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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 2, 2006, at 9:15:11
Does anyone ever worry about their therapists age?
I don't consider my T to be old, but I would say she is in her early 60's. It's okay though because I like someone older. However.... I worry about something happening to her, and though I know that something can happen at any age, I do worry. I'm afraid to bring this up to her because I don't want it to seem like I'm calling her old, but I also wonder if people worry about their own mortality as they age, therefore I think it would be uncomfortable (or even depressing) for her if I were to bring it up. Though we've never spoke of any of this, she has told me that she is in excellent health and will still see me when she's 95. :)
However....
My uncle, who is about the same age as her, is now dying of cancer. A year ago, he was fine too... well, up until his dx. Now it's been a year of he**. Had a body scan this week and the cancer is just everywhere; there's nothing more they can do. That's it. I'm glad I saw him the other day, but I feel like I can't comprehend it all. He was always so active; loves to go fishing, has 2 boats, and just last year bought a huge RV. So I guess things can change rather quickly.I worry about my T every time I walk out her door, but I think seeing my uncle in this condition is triggering the feelings moreso. How do I bring this up to her? (while still being considerate of her feelings, which I know is not my job, but just the way I am.)
lgl
Posted by fairywings on February 2, 2006, at 9:29:10
In reply to Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger), posted by LittleGirlLost on February 2, 2006, at 9:15:11
i worry about my pdoc retiring, but i don't think he ever will. i worry about something happening to my t on a trip, like now - i forgot to tell him to have a good trip.
fw
Posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 12:44:29
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » LittleGirlLost, posted by fairywings on February 2, 2006, at 9:29:10
Hey LGL.
That post was so cool. Why don't you just print out a copy of that post.
There was absolutely nothing in it to offend her. It was just wonderful.
My husband is way older than me. I'm not exactly a spring chicken. But theres no guarantees at any age I'm afraid. I REALLY don't think your T will be even slightly offended about referances to her age. She knows how old she is.
Take care
Muffled
Posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 12:45:50
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » LittleGirlLost, posted by fairywings on February 2, 2006, at 9:29:10
Posted by frida on February 2, 2006, at 12:57:42
In reply to Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger), posted by LittleGirlLost on February 2, 2006, at 9:15:11
Hi...
Oh how I understand this.
I worry soooo much about my therapist's age. She's around 60,and I truly worry. She tells me all the time that she'll be an old lady and see me...but I often think about how much time I have with her, and it scares me to lose her. i haven't told her any of this, but it is scary to think about. Sometimes I find myself thinking about how much time I have with her, and it makes me very anxious, and it makes me feel I truly don't have that much time. I worry about something happening to her.
BUt she always tells me how fragile our lives are, and that there are no guarantees ever, at any age, and that's why I should focus on what we have now, and talk to her now, and tell her things now...
she somehow manages to calm me down about it...
but I do worry. I worry so much about losing her.I totally understand, I wouldn't exactly know how to tell her this, it's a bit difficult, but i think it only shows how much you care about her.
If I ever tell her, I'd tell her through sharing a dream, or a general comment first, or I'd try to find a way to tell her that is not so direct, but that's because I'm a disaster to share these feelings. But I think the best would be to tell her, she will be touched.
It's not offensive at all, just the contrary. It just shows how scared you are of losing her.and how important she is to youI think that there are no guarantees, it's true...and when I see at my T, I feel grateful that she's healthy and she's Ok. :-)
I'm rambling here, but I wanted to tell you I understand..Frida
Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 2, 2006, at 12:58:12
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » fairywings, posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 12:44:29
Hey Muffled, You made me smile when you said my post was cool. I don't know why, lol, maybe because I usually just feel like a big loser.
And you're right, I mean, she knows how old she is. I just wonder if roles were reversed.... would I want someone (young enough to be my daughter) emphasizing my age? I don't think so. (Though that's not what I'm doing, it's more of a comparison.) I don't know how I'll be at 60, but maybe hearing of someone my own age dying of a terminal illness, would freak me out... and make me feel even older. Though I have to admit, it also freaks me out now when I hear of people my age (and younger) dying now anyway. I guess I just don't know what it's like in the mind of a 60 year old. I'm sad and worried.
lgl
Posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 14:23:14
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » muffled, posted by LittleGirlLost on February 2, 2006, at 12:58:12
Hey I'm 40-something and my hubbys 60 something.
And REALLY when you get older its not a big deal.
your older but so what, just all the more reason to cherish the time that seems to zoom ever faster. And you get some weird kindof wisdom with age which for me is neat but I got a bad brain so I just love feeling wise!!!!HA!
I don't think its gonna bug her.
Really I don't.
Your post was worded so beutifully.
I would be honored to receive such thots of that someone cares that much about me.
Anyhow, gotta run, not getting any younger y'know!!!!!
Muffled
Posted by happyflower on February 3, 2006, at 1:53:21
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » LittleGirlLost, posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 14:23:14
Hey, Muffy, I am married to an old f*cker too! LOL I am 30something and he is 50 something. LOL I need a new f*cker, because my old f*cker, doesn't desire to f*ck anymore and it isn't becasue he physically can't either. He is just an old f*rt. LOL
p.s. If ya aint Muffy, you shouldn't have read this! LOL :)
Posted by muffled on February 3, 2006, at 13:28:00
In reply to For Muffy's eyes only! LOL » muffled, posted by happyflower on February 3, 2006, at 1:53:21
> Hey, Muffy, I am married to an old f*cker too! LOL I am 30something and he is 50 something. LOL I need a new f*cker, because my old f*cker, doesn't desire to f*ck anymore and it isn't becasue he physically can't either. He is just an old f*rt. LOL
> p.s. If ya aint Muffy, you shouldn't have read this! LOL :)**ROFL ITIPMP!!!!
Yeah my old f*cker is a good guy. Has plenty of faults , but I love him anyways!!! My old f*cker still like f*cking.
Its me that don't care!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well!
Thanks for the laffs Happy, feels good!
Love your sense of humour!
Muffled
Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 4, 2006, at 0:40:57
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » LittleGirlLost, posted by fairywings on February 2, 2006, at 9:29:10
Thanks for your input, fw. I'm sorry you feel the same way, but it helps to know I'm not alone. Neither are you! :)
lgl
Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 4, 2006, at 0:56:33
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » LittleGirlLost, posted by frida on February 2, 2006, at 12:57:42
> I totally understand, I wouldn't exactly know how to tell her this, it's a bit difficult, but i think it only shows how much you care about her.
> It's not offensive at all, just the contrary. It just shows how scared you are of losing her.and how important she is to you
Frida,
Thanks, you brought up some good points. Unfortunately I wasn't able to tell her any of this when I saw her last night... too much going on with my vacation and stuff. I hope I can bring it up when I get back. I think seeing my uncle in his condition is scaring me that it could be her... I just don't want to scare her though either. I think that is part of my worry with the age thing. But like your T says, our lives are fragile and there are no guarantees at any age...
I quoted your 2 lines above because I also wanted to comment on something else. I always tend to shy away from saying something that would reveal how much I care for her. Maybe it's because my family is (and always was) cold and distant, and positive feelings just were not expressed to one another, but I am embarrassed to admit just how important she is to me... like I'm not supposed to feel that way, or I'm bad or something... or if I really like something it will get taken away from me...
Yeah I think I need to talk to her about this...
lgl
Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 4, 2006, at 1:02:43
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » LittleGirlLost, posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 14:23:14
> I don't think its gonna bug her.
> Really I don't.
> Your post was worded so beutifully.
> I would be honored to receive such thots of that someone cares that much about me.Thanks Muffled. :)
I get what you're saying... so why do I feel like it's bad or wrong to care so much about someone?lgl
Posted by muffled on February 4, 2006, at 13:19:22
In reply to Re: Ever worry about T's age? (may trigger) » muffled, posted by LittleGirlLost on February 4, 2006, at 1:02:43
> > I don't think its gonna bug her.
> > Really I don't.
> > Your post was worded so beutifully.
> > I would be honored to receive such thots of that someone cares that much about me.
>
> Thanks Muffled. :)
> I get what you're saying... so why do I feel like it's bad or wrong to care so much about someone?
>
> lgl***I can't imagine love is wrong.
I have issius myself about letting myself connect with others so I not much help with that sort of stuff.
She must be a real nice lady.
Mebbe more at isssue is the fears you have.
I dunno really.
You a good person LGL.
Take care of yourself
Muffled
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