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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 48 to 72 of 72. Go back in thread:
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 1:05:23
In reply to KAR - an OCD type question, bear with me! » Kar, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:42:00
Janelle,
It's www.ssa.govIt's really pretty complicated stuff, so give those nice folks at the SS office a call, but maybe this website will help in the meantime.
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 1:46:27
In reply to Re: BCat: one more question (not re SS !!) » Janelle, posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 1:02:23
No, Barbara, I won't be having kids anytime - technically I still *can* if you know what I mean(!), but 1) I feel that I'm too *old* (I'm at an age where it is considered risky), 2) I'd be afraid I'd pass this depression/anxiety, etc. on to the poor children - this stuff has a genetic component (runs in families, my dad has depression) and 3) I can barely take care of myself, never mind a child or two or three ...
How about you - why have you decided not to have children? Just curious!
As for the SS info you gave - I finally get it! Thanks for your patience in answering my questions. My OCD type question to KAR was that she said you had previously posted the website for SS, but I re-read your previous postings and can't find it so I'm wondering which of your earlier postings has the website mentioned in it!!?!!!!
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 2:37:46
In reply to BCat: re Kids and more! » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 1:46:27
Janelle- T'aint no big thang but this is where it was..
Re: BCat: a wee bit more questions (sorry): » Janelle
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 17:59:40I know what you mean about "hardly being able to take care of yourself" so how could you take care of kids...I think about it often- too much! Seems like it's taking so long to get back on the right track but I believe that I will have wee ones some day. In the meantime, I work (ha! "worked" would've been more appropriate there, wouldn't it...esp. in light of the current convo..) with toddlers and get/got my fill that way. Then I think, shit- it's gonna be hard with all the meds and the higher than normal threat for post-partum...My doc kicks ass and has done this many times with other women that are bipolar and on meds. Aaargh, time will tell. I can't believe I said that. I HATE that phrase, specially lately! :)
Kar
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 3:08:44
In reply to Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 19:58:30
BC- bless you for taking that time...this is one of those issues that no one but someone who's been through it can be of much help...my fiance has conveyed (nearly to the letter)the same feelings as your hub.
>
> We both agreed that the main component is love.Amen. But I still can't make peace with it-maybe it's the fact that I'm not carrying my end of the relationship. Then there's the money thing. It just feels a little weird because we're not married yet and HAD both been self-sufficient. But now I'm not contributing anything. And the money is really not a "situation"- but I want to be helping too. I guess it would be different if I were home taking care of a kid...
Am I going to be saddled with a big problem?'
Bingo- and I think he is!! He doesn't tho- he's confident that we'll get through it...just keeps telling me that he loves me and that's why he's here. He grabbed my face in his hands once and said, "Don't you know that you're what I've been waiting for so long? That means you- good or bad!" probably helps that I get twinkles here and there when I feel and seem my old self- he knows I'm still in here somewhere...
think we'll never get over it, but the other person doesn't necessarily see it that way at all.
I guess you're right...I always used to think he was just reassuring me (so self centered am I!) but I guess he does believe it.
he's been in a similar place and can relate.
Ok your hub sounds like the bomb! I do wonder how anyone could truly understand the situation when they hadn't lived it...you have that added "bonus" (for lack of a much much better term) with him.
pride in ourselves for being so courageous in the face of a horrendous illness.
How's you get so strong, BCat? You're words have really meant a lot to me- more than I can convey here. And your hub- well, I'm glad you have him (and that he has you!)
Where'd you get all the kitties? We have two and I agree- they are my kids now. I wish we could post pics here!
Signing off, with my tail out from under my legs and positioned vertically with a slight curve at the end...
(By the way, we're definitely gonna get sent to PSB- should we just do it?)
Thanks so much BC,
Kar
Posted by vicky on March 22, 2002, at 8:34:25
In reply to Social Security, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 0:38:23
I was a lucky one, got ss in less than 3 months!
With no lawyer, no appeal.
I was hospitalized at a pcysch hospital for 1 week
for nervous breakdown (that helps)
and I had been seeing different pscyh docs for over
13 years (history).
I got ss in record time they say!! The happiest day of
my life was when I got approved. (Worked in a
chemistry lab for 15 years straight (high stress)
I'm on prozac, perphenazine, welbutrin, and buspar!
vicky
Posted by kiddo on March 22, 2002, at 9:42:57
In reply to Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 21, 2002, at 19:58:30
Hi-
I just read your post about your husband his being a gem was an understatement IMO. My husband wasn't supportive at all in the beginning, but has changed a lot.
Having someone that is supportive is so important and makes things much easier to deal with.
I just wanted to say that :-)
Kiddo
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 11:33:22
In reply to Re: Significant Others, posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 3:08:44
Hi Kar,
So glad I could lend a bit of hard earned words of experience. One other thing I thought of is - and this is hard- no matter how awful you feel about life or yourself, try not to take it out on your guy. That may be easier now than after you've been with him for a while. Sometimes when my hub does something that pushes my buttons big time and I'm in the midst of a bad one, I can be pretty nasty and below the belt mean. I think if there's anything another person will finally get fed up with is if they're getting treated like shit. WE've been to counseling and that helped alot (with HIS issues too - let's remember we're not the only humans with problems in the equation). As in any relationship, learning how to communicate is the key and it's not something we learn from school or our parents.Ahhh, my kitties, my little sweethearts. Most of them are feral, rescued from when we were involved with a feral cat spay/neuter organization. There is no more pure and heart-warming feeling that I know of than a cat who really loves you. I can't imagine my life without them. Kids just never happened for me and I do believe that it's for the best.
I'm all for moving on to PSB, how do you propose we do that so everyone else in our Pen Pal group gets notified? - Barbara
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 11:49:49
In reply to Re: Social Security, posted by vicky on March 22, 2002, at 8:34:25
Kudos, Vicky! I'm glad it's worked for you!
Kar
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 12:05:36
In reply to Re: Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 11:33:22
below the belt mean.
Good advice...actually my therapist has said that one of the things that probably makes it easier on Cave is the fact that when I get down, I lean towards the quiet, withdrawn side and never lash out. I'm a lot more fiesty when I feel good! :)
True what you say about communication. We just took Precana (don't know if you're familiar with that- it's like pre-wedding "counseling" required for Catholics). Well I thought it would be God this and God that- it was centered upon active listening and communication...we learned a lot. Score "one" for the Catholic church and believe me, I AM keeping score. Aargh.
Well crap, I was hoping you'd know how to "PSB" :D
I'll post something or look it up. Or we could throw in some medication issues and just keep our butts here! The thing is, what do you do when it's a mix?Kar
Posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 16:58:26
In reply to KAR: re your experience with SS: » Kar, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 0:31:06
Janelle- I wasn't turned down for S.S. Disability b/c of the lack of work credits, I just wasn't eligible to apply for it. What I was turned down for was SSI. They pretty much said that was all I could apply for. It was strange tho, because my rejection letter seemed to be based upon my "disability"...Eg. "We realize that your condition prevents you from doing your past job, but it does not prevent you from doing other work"...Which of course is bullshit, because when I'm bad I can't do anything. Yes I can "follow basic instructions and and act in my own interest" as they say, but I can't work. So there ya go...
Feeling crappy today- I have another week to go without any AD's because I'm getting back on Nardil...probably won't be writing much in the next few but will check in...
Hope you're doing ok-
Kar
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 20:34:56
In reply to SSI stuff » Janelle, posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 16:58:26
Kar,
First, thank you so much for bearing with me and finding that thread where BCat had posted the SS website - it was buried in one of her paragraphs and wasn't written out as a URL that's why I kept missing it! It was bugging me out that I couldn't find it! I get that way sometimes. Thanks for not making fun of me!
As for SS, okay I get that you were not eligible to apply for SSDI (the disability one), but you DID apply for SSI? Interesting ... that's the one for low income people who can't work, and you have to have a reeeeeeeally low income.
Posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 20:39:09
In reply to Re: Significant Others » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 11:33:22
Hi Barbara - I posted a thread further above in response to your having asked me if kids are in my future (I explained the reasons why not) and I asked you why you decided not to have children? Just curious!
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 21:03:42
In reply to Re: Social Security, posted by vicky on March 22, 2002, at 8:34:25
I should be a shoe-in, then. I was hospitalized a few years back for same thing and been seeing pdocs for ages. Glad to hear of success stories!
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 21:21:54
In reply to Re: Significant Others and PSB, posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 12:05:36
Maybe we should just wait to get gently reminded. Okay, how about this: Prozac, Serzone, Remeron, Celexa, Wellbutrin, Buspar, Zoloft, Effexor - those are the SSRI's I've been on. Haven't mentioned the other TCAs or mood stabilizers. How about you? This should gain us some mileage here.
Anyhow, yes I know about Catholics having been raised one and went to Parochial school with Nazi nuns for 8 years. I tried going back to Church again this past year after bagging it for 20 and it didn't do it for me. This was a very small town, very traditional parish, though, and I expect that there are more liberated parishes around. There's much I love about the Catholic Church, but I've come to practice more of an eclectic spirituality that suits me quite well.
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 21:35:54
In reply to BCat: I think you missed one of my threads! » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 22, 2002, at 20:39:09
Why no kids for me? I never felt ready. When I was 40 I thought better do it now or never, so we tried but it never happened. I had a very difficult childhood since my father was alternately depressed or in a rage. Both sides of my family have a history of mood disorders so I guess I didn't want the gene pool to get any further. Another reason is that when I leave this body at the end of my life, I want to move on. I'm done with these Earth lessons, don't like how the human race is turning out and don't want any ties to bind me here.
Posted by Janelle on March 23, 2002, at 0:40:33
In reply to Re: Significant Others and PSB » Kar, posted by BarbaraCat on March 22, 2002, at 21:21:54
Hi Barbara,
I couldn't help but read your responses to Kar and Vicky in this thread. To Kar you mentioned AD's you've been on and also made a reference to having been on TCA's, mood stabilizers, etc. It was quite a list. How long have you been dealing with depression, etc.? How long have you been on the med merry-go-round?
And I get the impression from what you wrote to Vicky that you were hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. At the risk of sounding like a real idiot, what exactly constitutes a nervous breakdown?
Thanks!
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 23, 2002, at 2:25:00
In reply to BCat: your experiences » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 23, 2002, at 0:40:33
Janelle,
I'm not on all those meds at once! I'm on lithium, Remeron, klonopin and SAM-e now and they're doing the trick. But I have tried all of them plus others in the 30 years I've been dealing with this. I had some depressions in my childhood, but mainly due to my difficult dysfunctional family. I started getting what I think is biological rather than circumstantial moodswings when I was in my early 20's. I'd cycle in and out of them every few years, but then in my 30's they started occurring more frequently but would for the most part be controlled by AD's. A few years ago some life events got very stressful for me and the zoloft I'd been taking for 6 years stopped working entirely and I started having very severe panic attacks and insomnia. I should have been on an anti-anxiety med but wasn't. It was very frightening and I felt like I was shattering. It seemed the hospital was the safest place so I spent 10 days on the psych ward at a very nice hospital. I don't know how other hospital psych wards compare but this was a decent place.It was a good experience, mainly because I got to see how so many basically normal, good and caring people were suffering from mood disorders and couldn't cope anymore. Of course, there were some real bizarre crazy cases too, but they usually got moved to the 'lockdown' ward.
Thank God those years are over. I think my coping skills are pretty good now and don't think I'll ever let stress get that intense again. I still have a biological disorder and always will, but feel pretty good compared to those days! Anyhow, that's my saga.
Posted by Janelle on March 23, 2002, at 17:28:58
In reply to Re: BCat: your experiences » Janelle, posted by BarbaraCat on March 23, 2002, at 2:25:00
Hi Barbara,
First I just gotta say how NICE, warm, open and friendly you are ... it's great to be able to *compare notes* with someone who's so pleasant and who knows first hand about this depression/anxiety crapola!
Anyway, of course I realize that you haven't been on all those meds at once! If for some bizarre reason you had, my G-d, you would had Serotonin Syndrome big time!
The "oooh" in my subject heading refers to the fact that you are currently on REMERON - I am very interested in this med, because one of the exceptionally knowledgeable people on this board suggested that I substitute Remeron for my Zyprexa and Klonopin. I printed out exactly what he said and am bringing it to my next pdoc appointment!
So, of course now I'm wondering - what DOSE of Remeron are you on, how long have you been on it, and how are you doing with it - what was it prescribed for, is it helping, etc.
I have heard that it can be quite sedating and can cause weight gain - have you experienced either or both of these from it?
And I hate to ask again but the thread where you mentioned it is archived by now and I don't know what the subject heading was to even begin to try to find it, so could you tell me again under here what DOSES you are on of the meds you take!
I'm glad to hear that the cocktail you're on is "doing the trick" and includes SAM-e.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. I greatly appreciate it. For what it's worth, my depression/anxiety, etc. woes also began in my early 20's (I hear that if biologically based, many of these disorders start to manifest themselves in young adulthood).
Posted by vicky on March 23, 2002, at 18:42:01
In reply to BCat: your experiences » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 23, 2002, at 0:40:33
> Hi Barbara,
>
> I couldn't help but read your responses to Kar and Vicky in this thread. To Kar you mentioned AD's you've been on and also made a reference to having been on TCA's, mood stabilizers, etc. It was quite a list. How long have you been dealing with depression, etc.? How long have you been on the med merry-go-round?
>
> And I get the impression from what you wrote to Vicky that you were hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. At the risk of sounding like a real idiot, what exactly constitutes a nervous breakdown?
>
> Thanks!
Hi! My "nervous Breakdown" was to not being able to stop
crying when reacting to the stress of my job, and
the belief that I was suffering from liver disease
(I am now a recovering alcholic) no sign of liver disease
I was very upset, and crying hysterically at my
p docs office so he recommended putting me in the hospital
( I suffer from major depression and chronic anxiety) of
which is controlled by the most part by my meds.I guess
"nervous breakdown" could be any number of things.
Posted by Janelle on March 23, 2002, at 20:25:48
In reply to Re: BCat: your experiences, posted by vicky on March 23, 2002, at 18:42:01
Vicky,
Thanks for explaining what a nervous breakdown was for you. You're right - it varies from person to person. I also have major depression and chronic anxiety.
What meds and doses are you on?
Are you able to work? I'm not right now.
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 24, 2002, at 0:06:23
In reply to BCat: Thanks and Oooh - MORE!, posted by Janelle on March 23, 2002, at 17:28:58
Hi Janelle,
I like Remeron very much. It's the best AD I've been on. However, it doesn't work unless I add lithium to it. All ADs poop out on me eventually and the lithium seems to do some magic to make it work. I take 45 mg. Remeron and 300 mg. lithium. Unfortunately yes, it does cause weight gain. I've gained 20 pounds since early December. Lithium also causes weight gain so both are double trouble. I think that the fact that I was totally inactive and eating alot of carbohydrates when I was real depressed for about 1.5 months is another factor in the weight gain. I'm starting to work out again now that I have more motivation and energy. If you decide to go on Remeron, I think you'll definitely have to commit to extra exercise (but that's an antidepressant in itself).So, I want to hear more about your story, if you don't mind. Do you cycle in and out of depression? Does anything in particular set it off? Help it? It's so helpful for me to hear of other's symptoms cause it's not stuff you can talk about with just anyone. - Barbara
Posted by BarbaraCat on March 24, 2002, at 0:26:52
In reply to Re: BCat: your experiences, posted by vicky on March 23, 2002, at 18:42:01
Vicky,
Yes! The constant crying - I remember that. Hysterical sobbing and feeling of doom. It was like I was picking up only the negative violent 'stations' in my mind. I'd be looking at a beautiful field of flowers and all I could see were the future bulldozers plowing through it to build strip malls. And once the thoughts caught hold and the crying started, nothing could comfort me or convince me that it would ever get better.I just went through a recent bad episode in December through February and it was the anguish and crying again all over again and that fearful sense of dread. Having depression is bad enough, but having anxiety on top of it is nasty. It's very difficult to 'just embrace it'. I'm feeling pretty good again but it's going to take a long spell of it before I trust it.
How are you doing these days? What meds have you found helpful?
Posted by vicky on March 24, 2002, at 17:15:50
In reply to Re: BCat: your experiences » vicky, posted by BarbaraCat on March 24, 2002, at 0:26:52
> Vicky,
> Yes! The constant crying - I remember that. Hysterical sobbing and feeling of doom. It was like I was picking up only the negative violent 'stations' in my mind. I'd be looking at a beautiful field of flowers and all I could see were the future bulldozers plowing through it to build strip malls. And once the thoughts caught hold and the crying started, nothing could comfort me or convince me that it would ever get better.
>
> I just went through a recent bad episode in December through February and it was the anguish and crying again all over again and that fearful sense of dread. Having depression is bad enough, but having anxiety on top of it is nasty. It's very difficult to 'just embrace it'. I'm feeling pretty good again but it's going to take a long spell of it before I trust it.
>
> How are you doing these days? What meds have you found helpful?Hi I'm doing much better these days now that my
pdoc had added Wellbutrin to my prozac, perhphenazine,
and buspar. Yet my only problem is that i remain
very much fatigued and have to lie down at least
once or twice a day for 2 hour stretches, then
crash at 9pm and stay in bed all night for about
10 hours...I would love to beable to for once
in my life stay up late into the nite, and
watch a movie, or even read, but alas....
Posted by trouble on March 25, 2002, at 0:53:27
In reply to Re: Social Security, posted by Kar on March 22, 2002, at 11:49:49
Hey all,
I am in the initial appeals process right now and my attorney thinks we're in like Flynn but I just got the same forms in the mail I filled out three other times so I said fuck it, I don't know what they're having such a hard time comprehending and wrote them a 3 page poem instead. How many times am I supposed to fill out the exact same 3 hour form, it's insane.
I hope my poem does the trick, I'm sending it tomorrow, and let the chips fall where they may. I'm eligible for 800 dollars a month, and allowed to earn as much on my own, so this would sure get me out of the hole I'm in. But geez, my file is already 6 inches thick and they keep bugging me and my doctors fot the same information.
BTW I was examined by the SS psychiatrist who said basically, NEXT STOP: THE MORGUE, and they're still not satisfied. My psychologist says the person evaluating my psychologicals must be an imbicile, I was kind enough, naturally to point this out in tonight's epic, cleverly entitled No More Bullshit.
Tootles,trouble
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 25, 2002, at 3:54:35
In reply to Re: Social Security, just venting, posted by trouble on March 25, 2002, at 0:53:27
> I am in the initial appeals process right now...
This is a fine discussion, I'd just prefer for it to take place at PSB:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020320/msgs/20826.html
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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