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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
...gives a freedom i didn't have before.
i DID IT!
ok, friday was better after session. after talking even more about what's happened to me. i decided now that i have a little of my head wrapped slightly around what's happened i thought it;s time to tell my hubby. Now i will NEVER talk about what happened when i was little but decided to tell him about the rape and SA when i was 16. I asked my T if i could borrow something from his office to hold with me when i told.(he said absolutely :)
anyway, first i was going to tell friday but chickened out, decided i should tell sunday that way i have T appt monday, only one day of awkwardness.
HOWEVER, saturday my hubby saw my new cuts on my leg and freaked out again. i started to get some suicidal thoughts and related them to the stress of needing to tell my hubby. later that night he went outside to sit and have a beer, i joined (but no beer) i held tightly onto that object and asked if he wanted to know what's been hurting me. he said YES, YES just tell me.
i said it very straitforward. not detailed (not comfortable with that), but he didn't ask. he only asked a few questions, like did he know the guy, how old was i, stuff like that.
i feel Great that i Finally did that. and he understands a little more now.ok, after all the bad cr*p i've put on you guys i had to share my one little victory.
there's almost a release about saying it outloud to someone other than my T. i can say it, i admit it, it happened, there it is in all it's uglyness.i think my biggest fear of telling my husband is that he's an open book and we jokingly call him CNN cuz he tells everything to his family. i had to wait until i was ready for (at least) his mother to know, cuz it would never stay with just him. that's just not how he is.
anyway, i'm comfortable enough for Her to know but NOT, ABSOLUTELY NOT MY family and i layed the rules out.
i can only pray he respects that. i hope he will, since i even told him it's ok if he tells his mom just no one else.ok, there it is....my weekend.
-LOVE YOU GUYS
b2c.
Posted by AuntieMel on July 25, 2005, at 12:51:20
In reply to I did it Guys! it almost..., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
I bet you feel a lot better yourself, too. Especially because he was accepting.
It helps (once he's had time to digest) for him, too, because now he understands you better.
Maybe in the not too distant future you will be able to tell him more.
Posted by bent on July 25, 2005, at 13:28:12
In reply to I did it Guys! it almost..., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
Good Job! It has been my experience that the more we talk about these secrets, the less power they have over us. You should be proud of the bravery and strength you have.
Posted by pinkeye on July 25, 2005, at 13:55:28
In reply to I did it Guys! it almost..., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
I am proud of you.. It takes a huge courage to tell your husband about things like that. And I hope he is going to be supportive about it with you. It might put his mind at ease a bit about your self hurting also.. Atleast he would know why you are affected so much..
I still don't have the courage to tell my husband about the problems I had with my father.. But I want them to have a good relationship with each other, and if I tell him this, my husband would be completely angry with my father. And I can't take it.
Posted by antigua on July 25, 2005, at 15:28:16
In reply to Great!! » B2chica, posted by pinkeye on July 25, 2005, at 13:55:28
Posted by Damos on July 25, 2005, at 17:04:20
In reply to I did it Guys! it almost..., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
Wow B2, that is so huge. Can only imagine how much strength and courage that took. I'm just so incredibly proud of you. Really hope this helps you and hubby come even closer together in all kinds of good ways
Posted by Poet on July 25, 2005, at 18:00:30
In reply to I did it Guys! it almost..., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
B2chica,
That is a big victory. You're feeling okay that your husband knows and also okay with his mother knowing.
I've never admitted any CSA at any age to my husband. I'm not even close to going there, but your being able to gets me a little step closer.
Poet
Posted by happyflower on July 25, 2005, at 18:49:25
In reply to I did it Guys! it almost..., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
Good job, B2! You should give yourself a big hug. That took a lot of courage and you did it. I hope your DH will be able to understand you better now and maybe be able to help you through it some. Great Job!
Posted by ghost on July 25, 2005, at 20:42:11
In reply to I did it Guys! it almost..., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
good for you!!! i hope things start to improve with him now that he knows. and good for you for being able to say it.
*lots of love*
ghost
Posted by Shortelise on July 26, 2005, at 0:10:43
In reply to I did it Guys! it almost..., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2005, at 10:46:03
Chica, well done well done! They say the truth will set us free.
(((B2chica)))
ShortE
Posted by B2chica on July 26, 2005, at 9:44:54
In reply to Great!! » B2chica, posted by pinkeye on July 25, 2005, at 13:55:28
>> I still don't have the courage to tell my husband about the problems I had with my father.. But I want them to have a good relationship with each other, and if I tell him this, my husband would be completely angry with my father. And I can't take it.
that's EXACTLy why i'm not comfortable saying what happened when i was younger. my husband would hate my (family member) and it would be so awkward and terrible for him not to mention he'd never hold his tongue and i'm not ready (now or ever) for my family to know.anyway, sorry bout my soapbox.
thanks so much for the kind words.
b2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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