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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on June 1, 2006, at 21:46:31
Dear Queen of Employment Losers:
Hanging in your closet are newly bought dress for success clothes, that you can't afford, for an interview you didn't get. Tags are still on. Receipts are in your purse. You know damn well that the entire outfit will go to charity with the tags still on because you will never, ever have a need to wear it. RETURN THEM!
Frankly, giving all your old dress for success clothes away because you thought they were cursed was a mistake, too. It's you, that is cursed. You cursed yourself when you made career the focus of your self esteem. You are such a loser that you didn't even set your career goal on being a movie director or film critic. Or Mrs. Cary Grant and not have to work.
All you want, all you need to be happy is, hold it- I'm laughing too hard to type, a job that uses your brain? Hee. Hee. Hee. That is hysterical. I suppose you want it to use your supposed skills, too? Stop, you're killing me. And you don't want to be bored? Oh, I'm in danger of wetting my pants. Stop it, seriously, stop it.
Your greatest fear is failure and your self esteem is based on career? Congratulations, loser, you are a career failure! Two hits in one.
What little career success you had was a fluke, you ain't getting it back. It isn't the clothes. It isn't someone else had more experience. It's YOU! You, you, you.
You don't care that you're nurturing to your cats and to your garden. Your T thinks that crap will create self esteem. She thinks these are valid reasons to stay alive? Hee. Hee. Hee.
You don't care that you have a husband who for some unknown reason loves you. All you want is that job and you will never, never, never get it. Your T keeps reminding you that your husband loves you and you keep reminding her that the key to happiness is complete financial independence. Not a series of lower and lower paying jobs with less responsibility. At this rate you will be the first person in history to get paid to watch paint dry. Well, now, that's success to be proud of.
Sarcasm is your one talent that you approve of. Bravo. There's a big market for sarcastic poets.
Would you like fries with that? How about prose?
Posted by annierose on June 1, 2006, at 22:27:46
In reply to Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull), posted by Poet on June 1, 2006, at 21:46:31
Will the real Poet please stand forward?
I've met a certain woman called Poet. She was warm and kind and friendly. I'm not sure who the person you are referring to in your post, but you must get her to listen to her husband and therapist. Maybe she has dust bunnies bouncing around in her earlobes. Please remove with care.
These "Dear me" posts are sad. They are making me sad. Why are you so hard on yourself? You are so special. Who do you inspire to be more like? Some automatic catatonic expressionless human? or a genuine, feeling, caring, sarcastic, witty, talented woman --- oh --- that's already you.
Please be gentle to Poet. She has had some rough patches in her life. She needs compassionate understanding. She wants you to love her, faults and all. She is going to keep those success clothes in her closet. She will apply for a job when the courage envelops her. Be patient. Good things come in time. They really will.
Posted by muffled on June 1, 2006, at 22:58:06
In reply to Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull), posted by Poet on June 1, 2006, at 21:46:31
Poet, take care. I like you.
I scared to give hugs right now.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why can't we beleive that we are worthy of love?
Ya, take care you,
Muffly
Posted by Daisym on June 2, 2006, at 1:38:00
In reply to Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull), posted by Poet on June 1, 2006, at 21:46:31
I beg to differ, my dear Poet.
I've seen your writings and you put words together in ways I can only hope to someday. You express your pain and your fear in an open and honest way here and we love you for showing us how to do it.
Jobs are important -- no doubt. But at the end of the day, it isn't written on your Tombstone "Here lies Poet - CEO." What is written is your name and dates - when you were born and when you died. Testimony that what is important is WHO you are and the fact that you lived. How you live is important. Waiting around for the right job isn't living.
If the career you envision isn't happening, work to pay the bills and find passion in something else. Volunteer (I wish I had people like you) -- go rock babies in the NICU, or read to a elderly person. Giving ourselves away is a sure-fire way to get it all back and more.
I know you have some sarcastic remark on the tip of your tongue. Go ahead, spit it out. And then try to see yourself through my eyes. I've got a pretty clear view.
Take care,
Daisy
Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2006, at 9:10:15
In reply to Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull), posted by Poet on June 1, 2006, at 21:46:31
Poet, I'm having my share of career troubles at the moment. Would you write to me that way?
And in the process of losing what I've always had, competence in my value at work, I have definitely discovered what your therapist is trying to tell you.
It's nice to have a job you enjoy, because you spend many hours at work.
But it pales in having a husband who loves you, someone to nurture, and yes, even a beautiful garden.
Posted by Poet on June 4, 2006, at 11:54:17
In reply to Re: Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull) » Poet, posted by annierose on June 1, 2006, at 22:27:46
Hi Annierose,
I'm sorry I made you sad. I am hard on myself because it is me who has to be screwing it up or I'd have that job by now. It's certainly not for lack of trying. And failing.
I returned the shoes and purse. The suit is still in plastic hanging in my closet. The blouses are in a bag. It's hard to find clothes that fit me and these do, so maybe I'll keep them. It's just so hard to optomistic when my track record proves otherwise.
Thanks for your kind comments and advice. Poet doesn't deserve to be gentle on herself right now, maybe someday she will.
Poet
Posted by Poet on June 4, 2006, at 11:57:31
In reply to Re: Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull) » Poet, posted by muffled on June 1, 2006, at 22:58:06
Hi Muffled,
I don't know why we do these things to ourselves, but we sure are pros at it, aren't we? I can be compassionate for other people, but not myself. Almost four years of therapy and I'm still as obsessed with this career thing as I was when I started. It's not my therapist- she tries. It's stubborn old me.
Thanks for your words of confidence. Now if I can only get myself to listen to something other than my negative thoughts. Sigh.
Poet
Posted by Poet on June 4, 2006, at 11:58:20
In reply to Re: Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull), posted by Poet on June 4, 2006, at 11:57:31
Posted by Poet on June 4, 2006, at 12:10:35
In reply to Re: Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull) » Poet, posted by Daisym on June 2, 2006, at 1:38:00
Hi Daisy,
I view myself only through my hazy eyes. I've never liked what I see or hear, so it's hard to try to see myself through your clear view.
This damn career thing has been an obsession for thirty years. It's why I got in therapy. It's came close to destroying me. You are so right that waiting for the right job isn't living. I just can't seem to find a distraction that works-gardening doesn't do it. Vacations don't do it. Taking classes doesn't do it. I've only volunteered through work related things (I know pathetic aren't I?)
You must be psychic because in therapy last week I told my T that if I were to have a tombstone it would read failure. Her sarcastic comeback was good thing you're being cremated. My sarcastic comeback was good thing my body is going to a medical college and they'll haul me out with the trash when they're done with me. I got one of her sighs for that one.Thanks for seeing something in me that I clearly (pun intended) don't. Maybe someday I can see myself differently. Maybe.
Poet
Posted by Poet on June 4, 2006, at 12:16:08
In reply to Re: Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull) » Poet, posted by Dinah on June 2, 2006, at 9:10:15
Hi Dinah,
I would never write to you how I write to myself. One of the things T is trying to drill into my head is that I can have compassion for others, which means I am capable of having compassion for myself.
I just can't seem to get over this career thing. I know, I'm a mess. I hope I can get into my head what my T and you and so many others are trying to tell me. I'm glad you discovered it. Maybe there's hope for negative old me.
Poet
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 4, 2006, at 16:54:25
In reply to Re: Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull) » annierose, posted by Poet on June 4, 2006, at 11:54:17
> Hi Annierose,
>
> I'm sorry I made you sad. I am hard on myself because it is me who has to be screwing it up or I'd have that job by now. It's certainly not for lack of trying. And failing.I feel compelled to interject. Finding a job is about timing. The job might be right for you, but someone else is already in it. Or you're looking over to your left, and a job was off to the right.
Timing is nobody's fault.
Opportunity is wasted on the unprepared. (Benjamin Franklin)
Well, I think that's a quote, and I think it was him that said it.
Don't forget to bring the twinkle in your eye with you, to those interviews. They may not remember you, except you made them laugh, or something equally as trivial, but that sets you apart. Dress for success, sure, but make them remember you.
Lar
Posted by Poet on June 5, 2006, at 10:39:18
In reply to Re: Dear, Cough, Poet (long, repetitive and dull) » Poet, posted by Larry Hoover on June 4, 2006, at 16:54:25
Hi Larry,
I've searched in every direction and been rejected in every direction.
I'm about to go back to school for the third time in hope that this time what I'm taking will be useful in getting a job that uses my brain.
I'll try to keep a twinkle in my eye. Thank you for injecting some optimism.
Poet
This is the end of the thread.
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