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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on February 20, 2003, at 19:36:23
Hi Mikhail,
Are you still active in the group? I would like to know how your infatuation with your therapist is going on.
PinkEye
Posted by mikhail99 on February 20, 2003, at 22:07:17
In reply to Pinging Mikhail99, posted by pinkeye on February 20, 2003, at 19:36:23
> Hi Mikhail,
> Are you still active in the group? I would like to know how your infatuation with your therapist is going on.
> PinkEye
Hey PinkEye, Funny you should ask since I did see him today. I still have pretty strong feelings about him but since we've talked about them (just a bit) and acknowledged them, they have not exactly faded but lowered in priority. Does that make sense? My husband and I have been getting along better and I just got laid off from work so I guess my thoughts have been elsewhere. It's weird how I still can't define my feelings for him, it's sort of sexual, sort of a crush but not in any way based in reality. I mean, I don't have any fantasies of us being together, he's just kind of pleasant diversion when I'm obsessing about unpleasant things.(I know, clear as mud!) :-)
The other thing I'm currently concerned about is now that I'm taking prozac, I have NO libido. I hate this...why is it a toss up between mental health and sexual well being?? OY!
Thanks for asking Pink, I think I'm spending more time on jobsearch websites than I am here lately.
Take care,
Mik
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2003, at 9:48:06
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99 » pinkeye, posted by mikhail99 on February 20, 2003, at 22:07:17
Sorry, Mik. :((
I think you're using your feelings for your therapist in a really healthy way.
I wish you all the good luck in the job search.
Hugs and more hugs,
Dinah
Posted by pinkeye on February 21, 2003, at 13:13:58
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99 » mikhail99, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2003, at 9:48:06
I am sorry to hear that you lost your job Mik. Good luck in your search.
You are really brave in telling your therapist.
I still don't have the courage and my marriage is going through a very rough phase as well.
PinkEye
Posted by mikhail99 on February 21, 2003, at 17:42:51
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99, posted by pinkeye on February 21, 2003, at 13:13:58
> I am sorry to hear that you lost your job Mik. Good luck in your search.
> You are really brave in telling your therapist.
> I still don't have the courage and my marriage is going through a very rough phase as well.
> PinkEyeDinah, thanks for the hugs, I feel much better! :-)
PinkEye, I think that because your marriage is rocky right now is probably a good reason to tell your therapist how you feel. You can try what I did and write a letter, sit on it for two weeks (grin) and then mail it when you feel reasonably sure that it's ok to send. It's a good way to get your thoughts in order, and it gives both of you time to think about what to say. I think my therapist appreciated the letter because I timed it so he'd get it on a Friday when I knew we had a Monday appointment so he could think about what to say to me. He was really great about it and it's helped me to realize how much I was holding back because I was worried about what he'd think of me. He did issue one caveat though and that was if I had any expectations at all about a relationship with him other than the therapeutic one, we were done. And I really didn't, it was more of a crush/fantasy type thing.
But anyway, these feelings you have may be preventing you from dealing with what's going on with your marriage. Let me add that of course, I have no idea what's going on, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
Take care,
Mik
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Posted by pinkeye on February 21, 2003, at 18:02:36
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99 - Dinah and PinkEye » pinkeye, posted by mikhail99 on February 21, 2003, at 17:42:51
My husband thinks having sex with your wife is wrong due to some religious convictions. I am trying to tell him that that is the most stupid thing one could ever say to have sex with one's spouse is wrong but he disagrees. I think I am using my therapist as a way of escaping from my misearble marriage life. But he is a very honorable man so everytime I am about to send him a detailed letter, I stop myself. also for fear I won't be able to reach out to him when I need him the most.
PinkEye
Posted by mikhail99 on February 21, 2003, at 19:26:22
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99 - Dinah and PinkEye, posted by pinkeye on February 21, 2003, at 18:02:36
> My husband thinks having sex with your wife is wrong due to some religious convictions. I am trying to tell him that that is the most stupid thing one could ever say to have sex with one's spouse is wrong but he disagrees. I think I am using my therapist as a way of escaping from my misearble marriage life. But he is a very honorable man so everytime I am about to send him a detailed letter, I stop myself. also for fear I won't be able to reach out to him when I need him the most.
> PinkEye
Oh my gosh, I can't believe your husband!! How long have you guys been married? (If you don't mind me asking?) Has he always been really religious or is this something that has developed over time? Oy vey, that's extreme. You've probably used the argument that God designed our bodies for pleasure and that sex is a gift from him to married couples, etc. Oh man, I can't imagine the discussions you must have. I really feel for you. I don't blame you for using your therapist to escape BUT you have to know that's not healthy? And I wish I could convince you that he probably won't react the way you fear he might. I played out every possible scenario in my head about how my therapist might react and because I trust him, I could see that his response would be something I could handle.Please don't think I'm lecturing you but I think it would help you to be honest with him. Please take care and hang in there.
Mik
Posted by pinkeye on February 21, 2003, at 19:36:21
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99 - Dinah and PinkEye » pinkeye, posted by mikhail99 on February 21, 2003, at 19:26:22
I don't even know what to do. I am so tired of all this. I don't feel my life is worth living anymore.
Posted by pinkeye on February 21, 2003, at 19:43:02
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99 - Dinah and PinkEye » pinkeye, posted by mikhail99 on February 21, 2003, at 19:26:22
what did you therapist tell you when you told him about your infatuation Mikhail? Did he tell you how to over come it?
Posted by mikhail99 on February 21, 2003, at 21:55:03
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99 - Dinah and PinkEye, posted by pinkeye on February 21, 2003, at 19:43:02
> what did you therapist tell you when you told him about your infatuation Mikhail? Did he tell you how to over come it?
>He felt that if we were both open and honest about things that it would eventually change and develop into my having warm and affectionate feelings towards him.
He did tell me a story about a client he had where he felt that there was an infatuation going on and when he called her on it, she got really freaked out and they couldn't continue. I asked him if he had ever dealt with this before and that was the only other time.
I just feel really strongly that you may be hindering your therapy by not being honest. Of course, it is your decision to make, I just hope you make it based on what kind of therapist you have and not based on fears of his reaction.
I'm so sorry about how things are going for you with your marriage.
Mik
Posted by pinkeye on February 24, 2003, at 18:30:00
In reply to Re: Pinging Mikhail99 - Dinah and PinkEye, posted by mikhail99 on February 21, 2003, at 21:55:03
Thank you Mikhail.
I really appreciate your help and advice. And no.. I still don't have the courage to tell my therapist about my infatuation, though I have conveyed how much regards and love I feel for him.
This is the end of the thread.
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