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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by zarathustra on December 30, 2001, at 23:10:19
After many futile trips to the hospital E.R. because I am suicidal and wanted help, I decided to goto the Clarke institute here in Toronto and Get myself a psychiatrist. He says that for years, I have been treated for depression when in fact, it is bipolar disorder and epilepsy. I dont dispute the epileptic component (complex partial seizures), but I still believe I am depressed. He currently has me taking divalproex-sodium 750mg B.I.D. and there is little change in suicidal impulses or mood stabilisation. When I initiated this drug, the side effects were horrific for about 2 weeks, and then subsided, I then had three beautifull happy cheerfull undepressed days, and then I crashed back to normal.
I am tired and I feel old (just turned 27) I feel like there is no one to listen or understand. I am under soooo much stress from home, job, friends, finances. I really think that I am the closest ever to actually going through with it. Its very hard to explain: When I began seeing this shrink about 4 months ago, my hope was renewed to a new level, he had me convinced that a solution was right around the corner and "AHA I know whats wrong with you!!!"
That has not come to fruition and it has sapped ALL of my remaining hope. I cant think straight or remember anything, if this alone improved I would be much happier. Its not that I'm sad, Its that I'm neither, its like I just cant feel at all.My latest dilema is existential: Do I stay here in Toronto and find a good paying job get a house, 1.7 kids, 1.9 cars e.t.c. doing the "responsible thing"
or
Follow my heart and take off to the Rocky's and find some quaint friendly lumber town and live a simple life moving from place to place doing whatever I feel like? I'm 27 and I have no idea what I want to do, I know what I dont want to do; be a part of the phony capitalist materialistic 'machine'.
I'm just rambling out thoughts, please dont feel compelled to read.
I hate life I hate people (of which I am one), I am almost ashamed to be human.Where does one go to find themselves? church? spiritual renewal centre? Mountains? Does anyone know, or could anyone tell me what worked for them, please?
Andrew
Posted by ST on December 31, 2001, at 0:07:14
In reply to Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by zarathustra on December 30, 2001, at 23:10:19
Hi Andrew,
Yowza. You've got a lot on your plate. I know the feeling.> >it is bipolar disorder and epilepsy. I dont dispute the epileptic component (complex partial seizures), but I still believe I am depressed > >
You ARE depressed when you're bi polar! It's such an individualistic disease with sort of a different personality for each person. I am
bi polar with more depressive tendencies than manic. But my diagnosis fits in with the wide spectrum that is manic depression/ bi polar disorder. So you may very well be bi polar. But I would ask your doctor why he has diagnosed you as such.
Your "ramblings" caught my eye because I have felt the same way; even thought the same thoughts. You really, really are not alone. (And I also know my saying that doesn't make things any brighter).
Good luck!
Sarah
Posted by shelliR on December 31, 2001, at 8:07:35
In reply to Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by zarathustra on December 30, 2001, at 23:10:19
> I am tired and I feel old (just turned 27) I feel like there is no one to listen or understand. I am under soooo much stress from home, job, friends, finances. I really think that I am the closest ever to actually going through with it. Its very hard to explain: When I began seeing this shrink about 4 months ago, my hope was renewed to a new level, he had me convinced that a solution was right around the corner and "AHA I know whats wrong with you!!!"
> That has not come to fruition and it has sapped ALL of my remaining hope. I cant think straight or remember anything, if this alone improved I would be much happier. Its not that I'm sad, Its that I'm neither, its like I just cant feel at all.
>
> My latest dilema is existential: Do I stay here in Toronto and find a good paying job get a house, 1.7 kids, 1.9 cars e.t.c. doing the "responsible thing"
> or
> Follow my heart and take off to the Rocky's and find some quaint friendly lumber town and live a simple life moving from place to place doing whatever I feel like? I'm 27 and I have no idea what I want to do, I know what I dont want to do; be a part of the phony capitalist materialistic 'machine'.
> I'm just rambling out thoughts, please dont feel compelled to read.
> I hate life I hate people (of which I am one), I am almost ashamed to be human.
>
> Where does one go to find themselves? church? spiritual renewal centre? Mountains? Does anyone know, or could anyone tell me what worked for them, please?
>
> AndrewHi Andrew,
I wouldn't take off quite yet. Whereever you go, you will still have the same diagnosis and lousy feelings, but perhaps no opportunity for treatment.
If you are relavively certain that this doctor is on the wrong track, I would ask for a second opinion; maybe a consultation with another psychiatrist. I know four months seems like an eternity, but for depression and/or bi-polar, it sometimes can take a while to find the right combination of meds. Most people are successful, but it takes an enormous amount of patience. You always have to remember that you are your best advocate, because you care the most, *and* you know what you're feeling, much better than any doctor.
You feel older than you are. You have many years to make the career/family decisions. Your priority should be to get your physical and mental health on track. There are many different mood stabilizers, so if after four months, you are finding no, or little improvement, you should ask for a trial of another.
Shelli
Posted by OldSchool on December 31, 2001, at 16:07:27
In reply to Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by zarathustra on December 30, 2001, at 23:10:19
> After many futile trips to the hospital E.R. because I am suicidal and wanted help, I decided to goto the Clarke institute here in Toronto and
< snip >
Misdiagnosis is common in psychiatry. Accurate diagnosis is the weak link in psychiatry, IMO. Some researchers are working to try to improve psychiatric diagnosing, such as with this functional neuroimaging research you read about.
Perhaps one day in the future, getting a psychiatric dx might be more like going to a cardiologist or neurologist and getting a regular medical diagnosis, with medical tests and all. As for now, well we must suck up the pain and deal with the crude subjectivity that many psychiatric dx's amount to.
Diagnosis could probably be improved a lot if psychiatry was formally merged into Neurology someday.
Old School
Posted by stjames on December 31, 2001, at 16:29:39
In reply to Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by zarathustra on December 30, 2001, at 23:10:19
Keep in mind Bi polar also involves depression, often this depression is more significant than
non bi-polar depression. Bi polars often stay in one phase most of the time so it is easy to miss
the cyclic nature, and decide one has depression.Given to complex nature of having bipolar disorder and epilepsy it will take more than a few months to see major improvement. Bi polar itself is well known for taking several trials and much tinkering to get the right meds.
It is very western to expect meds to work at once.
I have learned, having taken many meds for 2 decades, that most psyco meds take months to work and sucess in the first weeks has little bearing on long term outcome. the first weeks are about side effects, sometimes these are positive effects
and we feel better. However, a cascade of changes
happen when you first take a med, and this cascade does not level out for months.To stay or to go ? Going somewhere else will not
improve your neurology.james
Posted by Krazy Kat on January 1, 2002, at 14:44:33
In reply to Re: Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by stjames on December 31, 2001, at 16:29:39
St. James:
I'd like to see some background for your statement:
"often this depression is more significant than
non bi-polar depression"I am bipolar, but I have seen first hand how horrific a unipolar disorder can be. In fact, it may be "worse" - a depressive may have no concept at all of elation. Mania is destructive, but at least you feel good for awhile.
- K.
Posted by stjames on January 1, 2002, at 19:19:31
In reply to Re: Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed. » stjames, posted by Krazy Kat on January 1, 2002, at 14:44:33
> St. James:
>
> I'd like to see some background for your statement:
>
> "often this depression is more significant than
> non bi-polar depression"
>
> I am bipolar, but I have seen first hand how horrific a unipolar disorder can be. In fact, it may be "worse" - a depressive may have no concept at all of elation. Mania is destructive, but at least you feel good for awhile.
>
> - K.The combo (depression and mania) can be deadly.
Depressives ususally have too little energy to
carry out a plan to kill themselves. With a rapid shift from mania to depression on may have the energy to carry out a plan. This is why suicide
is more common in bipolar than depression.
Posted by Willow on January 1, 2002, at 22:23:40
In reply to Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by zarathustra on December 30, 2001, at 23:10:19
Andrew
Mark three months on the calendar. I envy you being able to get treatment at the Clarke. Any experience my family has had with them has been excellent. Give them three months!
Northern Willow
Posted by Krazy Kat on January 4, 2002, at 11:42:51
In reply to Re: Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by stjames on January 1, 2002, at 19:19:31
Manics have a chance to use that energy to create something. Depressives can be stuck in a cycle of non-action and loss of self-woth their whole lives.
I'm actually not concerned with suicide rates - to me, a life that is miserable is not necessarily worth living. Just because Depressives may be too "tired" to take a way out, doesn't mean they're not suffering as much as a Manic Depressive.
I have to say your posts seem to be awfully caustic lately...
Posted by stjames on January 4, 2002, at 12:40:41
In reply to Re: Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed. » stjames, posted by Krazy Kat on January 4, 2002, at 11:42:51
> Manics have a chance to use that energy to create something. Depressives can be stuck in a cycle of non-action and loss of self-woth their whole lives.
Till they go full manic, or even hypo manic, then they can sin out of control. Spending, sex, poor choices, psychotic thinking, ect. Mania often starts out as a good thing, but untreated it is progressive, so it never ends as a good thing.
I don't really know about how BP effects you, but
it is well known the 2 conditions that are the 2
most commom causes for sucide; BP and schizophrenia.
Posted by akc on January 4, 2002, at 12:58:59
In reply to Re: Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by stjames on January 4, 2002, at 12:40:41
I shouldn't jump in, but what the hell -- it beats working.
I would venture to say that whether you are bipolar or just plain old depressed, you want out of the misery -- and really (if you are experincing a moment of clarity) want a solution other than suicide. Sure one illness may be "worse" than the other. However, does it benefit anyone to have a pissing contest over which illness is worse?
akc
Posted by Krazy Kat on January 5, 2002, at 10:48:26
In reply to Re: Psychiatrist says I've been misdiagnosed., posted by akc on January 4, 2002, at 12:58:59
akc:
If you're just going to jumpo in and call our comments a "pissing contest", please don't.
- K.
This is the end of the thread.
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