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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 12:27:34
i called today finally to get appt with pdoc and cant get in for three weeks.
wish i knew this earlier...i dont want to go to hospital again. no $
i dont want experiemental meds anymore.
i dont want cog.blunting
i dont want weight gain
i dont want nausea
i dont want vision changes
i dont want psychosisi dont even know if i want to try anymore.
im so sick of the med trials. as mentioned in thread above, having to wait weeks or months if something works. side effects.
trying something else..etc.etc.
cycle after cycle after cycle.my next try is tca's.
probably amitriptaline, tramipramine.
pdoc mentioned last time synthroid, but i just dont see that helping, only making me worse.if i had a wish (besides cure)it would be to try agomelatine or stablon...
come ON US! what's the hold up...WTF do i do now...
it started with BAD head noise at night. like restless leg syndrome in my head. pdoc thought akathesia?
then over sleeping came, tired all the time, became VERY irritable.
and last night as i drank my wine to get to sleep i kept wondering what cold steel would feel like on my temple.
the curiosities of death wonder back in my brain and i KNEW i had to call pdoc today...
i did txt him and see if he could do anything via phone and that i couldnt get in for long while....what now.
perphenazine 2mg bid
pristiq 50mg
adderall 20mg bid/tid
gabapentin 300mg (night)
now added 5. to 1mg xanax each night
Posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2011, at 12:56:16
In reply to i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 12:27:34
B2chica know how you feel in my way the xanax may help though give it a try. Waiting is horrendous. Phillipa
Posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 15:31:07
In reply to Re: i dont want to anymore, just tired. » B2chica, posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2011, at 12:56:16
the xanax just for sleep. it works well enough.
not sure if exacerbating my depression. but i've fallen past normal interventions. time for med change or augment.
Again..i'm just tired phillipa.
im really...really just tired of it all.
and i dont want to fight anymore.
Posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2011, at 21:07:06
In reply to Re: i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 15:31:07
I understand but for a woman with two sweet children you must. I know you can do it. And I also know you will you are young and have a family to watch grow up and guide them. Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on July 26, 2011, at 6:12:51
In reply to i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 12:27:34
> i called today finally to get appt with pdoc and cant get in for three weeks.
Three weeks for a crisis? Vacation time? Not good.
> wish i knew this earlier...
> i dont want to go to hospital again. no $
> i dont want experiemental meds anymore.
> i dont want cog.blunting
> i dont want weight gain
> i dont want nausea
> i dont want vision changes
> i dont want psychosisWhat's going on B2chica? You have been working really hard at recovery. Like a lion. Is something pooping out? Are you exhausted?
>
> i dont even know if i want to try anymore.
> im so sick of the med trials. as mentioned in thread above, having to wait weeks or months if something works. side effects.
> trying something else..etc.etc.Yes. Of course. What are you thinking of ditching?
> cycle after cycle after cycle.
>
> my next try is tca's.
> probably amitriptaline, tramipramine.Do you have physical pain? I'm curiuos as what you hope to gain. (truly curiuos)
> pdoc mentioned last time synthroid, but i just dont see that helping, only making me worse.
How so? Is your thyroidunder active? Lexoyl is a good thyroid replacement. I prefer it to sythroid.
> if i had a wish (besides cure)it would be to try agomelatine or stablon...
> come ON US! what's the hold up...I almost imported ago. But didn't want to self medicate. Figured I had enough problems.
>
> WTF do i do now...
> it started with BAD head noise at night. like restless leg syndrome in my head. pdoc thought akathesia?
> then over sleeping came, tired all the time, became VERY
irritable.
> and last night as i drank my wine to get to sleep i kept wondering what cold steel would feel like on my temple.
> the curiosities of death wonder back in my brain and i KNEW i had to call pdoc today...
> i did txt him and see if he could do anything via phone and that i couldnt get in for long while.Are you BPll? And doesn't this doc have a back up? Can you see someone in his practice? And your therapist?
>
> ...what now.
>
> perphenazine 2mg bid
> pristiq 50mg
> adderall 20mg bid/tid
> gabapentin 300mg (night)
> now added 5. to 1mg xanax each nightWhat do you suspect is exhausting you? What might you throw out? And bring in? Replacing the pristiq with a tca?
No way your life is gonna slow down temporarily ?
Take good care.
Posted by B2chica on July 26, 2011, at 11:37:01
In reply to Re: i dont want to anymore, just tired. » B2chica, posted by floatingbridge on July 26, 2011, at 6:12:51
sorry fb so long.
pdoc does private practice on side of working at hospital. he has been having to do a lot of traveling for that hospital lately. The receptionist called me today to reschedule night appt to day appt. i was able to move it up to aug 5 due to cancellation but she told me why he isn't available. I talked with her a while so at least she knows whats going on. i asked her to ask him if i can augment with zyprexa in the mean time (as i have some left over from early this year).She will ask him
i have been working hard. my guess is...like everyother trial pristiq is pooping out. the SNRI and SSRI's just dont seem to last for me. its been since december since i started it and feb since it started working, and april since i've been way better. i guess i should be happy with 3.5 months...better than nothing.
i am exercising as much as i can, trying everyday, weights and treadmill like pdoc suggested. maybe it can help me out till i see him again.i dont even know if i want to ditch any of my meds. maybe just add?
no physical pain, i just heard that they used to do combo of perphenazin and amitriptaline in the past. tramipramine i think is chemically close to that as well? think
as to gain? not weight...(light humor). just no more tears.
no more fighting off death thoughts.AFAIK my thyroid is fine...i'm not sure why pdoc suggested synthroid??
i really would like to try agomelatine or stablon...i wonder if i can talk to pdoc about it and see if he would agree to monitor me if i import?
as for dx? well its bounced around. i think it sticks between psychotic depression and BPII. however i dont have hypomania. no good stuff. i have aggitated depression. dysphoria, auditory visual illusions etc.
nope, pdoc has no backup. he's in pp alone.
and i' stopped therapy back in april...
...i have no one but you folks.
and one friend here at work that i bother with my cr*p.i'm tired now.
last night youngest was up till 3:18 am. luckily i couldnt' sleep anyway. it worked out fine. then i was up at 5:08 to go exercise.i feel tired, but only little more than normal. it normally catches up with me around 3:00pm.
but i'm willing to bet, tonight will be same problem...cant get to sleep...
Posted by Chris O on July 26, 2011, at 14:19:11
In reply to i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 12:27:34
> i dont want to go to hospital again. no $
> i dont want experiemental meds anymore.
> i dont want cog.blunting
> i dont want weight gain
> i dont want nausea
> i dont want vision changes
> i dont want psychosisMe, too, B2chica! I'm so tired of the symptoms, the meds, the failures. But I just hang in there and hope something will eventually work. I am hoping that you find something that works--well and fast.
I sometimes wonder if there were a special device, a plug or something, that allowed people to experience the world like we do--with the tremendous feelings of pain and "out of it ness"--that better treatments would be developed more quickly. Frankly, I wouldn't wish my brain on my worst enemy, unless that made him/her/it better able to empathize with me, and help me deal with my depression/anxiety disorder.
Hang in there!
Chris
Posted by B2chica on July 26, 2011, at 14:38:39
In reply to Re: i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by Chris O on July 26, 2011, at 14:19:11
thank you chris
:`(
Posted by floatingbridge on July 26, 2011, at 15:47:48
In reply to Re: i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by B2chica on July 26, 2011, at 14:38:39
> thank you chris
> :`(B2c, I googled and understand more the addition of amitriptyline. It comes prepared with penaphizn (sp) called a few things, among them etrafon forte.
The penaphizin (according to wiki) has no antidepressant quality what so ever. Guess you know that. They said it should be used for the shortest clinical time possible. That's
Wikipedia. That site can be very unreliable/hit or miss.I just wonder if that is pulling you under. I don't know.
I noticed a few weeks back you posted about your voice sounding/feeling funny. I just had an exchange with a researcher about this because before I tanked big time recently, my voice felt so weird. In my head and body. He called it 'autophonia' and said it can accompany depression. Have you heard of this? It points to 'patulous estuchian tube'
an audio processing disorder. I am incredibly sensitive to sound. I recall you are too. He suggested going to an ENT who works with this. Like I have spare doctor time...:-/Hang in there. I'm a mom, too. Not too much downtime, you know?
Posted by jerseygal1 on July 26, 2011, at 16:56:22
In reply to i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 12:27:34
I understand where you're coming from. It is exhausting to always feel like you're fighting this endless battle. But we have to hang in there - if not for ourselves but for our kids. I wonder if the new med Viibryd could be a possibility for you? I saw my pdoc today and he said it might be an option for me if my current cocktail doesn't work.
Posted by avenarius on July 27, 2011, at 20:28:23
In reply to i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 12:27:34
Posted by avenarius on July 27, 2011, at 20:31:15
In reply to i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by B2chica on July 25, 2011, at 12:27:34
I tried Agomelatine and it was good but not much different from an SSRI or SNRI. I tried Stablon too but didn't stick with it long enough to give an opinion - didn't like the unreliable source and the cost.
My hopes lie with MAOIs now and it seems that's what I should have been given from the start, atypical depression being the obvious diagnosis. Why did it take 26 yrs to get here?
I believe there are solutions for us all, but there are so few competent diagnosticians/psychopharmacologists to help us find them. I've only met one who I have any confidence in and he's the head of Psychiatry at a research university. I'd guess that 90% of psychiatrists don't even read the pharmacological research, and those that do still have trouble applying it.
Posted by B2chica on July 28, 2011, at 10:54:19
In reply to Re: i dont want to anymore, just tired., posted by avenarius on July 27, 2011, at 20:31:15
i Just cant agree with you more! (about lack of research knowledge.
and Thank you very much for your insight to agmelatine and stablon. most SSRI's do not work for me.b2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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