thread on Social?
Anyways, I used to know who, but they have all gone wrong: Val Kilmer is not the sexy beast he once was. Mel Gibson (the blue eyes, tortured Hamlet thing going on) now makes me sick... and? the other guys I'd like to serve me my mocktail with a twinkle in their eye are ... I haven't thought about this in a while... kind of a pleasant reverie... the guy from smallville has gorgeous eyes, but I dunno his sense of humor. Jon Stewart- yeah, he'd be a fun bartender. I like his dimple. Hmm. It's a little too early in the am to be fantasizing. lol
back to the grind!
-Li
Posted by muffled on September 26, 2006, at 9:42:26
In reply to nominations? volunteers? » happyflower, posted by Lindenblüte on September 26, 2006, at 8:04:10
No way, don't go away, I like fun.
Just on this board you goto mention T's once in awhile.
So lets let HF hunky T be the bartender!!!He can shrink us and bartend at the same time. He got good legs etc.
PERFECT!
Mufflie
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 26, 2006, at 10:31:24
In reply to Re: nominations? volunteers? » Lindenblüte, posted by muffled on September 26, 2006, at 9:42:26
Hmm, my ex-T might be a fun bartender, because he has a kind of wicked sense of humor. If you got for the super-fit, older man kind of thing, you might find him attractive. I think his style of bartending would probably be kind of brusque.
We don't DO cosmopolitans here. You want a bourbon or a scotch?
um. scotch.
and then he'd look at you like... isn't there more? don't you REALLY want scotch and soda on the rocks?
And you admit, well, yes I would like my scotch with soda on the rocks. Make it a double. And then he says-- look, you might as well tell me what you want, what's the worst thing that can happen?
-Li
I bet Curtm would be a fun bartender :) We have to be careful not to give him tips in the form of liquor, though. He might get kinda silly.
Posted by happyflower on September 26, 2006, at 12:02:23
In reply to Re: nominations? volunteers? » muffled, posted by Lindenblüte on September 26, 2006, at 10:31:24
You two just crack me up! ;-) My T would be fun, he is crazy, but he would have to drink along with us. We could have drinks and a side order of EMDR, what else could we want? Well you all know me, maybe one more thing, but that isn't allowed. LOL But it is his fault anyways, he told me the only way to get rid of obsessive thoughts is to flood your mind with it. Well it hasn't worked yet! HA!
Then we could all go for a ride on his motorcycle! brum brum! I can't help to think about the motorcycle when I see those black workout gloves he wears. AAUUUGGHHH! I think I need to get back to studying. LOL Man, I thought I was getting over this. lol
Posted by TherapyGirl on September 26, 2006, at 16:53:16
In reply to Re: nominations? volunteers? » Lindenblüte, posted by muffled on September 26, 2006, at 9:42:26
Just wanted to know if you had your appointment today and if so, what happened.
I've been thinking about you...
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 26, 2006, at 16:58:49
In reply to Re: How'd it go today?? » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on September 26, 2006, at 16:53:16
Uh oh,
I hope muffly didn't forget her appt. because she was having so much fun playing with the paper umbrellas and marachino cherry stems in our virgin mocktails...Mufflie,
how goes it?-Li
Posted by happyflower on September 26, 2006, at 21:03:57
In reply to Re: How'd it go today?? » TherapyGirl, posted by Lindenblüte on September 26, 2006, at 16:58:49
Posted by ElaineM on September 26, 2006, at 22:16:18
In reply to What happened? ((((Muffy))) (nm), posted by happyflower on September 26, 2006, at 21:03:57
Posted by muffled on September 26, 2006, at 23:02:05
In reply to Re: How'd it go today?? » TherapyGirl, posted by Lindenblüte on September 26, 2006, at 16:58:49
Thanks guys for asking. I feel honored.
So as usu. my T was nice as ever. She talked bout personalization, where the client picks up on a T being different and takes it upon themselves as that they done something wrong. When really, its just the T is human , has a life, and sometimes sensitive people tend to pick up on stuff.
I dunno if that made sense?
I can try again if anyone cares.
But she was pretty straight w/me I guess.
I wasn't with her :-(
She didn't even remember she said she'd call me, but really I am pretty sure she said she would get back to me bout something we had talked about.....
And she asked me if she hadn't returned any calls lately, cuz she'd been working at doing better at that, and I didn't have the heart to tell her....
I have this THING bout appearing stupid, and I have this THING about trying not to let others feel stupid.
She must have COMPLETELY forgot. And I dunno how? Cuz it was about a thing over the weekend, and she was supposed to ask somebody something and get back to me but she didn't. And I dunno how she forgot.
And I NOT mad. I just kinda sad.
And now I lied to her. Baldface lied.
Thats very bad.
Now I dunno WHAT to do cuz I feel stupider than ever.
God, I amaze myself w/my stupididness.
So I left feeling pretty good, cuz she good at that. But then I remebered bout the lie, and I feel thats a bad thing.
Ah, sh*t anyways.
Muffled
Posted by ClearSkies on September 27, 2006, at 5:47:58
In reply to Re: How'd it go today??, posted by muffled on September 26, 2006, at 23:02:05
I never want to tell my T anything negative about her. Whether she's distracted or misses my point sometimes, I just sit there and think, I guess she has other things on her mind today.
It makes me feel more invisible, and I haven't told her so. There is no way you are stupid, Muffy. It's probably a good word to eliminate from our vocabularies.
CS
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 27, 2006, at 7:58:16
In reply to Re: How'd it go today?? » muffled, posted by ClearSkies on September 27, 2006, at 5:47:58
Muffled,
you'll tell her the truth when you need to. For right now, just remember that she is trying to be a better T for you. If you want to feel good and nurtured after your session yesterday, then you deserve to! Don't question it. The important thing she was going to check on for you- well if it's still important, why not give her a call and ask her? Or, at your next meeting, you can ask her for advice on how you can be more honest about expressing your needs and expectations. Give her this little thing as an example. She might have some ways to help you overcome this fear of delivering bad news.It's not about anybody being stupid or bad or incompetent, it's just about people who slip into habits from time to time. You have a pretty entrenched habit- and it's not just with her, I'm guessing. So, use this little miscommunication as an opportunity. Don't judge yourself. T will provide a safe bubble so that you can work on this habit together.
-Li
(sounds like T has some habits that she's working on too? well, doesn't matter- worry about yours first. She can ask her own therapist about hers!)
Posted by TherapyGirl on September 27, 2006, at 8:30:24
In reply to Re: How'd it go today??, posted by muffled on September 26, 2006, at 23:02:05
I'm glad you went and that you mostly feel better. I don't think you should be so hard on yourself about not wanting to tell her she screwed up about the phone call -- it's hard to do that with anyone, much less our Ts. Could you bring it up next week or in a fax?
Posted by muffled on September 27, 2006, at 10:19:21
In reply to Re: How'd it go today?? » muffled, posted by ClearSkies on September 27, 2006, at 5:47:58
> I never want to tell my T anything negative about her. Whether she's distracted or misses my point sometimes, I just sit there and think, I guess she has other things on her mind today.
>
> It makes me feel more invisible, and I haven't told her so. There is no way you are stupid, Muffy. It's probably a good word to eliminate from our vocabularies.
> CS***Thanks CS.
Its funny how we are with our T's.
Glad to hear you got your 'things' too.
Makes me feel better.
The whole T thing is weird.
Yeah, stupid is a stupid word!
Ha!
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on September 27, 2006, at 10:28:19
In reply to Re: How'd it go today??, posted by Lindenblüte on September 27, 2006, at 7:58:16
> Muffled,
> you'll tell her the truth when you need to. For right now, just remember that she is trying to be a better T for you. If you want to feel good and nurtured after your session yesterday, then you deserve to! Don't question it. The important thing she was going to check on for you- well if it's still important, why not give her a call and ask her? Or, at your next meeting, you can ask her for advice on how you can be more honest about expressing your needs and expectations. Give her this little thing as an example. She might have some ways to help you overcome this fear of delivering bad news.***Truth is very important to me. VERY. I gonna have to tell her asap.
Yeah, wanna hear MORE dumd stuff??? Its nice to feel nurtured, but then I want more!!! LOL. I don't depend on nobody. So I don't want to get too attached. So its a bit of a prob.
Am I ridiculous or WHAT?
Thats funny you should say bout asking for stuff, thats what we working on now. I can ask on behalf of my kids and stuff, but not for myself. I still seem to have this deep seated self revulsion somewhere in me?
>
> It's not about anybody being stupid or bad or incompetent, it's just about people who slip into habits from time to time. You have a pretty entrenched habit- and it's not just with her, I'm guessing. So, use this little miscommunication as an opportunity. Don't judge yourself. T will provide a safe bubble so that you can work on this habit together.***Yeah, thats what she does....but its not so easy....
>
> (sounds like T has some habits that she's working on too? well, doesn't matter- worry about yours first. She can ask her own therapist about hers!)
>
***Yeah, she has hers too! I like that she's human. She has pretty loose boundaries, which in some ways is good, been good for me anyhow. But sometimes its confusing too.
Hope your T is a good one.
Take care,
Thanks,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on September 27, 2006, at 10:35:23
In reply to Re: How'd it go today?? » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on September 27, 2006, at 8:30:24
> I'm glad you went and that you mostly feel better. I don't think you should be so hard on yourself about not wanting to tell her she screwed up about the phone call -- it's hard to do that with anyone, much less our Ts. Could you bring it up next week or in a fax?
***Hey TG,
Yeah, I'll proly fax her.
The thing is, sometime when I stressed I blank out some, and sometimes I don't even know when I do it.
So I wonder, if in the stress of the moment, that I forgot, and that I might have told her to just forget it, because it was so painful for me and emabarassing, the whole thing. IRL, it wasn't a big deal, but for me it was HUGE. So mebbe I told her NOT to phone????
Mebbe I just wanted to remember that she was gonna phone cuz that was a nice thot?
Blanking SUCKS.
Cuz I just don't know.
And now I goto ask.
And I feel so petty.
And small.
But I ABHOR lies.
So I goto tell the truth, and she so nice, she'll proly not make me feel like a freak at all.....
Sigh.
Thanks for all your help TG, I appreciate it.
Muffled
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