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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by polarbear206 on April 9, 2007, at 11:05:59
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » stargazer, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 10:13:08
> Remeron 60mg
> Adderall 20mg TID
> Klonopin 1mg 4x
> Ambien CR HS
> Hydrocodone 5mg 4x
> Lexapro 20mg
> BuSpar 30mg
>
>
> Adderall and Hydrocodone are the only things keeping me alive right now. My Psych is Rxing the hydrocodone - I've been on it for servere TRD for 3 years - never grown tolerant to its effects.
>
> My Psych told me to think about going off of Lexapro, Remeron, BuSpar and Ambien for Geodon or Abilify.
>
> I have no sex drive and am unable to even feel anything down there.
>
> My msucles hurt so bad.
>
> I've been spirilling downaward since Fall of 2006 when I got overwhelemed with school and had to drop out. I also was taking Adderal XR 20mg 3x daily instead of the immediate release - but had to switch to the immediate release because PPA wouldn't cover more than 30 pills (1s daily)/mo - otherwise it was $400/mo. The Adderall immediate release is MUCH more rough on my system than the XR and I wish I could go back to the XR - but one dose daily doesn't cover it.
>
> I did try for disability years ago and they truned me down because I knew the current president and the current date - apparently you have to ahve no clue where or when you are to receive disability. The man who interviewed me for disability was demeaning, rude and looked at me like I was trash. I gave up. I have no money for lawyers.
>
> I'm not looking for free handouts. But the US healthcare system is horrific and there is nthing for a 35 yr old man in my situation - nothing. PPA covers my Lexapro and that's it. I think in our county to qualify for medical/financial benefits your have to be blind and deaf - or some combination like that. It's crude and ridiculous.
>
> There are no mental health advocate organizations near me - nor do I have the strength, energy or motivation to look for it. As I said - I'm in bad shape. I won't go into a hospital at this point because the only one close enough is a prison with very, very horrible doctors and services. I'd rather sit here and rot on my couch.
>
> I've had ECT with no success.
> I've had 3 years with the VNS implant - with no success (had it removed)
> I was originally diagnosed when I was 20 - I'm 35 now.
> I've been in therapy for most of that 15 yeras and am currntly in therapy.
>
> My apartment is a wreck- I have garbage everywhere. I can't seem to take care of myself as far as hygiene and my parents don't care. They see me in such pain and then blame ME for their stress about having to support me. And they expect me to solve all of our families crises - I have a family member adicted to Ambien and a brother with OCD and I've had to find them help - because my parents say "We don't know what can be done:" - so they sit there - and I hate them for it. I HATE them for the way they treat me.
>
> I have creditors calling me every hour on the hour. I have no money. If I get taken to court (I've already had to filed for bankruptcy years ago) I'll kill myself.
>
> What disgusts me is those privlged spoiled X gener's who live off their parents' fortunes and have no care in the world. Why do they get to live it up - not contributing to the world - not composing symphonies or art or writing poems - not helping out those in need - why are they allowed to live without horrific pain of depression and I made to suffer?>
> I can't take it. I think my school career is over. There i snothing left. I'm fat, ugly, depressed, lonely, heartbroken, in pain, in debt and at the end of my rope.
>
> Someone help.......release me........please.......I think your P-doc may be on the right track with his suggestions to switch to mood stablizers. You are never going to know if you don't try. The combination of these multiple meds is bound to cause interactions and unwanted side effects. Believe in yourself!!! Fight for the life you deserve to have!!! What was your original diagnosis? A mood stablizer and a low dose of SSRI/SNRI like Effexor may help in your situation. Your problems started when you were a young adult and mood stabilizer may be your get out of jail ticket. Make yourself get some form of exercise. I know this may seem overwhelming, but make it a priority. Have you seen a p-doc who specializes in TRD?
Polarbear
Posted by Phillipa on April 9, 2007, at 12:16:27
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » JerryPharmStudent, posted by polarbear206 on April 9, 2007, at 11:05:59
Jerry also have you had a physical? Could thryroid be involed in the weight gain? If asthma is a problem maybe you need the ER who have to treat you reguardless of ability to pay. Love Phillipa
Posted by Sebastian on April 9, 2007, at 12:50:07
In reply to Re: What can we do to help? » UgottaHaveHope, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 7:48:32
Try less or none of the weight gain med, at least for a while. You will lose a lot of weight, won't need food for a while, and concentrat on your thoughts. At least the rent is paid!
My parents didn't understand either. But while I was living with them I occasionaly went off all meds for a few months and felt better at the end, and went back on meds and functioned normaly.
What is the deamoned med? And is it a high dose?
Posted by KayeBaby on April 9, 2007, at 13:09:20
In reply to Re: What can we do to help? » JerryPharmStudent, posted by Sebastian on April 9, 2007, at 12:50:07
I agree with Honore. The meds you are on now are not working and a change is in order. Abilify has the reputation for being motivating.
Get your meds changed. Just doing this will probably give you a little hope and get the ball rolling. Abilify kicks in fast from what I understand.
Keep talking to us. You are not alone or a whiner.
You are in pain and there is help for you.I understand about the self esteem issue and what helps me to help myself at these times is to think about what I would do or demand for a person in my situation. I am always ready to defend the underdog and I'll bet you are too. Defend and advocate for yourself the way you would for the underdog.
Take us up on the offer to make calls and stuff. I wish someone would have known to help me with this when I neede it. I can just get paralized and too confounded to think at times. Practical matters often are just too hard.
Peace,
Kaye
Posted by Sebastian on April 9, 2007, at 13:19:49
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » stargazer, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 10:13:08
First drop the remeron, you NEED to lose the weight first. Then all the other ones you can do without, like everything but Adderall and hydrocodon. If you need an anti-psychotic like Abilify, I would deffinitly suggest that one, it helped me lose so much weight in a short time, brought down blood sugar, etc. You can probably get abilify from PPA, I'm guessing because its new and brand only. Plus its once a day, 15mg might do it.
Anyways that is my suggestion.
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 9, 2007, at 14:01:13
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 10:21:13
If you are currently on disability, please tell Jerry what he needs to do to begin the process. If you need to do this through Babblemail, Jerry has it.
Also if you have any ideas on groups that might provide immediate emotional and financial support, please talk about that, too.
WE DONT NOT WANT TO LOSE ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED MEMBERS OF PBABBLE.
This is amazing and touching seeing everyone rally around one of our fallen. Thanks everyone, Michael
Posted by notfred on April 9, 2007, at 14:27:19
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » stargazer, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 10:13:08
> Remeron 60mg
> Adderall 20mg TID
> Klonopin 1mg 4x
> Ambien CR HS
> Hydrocodone 5mg 4x
> Lexapro 20mg
> BuSpar 30mg
>
If affording the meds is a problem, patient assistance programs cost little or nothing:
Posted by notfred on April 9, 2007, at 14:29:47
In reply to URGENT: Please share disability info, etc for » JerryPharmStudent, posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 9, 2007, at 14:01:13
SS Disibility ? Just apply at the Social Security office.
Posted by notfred on April 9, 2007, at 14:51:13
In reply to Re: URGENT: Please share disability info, etc for, posted by notfred on April 9, 2007, at 14:29:47
> SS Disability ? Just apply at the Social Security office.
>
> http://www.ssa.gov/disability/
One tip, make an appointment with the SS office, that way you do not have to wait in line.
Posted by 10derHeart on April 9, 2007, at 16:24:30
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » stargazer, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 10:13:08
>>I did try for disability years ago and they turned me down because I knew the current president and the current date - apparently you have to have no clue where or when you are to receive disability. The man who interviewed me for disability was demeaning, rude and looked at me like I was trash. I gave up. I have no money for lawyers.
Jerry, you shouldn't need any $$ for a SS disability lawyer, for an appeal or a "new" claim. They only get paid if they win, and it's out of the settlement and set by the SSA. Check out this site....looks very helpful.
http://www.thensome.com/ssdi.htmThey also link to:
http://www.nosscr.org/refer.html
This is an 800 # in put you in touch with a lawyer and/or paralegal in your area who do SS disability work .
I also think willye's suggestions in his post to you at the bottom of this board are excellent. It can seem overwhelming, BUT, posters here are offering to do some of it for you, and maybe you could set your mind to focus just on trying to make one call, or look for some old med receipts - anything - each day ...no matter how small it is something to feel you accomplished.
Please let your local churches, food pantries, shelters and so on help. That's why they are there - they want to help. When I volunteered in the past, I didn't care if you were 35 or 75, thin or overweight, I only cared if there was something I/we could do for the person INSIDE the outer shell of a body - to bring the comfort of food, etc.
I hear your pain and am praying for you. So glad you told people here how bad it is. God Bless you, Jerry
--10derHeart
Posted by notfred on April 9, 2007, at 17:35:13
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » stargazer, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 10:13:08
I did try for disability years ago and they truned me down because I knew the current president and the current date - apparently you have to ahve no clue where or when you are to receive disability. The man who interviewed me for disability was demeaning, rude and looked at me like I was trash. I gave up. I have no money for lawyers.
Did you appeal ? You have many chances to appeal after the first judgment. Most win on appeal, the lawyer gets usually 1/4 of your back benefits as payment. So you need no money to hire a lawyer.
Posted by elanor roosevelt on April 9, 2007, at 23:28:13
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry, posted by notfred on April 9, 2007, at 17:35:13
Buspar puts the weight on quickly and I found i took it too long. For major "free floating" anxieties I needed it to get through a tough time but then it slowed me down.
So it might be a med you want to switch.
You need help with getting your house in order. This is a big issue for me. I know how it feels to get stuck and not be able to clear the mess. It's like the mess reflects what the inside of your mind feels like.
Hang in there.
Posted by chiron on April 9, 2007, at 23:45:48
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry, posted by elanor roosevelt on April 9, 2007, at 23:28:13
I was just recently told about NAMI, an organization for the mentally ill. I don't know if they have anything to offer you, but it's worth checking in to.
Hang it there!
Posted by football on April 10, 2007, at 0:52:33
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » stargazer, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 10:13:08
"I won't go into a hospital at this point because the only one close enough is a prison with very, very horrible doctors and services. I'd rather sit here and rot on my couch."
Please go to the next closest one then. You absolutely need to hospitalized and the great majority of them have great doctors and services. Just please manage to get to a hospital and you will have a team around you doing everything they can to help you.
Posted by willyee on April 10, 2007, at 8:24:04
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry, posted by notfred on April 9, 2007, at 17:35:13
> I did try for disability years ago and they truned me down because I knew the current president and the current date - apparently you have to ahve no clue where or when you are to receive disability. The man who interviewed me for disability was demeaning, rude and looked at me like I was trash. I gave up. I have no money for lawyers.
>
>
>
>
> Did you appeal ? You have many chances to appeal after the first judgment. Most win on appeal, the lawyer gets usually 1/4 of your back benefits as payment. So you need no money to hire a lawyer.Over him,they will try,its a wall,just come back at everything they say.I recomend using a strong anxiety agent the day you go there because SOME can seem aganist you rather for you.If the face to face goes bad,call,keep comming at them.
Also if anyone has trouble with the last part of seeing "their" doc which by hear say im told is a last resort of them rejecting you,i might not have people agree since it does invovle a bit of dishonesty,or more so EXGARATION...
But on this day let it out,dress how you feel,speak move and behave how you felt all tis time,not just that particular day.They are not judging you on the single day,so dont give them reason to use it aganist you,comming in on a good day like a million bucks might allow them to see past 7 or so years of suffering.
I had someone drive me there,but i was in very bad shape then,when asked why the person was there i explained on certain days i choose not to drive depending on my anxiety level.When all was said and done,i think i scared tht doc into never wanting to see me again.
Posted by Larry Hoover on April 10, 2007, at 9:25:14
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 9, 2007, at 10:21:13
> after reading my last post - it's jsut a list of how terrible my life is and makes me look liek a whiner.
>
> I'm totally embarassed.
>
>
> I'm sorryJerry, I'm really sorry to learn that your recent lack of posting (here, and elsewhere), is due to such severe symptoms and loss of functioning. I am totally proud of you for speaking up. The truth is not whining, Jer. When reality bites, it simply bites. You gave people the information that they can use to assist you. Please don't let pride stand in the way of getting help through this difficult time.
I know, from experience, that one of the biggest difficulties you face when you fall into a hole is that you have to climb out before you can even consider functioning normally. People here are reaching out, and will be with you at each step of the way up that ladder. All will be well again. In time, all will be well.
You posted, dude. In your time of need, you did the right thing. I can never bring myself to do that. Maybe, with your example, I might give that a shot.
Lar
Posted by paulbwell on April 10, 2007, at 10:45:47
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » JerryPharmStudent, posted by Larry Hoover on April 10, 2007, at 9:25:14
Jerry-I miss chating to you on MSN, stay in touch and reply to my babblemail-people here have come to know and care about you.
Posted by KayeBaby on April 10, 2007, at 14:07:25
In reply to Re: What can we do to help?/Jerry » JerryPharmStudent, posted by Larry Hoover on April 10, 2007, at 9:25:14
I agree with you, Larry.
I find it very inspiring to see people reach out when they need help. I am trying to learn to do this. I mostly dissappear from life when I am in a bad way.
I am more comfortable in the caretaking mode and people look to me when they need help. When I am ill I just am out of my element and don't even know how to ask for help.
I have come to realize that the give and take is a natural flow and to limit yourself to one role or the other disrupts this healing cycle.
Have a penny give a penny, need one take one.
This is good order in the universe.Jerry,
How are you doing?Take Care,
Kaye
Posted by Deneb on April 11, 2007, at 1:20:42
In reply to Re: Hello, goodbye, posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 8, 2007, at 23:25:19
I'm sorry to hear you're not doing well.
Please don't kill yourself. People love you here
Deneb*
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 11, 2007, at 10:37:50
In reply to Re: Hello, goodbye » JerryPharmStudent, posted by Deneb on April 11, 2007, at 1:20:42
Posted by KayeBaby on April 11, 2007, at 11:47:26
In reply to Has anyone heard from Jerry??????? (nm), posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 11, 2007, at 10:37:50
This is worrying.
Has anyone talked to him or know anything?Kaye
Posted by Sebastian on April 11, 2007, at 15:18:17
In reply to Re: What can we do to help? » JerryPharmStudent, posted by Sebastian on April 9, 2007, at 12:50:07
Have you found a solution? Bussy? Feeling worse or better? I hope I didn't give you bad advice? what meds are you taking?
Posted by stargazer on April 11, 2007, at 22:58:04
In reply to Are you ok!?! » Sebastian, posted by Sebastian on April 11, 2007, at 15:18:17
Jerry, haven't heard from you in a few days and need to know you are Ok?
Read your post and agree med changes are in order...I'm on Abilify, low dose 5 mg, and would recommend it to you in lieu of perhaps Remeron, Lexapro and Buspar.
Sorry to hear of your recent state, it is never easy to try and climb back up from that place, but it can be done with the help of a good pdoc and friends here that will try and help you through the darkness.
Just let us suggest things that have worked for us or not worked or give you new things to try. You know many of us here have found better solutions to our depression than with our pdoc's suggestions. It can be really good to listen and try other things your doctor will not suggest. You may even need to get a second opinion if you have never had one, although you did have ECT and VNS so you must have had many other consultations.
Have any drugs ever worked for you? You say Hydrocodone and Adderall are useful but what do they not do that you are hoping other meds can do for you?
Write back. Stargazer
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 12, 2007, at 0:51:18
In reply to Jerry, did you stop any of your meds yet?, posted by stargazer on April 11, 2007, at 22:58:04
I a overwhelmed at the respose. YOu people are thee most caring, sensitive, kind people I could ever know. Strangers willing to call places for me? I woul dhave NEVER thought anyone would even offer.
I have tears in my eyes from reading your responses. YOu are beautiful people.
I"m sorry to have worried you. I've been sleeping away reality since my last post. TOmorrow I see my therapist and will talk to him about all of this - especially about SS info and help.
I cannot that you people enough.......
Jerry
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on April 12, 2007, at 0:58:20
In reply to Re: What can we do to help? » JerryPharmStudent, posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 9, 2007, at 0:50:17
Some of you have mentioned positive results using Abilify. I'mwondering how Abilify and Geodon differ as far as treating TRD? They both seem to hit many of the same subreceptors, etc - but someone mentioned that Abilify was good for motivation.
Can anyone share experiences with either med? I've been on Seroquel before - which only knocked me out for days and days - even at small doses and made me gain tremendous amounts of weight.
thanks again......I lvove you alll
Jerry
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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