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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 6 to 30 of 30. Go back in thread:
Posted by Daisym on May 3, 2005, at 9:59:20
In reply to And the funding verdict is..., posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2005, at 23:56:30
((((Alexandra))))
I'm really sorry. Take a breath. Give yourself a day and then work on another solution. I'm sure it seems hopeless in the midst of the crisis. It isn't. Hang in there.
Posted by Shortelise on May 3, 2005, at 11:25:25
In reply to And the funding verdict is..., posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2005, at 23:56:30
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 3, 2005, at 11:29:50
In reply to And the funding verdict is..., posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2005, at 23:56:30
> Declined.
> And there it is.And a gi-normous sh*t on them.
{{{{{{{{Alex}}}}}}}}
Posted by B2chica on May 3, 2005, at 11:54:02
In reply to Re: And the funding verdict is... » alexandra_k, posted by Larry Hoover on May 3, 2005, at 11:29:50
Could NOT have said it better myself.
(((((((alexk)))))))))))
>
> And a gi-normous sh*t on them.
>
> {{{{{{{{Alex}}}}}}}}
>
Posted by whirlpool on May 3, 2005, at 14:01:38
In reply to And the funding verdict is..., posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2005, at 23:56:30
So sorry to hear that. There must be some other solution. Hang in there.
Posted by Damos on May 3, 2005, at 17:05:01
In reply to And the funding verdict is..., posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2005, at 23:56:30
No way! Aw Alex I'm so sorry, it's just not right and it's just not fair.
I think Lar came closest to expressing my feeling.
((((((((((Alex))))))))))
Posted by 10derHeart on May 3, 2005, at 17:58:57
In reply to And the funding verdict is..., posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2005, at 23:56:30
CRAP. SHEEEIIITE. Wrong. Rude. Inhuman and stupid
Idiotic rules and such.Like everyone said, take a moment, or a day or so.
Breathe and babble to us.
Don't go away, dear girl.
I'll be honest - I don't fully understand the system and the way it's mucking you over...
I don't know what the next step is?
Are you talking to your pdoc?
But, but, you CANNOT give up.
Hang in, alex, hang on.
It's soooooooo NOT about you as a person.
((((((((((((alex)))))))))))))
Posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 18:46:21
In reply to Re: And the funding verdict is... » alexandra_k, posted by 10derHeart on May 3, 2005, at 17:58:57
The US is out. It was only an option if I got accepted to school over there and I didn't so that is that.
I can appeal.
I had a chat to the district inspector when I was in hospital. She is basically a lawyer who is independent (even though she is funded by the district health board) to help people who are sectioned under the mental health act for compulsory assessment and treatment. She said that she had to be careful, though, as it is beyond her role to assist someone who isn't sectioned under the mental health act.
She said that they couldn't do that because people do have a right to treatment - so they do have to fund external treatment if there isn't treatment available from within the service (which there isn't).
She wrote to the funding person and said that I was going to appeal the decision which means that I need to write to the high comissioner. I need some kind of letter from the funding people to say that the funding has been declined and need their reasons.
Once I get the letter then there is another lawyer that I am supposed to contact so I can write an appropriate letter to the high comissioner (one that makes reference to the relevant laws / precedents). From there there will be an inquirey. At the end of the inquirey a new determination will be made by a committee.
That whole process can take up to two years. That is what the district inspector told me.
P-doc said it shouldn't take that long. That it tends to take that long when a client claims that a p-doc mismanaged their case which involves a lot of interviewing and file reading as part of the inquirey. In my case there is the assessment, the fact that there isn't anyone to treat me in the service, and the fact that there is someone in private practice, along with my right to treatment. So he figures that one shouldn't take them too long. But then he is known for providing false hope. So I don't know.
The district inspector made it sound to me like there wasn't a hope in my case (given that I'm not going to be hanging around for the next 3 years) but that it was a worthwhile thing to do with respect to setting precedent for others.
I don't know.
I think the lawyer probably was more honest with me than p-doc.
I don't know.
Posted by anastasia56 on May 3, 2005, at 18:58:41
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone., posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 18:46:21
coming in on the middle of this so bear with me.
Is this funding for therapy for you? And if so, are they deeming you not in dire enough need to qualify?
Posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 20:40:21
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » alexandra_k, posted by anastasia56 on May 3, 2005, at 18:58:41
> coming in on the middle of this so bear with me.
Sure.
> Is this funding for therapy for you?
Yeah. The public service offers CBT. That is all. I have been dx with DID and CBT isn't suitable for that. There isn't anyone in the service with any experience / interest in treating DID so I am fairly much told 'we don't have anyone to treat you'. So I get nothing. That seems to be the upshot.
>And if so, are they deeming you not in dire enough need to qualify?
They are just saying that they don't have anyone from within the service to treat me. Someone with experience in treating DID has been found in the community. Her rates aren't bad (but still beyond my budget). They are about half that of what it would be to see a clinical psychologist in private practice and maybe a quarter or a third of what it would be to see a private psychiatrist.
So we were trying to get the public service to fund my treatment with an external treatment provider since there isn't anyone suitable from within the service.
But the funding application has been turned down.
My p-doc said that it is very strange because it is cheaper for me to see this external provider than it is for them to pay for someone (a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist) from within the service to see me.
That they spent about half of what I need for one year of therapy on my last inpatient admission which was only required because of the stress that I had DUE TO THE BLOODY FUNDING / TREATMENT ISSUE.
But the inpatient / outpatient budget is different so they don't care about the latter point. And with respect to the former some money is still more than no money - which is what they get if they simply refuse to fund internal or external treatment.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
Posted by anastasia56 on May 3, 2005, at 21:02:34
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » anastasia56, posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 20:40:21
good lord talk about your muckity muck situation. Interesting and good that you can appeal a decision. Bad on the lengthliness of the process. Any extraneous codicils for 'cases of urgency'?
Over here, when a person falls into a highly unfair situation they go to the news people on tv. If broadcast the offending party usually antes up with the requested services/product etc. to avoid looking like the bad guy.
ana
Posted by Damos on May 3, 2005, at 21:38:41
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone., posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 18:46:21
Oh brother my GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! factor is way out of control now. Just can't believe the BS they go on with and the damage they don't seem to realise that they're doing.
Holding you in my heart kiddo.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 22:54:27
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone., posted by anastasia56 on May 3, 2005, at 21:02:34
> Over here, when a person falls into a highly unfair situation they go to the news people on tv. If broadcast the offending party usually antes up with the requested services/product etc. to avoid looking like the bad guy.
Yeah. But then I get to look like the crazy person and all of NZ will know about my dx. No thanks.
I don't really think there is any more I can do.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 22:57:36
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » alexandra_k, posted by Damos on May 3, 2005, at 21:38:41
I don't know it is if they don't realise or if they don't care.
Probably the latter. Because I have gone on... and on... about the former.
But right now I don't get anything.
Not seeing p-doc again.
He said he is putting through a reccomendation that someone work with me.
That could be a key-worker.
A p-doc.
Very unlikely to be a psychologist.
Apparantly the wait list to see a community psychiatrist is around 6 months at the moment.
Most likely to be 'ring me if you need to' by a key worker I know.
So he can give me the 'go and practice your skills' or 'what do you expect me to do' speech?
No thank you.
Posted by anastasia56 on May 3, 2005, at 23:05:31
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » anastasia56, posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 22:54:27
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 4, 2005, at 21:34:04
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » Damos, posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 22:57:36
Alex, am I remembering correctly that you have another application in for a university in the US that you'll hear about in the summer or early fall? Not that our mental health care here is by any means perfect, but I think you would have a better chance of getting good, intensive, long-term treatment here than at home. I'm shocked at how hard you've tried, and how very little has been forthcoming for you.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 4, 2005, at 23:39:05
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » alexandra_k, posted by Pfinstegg on May 4, 2005, at 21:34:04
> Alex, am I remembering correctly that you have another application in for a university in the US that you'll hear about...
Already heard.
Didn't get in.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 5, 2005, at 1:29:37
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » Pfinstegg, posted by alexandra_k on May 4, 2005, at 23:39:05
And there it is.
I have decided.
Assessment is fairly subjective anyway
Based mostly on self report.
At least it is for the range of dx that have been considered in my case.
Don't report that anymore and the problem is gone
'No longer meets criteria'.
I mean.
If I can get a MDE based on a hospital admission
And my self report of not feeling too good for a while
Then I can surely get no MDE
By keeping my damned mouth shut.
If I can get BPD by studying the symptoms
And emphasisting things in that light
And no longer meeting the criteria for BPD
By denying those symptoms
And get DID based on self report
Then I shall just keep my damned mouth shut and there it is.
Cured.
Hurrah.
I do think...
I do think a lot of the time
That all of this...
All of these dx are just a load of sh*t.
MDE untill that goes on and on
Solely on the basis of my repeatedly saying
'I am not okay'.
Then BPD.
And what about this last 'revelation'.
The f*cking system PRODUCES this sh*t in people.
The lengths some people will go to to try and get
A little help.
That was all I wanted.
Someone who could shut up with lecturing me
And actually listen
And be there.
But that is too much to ask
'not in my job description'
Apparantly.
And there it is.I'm not going to get treatment.
It simply isn't an option for the next 5 years or so.
And I just have to accept that.Well...
I could probably get treatment sooner.
But that would involve giving up on the places where I most want to study.
Should I pick to study somewhere just because treatment is an option for me if I go there?
No.
I don't believe so.
Of course I could just give up.
Stay here.
Wait two years or however long.Is that what they want me to do?
Is that what they are trying to drive me to?
Like they drove me to MDE?
BPD?
DID?But that is cutting off ones nose to spite ones face.
Had enough now.
I'm cured.
No longer meet the criteria for sh*t.
I promise.
Posted by Dinah on May 5, 2005, at 3:02:08
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » Pfinstegg, posted by alexandra_k on May 4, 2005, at 23:39:05
I'm so sorry, Alexandra.
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 5, 2005, at 6:38:38
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on May 5, 2005, at 3:02:08
I'm so sorry, too, Alex.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 5, 2005, at 23:18:32
In reply to Re: I'm cured, posted by alexandra_k on May 5, 2005, at 1:29:37
I know it isn't that simple
(or everyone would be doing it)
I'll be okay.
Really.
Thanks for bearing with me through all this.
I know it is hard to do that when there isn't really anything people can do...
But I know you guys are here and you guys care
And that means the world to me.I'll be okay.
I don't feel hopeless about my life
(funnily enough).
I think I am starting to realise that it is the constant fight to try and get treatment that keeps all that crap at the forefront of my mind and makes it hard.
But now I don't have to see p-doc everyweek
Where I tend to just get upset about not having MORE
Now I can fairly much just forget about all that sh*t.
But I can still talk about stuff thats upsetting me or hard for me or whatever and I can talk about that here.
So it isn't like I don't have people to talk to about that stuff.I think I will
really
be ok.
Posted by anastasia56 on May 6, 2005, at 0:00:06
In reply to Re: Sorry for the outburst..., posted by alexandra_k on May 5, 2005, at 23:18:32
you absolutely can use babbleland as a good source of fiber and psychology. When packaged together like that you not only get the answers you need but you get them in a more relaxed state.
there are tons of highly intelligent people in babbleland happy to help you thru being 'doc-less'.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 6, 2005, at 7:35:19
In reply to Re: Sorry for the outburst..., posted by alexandra_k on May 5, 2005, at 23:18:32
No need to apologize. It sounded pretty authentic, and that's never wrong. I had a few choice words when you gave us the news, too.
You are amazingly resilient, alexandra. I'm glad for that.
((((alex)))
gg
Posted by pinkeye on May 6, 2005, at 14:47:35
In reply to Re: Sorry for the outburst..., posted by alexandra_k on May 5, 2005, at 23:18:32
You have babble left as an option. When nothing else works, there is always God and there is Babble :-)
Write here a lot more.
Seriously, I think lot of us who come to this board, have picked up lot of stuff from our therapist, and have become pretty wise. So you might be just surprised how much of help you get here and how much of healing you can really get done here.
You don't have to give up your studies just for getting therapy. And if that is pretty much what it comes to - no therapy anymore, maybe you don't have to really feel too bad about that. Therapy is only a recent invention.. 50 years back nobody went to therapy and nobody got all these diagnosis (BPD, and all those stuff) labeled on them. But they all did fine - just with social support and friends and relatives and God. You can still do that.
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 6, 2005, at 16:11:07
In reply to Re: Sorry for the outburst... » alexandra_k, posted by pinkeye on May 6, 2005, at 14:47:35
Absolutely. I hope you will post a lot here. And don't feel you have to hide having different ego states. Discovering those, and trying to hold their feelings and experiences in mind simultaneously, has been the cornerstone of my analysis. Now that I can do it, at least some of the time, my analyst really encourages me to *be my own therapist* during my most difficult times. Before I started analysis, I was unconsciously keping the abused parts of me out of mind. Holding them in mind and tryng to accept and understand them has made me feel much better. Before, I somehow had the idea that no-one would ever want to have those younger parts anywhere around. Including me! I didn't want to know anything about them. Since there are a number of posters with dissociative disorders here, they will understand exactly what you are talking about. i do hope you eventually find good treatment, but, in the meantime, i do think PB can help a lot.
This is the end of the thread.
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