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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on April 22, 2005, at 12:29:25
I can feel it
you don't listen with your heart
or maybe you do,
but you answer with your head
and my heart is breaking
dying a million times every day
And I feel so incredibly foolish
and alone, and my body hurts
almost as much as my soul.
My arms are empty.
My love was all wasted.
None of it matters,
none of it was real to anybody.
Posted by sunny10 on April 22, 2005, at 14:10:51
In reply to I Know You Don't Listen, posted by Susan47 on April 22, 2005, at 12:29:25
you wrote
"you don't listen with your heart
or maybe you do,
but you answer with your head"ohmygosh I have felt that way so many times in the last two weeks I can barely stand conversations with MY "you"....
When I spoke with him yesterday, it was all I could do to even be civil.... I was hurting so badly that I wanted to just go beserk.
I hate the fact you're hurting, but I LOVED your poem...
here's one of Lar's bear hugs for you...
{{{{{{{{{Suze}}}}}}}}}}}}}If you need to talk over the weekend, call my cell, okay? I may miss the ringing if I am moving a piece of furniture, but I'll call back as soon as I can, okay?
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
-sunny10(must be the sarcastic bent to my conversations that led to you picturing me with the Spock eyebrow... it's the left one that goes up for me, by the way)
Posted by Susan47 on April 22, 2005, at 18:19:05
In reply to Re: oooooooh » Susan47, posted by sunny10 on April 22, 2005, at 14:10:51
Well yes, plus you have smoker's voice, you know, the titch raspy? Very bad-girl sounding. And, well, you know, it's embarrassing to post these silly things but it helps me to express myself, no matter how foolish it may seem to anybody else. It's just huge, for some reason, to see it posted on the boards, to know that it's available to anyone on the web.
Thanks for your understanding, I know how it is about the hurting so badly you want to go berserk. I went a little bit berserk IRL yesterday. It took me until just a little while ago to feel kind of okay with myself, again. Because I don't do this very often, but when I do, it's a huge rage, very frightening and quick, luckily it's always quick, it's like my brain spiked into unknown territory for one second, it's so hard to describe.
Posted by Susan47 on April 23, 2005, at 20:44:01
In reply to I Know You Don't Listen, posted by Susan47 on April 22, 2005, at 12:29:25
The things a desperate mind will think.
Posted by sunny10 on April 25, 2005, at 10:42:49
In reply to Too Funny, posted by Susan47 on April 23, 2005, at 20:44:01
it is very scary, isn't it?
I went out with a friend that I hadn't seen for a while. I am not a late night person, and she is, so making plans to go out takes some arranging (mostly arranging not to sleep!!). But I so needed a night out that I decided "to h*ll with sleep"- I'm so tired anyway with all this moving and cleaning that what difference will it make, anyway?"
Needless to say, I am not a big drinker, but I smoke more when out at the bar ('specially BECAUSE I was designated driver- I didn't want to move with a hangover; moving TIRED was enough).
So I woke up on Saturday with no voice at all... Was smoking up a storm, singing along with the two guitar, one bass player "band", we went to a "new friend"'s house after for a promised late night breakfast of bacon and eggs, played some darts, watched my friend flirt with the guy, et cetera until 4:30 am !!!! Then I had to drive her home and go home myself! Slept from 5:00 am 'til 6:30 when my cat started walking around my head to be fed. Pushed her away, went back to sleep, pushed her away, and so on until 9:30 am.
Finally had to get up at 9:30 because my cousin was planning on helping me for the day and I had to meet her at the old house!
Finally getting voice back today... moved from 9:45 am on Saturday morning 'til last night.... just a rest Saturday night from 7:00 pm to 8:30 am Sunday, unloaded another Jeep load, another break for the Dali exhibit we had tickets to on Sunday morning, then back to moving at 1:00 pm yesterday for the rest of the day/night. Was actually still moving furniture around in my new bedroom until 10:45 pm last night!
I think every single muscle in my body hurts...
But at least I haven't had much time to think- sometimes for me that is exactly what the doctor ordered!XOXOXOX
sunny10
Posted by Susan47 on April 25, 2005, at 12:56:14
In reply to Re: I've visited that territory often » Susan47, posted by sunny10 on April 25, 2005, at 10:42:49
I am so so glad those days of late-night partying and drinking are over for me.
I remember a few times when I was young, staying up all night right through the hangover, feeling wired, incredibly wired... I used to get the "hangover horny" thing .. why does that happen?
Posted by sunny10 on April 25, 2005, at 13:10:02
In reply to XOXOXOOXO back. » sunny10, posted by Susan47 on April 25, 2005, at 12:56:14
just wrote a really long reply to this and my browser shut itself right at the end!!! Darnit!
Am not familiar with hangover horny... Then again, I'm not capable of drinking heavily... my body just "ejects it" if I consume more than two glasses of wine (or a couple beers or one and a half margaritas)... "praying to the porcelain god" is what happens next, for me...sigh. It's been many years since I tried, but I gave it the old college try the evening after my dad's memorial service. Tried to dull the pain, but NOOOO of course not... was praying to the god before I could say "boo"... darn...
But I know what you mean about not being able to take the long nights anymore.... that's why I don't see that friend that often! I'm too old for that, too!!!! I told her we'll have to start window-shopping together or something instead of going to the bars!!!
-sunny10
This is the end of the thread.
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