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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on June 28, 2014, at 17:02:38
I have been depressed lately, and have been procrastinating writing this. But, I procrastinate no more, dang it!
Today I feel good about:
ice cream (mint ting-a-ling, to be more specific), I got a book from the library about the Higgs boson (the "God particle" that scientists found in 2012). So far I am loving this book.
I also am reading a really good YA book called Please Ignore Vera Deitz.I kind of fought with my family today. A lot. I was irrational, rude and disruptive because my brother hurt my feelings unintentionally. I just feel good that I am not fighting with them anymore. I apologized to my mom. And then we talked for a little while.
I think that depression, I have heard it be called a selfish disease, which I totally believe. Sometimes I think that I am like, the only one. with depression. and that's not true. Sometimes I ask for things I don't get. It frustrates me. But I don't want to let it stop me. For instance, sometimes I feel like I need more supportive relationships with my family and friends. and don't really get it (even though I know my family loves me). But I don't want to a.) blow up at or badger the people not giving me what I need, because they are going through their own things and b.) I don't want to give up my needs and desires. aka, I know i need to find other avenues and other solutions to my problem, like, going to a support group, or finding something that gives me purpose.
I have learned a really cool secret, lol. It's something that just happened for me. A revelation. That when I judge people, I am hurting myself, I am hurting them, I am..I am not helping. Even thoughts like, "I'm better than this person," comparisons. Aren't healthy or good. they happen. But they aren't helpful. I am just finding that this is really working for me.
Posted by Tomatheus on June 28, 2014, at 20:10:54
In reply to gratitude + other random thoughts, posted by Angela2 on June 28, 2014, at 17:02:38
> I have learned a really cool secret, lol. It's something that just happened for me. A revelation. That when I judge people, I am hurting myself, I am hurting them, I am..I am not helping. Even thoughts like, "I'm better than this person," comparisons. Aren't healthy or good. they happen. But they aren't helpful. I am just finding that this is really working for me.
I'm glad to hear that what you've come to realize seems to be working for you. I think that what you've written is spot on, and I do think that it can make us feel good in a sense to come to understand what's helpful for ourselves and others, as well as what's not so helpful. Thank you for sharing what you've written with us.
Tomatheus
Posted by alexandra_k on June 28, 2014, at 22:55:26
In reply to gratitude + other random thoughts, posted by Angela2 on June 28, 2014, at 17:02:38
what a coincidence... today i'm feeling good about ice-cream, too. except it was raspberry white chocolate for me.
my dad used to have this thing for mint ice cream. he'd put dessicated coconut on it. which... changes it...
the books on the higgs boson sounds interesting. all i know is that... apparently it isn't like when you hit them particles spit out like a pinyata... you actually... make the particles in the collision... and that is the sum total of my knowledge on that.
i'm sorry your brother isn't more supportive... and that you feel depressed...
i'm grateful for your gratitude threads. they help me... be positive.
today i'm grateful that i'm officially on break for a bit. i have... a few things to do... but i'm enjoying feeling... freer. lighter.
i'm grateful i managed to find the newest edition of the coolest book in the world online... and i, uh, well... i discovered that 'metabolism' is just another way of saying 'enthalpy'. ack. sigh. get it eventually... i will...
Posted by Angela2 on June 29, 2014, at 15:58:59
In reply to Re: gratitude + other random thoughts, posted by alexandra_k on June 28, 2014, at 22:55:26
Today I feel good about
Seeing my cousin who I haven't seen in a long time, and her kids, they're so cute.
visiting my grandpa, and going to an estate sale with my mom. Bonding with my mom and seeing my grandpa were great. He's silly, but it was still nice.
omg it's so hot out today! I dislike it! I am not a hot weather person. At the ice cream shop with my cousin, I was saying to myself, don't be negative and bring up the hot weather, then she did, lol. hooray for not liking the weather when it's really hot.
I want to go back to school. For what I don't know. I'm not there yet. I have ideas swimming in my head. But still. They change.I dunno. I'm just not ready. Wish I was though! I feel like all my friends and their mother are in school. even my cousin. :P
I had a really good conversation with my friend last night. I told her I was feeling down. She was really helpful and supportive, and I almost want to print out our conversation.
Thank you for the response Tomatheus and Alex, here's what I know about the Higgs boson now that I am into chapter 2 of the book: There are force bosons, that can be laid on top of each other, in the same space, and they don't take up any space. And there are matter bosons or maybe they're just particles. I don't have the book in front of me, and they do take up space. Don't quote me on any of this please! lol
Other things
I apologized to my brother, and we made up. He told me I can talk to him if I want to or email him when I am feeling depressed. He didn't realize I was feeling that way. Yay!
Posted by alexandra_k on June 30, 2014, at 4:09:29
In reply to Re: gratitude + other random thoughts, posted by Angela2 on June 29, 2014, at 15:58:59
glad to hear you made peace with your brother and that you had a good day.
i had a pretty good day. it rained and it rained... but i saw a mental health nurse from the new clinic i'm going to... and she turned out to be really nice. happy to see me... and to let me talk... or whatever i felt was useful. so... that was... good. very good. couldn't have been better, actually.
i'm trying to decide whether to spend over a hundred dollars on a textbook... or whether to buy new sneakers... maybe i'll get the sneakers... i have an electronic copy of the book. will that be good enough? i will try... will save me a lot of money if that turns out to be so...
Posted by Partlycloudy on June 30, 2014, at 12:43:32
In reply to Re: gratitude + other random thoughts, posted by Angela2 on June 29, 2014, at 15:58:59
Today I am grateful for taking the risk of posting outside my comfort zone (and trusting that it didn't alienate anyone).
I straightened out the last prescription with my insurance company that the rehab facility had messed up. Now I am back on track until I see my new pdoc.
I trust my depressive state is a delayed reaction to my experience at rehab, and I am using all my tools, therapeutic and holistic, to gently see me through.
I am grateful that, with a small-ish cattle prod, I am still cooking in my beautiful kitchen.
This is the end of the thread.
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