![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 19:58:04
I know I made everyone angry but I'm so lonely. I've been in chat all day for two whole days. I have no friends in real life. Without chat I have no one. :-(
I'm just so lonely. Please visit me.
Please try to accept me for who I am and not abandon me. I need you more than ever now!
I'm so sorry.
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 23:57:24
In reply to Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 19:58:04
I'm really sorry. I'll be good. I promise I won't talk about dieting ever again. Just please don't abandon me!
It's just really scary to know that all my friends will abandon me if I say the wrong thing. I'm just not very good at this social stuff so please forgive me if I make you angry accidentally.
I would hope that all those other days of chatting counted for something?
I just have no friends without chat.
Posted by jane d on September 19, 2011, at 0:21:00
In reply to Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 19:58:04
> I know I made everyone angry but I'm so lonely. I've been in chat all day for two whole days. I have no friends in real life. Without chat I have no one. :-(
>
> I'm just so lonely. Please visit me.
>
> Please try to accept me for who I am and not abandon me. I need you more than ever now!
>
> I'm so sorry.Sure. I'll chat. But there will always be other days when no one is around. It's one of the reasons you should broaden your social circle to include non internet friends. Even then there are going to be days when everyone is busy.
Maybe you can make a plan for something to do the next time you are lonely that would be more effective than hanging out in chat passively. Join a club or two? Go to movies? Go watch birds in a park? Are your hawks migrating? Cleaning house seems to work for some people (I'm definitely not one of them). Or maybe you can solicit suggestions here or from your pdoc. I don't think it matters what you choose so long as you have a plan and then follow it.
Posted by SLS on September 19, 2011, at 7:29:01
In reply to Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 19:58:04
> Please try to accept me for who I am
Who are you, then? What is it that Deneb accepts about herself that she would like others to accept as well? Psychic pain? Social isolation? Stunted cognitive growth? Are you incapable of change? Don't count on me to remain silent and support any suicide plans that you may devise in the future. Under these circumstances, what or who you think you are is of no concern to me. I would try to save you, anyway. It is hard to accept a dead Deneb. It is also hard to accept a hurting Deneb.
> I'm so sorry.
I think that your saying, "I'm sorry" for your self-distructive behaviors is of little value to you or anyone else. You are a recidivist who remains content to make the same mistakes over and over again. I don't think it is important enough to you that you grow into a happy and functional adult. You are doomed to remain the same unless you do something different under the guidance of people who specialize in treating your condition.
I don't think you are losing friends at Psycho-Babble. People like you, and try to support you. I doubt that too many people are mad with you. It is more that they are frustrated and weary of trying to help you in vain.
I am not here to destroy you. Think about it. Why should I bother writing anything at all?
Today, your life begins anew with the rising of the sun. It is an opportunity to grow and make positive changes, both inside and out. It is up to you whether or not the sun sets on the old or on the new.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on September 19, 2011, at 8:06:52
In reply to Re: Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 23:57:24
You know that chat has busy and quiet days. Did everyone in chat have a reaction to your choices?
Where do you stand on your Risperdal? Have you resumed taking your meds? Are you taking the same dose you did formerly? If not, when was your most recent drop? Your reactions lately have resembled the reactions you used to have before you'd gotten so much better. (I recognize that being better may not be an easy subject for you.)
I've been busy lately, as indeed I was before. Particularly at the times we usually chat. I will confess to being busy and tired enough myself that I consider whether I want to deal with distressing topics. But that doesn't mean I'll abandon you or that I hate you. I stuck through with you during the time you were getting so much better didn't I? It's just that I am in one of my phases of avoidance. And I am very busy and will continue busy for a month or so.
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 19, 2011, at 8:32:13
In reply to Re: Please visit me in chat, lonely :-( » Deneb, posted by SLS on September 19, 2011, at 7:29:01
> > Please try to accept me for who I am
>
> Who are you, then? What is it that Deneb accepts about herself that she would like others to accept as well? Psychic pain? Social isolation? Stunted cognitive growth? Are you incapable of change? Don't count on me to remain silent and support any suicide plans that you may devise in the future. Under these circumstances, what or who you think you are is of no concern to me. I would try to save you, anyway. It is hard to accept a dead Deneb. It is also hard to accept a hurting Deneb.
>
> > I'm so sorry.
>
> I think that your saying, "I'm sorry" for your self-distructive behaviors is of little value to you or anyone else. You are a recidivist who remains content to make the same mistakes over and over again. I don't think it is important enough to you that you grow into a happy and functional adult. You are doomed to remain the same unless you do something different under the guidance of people who specialize in treating your condition.
>
> I don't think you are losing friends at Psycho-Babble. People like you, and try to support you. I doubt that too many people are mad with you. It is more that they are frustrated and weary of trying to help you in vain.
>
> I am not here to destroy you. Think about it. Why should I bother writing anything at all?
>
> Today, your life begins anew with the rising of the sun. It is an opportunity to grow and make positive changes, both inside and out. It is up to you whether or not the sun sets on the old or on the new.
>
>
> - ScottScott,
You wrote,[...she would like others to accept..stunted cognitive growth...are of no concern to me...your xxxx-yyyy behavior is of little value to you or anyone else...you are a zzzz who remains content to make the same wwww over and over...I don't think it's xxxx enough to you to grow into a happy and functional adult...you are doomed...they are frustrated and weary of trying to help you...it is up to you...].
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. What criteria did you use, if any, to question Deneb as to if she would like others to accept stunted cognitive growth?
B. By what authority, if any, do you use to question Deneb's cognitive growth?
C. Why is what Deneb thinks she is of no concern to you?
D. What criteria did you use to state that Deneb has self-destructive behaviors?
E. What criteria do you use to determine if a person is a recidivist?
F. How do you know if Deneb is {content} on making the same xxxx, and what are the xxxxs?
G. What makes you think as to if or if not it is or is not important to Deneb?
H. How do you know that Deneb is doomed to stay the same unless...? Could it not be that she could not remain the same by a way other than what you have prescribed that could be unbeknownst to you?
K. How do you know people are frustrated and weary?
L. How do you know that it is up to Deneb? Could not there be factors unbeknownst to you that could keep Deneb from making it up to her?
M. redacted by respondent
Lou
Posted by SLS on September 19, 2011, at 11:12:13
In reply to Lou's request-imleevngitaluptuyu » SLS, posted by Lou Pilder on September 19, 2011, at 8:32:13
I would consider responding to any statements you have to make. I choose not to respond to your usual litany of questions as you choose not to respond to those of others.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on September 19, 2011, at 11:41:58
In reply to Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 19:58:04
Dear Deneb,
I apologize that much of what I wrote to you was so harsh. I assure you that my motives were of wanting to help rather than to hurt. I really do hope that you take inventory of your life's experiences and your present level of comfort so that you can honestly assess your needs for actively promoting your health by utilizing the professional resources that are available to you.
- Scott
Posted by sigismund on September 19, 2011, at 12:01:23
In reply to Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 19:58:04
Geez, sweetie, I've seen you in chat too all the time and never come. It's a lonely atomised world; it really is. I didn't read the thread because I've given my 2 bob's worth on weight loss (no crap, plenty of good protein) often enough, so it's easy for me to say it didn't bother me; no, I mean, why would it?
> I know I made everyone angry but I'm so lonely. I've been in chat all day for two whole days. I have no friends in real life. Without chat I have no one. :-(
>
> I'm just so lonely. Please visit me.
>
> Please try to accept me for who I am and not abandon me. I need you more than ever now!
>
> I'm so sorry.
>
>
Posted by Deneb on September 19, 2011, at 12:59:58
In reply to Other things to do? » Deneb, posted by jane d on September 19, 2011, at 0:21:00
> Sure. I'll chat. But there will always be other days when no one is around. It's one of the reasons you should broaden your social circle to include non internet friends. Even then there are going to be days when everyone is busy.
>
> Maybe you can make a plan for something to do the next time you are lonely that would be more effective than hanging out in chat passively. Join a club or two? Go to movies? Go watch birds in a park? Are your hawks migrating? Cleaning house seems to work for some people (I'm definitely not one of them). Or maybe you can solicit suggestions here or from your pdoc. I don't think it matters what you choose so long as you have a plan and then follow it.
Thanks so much for chatting with me Jane!Those are good ideas, I need to do more stuff besides hanging out in chat for hours and hours feeling lonely. I could go to the movies maybe, but not late at night. I guess I could go to bed next time.
It's just I love chatting with everyone in chat so much. You're all so fun to chat with. I don't know anyone in real life who's like you.
Posted by Deneb on September 19, 2011, at 13:10:13
In reply to Re: Other things to do? » jane d, posted by Deneb on September 19, 2011, at 12:59:58
Please bear with me everyone while I try to figure out what to write that won't upset everyone. I don't want to make things worse.
Thank you all for being my friend and thanks for trying to help.
Posted by 10derheart on September 19, 2011, at 13:37:53
In reply to Please visit me in chat, lonely :-( -- Apology -- » Deneb, posted by SLS on September 19, 2011, at 11:41:58
FWIW, I took your post as tough love, thought-provoking and helpful. Harsh does not equal bad. Real life has its harsh aspects and always will. I read your post as being saturated with caring.
Posted by SLS on September 19, 2011, at 15:31:26
In reply to Re: Please visit me in chat, lonely :-( -- Apology -- » SLS, posted by 10derheart on September 19, 2011, at 13:37:53
> FWIW, I took your post as tough love, thought-provoking and helpful. Harsh does not equal bad. Real life has its harsh aspects and always will. I read your post as being saturated with caring.
Thanks. That was my intention all along. I hope that some of what I had to say will bare fruit. Deneb is an extraordinarily intelligent and creative young woman whom I really want to see blossom and grow.
Deneb, you have demonstrated your ability to learn difficult concepts in academics. Perhaps you can use this intelligence to help you focus on some of life's other challenges. I recall how happy you were with yourself to be able to travel on your own. I really admire you for being comfortable enough with yourself to occupy yourself while you were by yourself.
Apply yourself toward those areas in your life that you would like to see improve. Hire the experts that know how to help you. Try to work with these experts in a combined effort to search for effective treatments. You may have to dig down pretty deep to uncover any psychological crap down there that needs to be brought up to the surface and dealt with. If not, perhaps DBT would be sufficient as a psychotherapy to be used in conjunction with medications.
Deneb working diligently on Deneb should pay off. After the shock and anxiety that this thread may have caused you subsides, I hope you can regroup and start making some phone calls to set up meetings with health care providers. That would be a great first step.
Would you care to review your symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment history? It might help clarify things so that people here can better know you, and are more able to give you targeted feedback and suggestions.
-----------------------------------------
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."- Albert Einstein.
-----------------------------------------
- Scott
Posted by 10derheart on September 19, 2011, at 17:39:44
In reply to Tough love? » 10derheart » Deneb » 10derheart, posted by SLS on September 19, 2011, at 15:31:26
>>Deneb is an extraordinarily intelligent and creative young woman whom I really want to see blossom and grow.
Exactly.
Posted by Phillipa on September 19, 2011, at 19:08:01
In reply to Re: Tough love? » SLS, posted by 10derheart on September 19, 2011, at 17:39:44
Deneb I remember when you went all alone to all the babble parties and had fun. I was envious that you could do so much on your own. Also you amaze me with your academic knowledge also. Phillipa
Posted by emmanuel98 on September 19, 2011, at 20:51:38
In reply to Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 19:58:04
Deneb - I'm not angry at all. I look forward to your posts. I don't do chat, have enough on my plate just keeping up with posts.
I do think you can be a hypochondriac and work yourself into a panic, but you know that about yourself. You do need more social outlets in real life. Are you working still? Do you have friends and interests to engage you? We all need human warmth. Maybe, since your weight so preoccupies you, you could attend OA meetings. You will find people there with whom you can share very openly.
Posted by Solstice on September 19, 2011, at 22:11:39
In reply to Re: Please visit me in chat, lonely :-( » Deneb, posted by SLS on September 19, 2011, at 7:29:01
Scott -
You didn't address this to me, but thank you. Deneb wasn't the only one who needed to hear it. I did too.
Solstice
> > Please try to accept me for who I am
>
> Who are you, then? What is it that Deneb accepts about herself that she would like others to accept as well? Psychic pain? Social isolation? Stunted cognitive growth? Are you incapable of change? Don't count on me to remain silent and support any suicide plans that you may devise in the future. Under these circumstances, what or who you think you are is of no concern to me. I would try to save you, anyway. It is hard to accept a dead Deneb. It is also hard to accept a hurting Deneb.
>
> > I'm so sorry.
>
> I think that your saying, "I'm sorry" for your self-distructive behaviors is of little value to you or anyone else. You are a recidivist who remains content to make the same mistakes over and over again. I don't think it is important enough to you that you grow into a happy and functional adult. You are doomed to remain the same unless you do something different under the guidance of people who specialize in treating your condition.
>
> I don't think you are losing friends at Psycho-Babble. People like you, and try to support you. I doubt that too many people are mad with you. It is more that they are frustrated and weary of trying to help you in vain.
>
> I am not here to destroy you. Think about it. Why should I bother writing anything at all?
>
> Today, your life begins anew with the rising of the sun. It is an opportunity to grow and make positive changes, both inside and out. It is up to you whether or not the sun sets on the old or on the new.
>
>
> - Scott
Posted by floatingbridge on September 20, 2011, at 11:13:16
In reply to Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2011, at 19:58:04
Hi Deneb,
I'm not angry with you. I can never get the chat to work, anyways.
I hope you're doing o.k. today. I'm late to the thread, and I guess everything has already been said. Seems to me your friends here are not deserting you.
Someone said to me, better open rebuke than hidden love. Though the word rebuke feels charged to me, I took the statement to mean that it is more virtuous (or loving) to point out a possible error in judgment to someone than to quietly love them and let them continue erring w/o speaking up.
People here want you to be as well and as content as you can be.
Kindest regards. I admire your honesty in posting that you felt abandoned to begin with.
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 20, 2011, at 20:25:58
In reply to Re: Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by floatingbridge on September 20, 2011, at 11:13:16
> Hi Deneb,
>
> I'm not angry with you. I can never get the chat to work, anyways.
>
> I hope you're doing o.k. today. I'm late to the thread, and I guess everything has already been said. Seems to me your friends here are not deserting you.
>
> Someone said to me, better open rebuke than hidden love. Though the word rebuke feels charged to me, I took the statement to mean that it is more virtuous (or loving) to point out a possible error in judgment to someone than to quietly love them and let them continue erring w/o speaking up.
>
> People here want you to be as well and as content as you can be.
>
> Kindest regards. I admire your honesty in posting that you felt abandoned to begin with.fb,
You wrote,[...a possible error in judgment...].
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I coould have yhe opportunity to respond accordingly.
A.What is the possible error in judgment?
B. If it is possible to be an error, could it also be possible to not be an error?
C. If it is not certain that there is an error, could what is being pointed out cause emotional distress to the recipiant of the pointing out if there is not an error? If not, why not?
D. Why is it more virtuous to point out an error if it is not known if there is an error or not?
E. Are you aware of what (redacted by respondent)
Lou
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 20, 2011, at 20:35:27
In reply to Re: Please visit me in chat, lonely :-( -- Apology -- » SLS, posted by 10derheart on September 19, 2011, at 13:37:53
> FWIW, I took your post as tough love, thought-provoking and helpful. Harsh does not equal bad. Real life has its harsh aspects and always will. I read your post as being saturated with caring.
10,
You wrote,[...thought provoking and helpful...].
I am unsure as to wht you are wanting to mean here. If you could podt answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. What part do you find{thought provoking}?
B. What thought are provoked by that part?
C. Could provoking thought cause emotional distress to the one that the parts are directed to? If not, why not?
D.Why are the listed parts, if you list them, helpful?
E. Could there be factors unbeknownst to you that could have the potential for the post to be not helpful?
E. Have you ever (redacted by respondent).
Lou
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 20, 2011, at 20:46:33
In reply to Re: Please visit me in chat, lonely :-(, posted by emmanuel98 on September 19, 2011, at 20:51:38
> Deneb - I'm not angry at all. I look forward to your posts. I don't do chat, have enough on my plate just keeping up with posts.
>
> I do think you can be a hypochondriac and work yourself into a panic, but you know that about yourself. You do need more social outlets in real life. Are you working still? Do you have friends and interests to engage you? We all need human warmth. Maybe, since your weight so preoccupies you, you could attend OA meetings. You will find people there with whom you can share very openly.eman98,
You wrote,[...I do think you can be a hypochondriac and work yourself into a panic...You do need more social outlets...Maybe since your weight so preoccupies you...].
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers here to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A-F. (questions redacted by respondent)
Lou
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 20, 2011, at 20:53:57
In reply to Re: Please visit me in chat, lonely :-( » SLS, posted by Solstice on September 19, 2011, at 22:11:39
> Scott -
>
> You didn't address this to me, but thank you. Deneb wasn't the only one who needed to hear it. I did too.
>
> SolsticeSol,
You wrote,[...I did to...].
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I coud have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. Did you need to hear all of what was adresssed to Deneb or part? If part, what part(s).
B. What benifit, if any, is there to you by hearing it?
C. (redacted by respondent)
Lou
>
>
> > > Please try to accept me for who I am
> >
> > Who are you, then? What is it that Deneb accepts about herself that she would like others to accept as well? Psychic pain? Social isolation? Stunted cognitive growth? Are you incapable of change? Don't count on me to remain silent and support any suicide plans that you may devise in the future. Under these circumstances, what or who you think you are is of no concern to me. I would try to save you, anyway. It is hard to accept a dead Deneb. It is also hard to accept a hurting Deneb.
> >
> > > I'm so sorry.
> >
> > I think that your saying, "I'm sorry" for your self-distructive behaviors is of little value to you or anyone else. You are a recidivist who remains content to make the same mistakes over and over again. I don't think it is important enough to you that you grow into a happy and functional adult. You are doomed to remain the same unless you do something different under the guidance of people who specialize in treating your condition.
> >
> > I don't think you are losing friends at Psycho-Babble. People like you, and try to support you. I doubt that too many people are mad with you. It is more that they are frustrated and weary of trying to help you in vain.
> >
> > I am not here to destroy you. Think about it. Why should I bother writing anything at all?
> >
> > Today, your life begins anew with the rising of the sun. It is an opportunity to grow and make positive changes, both inside and out. It is up to you whether or not the sun sets on the old or on the new.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
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