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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on March 31, 2004, at 0:42:03
Daisy,
I'm thinking about you. I hope you are doing okay.
Take care,
All Done
Posted by Karen_kay on March 31, 2004, at 7:46:16
In reply to Daisy - HOW are you?, posted by All Done on March 31, 2004, at 0:42:03
Daisy, sweetie....
I too hope that you are doing well. I hope that I haven't said anything to upset you (that constant worrying strikes again). I'm still hoping one day you and I can go shopping together. I do need spring and summer shoes soon. How have your past few days been dear? I hope well...
Posted by cubic_me on March 31, 2004, at 9:33:47
In reply to Daisy - HOW are you?, posted by All Done on March 31, 2004, at 0:42:03
Let us know how you are...I hope things are going ok for you.
Cubic x
Posted by DaisyM on March 31, 2004, at 20:16:01
In reply to Daisy - HOW are you?, posted by All Done on March 31, 2004, at 0:42:03
FINE: freaked-out, insecure, neurotic and emotional...
I'm struggling everyday to stay near the top of the big black hole that threatens to swallow me up. I actually couldn't/didn't work for several days in a row, which NEVER happens with me. Now THAT freaked out my Therapist. He has had me in 7 times in the last 10 days.
There is this huge hole in my soul, because I found out I absolutely can't have something I didn't even know I wanted so badly until it was clear it wasn't ever going to happen. Which calls out the really needy little kid in me, who wants to cling to "our" Therapist desperately. He says that's fine, he thinks I need to right now. I tell him I'm worried it is overload on him and he turns around and "invites" me to come in again. "I want you to face your fears of being a burden," he tells me. He also says I need to be there, in a safe place, to process all the upheaval. And he tells me in his most gentle voice that he's not going anywhere and it is OK to cry.
I apologized today for the nearly 2 (3?) weeks of crisis... and told him how much I hate being a basket case. I sometimes don't think I'll live through the "sorting out" of it all...I never thought such old pain could be so intense.
Maybe if I could sleep without all these weird dreams and flashbacks. It is like being in the middle of the abuse again. I questioned again today the value in telling the details, in remembering how it felt. My Therapist says that is just stuff that needs to come out, in bits and piece or in whole memories, that talking about it as much as I can will help to integrate things and by doing it with him will help me learn that I'm not alone this time.
Work is stressful, it is the end of the quarter and all the reports and I swear every woman here is PMSing at the same time. I usually work 60+ hours a week so imagine how far behind I am by hiding for a few days. And worse, my staff is worried about me and want to know what is going on and how they can help. They are such good-hearted people. They are assuming that my hubby is really sick again...
Which might be true. The topper in the past few weeks is that my hubby had a CT scan today, because they "suspect" yet another problem. Like we need something else...
*sigh* OK, I'll stop. But you asked...:(
I don't know what I'd do without you guys right now. Posting and helping other people gets me out of my own head and problems. Today is a really hard day, I think because I'm tired and because therapy was excruciating. And yes, he "invited" me back tomorrow.
It's nice to be cared about.
Daisy
Posted by Dinah on March 31, 2004, at 20:19:57
In reply to I'm F.I.N.E. -caution, feeling sorry for self/long, posted by DaisyM on March 31, 2004, at 20:16:01
That's not feeling sorry for yourself. It's showing compassion and caring for yourself. Congratulations.
And congratulations to your therapist too for being so supportive. :)
Posted by Dinah on March 31, 2004, at 20:21:40
In reply to I'm F.I.N.E. -caution, feeling sorry for self/long, posted by DaisyM on March 31, 2004, at 20:16:01
But, I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. It all happens at once, doesn't it? Troubles never seem to come in nice even streams, only torrents.
((((Daisy))))
Posted by fallsfall on March 31, 2004, at 20:37:59
In reply to I'm F.I.N.E. -caution, feeling sorry for self/long, posted by DaisyM on March 31, 2004, at 20:16:01
You are doing incredibly hard work with amazing courage. Realize that allowing yourself to be needy is Progress.
I can't imagine any way that you could be doing this better than you already are.
With admiration,
Falls.
Posted by cubic_me on April 1, 2004, at 1:57:04
In reply to I'm F.I.N.E. -caution, feeling sorry for self/long, posted by DaisyM on March 31, 2004, at 20:16:01
Daisy, you're doing great you know. Don't expect yourself to be able to do everything all at once, and you don't need to keep saying sorry all the time either ;) you've said sorry enough now...
*hugs* cubic
Posted by Raindancer on April 1, 2004, at 4:45:02
In reply to I'm F.I.N.E. -caution, feeling sorry for self/long, posted by DaisyM on March 31, 2004, at 20:16:01
Dear Daisy, You are going through so much and handling it all so brilliantly and bravely. I am really proud to know you. I'm so glad your T is so kind and supportive and that you are able to acknowledge your need of him. This won't last for ever and you will come through it shining. My thoughts, prayers and love are with you. Raindancer.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 1, 2004, at 9:31:25
In reply to Re: I'm F.I.N.E. -caution, feeling sorry for self/ » DaisyM, posted by Raindancer on April 1, 2004, at 4:45:02
Posted by All Done on April 1, 2004, at 11:31:22
In reply to I'm F.I.N.E. -caution, feeling sorry for self/long, posted by DaisyM on March 31, 2004, at 20:16:01
(((Daisy))),
We really do care. And it sounds like you have a lot of other people who care including your wonderful therapist. I'm glad you have him to lean on right now.
In another thread, you talked about what we pray for. I pray that you see the light at the end of the tunnel soon because it is there and you will get there. You may have to lean on others to get there, but that's okay - really.
And don't stop writing to us - whatever and whenever you want. How are you today BTW?
Take care of yourself and I'm still thinking of you.
All Done
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 1, 2004, at 17:33:01
In reply to Re: I'm F.I.N.E. -caution, feeling sorry for self/long » DaisyM, posted by All Done on April 1, 2004, at 11:31:22
> (((Daisy))),
>
> We really do care...Sorry to interrupt, and I don't mean to be uncaring, but I'd like to redirect this thread to Psycho-Social-Babble. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040331/msgs/331476.html
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by DaisyM on April 1, 2004, at 19:12:45
In reply to Redirect: I'm F.I.N.E., posted by Dr. Bob on April 1, 2004, at 17:33:01
Wow, I've never been "redirected" before. I would like to point out that most of my response was that I am dealing with life using tons of therapy...so in a sense people might gleen from that, good or bad, that this is one theraputic approach to being severely overwhelmed and depressed.
Just my opinion but it makes me sad for some reason, especially since I only wander over to Social occasionally.
Respectfully,
Daisy
Posted by All Done on April 2, 2004, at 12:04:22
In reply to Re: Redirect: I'm F.I.N.E. » Dr. Bob, posted by DaisyM on April 1, 2004, at 19:12:45
> it makes me sad for some reason, especially since I only wander over to Social occasionally.
Don't be sad, Daisy :(. I think Dr. Bob only intended to redirect my post, not the whole thread. Understandably so, since I asked you a pretty general, non-specific question. So, I'll try again.How is therapy going for you? Have you been to see your T everyday this week? I hope you've gone as much as you needed to because I think you need him a lot right now and please don't apologize for that. He is there to help you and wants to help you.
I'm thinking about you and I hope you're doing okay today.
(((Daisy)))
Take care of yourself,
All Done
Posted by DaisyM on April 2, 2004, at 16:21:26
In reply to Re: Redirect: I'm F.I.N.E. » DaisyM, posted by All Done on April 2, 2004, at 12:04:22
Ok, so I'll admit to being really sensitive right now.
I saw my therapist everyday but today. Today we just had a phone check in. He is making me face my fears about being a burden and about overwhelming him.
We've had some hard conversations about the flash-backs and about what I want but can't have. I told him Wed that I hated therapy. He didn't take it personal, he just asks me to keep coming. Yesterday was frustrating for me, though I can't really say why. I felt pushed through-out the session to give up one of my most basic self-organizing principles - not to burden other people with my stuff. (Babble not with-standing). He called me on it all through the session and it was hard to keep seeing it. How do you get comfortable allowing other people to know you are unhappy when you can't tell them what you want them to do for you? That feels like "just" whining to me. Identifying problems that don't have solutions.
*sigh* I use to think people went into therapy so that they could find someone to tell them how to fix their lives or problems. My Therapist refuses to tell me the answers. Which makes me even more sure that there *aren't* any...
It is going to be a really long weekend. I need to bake...
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 3, 2004, at 9:06:42
In reply to Re: Redirect: I'm F.I.N.E. » Dr. Bob, posted by DaisyM on April 1, 2004, at 19:12:45
> I would like to point out that most of my response was that I am dealing with life using tons of therapy...
Sorry, it's fine of course to use this board to discuss using therapy to deal with life.
> Just my opinion but it makes me sad for some reason, especially since I only wander over to Social occasionally.
And no responses there (yet) this time, that's too bad...
Best wishes,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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