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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on October 10, 2005, at 12:59:47
Hey guys,
I haven't posted since a few weeks ago when I was dealing with some intense sexual/childhood needs stuff (two separate (???) things).
I started using drugs a lot since then and have completely detached from therapy. We've talked about how the stuff we were talking about kind of drove me to use drugs so that I could stop feeling so needy and dependent on her. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm doing this.
And now I really want to take a break. The reason (and I really really believe this *is* the reason, even if that doesn't sound credible to you guys) is that my insurance is running out and I'm going to have to switch, and because of the new deductible, I essentially have no insurance coverage for therapy for November and December. So it makes sense to me to take a break, or at least severely cut back during that time.
My T said today that she didn't think such a break was "clinically indicated" -- can you believe she used that therapist jargon on me???? :) I actually thought it was cute. But I think it's fine for me to stop. I plan to go back full-force in January.
What do y'all think? I'm probably giving too abbreviated a version of what's been going on with me, because if I required myself to give you the whole, long, ugly story I would just not post at all. I'm reaching out to you all from my drug-infested haze. Help?
Posted by lookdownfish on October 10, 2005, at 17:02:22
In reply to Considering a two-month therapy pause, posted by crushedout on October 10, 2005, at 12:59:47
hi crushed. haven't been around here for ages myself. I guess there is not much point going to see her if you're feeling detached from therapy...but... my instinct would be to hang in there and try to reconnect with her and sort it out *with* her instead of away from her. Bummer about the insurance though.
Of course the obvious therapist line is that you are taking a break to avoid the difficult stuff and you are using the drugs for the same reason. I guess it's most likely true though. There is a risk that you will get so far away from her that you won't feel like going back, even if you are in a state where you need to. good luck, take care.
Posted by orchid on October 10, 2005, at 17:18:48
In reply to Considering a two-month therapy pause, posted by crushedout on October 10, 2005, at 12:59:47
Instead of stopping all together, I would think you might want to check in with her once a month atleast to keep the continuity.
That way, you will probably not pay too much, plus you will get atleast minimal supervision.
If money wasn't that much of an issue, I would think you need to go full force. But if it is an issue, then atleast once a month might be good.
What do you think?
Posted by mair on October 10, 2005, at 18:52:44
In reply to Considering a two-month therapy pause, posted by crushedout on October 10, 2005, at 12:59:47
I think money is a perfectly legitimate reason. A number of years ago, I way cut down on my therapy when I lost some benefits. (I maxxed out). I told myself that I was just sick of therapy and sick of my pdoc, and I felt that way, but I also think my ambivalent feelings were fueled by the cost.
Let's face it - many of us are in therapy at least in part because of the difficulty we have handling the stresses of everyday life. Money is definitely a stressor for most of us.
mair
Posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2005, at 6:50:35
In reply to Considering a two-month therapy pause, posted by crushedout on October 10, 2005, at 12:59:47
It sounds to me like you are running away from some difficult topics. I'm sorry that they are so hard for you.
I'm concerned about your drug use, and what will happen to that if you don't have therapy.
Personally, I hope that you can keep going to therapy and try to work this out with her. Even if that means asking your parents to help pay etc (I'm 48 and I still ask my parents to help pay sometimes...)
I'm worried about you. I think you need more support right now, not less.
(((Crushed)))
Falls.
Posted by Dinah on October 11, 2005, at 9:21:31
In reply to Considering a two-month therapy pause, posted by crushedout on October 10, 2005, at 12:59:47
I sort of think therapy breaks are good in theory. But I'm not sure they're good under the circumstances you're describing. Perhaps you could cut down frequency, and try throwing yourself into a healthy distraction (I'm planning a home to build), but try to think about what your motivations are before you decide.
That being said, it wouldn't be an irrevocable decision.
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on October 11, 2005, at 11:00:12
In reply to Considering a two-month therapy pause, posted by crushedout on October 10, 2005, at 12:59:47
It sounds like you have talked abt this some w/ your T already, but I would encourage you to ask for her help some more. Lay everything out: My insurance will only pay for X sessions for the rest of the year. I can't afford more than that. I am struggling w/ drug use and some of my (babble) friends are worried about the idea of me completely stopping therapy for 2 months. Is there a way that we could figure out how to maximize my time and money here? A way to spread sessions out so that I could stay in treatment but still have enough money for food?
Just some thoughts. Hope something helps.
Best,
EE
Posted by crushedout on October 11, 2005, at 12:21:18
In reply to Re: Considering a two-month therapy pause » crushedout, posted by lookdownfish on October 10, 2005, at 17:02:22
hi ldf. i've missed you. welcome back.yeah, i think you're right that i'm avoiding stuff, but i'm avoiding it with the drugs anyway, and when i go to therapy, i have no access to any of the feelings -- maybe not *no* access, but very limited access -- to the feelings we were talking about before. so, it seems kind of pointless to be there until i stop with the drugs.
i guess there's a big part of me that thinks it's pointless anyway. and that's why i'm doing this to myself.
but the money's a real issue. i think some kind of compromise, like people have suggested, is probably wise.
thanks for writing. it's nice to see you here.
crushed
> hi crushed. haven't been around here for ages myself. I guess there is not much point going to see her if you're feeling detached from therapy...but... my instinct would be to hang in there and try to reconnect with her and sort it out *with* her instead of away from her. Bummer about the insurance though.
> Of course the obvious therapist line is that you are taking a break to avoid the difficult stuff and you are using the drugs for the same reason. I guess it's most likely true though. There is a risk that you will get so far away from her that you won't feel like going back, even if you are in a state where you need to. good luck, take care.
Posted by crushedout on October 11, 2005, at 12:33:10
In reply to Re: Considering a two-month therapy pause » crushedout, posted by orchid on October 10, 2005, at 17:18:48
I think you make sense, orchid. I might even do twice a month, or once a week. Right now I'm at 3x/week (well, 2x, but one's a double), so even going down to once a week will be an enormous loss.
Posted by crushedout on October 11, 2005, at 12:38:07
In reply to Re: Considering a two-month therapy pause » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2005, at 6:50:35
Thanks, falls. Your caring, as always, means a lot to me.I guess you're right that I need support. I think my biggest concern is that I won't go back if I get too distant from her. But the problem is, is that when I do go now, I don't feel much connection to her. And it feels very uncomfortable and not productive at all. And it's a huge amount of money to spend to just fidget and wince.
(I just made that up.)
But I'm coming to the conclusion that some kind of compromise--cutting back but not pausing completely--is probably best for me right now, considering all the factors.
Knowing that your parents help pay for your therapy sometimes really helps! I feel very bad about the idea of asking my parents, because I'm 34 and have been self-sufficient for 12 years. But maybe sometimes one really just needs to ask for help and that's not so bad. They live for that sh*t anyway (my parents, that is). I guess I'm worried that they will worry about me, because I need therapy so much. But they already know I'm in therapy and that's just how it is.
Posted by crushedout on October 11, 2005, at 12:39:28
In reply to Re: Considering a two-month therapy pause, posted by crushedout on October 11, 2005, at 12:21:18
Posted by crushedout on October 11, 2005, at 12:41:34
In reply to first post was for lookdownfish (nm), posted by crushedout on October 11, 2005, at 12:39:28
I'm taking myself on an adventure, for three days. I'm not sure I will bring my computer, or whether the hotel where I'm staying will have internet.As I type this, I'm thinking I should definitely take my computer.
But it's so freakin' heavy and I'm taking the bus.
Anyway, if you don't hear from me, that's why. I love you all! I really do.
Posted by Tamar on October 11, 2005, at 17:08:02
In reply to I'll be gone for three days, posted by crushedout on October 11, 2005, at 12:41:34
(((((Crushed)))))
I hope your adventure helps. I will admit I’m rather worried about you because of your ‘self-medicating’. I do it too… and I know that while it can blank out some of the pain it can raise other problems…
It sounds as if things are really hard at the moment. I'm sorry. I know when I was in therapy I wanted to feel closer to my therapist and I wanted to push him away at the same time. Maybe you're experiencing a similar ambivalence? I know it hurts. A lot. And if a few days off will give you the opportunity to think about it, perhaps that’s a good thing… But I suspect you need to talk about it too. Too much thinking and no talking can hurt even more. Are you going to be alone? Will you be able to talk to friends while you’re away?
> Anyway, if you don't hear from me, that's why. I love you all! I really do.
I love you too. Please take good care of yourself.
Tamar
Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 1:03:52
In reply to Considering a two-month therapy pause, posted by crushedout on October 10, 2005, at 12:59:47
Hi crushed,
Have you been able to cut back on the drugs? I think money is legit reason to cut back on therapy, but if your parents are willing and able, and long, to do that for you, then maybe that's a better alt. if you're still struggling with drugs and all the other stuff you've been dealing with. If, on the other hand, you know deep down you're just running away from the issues you need to face, then staying in therapy is probably best.
I hope your adventure is fun, and that you stay safe.
fw
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