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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 18:43:13
Today must have been a difficult one for you. The memorial is over, but your loss lingers on. Your emotions are running high becasue of the peak you have been working up to for this day. Let it pass. Take rest. Avoid the internet for a day or two. Take time for Dena to cry, and then come back. WE love you and need you here.
rayww
Posted by Dena on September 11, 2003, at 9:28:35
In reply to Dena, posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 18:43:13
Thanks, Ray.
You know, it's "funny", but I didn't get emotional during the service.
I grieved to the core of myself the day the miscarriage began, & it's felt as if I've been grieved-out ever since.
Before I even had children, & certainly since I've had them, I've always been aware of a feeling (premonition? don't know what to call it) that something tragic/painful would happent to one of my children. And certainly, the more you have, the more the odds go up that something could happen to one of them in their lifetimes... So, long ago, I began to pray that God would prepare me for whatever lie ahead. I believe that He did just that. He enabled me to grieve (I have such a hard time crying in the first place - fear of losing control, etc.), that I was startled by the depth of my grief - I certainly did fall apart that day. But when it was over, it felt complete. Finished.
So, yesterday, I felt no need to cry - I couldn't even "drum it up". I read a letter that I'd written to my baby the day I was miscarrying him, & I felt warmth, but no pain. When my husband read a poem that he'd just written, he cried & had to stop reading. Several of my children also cried (as did several others), but I wonder whether it was grief over the baby or empathy for their father. My husband hadn't been able to grieve yet, so for him it brought closure. My closure had already come.
For me, the service was a statement of faith that my child lives on in the arms of Jesus, & that I'll see him again one day. I feel sadness at our separation, but no longer pain. He's not lost to me, just temporarily separated. I'll have forever to get to know him.
Thanks for your gentle words of consolation. Your kindness to me is a gift.
Shalom, Dena
Posted by Sebastian on September 11, 2003, at 20:25:08
In reply to Dena, posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 18:43:13
My day is coming up: October 18, That was when I would go into major psychotic episodes for so many years when I stoped meds, sort of a memorial day for me, when the accident happened. I hate that day. Sorry
Seb
Posted by Dena on September 11, 2003, at 20:30:16
In reply to Re: Dena, posted by Sebastian on September 11, 2003, at 20:25:08
> My day is coming up: October 18, That was when I would go into major psychotic episodes for so many years when I stoped meds, sort of a memorial day for me, when the accident happened. I hate that day. Sorry
>
> Seb
Dear Sebastian -This is interesting - my birthday is October 18th - I wonder if that means anything...
When I read your posts, my heart goes out to you - I want to be able to do something, say something that will bring you solace, lessen the pain & give you hope. I feel helpless. But I can pray. And I will.
Shalom, Dena
This is the end of the thread.
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