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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 0:31:09
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cryYou float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very specialBut I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong hereI don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soulI want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was specialBut I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhhShe's running out the door
She's running out
She run run run run...
run...Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was specialBut I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong hereI don't belong here...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxpblnsJEWM
-T
Posted by WaterSapphire on August 22, 2008, at 1:08:45
In reply to This is how I feel right now, posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 0:31:09
HUGS TexasChic. This song, which I have never heard before is so moving and powerful. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I really hope you can find some comfort and solace in this crazy world. WOW...
Posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 1:26:02
In reply to Re: This is how I feel right now, posted by WaterSapphire on August 22, 2008, at 1:08:45
I'm okay. I just feel I can identify with that song right now, feeling like some kind of freak who doesn't fit in anywhere.
-T
P.S. You've never heard of Radiohead? They are only my favorite band of all times!!!
Posted by Angela2 on August 22, 2008, at 7:40:04
In reply to This is how I feel right now, posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 0:31:09
(((((((((((((TC))))))))))))))))
Posted by Phillipa on August 22, 2008, at 12:36:40
In reply to Re: This is how I feel right now, posted by Angela2 on August 22, 2008, at 7:40:04
T it's hard to try and relax isn't it? Hang in there. You will be fine the signs are there from past experiences you've had. Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 13:25:07
In reply to Re: This is how I feel right now, posted by Phillipa on August 22, 2008, at 12:36:40
I realized I forgot to say thanks to WaterSapphire in my response too. I really do appreciate all who comfort me when I'm in a bad place.
Right now, I don't know, I seemed to have switched from crazy insane anxiety to 'I can't stop crying' depression. I try to stay positive, but the fact is, I fail at everything eventually. I can't seem to keep a job or keep any friends. I think it wouldn't be so bad except that I apparently give a good first impression, which gives me hope, but then it all falls apart.
Then there's the fact that I keep screwing up my finances no matter how hard I try. This time I accidentally paid all my bills a week early. I get paid twice a month so some months I get my paycheck on the third Friday instead of the second, and I just got mixed up. So everything bounced and I got charged, then they sent them all through again, which meant a second round of fees. So that was just a complete fiasco.
I'm just tired of everything always being so hard. I'm very down on myself right now. I'll get past it, I always seem to be able to. I just happen to be right smack in the middle of a really bad case of one of those 'I'm worthless, why do I ever bother to keep trying' episodes.
In addition to all this, I don't think I've shared this with anyone because its just so gross, but for the past month my apartment suddenly got infested by roaches (the guy downstairs moved out, so I guess they all just moved up here). I am COMPLETELY phobic about bugs. The apartment management has sprayed 4 weeks in a row now, the last one being yesterday when they used some heavy duty fogger and a crack a crevice machine. So for 4 weeks I've been living with all my stuff in boxes in the middle of the room so they can treat all cabinets and closets. Not to mention the fact the the first initial sprayings just seemed to make them scatter. This last one seems to have done more good then the previous times, but I'm still afraid to put anything back in the cabinets yet.
So thanks for listening to me complain. And sorry if I already said some of this somewhere in another post, I didn't feel like going back and reading everything.
-T
Posted by Angela2 on August 22, 2008, at 15:54:48
In reply to Thanks all of you, posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 13:25:07
TC, I just want to comment on what you said about not being able to keep friends. I just want you to know that I've always liked you here on PB. I think you bring something unique and great to the forum. I feel like I can relate to you in some ways too. Anywho, just wanted to tell ya that. I hope you feel better soon.
Ang2
Posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 22:01:29
In reply to Re: Thanks all of you, posted by Angela2 on August 22, 2008, at 15:54:48
Thanks Angela, I guess I should have specified I meant friends IRL because I have made a lot of friends here at babble, including you. I appreciate what you said, I always figure I come off as self absorbed and odd.
I am feeling better than I was earlier. I completely revamped my resume, which I've been meaning to do for a long time. It wasn't that it was bad before, but it was really brief and dry. Basically just, "I worked here and here and here, used this software, hire me." So I added a lot more description, keywords, and power words like 'expert this' and 'master of that'. So now I just have to start sending it out. I just wish I hadn't sent out the old one about 200 times already. But I guess we can't dwell on the past.
So I'm going to quit for tonight and watch Scary Movie 4, then start again tomorrow.
-T
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 23, 2008, at 16:55:18
In reply to Thanks all of you, posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 13:25:07
Hi TC..
Being the major Loser...errr..loner..heh...I am, I really relate to the words to that song ("Creep" by Radiohead..I ran and bought the album the first day I heard that song years ago..and 'very' was originally another four letter word that stats with an "F"..heh..). I have just 1 or 2 people IRL that are more like "acquaintances" then friends. I often wonder (it doesn't bother me because I don't really care) if people in my family think I am gay. (Wouldn't I be bringing boyfriends around if I was?..lol)
But I really, really relate to your loneliness, and am sorry you have to live with this sh*t too.
That is the one feeling that comes clear to my mind first, when I think of this depression, is "damn...I have NEVER felt so lonely!!:-(."Take good care of yourself...the storm will pass, even if it's just for awhile.
Jay
Posted by Angela2 on August 23, 2008, at 18:51:49
In reply to Re: Thanks all of you » Angela2, posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 22:01:29
> Thanks Angela, I guess I should have specified I meant friends IRL because I have made a lot of friends here at babble, including you. I appreciate what you said, I always figure I come off as self absorbed and odd.
>
> I am feeling better than I was earlier. I completely revamped my resume, which I've been meaning to do for a long time. It wasn't that it was bad before, but it was really brief and dry. Basically just, "I worked here and here and here, used this software, hire me." So I added a lot more description, keywords, and power words like 'expert this' and 'master of that'. So now I just have to start sending it out. I just wish I hadn't sent out the old one about 200 times already. But I guess we can't dwell on the past.
>
> So I'm going to quit for tonight and watch Scary Movie 4, then start again tomorrow.
>
> -TI admire your drive and ambition TC. Good for you. I always need help from others to put together a resume.
Watching a movie sounds like a great way to relax. hope you have fun.
take care
Angela2
Posted by TexasChic on August 23, 2008, at 20:33:20
In reply to Re: Thanks all of you » TexasChic, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 23, 2008, at 16:55:18
I've known more guys than girls who like Radiohead (it was a guy who introduced me to them). My brother loves them too. Have you heard of Muse? They are compared to Radiohead a lot, but to me there's only a vague resemblance. I really like them though.
I'm feeling a bit better today, but it comes and goes. I think being inside all the time and not communicating with many people is starting to get to me. I'm ready to get out and start working again, just not at the old job.
Thanks for the support!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on August 23, 2008, at 21:35:29
In reply to Re: Thanks all of you » TexasChic, posted by Angela2 on August 23, 2008, at 18:51:49
> I admire your drive and ambition TC. Good for you. I always need help from others to put together a resume.
Funny, I don't feel like I have drive and ambition! Thank you though. All I really want is to get a job I don't hate!
At least this time off has helped me get some idea of what direction I want to go in. I realize now that I've been associating the big corporate companies with success, when that's not necessarily true. I started off at a small to medium sized publishing and printing company. I'm beginning to realize maybe that wasn't so bad after all.
So rather then continuing to struggle with trying to fit in with the high heels and french pedicure crowd, maybe its time I reconsidered the jeans and t-shirts crowd. (Actually, I kind of like french pedicures, but I read an article once talking about a sporting event where the tickets were so expensive it was "nothing but the cocaine and french pedicure crowd". I've loved that line and have always remembered it.) Who knows, maybe I can find something in between. Or even better, maybe I can stop defining myself by my job!!
> Watching a movie sounds like a great way to relax. hope you have fun.
Yeah, Scary Movie 4 just happened to come on and I'd forgotten how completely silly and hilarious it is. And since I'm a horror movie buff, I've seen all the movies they are making fun of.
Now to figure out what to do tonight.
-T
Posted by Angela2 on August 24, 2008, at 12:05:58
In reply to Re: Thanks all of you » Angela2, posted by TexasChic on August 23, 2008, at 21:35:29
> > I admire your drive and ambition TC. Good for you. I always need help from others to put together a resume.
>
> Funny, I don't feel like I have drive and ambition! Thank you though. All I really want is to get a job I don't hate!
>I guess I see you motivated because you are putting yourself out there by looking for a job, getting your resume together, great stuff.
> At least this time off has helped me get some idea of what direction I want to go in. I realize now that I've been associating the big corporate companies with success, when that's not necessarily true. I started off at a small to medium sized publishing and printing company. I'm beginning to realize maybe that wasn't so bad after all.
>
> So rather then continuing to struggle with trying to fit in with the high heels and french pedicure crowd, maybe its time I reconsidered the jeans and t-shirts crowd. (Actually, I kind of like french pedicures, but I read an article once talking about a sporting event where the tickets were so expensive it was "nothing but the cocaine and french pedicure crowd". I've loved that line and have always remembered it.) Who knows, maybe I can find something in between. Or even better, maybe I can stop defining myself by my job!!
>Those are great insights TC. *I* feel inspired by your realizations. I hope you do too!
Angela2
Posted by fayeroe on August 24, 2008, at 13:41:35
In reply to Thanks all of you, posted by TexasChic on August 22, 2008, at 13:25:07
TC, I had never seen roaches in my house until I moved down here. I used Boric Acid and Family Dollar "Heavy Weight" did it! It is toxic but I cleared out all of the animals and only used it under the sink.
I see them outside.....My dogs kill them and the feral cat, living in my bathroom, tortures them and then kills them.
I understand your disgust. I don't know anyone around here that hasn't been battling them. The fleas were killed and the roaches took their place.
I am so sorry that you're down..is there anything that I can do? I have a full tank of gas :-) and would gladly come see you. I can bring tea and my sour cream cookies. :-)
xoxoxo Pat
P.S. Do you have fire ants? They have been killing my lizards and toads.....I HATE THEM> I have found that the diatemacious earth (I think I spelled it wrong) mixed with sugar kills them. It didn't work until the sugar was added. It is natural and won't hurt the pets. Their bites also cause sores......:-(
Posted by TexasChic on August 25, 2008, at 12:56:16
In reply to Re: Thanks all of you » TexasChic, posted by fayeroe on August 24, 2008, at 13:41:35
> TC, I had never seen roaches in my house until I moved down here. I used Boric Acid and Family Dollar "Heavy Weight" did it! It is toxic but I cleared out all of the animals and only used it under the sink.
>
> I see them outside.....My dogs kill them and the feral cat, living in my bathroom, tortures them and then kills them.
>
> I understand your disgust. I don't know anyone around here that hasn't been battling them. The fleas were killed and the roaches took their place.My cat will torture and kill those big ones (and believe me, he gets a treat and a good back scratching for it too), but the little ones, which is what my place got infested with, he just looks at them like "look at all those funny little things moving around".
But I believe they may have gotten them this last time they fumigated. They used the heavy duty stuff this time where I had to wait 3 hours until I could go back in. It was so gross, there were like, a million dead ones on the kitchen floor that I had to sweep up. Bleck!!!
I'd like to have them do that one more time to be sure, but I am so sick of living with all my stuff in boxes in the middle of the room (that's so they can spray all the cabinets and closets). I've been living that way for 4 weeks now! I finally relented and put my food back in the pantry. But every so often I sneak in there and open the door real fast and look behind things to see if I can catch any hiding out. I haven't seen any so far, but I'm still not completely convinced.As far as fire ant are concerned, I haven't had any problems personally, but that's because the apartments take care of that. I can remember stepping on an ant hill when I was a little kid. I think all kids down here have to go through that at least once. You (the kid) start screaming and everyone starts yanking off your shoes and socks and sometimes even the rest of your clothes, and just start slapping you all over trying to get them off. And if there's a water hose near by, you'll be certain to get a does of that too.
> I am so sorry that you're down..is there anything that I can do? I have a full tank of gas :-) and would gladly come see you. I can bring tea and my sour cream cookies. :-)
Yum! Sour cream cookies sound good!!! But I'm feeling a bit better today. Yesterday I spent most of the day looking up publishing and printing companies in the online yellow pages and just emailing them my resume saying, if you think I might be a good fit for your company, give me a call. I've already gotten a few responses back saying they didn't have any openings but wished me luck. One even said I had a very impressive resume, which made me feel good! So that's what
I'm going to be doing today too. Wish me luck!-T
Posted by TexasChic on August 25, 2008, at 13:05:11
In reply to Re: Thanks all of you, posted by Angela2 on August 24, 2008, at 12:05:58
Posted by fayeroe on August 25, 2008, at 13:09:40
In reply to Re: Thanks all of you » fayeroe, posted by TexasChic on August 25, 2008, at 12:56:16
This is the end of the thread.
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