Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 628612

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?

Posted by reese7194 on April 4, 2006, at 9:15:56

hi. are there any places that are like rehabs but for mental health. not five day psych hospitals but actual places where you stay for 30 days to three months. that are not just 12 step programs for "drug" use. this is my situation.

i have been dealing with manic depression and other mental stuff for maybe twelve to fifteen years. i have been in and out of i don't know how many psych hospitals. have been on every medication that exists. have been on off-label experimental medication. have worked with doctors at nyu, mclean, mayo clinic but

for the past three years i have graduated to being a fulltime participant on disability. i no longer want to do anything, be anything. if anything is someone asked me why i am still here i really couldn't give them an answer. i don't know. i no longer can do the one thing that makes me feel good. which is acting.

the one consistant feeling is fear. it's like someone sticks a needle in my arm at the exact moment my eyes open in the morning and it's injected inside me.

like most people know, patterns, feelings, highs, lows are in flux and it becomes a battle of time. how to get through the next minute. it has changed and lessened from what it used to be say fifteen years ago. when i felt like i was on fire all the time. but i think that i have gone through so many highs & lows that i have burned myself away. where i now feel almost nothing. like a ghost who feels in black and white but somehow still has the capacity to say hello and goodbye to passing people.

i no longer think of finding a someone to have a relationship with. i no longer think of falling in love. making love. kissing. no longer have the need to write. no longer go watch or go see movies. listen to music....

last year i already took "time off". i live in new york and last year i took seven months off and moved back with my mom in california. there i went to an outpatiend program at ucsf which felt like repeating fifth grade. i then moved back to new york to continue with my acting, in september. that eight months really feels like two or three years. i really can't believe it's only been eight months. i just finished acting in a play. but even that was not easy. an acting has always been the one thing that brought me a feeling of happiness and joy. but the problem with acting is that it doesn't last forever.

if anyone knows of anything i would appreciat it. i am just beyond tired. it takes a long time to reach this point. to actually see hope, dreams, passion evaporate and literally feel like a skeleton.

i apologize for this whiney, bitchy, monologue.

 

Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?

Posted by Maxime on April 4, 2006, at 13:00:41

In reply to a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?, posted by reese7194 on April 4, 2006, at 9:15:56

Hi. I live in Canada and I was in psych hospital for 2 months. I think if you look for a psych hospital rather than a psych ward, you may find what you are looking for.

Good luck to you.

Maxime


> hi. are there any places that are like rehabs but for mental health. not five day psych hospitals but actual places where you stay for 30 days to three months. that are not just 12 step programs for "drug" use. this is my situation.
>
> i have been dealing with manic depression and other mental stuff for maybe twelve to fifteen years. i have been in and out of i don't know how many psych hospitals. have been on every medication that exists. have been on off-label experimental medication. have worked with doctors at nyu, mclean, mayo clinic but
>
> for the past three years i have graduated to being a fulltime participant on disability. i no longer want to do anything, be anything. if anything is someone asked me why i am still here i really couldn't give them an answer. i don't know. i no longer can do the one thing that makes me feel good. which is acting.
>
> the one consistant feeling is fear. it's like someone sticks a needle in my arm at the exact moment my eyes open in the morning and it's injected inside me.
>
> like most people know, patterns, feelings, highs, lows are in flux and it becomes a battle of time. how to get through the next minute. it has changed and lessened from what it used to be say fifteen years ago. when i felt like i was on fire all the time. but i think that i have gone through so many highs & lows that i have burned myself away. where i now feel almost nothing. like a ghost who feels in black and white but somehow still has the capacity to say hello and goodbye to passing people.
>
> i no longer think of finding a someone to have a relationship with. i no longer think of falling in love. making love. kissing. no longer have the need to write. no longer go watch or go see movies. listen to music....
>
> last year i already took "time off". i live in new york and last year i took seven months off and moved back with my mom in california. there i went to an outpatiend program at ucsf which felt like repeating fifth grade. i then moved back to new york to continue with my acting, in september. that eight months really feels like two or three years. i really can't believe it's only been eight months. i just finished acting in a play. but even that was not easy. an acting has always been the one thing that brought me a feeling of happiness and joy. but the problem with acting is that it doesn't last forever.
>
> if anyone knows of anything i would appreciat it. i am just beyond tired. it takes a long time to reach this point. to actually see hope, dreams, passion evaporate and literally feel like a skeleton.
>
> i apologize for this whiney, bitchy, monologue.

 

Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?

Posted by reese7194 on April 4, 2006, at 14:17:15

In reply to Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?, posted by Maxime on April 4, 2006, at 13:00:41

what was the place like you were at in canada? did you find it helpful? how are you doing now?

thanks for writing back

 

Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist? reese7194

Posted by Maxime on April 5, 2006, at 13:35:42

In reply to Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?, posted by reese7194 on April 4, 2006, at 14:17:15

> what was the place like you were at in canada? did you find it helpful? how are you doing now?
>
> thanks for writing back

I was in the Douglas Hospital in Monteal Quebec. I didn't find it helpful because all the patients were left to do whatever we wanted. In other words, there were no activities. They also waited a long time to restart my meds.

In hindsight though, I did need to be there.

Maxime

 

Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist? reese7194

Posted by CareBear04 on April 6, 2006, at 16:25:01

In reply to a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?, posted by reese7194 on April 4, 2006, at 9:15:56

reese-- i'm surprised you didn't get longer treatment or better referrals at mclean. i thought for them, short-term was about two weeks and long-term was... well, long-term. i was in nyu inpatient once as well. my resident there wanted me to consider long-term hospitalization and told me that most of the institutions are in ny or massachusetts. seeing as you're in the area, it might be convenient for you if you could find a place.
good luck,
CB

 

Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?

Posted by ADDmom32 on April 7, 2006, at 22:37:27

In reply to a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?, posted by reese7194 on April 4, 2006, at 9:15:56

Hey,

I spent 3 months in a psych hospital in Birmingham, AL with about 3 more months daily outpatient care. Then LOTS of follow up and individual/group therapy.
I was pregnant with my 1st child and nobody would give me ANY meds because of it. Maybe that's why they kept me so long (pregnancy and no meds), I don't know, but I agree with Maxine... Look for Psych Hosp not Psych ward.

Is insurance in your way?

I'll be thinking about you.

 

a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?

Posted by reese7194 on April 8, 2006, at 1:44:17

In reply to Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?, posted by ADDmom32 on April 7, 2006, at 22:37:27

i understand the difference and you will find that there are very few places, unlike for drugs & alcohol, that offer such service.

there are some. of course. but not many. most places, when it comes to mental health, are usually out-patient programs that have inpatient care for people that either come in through the e.r., voluntary, or involuntary.

it doesn't matter which coast you are on. east or west. it is still the same. mclean might offer some services. but one of my doctors is at mclean and they do offer some services there, but again they cross over into dual-diagnosis with addiction issues. but i am going to speak with him monday and talk in more detail.

but i understand your points of the difference in wording but that alone makes very little difference.

it's just if you have been through a dozen hospitals, myriad out-patient programs, you begin to lose options. in new york for example you are in deep trouble if you need help. there are of course the famous hospitals i.e. nyu etc. but and i think most people that have been through many hospitlizations would i think agree, they are more similiar than different.

in new york there are a few out-patient programs but not many even in that area. you have post-graduate center, fountain house which is not a mental health program per say. but just a place that you can either hang out at, volunteer, or find jobs through. i am member there but i no longer go for the same reason i needed to leave public housing.

once you reach that point. and if you accept it for who and what you now are. you can not leave. it is a terribly sad place for those that reach it. ones life exists from t.v. channel to t.v. channel, meal to meal and sleep. and managing ones monthly check and food stamps.

i'm not following a line of thought with this. i just want to let people know that it is not a question of semantics. if one really looks into it, i think you will understand what i am saying. which is basically that there are so many places for addiction but so little for mental health. even though they of course bleed / blend into one another. but if one wants just help with chemical imbalance and being treatment resistant to medication it becomes a very fascinating dilemna.

thanks

 

Re: a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?

Posted by ADDmom32 on April 8, 2006, at 13:37:04

In reply to a ghost. do long term inpatient exist?, posted by reese7194 on April 8, 2006, at 1:44:17

Please forgive me if I sounded disregarding or as if I was minimizing your frustration. I took the easy way and posted a generic "you must not be trying hard enough" message.
Truly I apologize.

I think I mostly wanted to reach out to you because your writing was so descriptive and I felt your pain and loneliness when I read it.
Your writing style is so honest and pure.
I hope you get relief just from expelling/expressing yourself this way.

I agree wholeheartedly that there a far more "addiction based" mental health help centers than straight forward mental health.

This may not help at all but, I am impressed by your ability to be so conscious of what is not helpful to your battle for self health.

You are in my thoughts.


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.