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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Girlnterrupted78 on October 22, 2008, at 3:43:30
Is this social anxiety? I'm still bewildered by what's wrong with me.
I had heard of the movie "The Clockwork Orange" for several years, but just recently I got to watch it. And I realized, after watching it, that I feel extremly similar to the guy in the movie--who went through a brainwashing or 'programming' after being jailed, in order to stop him from committing crime.
He was programmed to feel physically ill whenever he felt violent or about to sexually abuse somebody.
Well, I don't feel as physically ill, but I do feel extreme distress in social situations. It's not really anxiety.. but a complete shutdown of my positive personality traits, my creativity, my ability to be happy and enjoy myself, my sense of well-being, EVERYTHING --they are all simply gone and replaced with feelings of sadness, hopelessness, discomfort, distress and an urge to run away from the situation.
This might have been caused by emotional abuse by my parents as a child. My entire household was plagued with emotional abuse.
The question now is, how do I get rid of this? It was a "training" that went on for several years, during my childhood years, and which shaped my personality.
I've tried tons of antidepressants, and the ONLY one that almost completely eliminated that "programming" was Celexa. But it only lasted a year, and now after trying dozens of others, nothing has worked. I just lost hope. I feel my brain chemistry is destroyed.
Is there any kind of re-training to feel different in social situations? I have worked a lot on my self-esteem and in correcting all the misconceptions I had of myself based on my father's emotional abuse ( He said I had no friends, I'd never get married, I was ugly, I sucked, I should be dead, etc..) I've tried therapy, but it hasn't done a thing. How could an hour a week of talking could possibly correct something like this? We need to be realistic here.
And even though I already came to terms with all that abuse, the symptoms that resulted remain in my system and won't go away.
How do I get rid of them?? Please help, this has ruined my entire life, and will continue unless I do something fast. Every pdoc I've seen couldn't care less and procrastinates on trying new things, some just keep me on the med that didn't work and refuse to try verified ways of augmentation.. and fool me by giving me lower dosages that they know don't work.. they just don't care. Where do I go from here?
Any advice appreciated..
Posted by manic666 on October 22, 2008, at 12:04:45
In reply to Is this SAD? Feel like the guy in Clockwork Orange, posted by Girlnterrupted78 on October 22, 2008, at 3:43:30
your like 99% of us on the postings looking for the magic we may never find, but hey lets keep looking mabye one day.is hard to define are normal ups an downs, when we are not like normal people.you will be ok an the tretment didnt work for him in clockwork orange what a great film the producer would not let it be released on tape because of its futuristic violence for about 20 years.keep looking. manic666
Posted by Phillipa on October 22, 2008, at 12:18:16
In reply to Is this SAD? Feel like the guy in Clockwork Orange, posted by Girlnterrupted78 on October 22, 2008, at 3:43:30
Hi Girinterruped from what I've read on the board seems quite a few others have had success with lexapro while I guess celexa wasn't strong enough. Someone wrote recently that celexa was more depression and lexapro for anxiety. No idea if this is true or not. Sorry your're having so may problems. Phillipa
Posted by Zyprexa on October 22, 2008, at 13:54:28
In reply to Is this SAD? Feel like the guy in Clockwork Orange, posted by Girlnterrupted78 on October 22, 2008, at 3:43:30
I'll agree, therapy does not work. I've tried many times. Usualy I just get pissed off, because there is nothing they can do.
Luckly I've found some pills that work. Some times I think they feel weak and don't work other times they work great, I don't get it. They are medium high doses. But some times it feels like I get a bad pill out of the same bottle, that is realy weak or seems like placibo. I don't understand it.
They didn't treat me as bad as the guy in Clock Work Orange. They just fried my brain. In hospital.
Posted by chinooktoe on October 23, 2008, at 1:29:59
In reply to Is this SAD? Feel like the guy in Clockwork Orange, posted by Girlnterrupted78 on October 22, 2008, at 3:43:30
By DSM-IV criteria, I'd say you would be classified as having dysthymia. I got an experimental treatment that I bet will cure you, and rapidly. It worked for me (major depression) and several others so far (all mood disorders, four out of four cured, not helped, cured, so far). No medications, no talk therapy, non-invasive, very straight forward, seems a little scary at first, until you experience its powerful effect. For details I'm at chinooktoe@gmail.com
Good luck,
Neil
This is the end of the thread.
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