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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 47. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 19:22:58
test
Posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 19:26:17
In reply to i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 19:22:58
people use it to impression manage. not as an escape or refuge from impression management.
that means it makes irl pressures worse. not better.
:(
Posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 20:11:52
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 19:26:17
i don't know what twitter is about...
but everyone is all over facebook. people post updates of what they are doing now... i guess in the hope that more people will come. so if people are out at a bar or whatever then they will post a pic...
then i guess more people turn up... or not...
ugh.
i don't like social networking. it was bad enough when it was fairly confined to face to face. and now... it is polluting the internet, too :(
social pressure...
i just... it takes so much effort for me to socialise. other people... it isn't conscious effort. it is fun. i need to think... do i really want to invest all this time into learning how to use facebook... buying a smart phone for email / facebook / photos that i can upload to facebook...
it just seems like an added stress...
of course not everyone is that into it... but i've been out of the loop since... forever. to the point where i probably need to make a pretend account just to get into the swing of things...
i... i don't like this at all.
(though to be fair i was wondering where people were drinking at conference and, of course, facebook knew). sigh.
thoughts on smartphones? i can't afford an i-phone or a high end samsung galaxy (though they seem to be the way people are going). want for... checking email. facebook, i guess. take the odd pic...
Posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 20:16:12
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 20:11:52
holy crap. i am okay. it is just hard with things being on lockdown. there is a fine line for me of getting my own personal space (which i need) and having too much of it and then feeling lonely but not knowing how to reach out...
there are people swimming outside. how easy it would be for me to go join them.
i...
need a drink.
that was what was masking my social anxiety... smoking... drinking. i always knew i had social anxiety... difficulty processing social information. yeah. i can do it... but not for as long as most people can. and most people don't seem to need to try... they just... hang out. effortless. enjoying.
i like getting drunk with people. i miss my best bud santiago... dude... i'm sorry there wasn't chemistry there... i couldn't... but you were my best bud in the whole wide world and i miss you. even though we would have only smoked and drunk ourselves to death.
miss you so much.
Posted by Angela2 on December 21, 2013, at 21:29:41
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 20:16:12
Hey Alex, I just want to let you know I've seen this. I want to extend a hand to you. I've been plenty annoyed with facebook and twitter before. I hope you have a better night
Posted by sleepygirl2 on December 21, 2013, at 21:32:03
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 20:11:52
I keep finding that I feel really badly about myself when I spend time in Facebook.
Posted by sigismund on December 21, 2013, at 21:36:42
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 20:11:52
>thoughts on smartphones?
Just bloody awful. Complete waste of space :)
Posted by sigismund on December 21, 2013, at 21:38:30
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » alexandra_k, posted by sleepygirl2 on December 21, 2013, at 21:32:03
I had a Facebook account once.
I would love to follow Rupert Murdoch on twitter though, but will avoid the temptation.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on December 22, 2013, at 0:49:36
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » alexandra_k, posted by sigismund on December 21, 2013, at 21:36:42
>Just bloody awful. Complete waste of space :)
Now I've got one, I'm hooked.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 1:09:49
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » sigismund, posted by ed_uk2010 on December 22, 2013, at 0:49:36
> >Just bloody awful. Complete waste of space :)
>
> Now I've got one, I'm hooked.
>
>what do you do with it?
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 1:42:26
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by Angela2 on December 21, 2013, at 21:29:41
> Hey Alex, I just want to let you know I've seen this. I want to extend a hand to you. I've been plenty annoyed with facebook and twitter before. I hope you have a better night
thanks. I hope you have a good night.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 1:45:50
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » alexandra_k, posted by sleepygirl2 on December 21, 2013, at 21:32:03
> I keep finding that I feel really badly about myself when I spend time in Facebook.
yeah. i see how much time some people spend there and, well, well... i guess, to be fair, that's what happens when you get a post-doc someplace... uh... well... coming to terms with 'living the dream'.
i'm just not terribly social.
or... i am differently social with different people. i don't understand this idea of broadcasting the same thing to everyone.
like the idea of a single (objective?) life narrative.
facebook keeps trying to make me...
what high school did i go to?
when did i finish there?
then what did i study?
did i graduate?
then what did i do?f*ck*ng nosy bastard. what's it to you??? who are you that you want to know this deeply personal information about my life???
wtf??????
!
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 1:51:42
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » sigismund, posted by ed_uk2010 on December 22, 2013, at 0:49:36
i guess i look at the specs of the high end ones then work my way backwards... to however much i feel like paying. which is not much, honestly.
what do i want to do???
check email. send from free wireless connection around campus.
check these boards. from free wireless connection around campus.
send a couple text messages occasionally.i have a cable for internet access at home. does that mean i need to pay to check email / boards with the smartphone from home? I guess it won't plug in to the ethernet cable. i'll just get prepay so i pay for everything unless i use free wireless around campus...
i guess that is how these things work?
i have a macbook pro already... uh... i don't quite understand the use...
looks like i can get one for aroun $200. which is around as much as my i-pod cost. sigh... can i be bothered. really? for reals?
Posted by Phillipa on December 22, 2013, at 9:25:26
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » alexandra_k, posted by sleepygirl2 on December 21, 2013, at 21:32:03
Can I ask why? I've reconnected with people from High School, old home town, and joined some book clubs, found some really great authors, and at times talk with my kids on there. Lately it has been rather dead like here but then it's that time of years. Facebook to me is more real than babble. Phillipa
Posted by Ronnjee on December 22, 2013, at 11:13:10
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 1:51:42
> what do i want to do???
>
> check email. send from free wireless connection around campus.
> check these boards. from free wireless connection around campus.
> send a couple text messages occasionally.
>
> i have a cable for internet access at home. does that mean i need to pay to check email / boards with the smartphone from home? I guess it won't plug in to the ethernet cable. i'll just get prepay so i pay for everything unless i use free wireless around campus...
>
> i guess that is how these things work?
>
> i have a macbook pro already... uh... i don't quite understand the use...
>
> looks like i can get one for aroun $200. which is around as much as my i-pod cost. sigh... can i be bothered. really? for reals?
>
A WiFi capable smartphone can use the local connection, so you can get by with minimal data usage on the cell providor's plan. Shop carefully for a phone, because there are bargains out there. Used is also a good way to go - I got high-end touchscreen dumbphones on eBay for 30 bucks each.Smartphones are like many things that can be "abused"; it's the user that matters. To me, technology is mostly a tool; lastly a pastime.
Posted by sigismund on December 22, 2013, at 14:09:03
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » sigismund, posted by ed_uk2010 on December 22, 2013, at 0:49:36
>Now I've got one, I'm hooked.
That's what I figured.
I am too cognitively impaired, stubborn and lazy for that.
An advanced act of colonisation.
Posted by sigismund on December 22, 2013, at 14:14:04
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » ed_uk2010, posted by sigismund on December 22, 2013, at 14:09:03
A Dexedrine prescription might change my way of thinking.
Posted by sigismund on December 22, 2013, at 14:16:11
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » sleepygirl2, posted by Phillipa on December 22, 2013, at 9:25:26
>Facebook to me is more real than babble.
It must be a lot bigger.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 14:36:09
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » sleepygirl2, posted by Phillipa on December 22, 2013, at 9:25:26
> I've reconnected with people from High School, old home town, and joined some book clubs, found some really great authors, and at times talk with my kids on there. Lately it has been rather dead like here but then it's that time of years. Facebook to me is more real than babble.
There's your answer right there.
I don't have any desire to reconnect with people from High School or my old home town.
Facebook is more real...
That is kind of the problem.
It is a social networking thing. Which means there is pressure to manage your image. Or at least... There is for someone like me... Who... Needs to take effort to present a somewhat coherent face to the world.
It is interesting to keep up with people having kids... Getting married... Moving countries / universities...
Stuff that gives them a coherent and linear timeline. Probably like what my last t was trying to get out of me.
I guess mostly people just post little odds and ends about things they find interesting. Some of them are. Get to read about the housing market in San Fran and about various conferences around the world.
Maybe it is just that in the past I got side-tracked by the stupid little games. Then I didn't want my colleagues to know I was playing them (and I certainly didn't want a lot of notifications about them in their newsfeeds)... Ugh.
Posted by vbs on December 22, 2013, at 16:35:23
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 20:11:52
Virgin Mobile Awe is a great smartphone that's affordable. I've had mine for about three weeks now & I love it. It has Facebook, Twitter, YouTube & Instagram.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 18:27:51
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » alexandra_k, posted by vbs on December 22, 2013, at 16:35:23
thanks people.
i'm alright.
i won't let the salient few get to me. i have more properly realized that MOST of my facebook friends aren't particularly active on facebook... I do see the use in inviting people en masse etc etc.
i drank a few too many beers (seemed like a good idea at the time). i think i need to ease up on that. mostly because... it gets me feeling down, rather.
i went to the gym this morning and feeling much better about everything.
i will see about a smart phone. it has been on my one day list for a while now... i'll see... university has apps for various things... guess i worry i'm missing out on things... getting old ahaha. out of date. like those old people who won't use the ATM and want to do everything via the teller.
jan 3... when things reopen. that's my deadline for getting my supervisor this next chunk of work.
i... don't know what to say... i don't know that it is realistic to think that i'll be ready to submit come March. i... am afraid. my being a student there is very central for my identity. i can't face the thought of being booted / leaving the program. i want to do a summer school course in calculus. there is one... i think i'll need it... have looked at past years exams for chemistry and physics... the physics is meant to be an easy pass for people who have done it before but it won't be for me. chemistry looks like a foreign language. all the work i've done in it already only takes me through the first few questions (as in i see how to answer them - not even i actually can answer them without looking things up right now and even then i'm not entirely sure i got the answers right). anatomy and physiology is... synthetic / figure it out questions. wow.
macro-economics clashed. surprisingly there is a pharmacy course on the open schedule that it looks like i can take. maybe because it has a 2,000 word essay requirement which makes it not an easy pass for some science people. drugs and society. seems to have overlap with the open lectures i was listening to last year... how people find new molecules etc etc etc.
gym is only closed on the actual stat days... so... gym and writing... i'll ease off the beer...
i'm going to be okay.
Posted by baseball55 on December 22, 2013, at 19:38:20
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2013, at 20:11:52
I have never gone on twitter. I got a face book page. I don't know why. I never look at it. I get emails from people wanting to "friend" me and I delete them. I hate text messages. When people text me, I call them up and try to talk. I use email only for work. I hate it when friends email. I call them to respond. I want to have real, physical, human connections. This virtual stuff makes me unhappy.
Posted by baseball55 on December 22, 2013, at 19:53:41
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » alexandra_k, posted by baseball55 on December 22, 2013, at 19:38:20
Do you need calculus? if you need physics, then you need calculus, but do you need physics for a pre-med program? I guess physicians do stuff with radiology that are physics-based. I never thought about medicine and physics.
Chemistry is really a breeze. Seems intimidating, and there is a lot of memorization, but there's a logic to chemistry -- not an easy logic, but a logic -- whereas biology and physiology have no logic at all. Just rote memorization
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 20:36:47
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore » baseball55, posted by baseball55 on December 22, 2013, at 19:53:41
> Do you need calculus? if you need physics, then you need calculus, but do you need physics for a pre-med program? I guess physicians do stuff with radiology that are physics-based. I never thought about medicine and physics.
just the one: 'physics for life sciences'. mechanics, thermal physics, wave motion, electricity and instrumentation. it is meant to be about last year high school level - but instrumentation stuff is new for everyone.
this is meant to be one of the 4 easier papers to help lighten the load. but since my background is in things like english literature, education, philosophy, social psychology, and cognitive neuroscience... uh... the 'easier' papers are mostly novel content for me.
> Chemistry is really a breeze. Seems intimidating, and there is a lot of memorization, but there's a logic to chemistry -- not an easy logic, but a logic
it seems nice and lego-landish. tractatus-like. or something... i've just started learning the functional groups but i don't know any synthesis reactions as yet. i'm a bit worried about balancing equations. sometimes they give us products and we are supposed to say how much of whatever we get out of it. i think we do stuff about rates of synthesis, too.
i think mostly what the summer school calculus will do is give me a better idea of how much trouble i am likely to have with numbers... and i can see about getting extra help supports in place before the start of the year if i need extra help. it might just be that i benefit from the extra practice. i know i get better at working with numbers when i am working with numbers... even silly things like grading... data entry... i'm not particularly number literate... and so... i wasn't really given the opportunity to develop higher level conceptual apparatus... i might be a bit of a slow learner...
> -- whereas biology and physiology have no logic at all.
physiology has logic! i did anatomy / physiology at tech (exercise science) and really freaking loved it! it is fairly synthetic... what i liked most about the anatomy / physiology exam was that there wasn't any labelling of bony landmarks or whatever... but there were puzzle type questions that you needed to figure out... like house ahahaha. what i like about physiology is understanding the components of the system and how they work together... then when you get a certain output trying to figure the different ways in which things can break down... figure how probing different things will help tease things apart / pinpoint the problem. like electrical circuits or something i guess ahaha. like... trying to come up with a theory of mind on the basis of behavior and stroke etc...
it is messier than legoland, though, i take your point about that. i suspect it has something to do with non-linearity (and feedback loops) but i don't even really know what that means ahahaha.
it is funny how different people seem to take to the different papers. i mean... some people say they really loved the epidemiology paper (seems a lot like a more precise version of critical thinking to me, i think i will enjoy it a lot) whereas other people say they really loved the chemistry (or that they found it easy / enjoyable)...
i don't know what i'll take to... i had trouble with basic arithmetic... so i sort of gave up on math real early. then that prevented me learning the hard sciences... then discovering all anybody seems to want is mathematical modellers. sigh.
bio-medical engineering.
sigh.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 22:39:26
In reply to Re: i don't like the internet anymore, posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 20:36:47
ah... i see now...
this is the thing to do. it will be how i'll get to meet the highly motivated returning older people who don't have a background in math / physics / chemistry. the social people / those with experience in the field... aka: the ones who might help haul my *ss through the interview if i can help them haul their *ss*s through the academic part... quid pro quo clarisse...there is a calculus paper... a physics paper (which is full but i bet if i show up they won't turn me away)... then the chemistry runs a week long course later, once the summer school is finished.
i'll need to ask if i can suspend my enrollment for my thesis or something... until next summer... if i want this to work (and i want this to work really a whole f*ck*ng heap) then i'm going to need to put in some preparatory work...
also... i'm so tired of being left to flouder by myself. so tired...
get supervisor work for the 3rd... then tell him my cunning plan...
i think (fingers crossed) that the enrollment people don't mind...
?
good for them too?
yes?
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