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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by antigua on February 3, 2006, at 8:35:02
I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go from here, after telling my mother about my father abusing me when I was little. I do notice that it has let me think more negatively of him, something which is kind of new.
I saw my T this week and said, "I guess we're done now, right?" She just kind of laughed and said, "Well, I would like to see you again," which made me feel better. I don't panic at the thought of giving her up, well maybe I do a little, but I think I might have gotten as far as I can in therapy. There is still one huge, dark memory that I can't access, but since I've tried everything, I think I can live w/o knowing. As long as I don't emesh myself with stupid men that remind me of my father, I think I will be o.k.
Maybe the thought of termination is just too scary. My T told me once that termination could take 10 years! I think she was just being nice.
I do need to get a job now w/college looming next year for my oldest, so maybe we can work on that.
I feel good, but I'm so afraid of new demons that may surface.
best to all,
antigua
Posted by Daisym on February 3, 2006, at 10:09:52
In reply to Now what?, posted by antigua on February 3, 2006, at 8:35:02
I have to go sit in an all day meeting with some folks from Delaware (?) but I wanted to say that your post strikes me that perhaps you (and me) don't really know how to live without fear and walls and automatic secrecy about things. This will take some getting use to. We wait for more bad things to happen that we have to be stoic about. Perhaps you need to work on how you live each day without anticipating those bad things.
And then tell me how to do that, OK?
I love your tulips analogy. I want to borrow it. I'm gonna plant some right under my office window. Thanks for that.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by muffled on February 3, 2006, at 13:13:18
In reply to Now what?, posted by antigua on February 3, 2006, at 8:35:02
> I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go from here, after telling my mother about my father abusing me when I was little. I do notice that it has let me think more negatively of him, something which is kind of new.
***yet sounds appropriate?
>
> I saw my T this week and said, "I guess we're done now, right?" She just kind of laughed and said, "Well, I would like to see you again," which made me feel better. I don't panic at the thought of giving her up, well maybe I do a little, but I think I might have gotten as far as I can in therapy. There is still one huge, dark memory that I can't access, but since I've tried everything, I think I can live w/o knowing. As long as I don't emesh myself with stupid men that remind me of my father, I think I will be o.k.
***sounds like you've learned alot on your journey :-)
I have a dark thing too. But my toughie2 has it I think. An its the protector and not around much. So I doubt I will ever know. I'm starting to accept that. Its a little worrisome when you get that sudden flash of feelings. But I have found that they go away. So I guess thats OK. I can live with that.
>
> Maybe the thought of termination is just too scary. My T told me once that termination could take 10 years! I think she was just being nice.
***she sounds real nice
>
> I do need to get a job now w/college looming next year for my oldest, so maybe we can work on that.
***cool. I don't think I could get a job right now. It would sure be nice to earn some money though! Make me feel more useful or something.
>
> I feel good, but I'm so afraid of new demons that may surface.
***With the way you write I think you gonna be just fine. And life is full of sh*t. We just got to deal with it as it comes, thats all. And you have lotsa new tools that you have learned to use to deal with the sh*t that comes. I dunno if I talking to you or me! Guess its both.
>
> best to all,
> antiguaTake care Antigua.
Muffled
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2006, at 17:23:16
In reply to Now what?, posted by antigua on February 3, 2006, at 8:35:02
You sound like you're giving this a lot of thought. I'm sure that when you decide to ease off on therapy, it will be because it's time.
And of course, termination doesn't have to be permanent. So if there be demons lurking below the surface, you can always seek help in dealing with them.
I think it's great that you're ready to think in these terms.
Posted by fairywings on February 3, 2006, at 18:11:30
In reply to Now what?, posted by antigua on February 3, 2006, at 8:35:02
Gosh antigua, sometimes acknowledging those things is just the beginning of healing, and dealing with those negative feelings can get rough. Does your T know about the dark memory? Take your time weaning off therapy, there's no rush.
fw
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