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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 11:49:17
Savagery? Is that really a word? It sounds strange.
I have these feelings of great tenderness (okay, laugh, everyone, hahaha) towards my ex-T. And sometimes I love him savagely, with great intensity... those are the time I lose it the most. That and the tenderness.
The other feelings, them I'm able to handle fairly well for the most part. But those other two .. they're the hardest. They're wonderful demons.
Posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 11:53:48
In reply to Tenderness and Savagery, posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 11:49:17
Sheesh, why would I say they're wonderful demons? Why would I think that, feel that way? There's something about polar opposites that, when put together, are incredibly attractive, isn't there. In life, as in ... words. What are words, but the subconscious talking.
Posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 12:26:41
In reply to Re: Tenderness and Savagery, posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 11:53:48
self-sabotague, anyone?!? That's what enjoying your misery is, honey.
And it is a very bad habit; just like the guilt that you reminded me was so silly and wrong for me.
Remember, you said you were going to print out your last post supporting me and keep it to remind yourself to do the supporting right back to yourself, too.
(((((((((MMMMMMMMWWWWWWWAAAAAHHHHHHH)))))))))
Posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 13:01:32
In reply to Re: Tenderness and Savagery, posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 12:26:41
I did, I've been printing stuff I want to remember this morning, and posting, and giving myself a little mini-therapy session. I love Wednesday mornings... but I'm feeling very uninspired, I should be out there looking for work and the whole financial building is going to crash, it's made of cards you see. But there's a ray of sunshine, dammit, lying across the floor and it needs me, and I need my book....
Posted by pinkeye on February 23, 2005, at 13:04:23
In reply to Re: Tenderness and Savagery, posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 13:01:32
Do you have a new thearpist now? Can you afford one?
Posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 15:00:16
In reply to Re: Tenderness and Savagery » Susan47, posted by pinkeye on February 23, 2005, at 13:04:23
But I don't want to see her anymore. I don't feel like I need to. Is that scary, or what? Is it? Am I wrong because I don't believe in marriage, am I wrong because I know love is transient, am I wrong because other women, and men as well, have made me feel bad about my own strong sexuality? No. I'm not wrong. I'm me, and there are other people like me, too. And I know that for a fact, people who live good lives, who aren't caught up in the social "Norm", trying to maintain that, trying to make us all more and more like sheep. We don't all need to be sheep.
I can be sexually free, I can be myself and I don't need to feel ashamed.
I'm almost done with this.
Posted by pinkeye on February 23, 2005, at 16:18:18
In reply to Yes. » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 15:00:16
There is of course no norm that you have to go by. But I do believe what you are basically still searching for is a meaningful relationship with a man. You don't have to believe in marriage, and you can be sexually as you like - especially in the United States. The guiding line is whether your behaviour works for you or not. If you behave in a certain way and you are not happy, that is an indication that you are not behaving in a way that is suitable for you. That is all you need to go by.
Even though I feel I am basically cured, I am still going to go for therapy. Because I feel I need to give myself the best of chances to keep myself happy. And what have you got to lose by going? Nothing. Compared to what you might get. So atleast until you get rid off your drug dependncy, keep going to therapy. It would be very hard to get rid of drug dependancy by yourself.
> But I don't want to see her anymore. I don't feel like I need to. Is that scary, or what? Is it? Am I wrong because I don't believe in marriage, am I wrong because I know love is transient, am I wrong because other women, and men as well, have made me feel bad about my own strong sexuality? No. I'm not wrong. I'm me, and there are other people like me, too. And I know that for a fact, people who live good lives, who aren't caught up in the social "Norm", trying to maintain that, trying to make us all more and more like sheep. We don't all need to be sheep.
> I can be sexually free, I can be myself and I don't need to feel ashamed.
> I'm almost done with this.
Posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 18:27:40
In reply to Re: Yes., posted by pinkeye on February 23, 2005, at 16:18:18
And as usual, pinkeye, you're so right on. Yes. I'll go to therapy. I want to give myself the same chances, the chances for the best. (Pinkeye)
Posted by alexandra_k on February 24, 2005, at 0:37:58
In reply to Tenderness and Savagery, posted by Susan47 on February 23, 2005, at 11:49:17
That reminds me of something Katherine Mansfield said. Can't remember it exactly... This is from memory...
Why is it that we so love the strong emotions?
Because they remind us we are alive.Your t will never be able to knock that out of you, so you don't have to worry about that.
Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 8:19:50
In reply to Re: Tenderness and Savagery » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on February 24, 2005, at 0:37:58
I *hate* strong emotions, positive or negative.
They hurt.
Posted by Susan47 on February 24, 2005, at 9:59:14
In reply to Re: Tenderness and Savagery » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 8:19:50
They definitely do, when they have no place to go. I don't mind the emotion as long as there's a suitable object for them. It's having an unsuitable object that hurts, for me. Suitable object means I can discuss my feelings with the person I'm having them for. It doesn't mean they respond in kind, it just means they understand and accept. Being accepted by the object of desire is important. Being rejected, in whatever way, is destructive, really destructive. I'm trying to overcome that destruction and maintain my integrity.
This is the end of the thread.
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